Wes Anderson Madness: Divisional Round

Hello all. Mark here.

Now that you’ve had time to mull over the brackets I’m going deplete the competition to 16 unique characters. The decisions were life changing and will most likely confuse.

The one thing you have to understand is that I love secondary characters. My favorite movies are Jaws (Quint), Dr. Strangelove (General Ripper), Royal Tenenbaums (not a spoiler) and Hot Fuzz (The Andys). These movies are full of wonderful supporting characters who make the films memorable.

Another example is that my favorite characters from this past years Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows and Kung Fu Panda 2 were second in commands to the evil bad guys. I liked them because they were the ones who got their fingers dirty and got little in return. The two villians were much more interesting than Holmes, Watson, Moriarty and a fat panda.

I am going to break down the Watersports and Cuss Spit divisions.

Mr. Fox talked his way past the friendly Henry Sherman (RT). In the end, the fox was able to make Sherman believe that he didn’t want to be in the competition and he should be happy with Etheline Tenenbaum.

The Badger (FMF) went hunting for Patricia (DL). However, this led him on a massive journey. When he found her he was a changed animal. Also, she disappeared when he was sleeping. He later found Patricia and joined her on a spiritual journey.

Richie “The Baumer” Tenenbaum finally put his feelings aside for his step sister and shot past her 6-0 6-0 6-0. This win gives The Baumer some serious momentum as he pushes aside his demons and gets rid of the song Needle in the Hay from his Ipod.

Finally, the only reason I included Dr. Peter (Rushmore) was because of his OR scrubs. I love how he set himself up for a killer Max joke. Francis Whitman makes quick work of the Dr. when he leaves himself open to another joke about thermometer usage.

Next up is the Cuss Spit division. The characters openly engaged war on each other causing mass family dysfunction and an eventual Anderson screenplay.

Anthony Adams (BR) was able to deliver a wonderful monologue about watersports which propelled him ahead the beleaguered Stephen McCole.

A resilient Alistair Hennessey and his band of seafaring young men were no match for the wonderfully moustached Jack Whitman.

Ash literally cussed and spit so much Bob Mapplethorpe backed down and started crying about his older brother. Ash lived up to his “muscle” title.

An unlucky Peter Whitman got matched up against the diminutive juggernaut known as Max Fischer. The competition was over before it started. However, the two became friends and Peter starred in his next play about an India train ride called “The India train ride.” The play was well received but the title was accused of lacking originality. Fischer responded with one sentence “What the F*^# do you call Romeo and Juliet?”

The 16 have dropped to eight. Three Schwartzmans, Two Lukes, a claymation fox, an Anderson favorite and a Owen.

The next post will focus on the Portuguese Bowie and Wildcat divisions. There will be bloodshed, pithy one liners and artwork of men on four wheelers.

Comment, complain, wear OR scrubs.