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The Scream Queens of Film: Milla Jovovich

September 19, 2012

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Good God!  How has this chick never been a Bond girl!?!?!?!

Milla Jovovich has done no traditional horror yet, despite having all of the necessary talents (e.g., 5’9” and an ex-model, sharp eyes that can evil, vacant, wide and horrified…oh, how about just plain hot!).  However, she has dominated the videogame zombie scene with a humble introduction to sci-fi-future vampire Matrix-land and alien abduction flicks.

Tight pants, flexible, never too busy to throw in a few more jump kicks…Milla Jovovich, I think I love you.

Here is her résumé:  Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), The Fourth Kind (2009), Resident Evil: Extinction (2007), Ultraviolet (2006), Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), Resident Evil (2002).  Being an ex-supermodel, she happily brought her highly variable fashion sense to the Resident Evil series as you can see…

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She wears a red dress while fighting zombies in a virus WMD factory and no one ever dare questioned the wardrobe decision.  When asked how she felt about the little dress Milla simply said, “Yeah, I could jump kick a zombie dog in that.  This’ll work.”

In Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) she managed to make laying down on broken glass with bruised up hooker-legs look hot.  The Universe nearly imploded when this happened at the premier!

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Looking post-apocalyptic-chic with her “end of the world” thigh-highs and Day of the Comet ratty hair in Resident Evil: Extinction.

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Three times the hot and straight up ninja-sexy in Resident Evil: Afterlife.

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And finally a bit S & M-y as she steps up the leather in Resident Evil: Retribution.

She also has some thriller Scream Queen street cred, having played a credible tough chick in A Perfect Getaway (2009) and a scared victem with a rare psychological disorder called “face blindness” (or prosopagnosia) in Faces in the Crowd (2011).  Hell, let’s just include her sci-fi breakthrough performance in Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element (1997), too!  If Daryl Hannah gets to claim Blade Runner, then Fifth counts!  After all, they were both young, acrobatic, not human and scantily clad, right?  Works for me.

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Milla punches through glass, sprints, jumps through wall, kicks some ass and falls through the roof of a cab wearing nothing but some future medical tape.  Nicely done, Milla.  Nicely done.

Born in 1975 in the Soviet Union (in today’s Ukraine), Jovovich—like Underworld’s Kate Beckensale who starred in Underworld: Awakening (2011) at 38 and kicked some serious ass in Total Recall (2012) at 39—may be getting older (36 in Resident Evil: Retribution).  But damn do we think she has a couple more of these in her!  I hope that Underworld: Nightfall and Resident Evil: Resurrection [made-up titles] come out at the same time in 2014.

JESUS!  You can’t be human and look that good.
Watch out for her in Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017; upcoming)!

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