John’s Horror Corner: Beezel (2024), a quasi-found footage, documentsry-style, monstrous witch movie.
MY CALL: This is much less a witch movie, and much more a monstrous, ogre-like hag movie. Your satisfaction will be much more visual than cerebral, as the writing could use some work to complement the solid monstrous and witchy imagery. MORE MOVIES LIKE Beezel: Well, for higher budgeted ogre-witches, consider Barbarian (2022) and Blair Witch (2016).
A quirky but very polite man, Harold (Bob Gallagher) hires documentarian Apollo (LeJon Woods; The Hangman, The North Witch, Ouija Witch) tell help him tell his story. Years ago Harold’s first wife and child were killed, found partially eaten and dismembered and covered in bite marks, and he has been scandalously presumed to be their unconvicted murderer. When Harold shares some disturbing footage of his deceased wife never seen by the police, Apollo realizes he is in over his head. But it’s already too late. Harold is a zealot in service to a generations-old monstrous witch which feeds slowly on the flesh of the living. He wasn’t the first to serve this flesh-eating hag, and he won’t be the last.
The gore is decent! Better than I expected. Some wince-worthy eyeball scenes, a head torn from its shoulders, some rough oral sex mutilation, a disturbing scene with a newborn baby… not bad.
Our monstrous crone looks pretty cool, smacking of Mag Mucklebones from Legend (1985) or the she-ogre from Barbarian (2022), and moving with a rigor-mortis-like rigidity in the legs and spine. Some of the witchy imagery is also great. We enjoy top-notch gross drooling, weird slow eye-rolling, and corpse-like staggered movement. There are some fun jumpscares as well.
This film’s better qualities are somewhat outweighed by its shortcomings in pacing, resolution, storytelling. Watching this, you repeatedly see something cool or gross or scary, get psyched and very hopeful, and never find any proper greater payoff. Things just don’t build as the filmmakers intended. This movie has some very good visuals, fewer good overall scenes, and never really finds any synthesis to make the film work. However, it’s concepts and satisfying visuals give me hope for director and co-writer Aaron Fradkin (Bloody Bites, Val) and his future work.
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MY CALL: I’m not sure if this is a “so bad it’s good” movie or more a movie that was once awesome but just didn’t age well. In either case, this is the Sci-Horror oddity equivalent of a long forgotten exhibit gathering dust in the basement of a museum—it surely deserves to be seen, but is too overshadowed by its more shiny, polished contemporary successors. MORE MOVIES LIKE Saturn 3: For more robots behaving badly, consider the delightful Sci-Horror like of Demonseed (1977), Moontrap (1989), and Virus (1999).
This movie makes its style clear right away. Geeks will enjoy visual spacescape delights, and gorehounds enjoy a man getting diced through wires while being jettisoned through an air shaft into space. One part Sci-Fi grace, one part chunky gore.
A pair of lovers and researchers Alex (Farrah Fawcett; Charlie’s Angels) and Adam (Kirk Douglas; 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Spartacus) on Saturn 3 are visited by a rigid, by-the-book official Benson (Harvey Keitel; Two Evil Eyes) to review their progress. Benson is somewhat secretive in his objectives; he makes his carnal, hedonsitic interest in Alex immediately clear; and he has brought a “demigod” robot to assist him. What could possibly go wrong?
Running on tubes of colored liquids and a core of pure brain matter, this giant robot (called Hector) is pretty snazzy for a 1980 film. Hector plays chess, performs first aid… and a gorily brutalizes Alex’s dog. More troubling, Hector actively learns from a direct brain-link to Benson, and thus Hector also is now infatuated with Alex! Yes, you read that right. The robot, which lacks genitals or an endocrine system to produce hormones, desires Alex. Oh, classic Sci-Fi, you rascal!
Trapped in their research compound with Hector, the humans must escape the station. The Star Wars-inspired special effects are solid on spaceship shots; cheap but enjoyable for planetary terrains harken closer to Doctor Who; and set design and visuals of on-ship tech is satisfyingly elaborate. Very good visuals for Sci-Fi fans abound.
Shockingly, this hidden gem was directed by Stanley Donen, who also directed your grandparents’ and great grandparents’ favorites Singin’ in the Rain (1952) and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954). Donen only ever did one genre film, and this one is a banger worth your time!
We end up with one really cool gore scene that likely inspired the likes of Moontrap (1989) and Virus (1999). Frankly, for a nearly 50-year-old Sci-Fi movie, this held up pretty well for me! I enjoyed it a lot.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 633: Star Trek Generations (1994), Boat Scenes, and Energy Fields
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
The Star Trek series continues! Mark and Niall discuss the 1994 sci-fi sequel Star Trek Generations. Directed by David Carson, and starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell, and an extra-dimensional realm, the movie focuses on what happens when two captains battle a maniac. In this episode, they also talk about boat scenes, rock fights, and odd-numbered Star Trek films. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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MY CALL: Well, at least I’m one step closer to seeing every 80s horror movie ever made. That’s about the only positive I took away from this odd horror-drama. MORE MOVIES LIKE Eternal Evil: Maybe The Skeleton Key (2005) or Get Out (2017).
TV commercial director Paul (Winston Rekert) begins having out of body experiences during his dreams after learning about astral projection from an attractive dancer Janus (Karen Black; Invaders from Mars, Children of the Night, It’s Alive III, House of 1000 Corpses, Mirror Mirror, Night Angel). During these projections he essentially haunts those he observes, including his disapproving therapist. Some of Paul’s astrally observed victims turn up mysteriously dead from macabre, rib-protruding heart attacks. Now, this may sound really cool… if only it would lead somewhere satisfying. It won’t.
Meanwhile a detective is investigating these strange deaths, researching astral projection and spiritual vampires, and interviewing academics to explore the less rational possibilities. This sounds pretty cool, but the pacing is just too slow. And when death scenes transpire, there’s not much to them. Even when Paul’s own wife dies it is about as unexciting as this movie gets.
Let’s just spoil this movie, shall we. Some body-hopping spirits have been exchanging host bodies via astral projection over time in order to live forever. Once again, this may sound pretty cool… but it’s not. It’s boring. This all builds to a conceptually wild finale with numerous deaths that is, once again, yeah… kinda’ boring.
As far as 80s horror goes, this is perfectly competently made. Even more so than most typical teen-foddered slashers or haunted mansion movies of the era. This feels like a real movie; like more of a drama even. But just not a particularly good movie by any means. This is no hidden gem, and it has nothing particularly interesting to offer. I chose to sit through it after realizing it starred Karen Black and the director (George Mihalka; My Bloody Valentine, The Psychic) of at least one good horror movie. I may not regret the experience, and now I have checked another movie off my list of “all 80s horror movies I need to watch to see them all.” But I’m definitely not recommending this either.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Final Terror (1983), Daryl Hannah and Joe Pantoliano in a B-horror movie?
MY CALL: Yeah… this was pretty boring. Not awful. But there is too much from the early 80s slasher era that is much better to recommend this. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Final Terror: For more early 80s slashers featuring stars before they were famous, try Friday the 13th (1980; Kevin Bacon), Mortuary (1983; Bill Paxton) and Amityville 3-D (1983; Meg Ryan).
A training team of park rangers is assigned a camping-work detail in the woods. With four young men (including Joe Pantoliano; Tales from the Crypt S1) and four young women (including Daryl Hannah; Blade Runner), a lot of toxic masculinity and over-bro’d-up competitiveness ensues. Tensions build, they end up stranded in the forest, people turn up dead, and they realize they need to find a way back to civilization from their very remote location.
Early scenes in this early 80s b-horror show two twenty-somethings killed by some makeshift booby traps in the forest. There’s blood, but no cuts or stabs or horror violence is depicted on-screen. Later scenes feature a classic death mid-sex-scene (but you don’t see anything interesting on-screen there either). So death scenes is definitely not a strong suit for this slasher flick. There’s also a cabin with body parts in jars, and we learn that our protagonists are being hunted by a savvy woodsman with grimy grey hair.
We can see that a lot of effort went into the writing. And it’s not bad. Good even, for an old slasher. But this flick just doesn’t stick the landing at all as a horror movie. The scares are weak to non-existent, the gore is super basic, and the deaths are generally quite uninspired. Oh, and basically nothing worth watching ever happens… like ever. The final kill was almost cool. But just almost.
The original reels of this film were nearly lost forever. And what can be watched now is a Frankensteinian-stitched salvage job of the recovered damaged reels. This old 80s slasher may not be anything special. But it does feature some before-they-were-famous stars and director Andrew Davis (The Fugitive, Under Siege, Collateral Damage), who would go on to direct several action movie greats. Really, you just watch this movie to say you watched it, and to see two young actors sharpening their acting skills early in their careers.
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Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) – Review
Grade – 3.5 Genetically Modified Dinosaurs out of 5.
Quick Thoughts:
1. Aquatic action is plentiful – I love it
2. I like how straightforward it is. People go to an island and terrible things happen
3. As always, director Gareth Edwards understands scale
4. T-Rex in the water! Mosasaurus! Spinosaurus! – I love aquatic action.
5. Depending on the day, it’s the second or third-best JP film
The best thing that can be said about Jurassic World: Rebirth is that it goes back to basics and embraces the “people getting eaten on a remote island” trope. Director Gareth Edwards (The Creator, Godzilla, Monsters) and writer David Koepp (who wrote the adapted screenplay for the OG Jurassic Park) waste no time putting its main characters on multiple boats that have them converging on an island of death. Their goal is to find the three biggest dinosaur species (land, sea, air) so they can snag DNA samples from each of them in hopes of curing heart disease (and making a lot of money). Of course, things go wrong and it leads to several fun set pieces that involve river rafts, tunnel systems, and aquatic mayhem.
The film starts off with an obligatory dinosaur attack before it heads to the real world where dinosaurs are dying off due to the earth’s inhospitality and museums are closing because nobody cares about dinosaurs anymore. We learn that the remaining dinosaurs live on isolated tropical islands near the equator – and they are left alone because visiting the island means certain death. This is where mercenary Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) comes into play. Backed by pharmaceutical representative Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), she recruits paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and retrieval expert Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali) to join on her nigh-impossible journey to the equator. On their way to death island, they pick up Reuben Delgado (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), his two daughters, and Xavier (David Lacono), the boyfriend of the eldest daughter Teresa (Luna Blaise). The four were left shipwrecked after a Mosasaurus attack left them stranded in the water.
Things get violent before they get to the island as a Mosasaurus and a pack of Spinosaurus attack Kincaid’s boat during a lengthy action scene that sees several of his crew becoming dinosaur food. It’s a fantastic scene that looks great and ends with a bit involving a camouflaged Spinosaurus that received loud applause from the audience. After the aquatic battle, the group is separated which leads to two intercutting stories and several memorable set pieces.
What separates Jurassic World: Rebirth from the latest trilogy is that the dinosaurs on the island aren’t jerks (or super-intelligent). Before Zora and her team landed on the island the dinosaurs were living their lives and the introduction of easy-to-eat prey is what kicks off the action scenes. The Distortus Rex (Rancor-looking dino) and Mutadons (basically a flying Velociraptor) aren’t treated as antagonists because they just want to snack on Scarlett Johansson. Also, the characters are much more likable than the island travelers in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park III, and the JW trilogy. It was a smart move casting Johansson, Bailey, Friend and Ali – because they are all legit actors who are given enough backstory to be interesting. You can tell that Johansson (who wanted to be in this film), Bailey (who played his clarinet during the recording of the score) and Ali love being a part of the JP franchise and their energy is infectious. The casting directors should be applauded as well because David Lacono, Luna Blaise and Audrina Miranda are likable and I found myself cheering for them while they ran away from hungry monsters.
Since the film is directed by Gareth Edwards and filmed by John Mathieson (Gladiator, Logan, Kingdom of Heaven), the movie has a large scope and the dinosaurs look hefty. Whether it’s the Tyrannosaurus Rex (who gets a great scene) or the Distortus Rex, they both look huge and menacing. Their weight and size come across on screen and it’s something the franchise has been missing. The dinosaurs are respected in Jurassic World: Rebirth, and days after watching the film they’ve kept lingering in my memory.
Jurassic World: Rebirth plays things safe and isn’t afraid of playing the hits (kid endangerment, snooty villain, island mayhem), but it does introduce interesting dinosaurs who make things unique and interesting, For example, velociraptors are largely left out of the film and are replaced by Mutadons – who are flying Velociraptors (they are great). They play well because they’re familiar but different enough to feel fresh. By keeping the plot simple, Koepp and Edwards can give their characters backstories and focus on fun set pieces that deliver the goods.
Final Thoughts – It made me very happy.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 632: Alien: Romulus (2024), Fede Álvarez, and Xenomorphs
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Norbert discuss the 2024 sequel/prequel/rebootquel Alien: Romulus. Directed by pain merchant Fede Álvarez, and starring Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson and a bunch of dad jokes, the movie focuses on what happens when a group of young people get torn to shreds by a group of angry aliens. In this episode, they also talk about Alien franchise lore, swimming facehuggers, and mean movies. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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The Spinosaurus From Jurassic Park 3 Was A Real Jerk
The triumphant return of the Spinosaurus in the Jurassic World Rebirth trailer made us reminisce about its rather comical predecessor from Jurassic Park 3.
By Erik Hofmeyer
Something in particular caught our eye in the new Jurassic World Rebirth trailer, which was a trio of Spinosauruses (or Spinosauri?). It was fun to see the Spinosaurus return after more than two decades in cinematic exile after its interesting lead role in Jurassic Park back in 2001.
You’re probably thinking “There was a Jurassic Park 3?” And yes, there was a largely forgotten third movie in 2001 to cap the original trilogy prior to the Jurassic World reboot starring Chris Pratt.
The franchise was moving away from character- and narrative-driven stories and marketing deadlier dinosaurs and more action in the sequels. Roger Ebert nailed it by writing how it’s “not as awe-inspiring as the first film or as elaborate as the second, but in its own B-movie way, it’s a nice little thrill machine.” It accomplished its summer blockbuster objective by clearing $368 million in theaters even though it was one of the lowest rated of all the Jurassic movies.
The third installment is basically a monster movie featuring a disgruntled Spinosaurus that chomped its way into the lead villainous role. It was a legit choice. The Spinosaurus had a unique set of capabilities. It was larger than the T-Rex and had arms long enough to be useful. Furthermore, it had a crocodilian-shaped head, a sweet looking sail on its back, and higher bone density for submerging into water as it enjoyed a semi-aquatic lifestyle and more avenues to attack prey.
JP3 stripped out much of what we loved in the original. For example, The OG T-Rex and velociraptors in the first Jurassic Park were legit movie stars and all-time film characters. They exhibited instinctual predator behavior that was relatively more grounded as they roamed around the island seeking sustenance. The dinosaurs were also key to the narrative as the movie was rich in symbolism. On the other hand, this particular Spinosaurus was a one-dimensional terminator that went above and beyond to be a campy horror movie villain.
Here’s a quick chronology of events:
- 3:03 We assume it was the Spino that attacked the boat in the opening scene.
- 22:01 Eats a security guard and takes out a plane on takeoff.
- 23:17 Was annoyed about being hit by the plane, follows the path of wreckage, and yoinks out the pilot with its pointy snout.
- 24:03 Roars so loudly the soundwaves push the plane out of the canopy.
- 24: 29 Unnecessarily rolls the wreckage on its side for about 10 rotations.
- 25:05 Crushes the middle of the plane to try and squish the dizzy characters.
- 26:54 Runs into a beloved T-Rex mascot and dethrones it.
- 55:34 Struck a Jason Voorhees-Esque pose after sneaking out of the dense forest without anyone noticing.
- 56:01 Narrowly missed chomping the characters as they slipped through a hole in a fence, which reminded us of near misses in the Scream movies.
- 58:15 Decided to just run through the fence like the troll from Ernest Scared Stupid.
- 1:12:57 Stalked the river boat as it traversed the island (the trip literally went from day to night) and recreated a Jaws moment with its sail emerging from the water as it attacked the boat.
After consuming more than our fair share of creature features, there’s a checklist of sorts for excessive and distracting behavior, and this Spinosaurus seems to check all the boxes:
- Pursuit across unnatural distances
- Ignoring easier or more logical prey
- Accelerated learning abilities
- Malice over instinct
- Holding a grudge against specific individuals, unless it’s Land of the Lost and the T-Rex is upset with Danny McBride for saying it had a walnut-sized brain
This got us thinking how this antagonist could have been so much better. Creature features either need to go as accurate as possible under the circumstances because more grounded threats tend to create the best tension or at least have some sliver of depth and/or personality. If this doesn’t work with the story, then just go straight-up over-the-top.
Audiences generally suspend belief as long as it’s clearly fantasy. For example, the Indominus Rex in Jurassic World was less distracting because it was a man-made hybrid dinosaur from a variety of species, which made us buy into the heightened threats. Other examples include the pure, juicy fiction of the megalodons on the loose in The Meg or the genetically modified sharks in the classic Deep Blue Sea. The JP3 writers probably should have given the Spinosaurus some kind of genetic cocktail or super soldier serum so audiences could buy-in and really enjoy the ride.
In summary
A gigantic Spinosaurus running around is pretty awesome and the CGI was impressive back in 2001. This apex predator and its jerky demeanor didn’t quite fit with the bigger Jurassic Park themes surrounding it at first, but we hope it finally earns its place in Jurassic lore.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 631: The Last Boy Scout (1991), Shane Black and Tony Scott
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Tom discuss the 1991 action comedy The Last Boy Scout. Directed by Tony Scott, and starring Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, and Halle Berry, the movie focuses on what happens when two washed up guys get into some Shane Black written shenanigans. In this episode, they also talk about Shane Black, grimy buddy comedies, and Tony Scott’s filmography. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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F1® The Movie (2025) – Review
Quick thoughts:
- Grade – B+
- Brad Pitt uses every ounce of his A-list charisma. He is great
- Between Tron: Legacy, F1 and TG: Maverick, I want Joseph Kosinski to direct a Fast and Furious movie
- Claudio Miranda’s cinematography is wonderful. It puts you in the car and the speed is felt
- It’s a fun summer blockbuster that sticks to a familiar story
- Damson Idris, Kerry Condon and Javier Bardem are wonderful
- The racing sequences are a thing of beauty
- I want to watch Driven (2001) again…
The great thing about F1 is that it knows it’s a big summer blockbuster and does everything in its power to give audiences a sensory blasting experience. When you have Brad Pitt using every ounce of his A-list charisma and state-of-the-art camera equipment, it doesn’t matter that the simple plot about a veteran driver mentoring a younger driver does nothing new or original.
The plot revolves around a former F1 driver named Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) being recruited by his friend and former racer Ruben Cervantes (Javier Bardem) to drive for his Apex Grand Prix team (APXGP). The catch is that Hayes will need to mentor a rookie driver named Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris), who has worked hard to achieve his dream of becoming an F1 racer but needs a mentor to push him towards greatness. On top of mentoring Pearce, Cervantes needs Hayes to win a race so he won’t lose his ownership stake to an overzealous board of directors led by Banning (Tobias Menzies), a super-rich maniac who loves talking about Hail Marys. Hayes and Pearce are aided by technical director Kate McKenna (Kerry Condon), and team principal Kaspar Molinski (Kim Bodnia), who are simultaneously impressed and annoyed by Hayes and his racecourse shenanigans.
Sonny Hayes is the type of guy who could have been the greatest, but a near-fatal F1 crash and an overabundance of wanderlust have pushed him to enter pretty much every single major race around the world (Dakar Rally, 24 Hours of Le Mans). Since his F1 departure he’s been married several times, visited dozens of tattoo parlors (Pitt might be the movie tattoo king), and put many miles on his camper van. Since it’s Brad Pitt, you believe that he could be pulled from a laundromat and immediately be able to drive a modern-day F1 car. Pitt has always been charismatic, but it seems like he’s channeled his characters from Ocean’s 11, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and Moneyball to create an uber-charismatic version of himself. Pitt owns the screen, and it was smart to bring in professionals like Kerry Condon, Javier Bardem, Shea Whigham, Tobias Menzie, Kim Bodnia, and Sarah Niles who can hold their own opposite him. The casting of Damson Idris (watch Snowfall) paid off as well as he matches Pitt’s likability and doesn’t get blown off the screen by Uber-Pitt.
F1 reminds me of 1990s summer blockbusters like Twister, Independence Day and Days of Thunder (also produced by Jerry Bruckheimer) in that it goes out of its way to test the limits of movie theater speakers. Whether it’s the roar of the car engines or Hans Zimmer’s bombastic score, F1 requires big speakers that make you feel each turn and crash. Its sole reason for existence is to entertain, and it’s the type of big-budget blockbuster that I want more of because it pushes the boundaries of technology and brings visual goods.
Between Tron: Legacy, Oblivion, Only the Brave, and Top Gun: Maverick (let’s forget Spiderhead) Joseph Kosinski has proven himself to be a director who makes obscenely good-looking films. Whether it’s the lightbike scenes in Tron: Legacy or the air battles in Top Gun: Maverick, Kosinski has a knack for coming up with set pieces that look amazing. Between Kosinski, cinematographer Claudio Miranda (who also shot Top Gun: Maverick), and a legion of amazing stunt drivers, they’ve created some of the most thrilling race sequences I’ve ever seen.
It’s no surprise that F1 cost somewhere around $200 million because it was filmed all over the world (during Grand Prix weekends) and the racing sequences cost millions to research and execute. Six F2 cars were purchased and rigged with camera gear (cameras, recorders, transmitters) so that audiences can see the faces of Pitt and Idris as they drive on the iconic racetracks. Pitt and Idris drove 6,000 miles during the two-year production and their hard (and fun) work paid off because their presence made the experience more credible. In a neat twist, Kosinski spent a year storyboarding the film because it was shot during live sporting events that didn’t allow for multiple setups or long takes. During the races, Pitt and Idris only had one or two takes to nail their lines during three-minute breaks in racing action – so the storyboards were important for everyone involved.
Kosinski and Miranda developed a brand new camera system with Sony to keep each camera as light as possible so they wouldn’t weigh down the F2 cars during their laps. They also added motorized mounts to each car so that the cameras could be operated by Miranda while they were driving around the tracks. On top of the technical achievements, Kosinski reached out to F1 legend Lewis Hamilton and asked him to be his partner on the production. Hamilton ended up becoming a producer on the film because he hooked up the production with drivers, team principals and much-needed credibility. The result is gorgeous to look at and feels credible due to the wild amount of cameos from F1 drivers, team owners and engineers.
Final Thoughts – F1 is big, fun and respects theatergoers who want to watch a loud summer blockbuster.
Movies, Films & Flix 