The 2023 Random Movie Awards!

It’s the 2023 edition of the MFF Random Awards! I love putting these awards together and hopefully you’ll be inspired and watch some of the awarded films. If you’re bored please comment with your 2023 random awards. Also, make sure to listen to our 2023 Mid-Year Random Award episode. 

Before checking out the awards, here are my 10 favorites films of 2023. This is based on how long the movies have lingered in my memory or featured a scene that floored me.

1. Fist of the Condor – it’s a very unique Chilean action film that plays like an arthouse film.
2. Past Lives – It’s beautiful, mature and patient.
3. Sisu – Bombastic Finnish action film that GOES for it.
4. Asteroid City – ScarJo and Schwartzman are perfect together.
5. Full Time – A tense and stressful film that features the best ending of 2023.
6. Polite Society – A thrillingly alive and fun movie.
7. Plane – I love how simple and effective it is. Very refreshing.
8. Perfect Days – It’s a relaxing film with some beautiful moments
9. Priscilla – Sofia Coppola is the best.
10. BlackBerry – Thrilling, fun and perfectly performed.

Here are the awards! Enjoy!

You Made Me Cry Award – The ending of Insidious: The Red Door made me cry. Seriously….

Best Luggage Work Award – Past Lives is one of the best 2023 movies, and it features some excellent luggage work. 

Best Skype Work Award – Flora and Son will put a gigantic smile on your face and make you want to pay a guitar instructor for some lessons. 

Best Securing of an Address Award – Fallen Leaves is an absolute charmer and I love the moment when the lead character secures an address.

Best Chocolates That Make You Drunk Award – Wonka is delightful and I’ve learned to always trust Paul King.

Best Experiencing the World Award – Emma Stone will win many awards for Poor Things, and I loved watching his experience the world (and annoy Mark Ruffalo)

Best Ending of the Year Award – Full Time is a stress bomb that features a very cathartic ending

Most Inspired Jacket Push Award – There’s a moment in Thanksgiving when a kid pushes the jacket on his girlfriend’s shoulders (put there by her ex-boyfriend) off onto the ground and it’s hilarious. 

Best Sawing Off of a Leg Award – Only two Saw movies feature a limb being sawed off by a saw. Saw X is one of them.

Best Restaurant Tears Award – All of Us Strangers features a tear-jerking scene in a restaurant. It will hurt you. 

Best Bug Punch Award – Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is a good time and I love when Momoa punches a large bug in the face. 

Best Walking Award – Scrapper features the best walking of 2023. Watch it. You’ll see.

Best Worst Usage of an Axe – Holy moly, When Evil Lurks is a soul crusher. 

I Want Like 50 More of These Movies Award – A Haunting in Venice is so good, and I want Kenneth Branagh to direct more Agatha Christie movies. 

Best Oyster Eating Award – I can’t shake Quasi, it’s an odd little movie and I think the Broken Lizard crew have made another fun movie. 

Best Quest For Research Award – It’s a lot and not always smooth, but the facts that Origin presents are worth knowing.

Best Scotch Whisky Ordering – I really like when Emily orders a Macallan 25 in Fair Play. 

Best Scotch Drinking Award – I love The Killer, and I could watch Tilda Swinton drink whisky all day.

Best Fake Nut Allergy Award – Sick of Myself is a jet black comedy and I love how far Signe goes for attention.

Best Seann William Scott Award – WRATH OF BECKY! He’s so good. 

Best Farts in an A24 Movie Award – Dream Scenario stands alongside The Lighthouse and Swiss Army Man as an elite A24 film that features memorable flatulence. 

Best Kitchen Fight Award – The Conference features a beauty of a kitchen fight.

Best Dancing Award – Passages is an excellent film and I love when Franz Rogowski and Adèle Exarchopoulos dance.  

Best Sinking of a Kaiju Award – Godzilla Minus One is the rare kaiju movie that uses its brain and attempts to do something with the genre. 

Best 2023 Quote From a Horror Film – “They used dance against us?” Totally Killer is a lot of fun.

Best Bathtub Water Drinking – Saltburn isn’t the best, but it features a few very memorable moments and an excellent performance from Barry Keoghan. 

Best Sturgill Simpson Award – He’s really good in The Creator, but I like his performance in Killers of the Flower Moon a lot.

Best Moped Riding Award – Scooter Crowe needs to appear in more movies. He’s a hoot in The Pope’s Exorcist.

Best Fortune Cookie Opening Award – Fremont is a droll delight and I could watch Tim Heidecker open up fortune cookies all day (because he could probably only open like six of them).

Best Eyebrow Raise Award – Penélope Cruz is wonderful in Ferrari and she drops an all-time eyebrow raise.

Best Bathroom Cleaning Award – Perfect Days is delightful. Watch it. 

Best Usage of the Avril Lavigne song “Complicated” Award – Bottoms is a very funny movie. 

Best Bit About Lasagna Award – My favorite moment in No Hard Feelings involves a very funny joke about a guy named Laird. 

Best Jet Ski Action Scene Award – It makes me happy that jet ski king Jason Statham battles a large shark while riding on a jet ski in Meg 2: The Trench.

Best Roof Scene Award – May December features an all-timer roof scene between a father and his kid. 

Best Injured Bird Since The Shallows Award – Showing Up is a neat movie about art, it also features Michelle Williams nursing a pigeon back to health after her cat attacks it.

Best Crying By a Professional Wrestler Award – Zac Efron is really good in The Iron Claw. His crying will make you cry. 

Best Surly Writer Award – Christian Petzold’s latest film Afire is excellent and Leon (Thomas Schubert) might be the best surly writer of 2023. 

Best Robot Stuck on a Beach Award – Robot Dreams is my favorite animated film of 2023 and it broke my heart watching the nice robot get stuck on the beach.

Best Catastrophically Broken People Award – Scarlett Johansson and Jason Schwartzman are wonderful in Asteroid City. Their first meeting is one of my favorite 2023 scenes.

I’d Hire That Guy Award – Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant is a very good film, and I’d totally hire Ahmed (Dar Salim)

Best Horse Book Award – Barbie is wonderful, and I appreciate all the horse references in the movie.

Here are some Random Awards from the MFF crew!

Megan Hofmeyer

• When I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses I lost interest award – Barbie
• Best governmental shit. “A pimp a hoe and a drug dealer walk into a bar. If we are gonna buy into the insanity, let a pimp freshen up.” – They Cloned Tyrone
• Rosa Parks sweatshirt award -wouldn’t be sitting down right now – The Blackening
• No absolutely not award – Flora and Son
• Best package throwing – No one will save you
• Worst drones award “These drones are not very good’ – Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes 
• Best passing the banana scene – Ferrari
• Best gaggle of old ladies sniffing a suitcase – The Boy and the Heron
• Best fake kpop band and internet friends – Joy Ride
• Best Emotional Guards – Wonka
• Best destiny’s lamb chop award – Napoleon
• Stop running and let the flerkens eat you award – The Marvels 
• Get in, I have a surprise award – Poor Things
• I should have been a dancer award – The Eras Tour
• Best opera for fish and crabs – Chevalier

Aaron Neuwirth 

• The Peanuts Award for Best Use of Snoopy – Maestro
• Best Director Cameo – Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon
• Best Use of a WeWork – The Killer
• Best Use of Oversized Genitalia – Beau is Afraid
• Best Robot that Should Have Been a Linebacker in the NFL – The Creator
• Best Use of Nuclear Bomb Imagery as an Evocative Reminder of the Past – tie – Godzilla Minus One/Oppenheimer
• Best Matching of Costumes to Guns – Priscilla
• Best Axe to the Face – When Evil Lurks
• Best Road Trip – Guy Ritchie’s the Covenant
• Best Josh Hartnett Performance – Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
• Best Prison Warden – Jawan
• Best Take on the Phrase: “I’ll allow it, but I’m watching you counselor.” – The Burial
• Best Powell & Pressburger Homage – Barbie
• Best Mad Scientist – tie – Viola Davis in The Hunger Games / Laya DeLeon Hayes in The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster
• Best Conversion of a Mexican Warehouse into a Torture Chamber – Saw X
• Most Surprisingly Good Remake – River Wild

Erik Hofmeyer

• Best ill-Fated Getaway Attempt – No Hard Feelings 
• Funniest Web-Shooting – T-Rex baby arms in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

David Cross

• Most Surprising Spin Kick –  Scott Adkins in a fat suit in John Wick: Chapter 4
• Best Usage of a Potato as a Weapon – Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
• Best On-Screen use of a Vespa – Russel Crowe in The Pope’s Exorcist

Joey Lewandowski

• Best Educator – Marshawn Lynch as Mr. G in BOTTOMS
• Best Bird – The Pigeon in SHOWING UP
• Best Model 3 Generative Android – M3GAN in M3GAN
• Best Dance Scene – Margaret Qualley in SANCTUARY
• Best Retro-Future Tech – The Fingernail Machine in FINGERNAILS

Jon Sizemore

• No Hard Feelings – most unique use of a chinese finger trap
• The Killer – best product placement (Amazon drop box)
• Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning – best use of magic tricks
• Oppenheimer – best use of sunscreen
• Best use of the band Blackstreet: Leave The World BehindI had a mini meltdown when that song came on early in the film (not talking about the dance scene)

Jay Cluitt

• Best Walking Over a Big Rock: Rege-Jean Page, Dungeons & Dragons
• Worst posture: Awkwafina – Quiz Lady
• Best homage to the cliff scene in The Lost World: Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (climactic train carriage climbing)

Makes sure to listen to the MFF podcast episode we recorded to celebrate the awards!