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Drive Angry

March 3, 2011

A strange thing happened to me yesterday. While sitting in the theater I found myself bored and restless. How could I bored? I was watching Nic Cage with bleached blond hair driving angry with Amber Heard and they were killing everyone in sight. I can 100% percent say that there was more tension in The King’s Speech.

amber heard drive angry


The movie did not work for me. I feel lame saying that. The Highlight was William Fichtner as the accountant. You’d recognize him as the character actor that has been in everything. He also mutters the classic line in Ultraviolet “why won’t you let anyone in?” His character is the best part of this flick because he is the only who seems to know that he is in a movie called Drive Angry.

Also, I believe that Nic Cage is probably the only person crazy enough to escape from the prison known as hell. In the film we are told that Hell is just a prison.  I would have liked to have seen that movie. It would be the Shawshank Redemption with Nic Cage. I heard in the movie Cage was put in solitary confinement in hell. You have to be a crazy mofo to be separated from everyone down there.

I guess the movie bored me because it was nothing new. Cage drives (Gone in 60 Seconds) Cage shoots (The Rock, Face-Off) Cage has a bad hair cut (Next, Bangkok Dangerous) Cage wants revenge (Kick-Ass) Cage kills 11 bad guys while having relations with a bartender (National Treasure). Sure I’ve never seen anyone drink beer out a skull before but A similar trend has been going on lately. Machete and The Mechanic bored me as well. I thought the movie would provide me with some fun but I left the theater feeling dirty and questioning why I spent my money on them.

The problem with these films is that they feel like exploitation for exploitation sake. It becomes a paint by the numbers revenge film.  Also, you don’t care about any of the characters. There is nothing fun new and interesting about them. The movie Planet Terror introduced us to some really fun semi-iconic characters. There was a sense of newness to the oldness.

It pains me to say this but the whole experience was a resounding “meh”


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