The Roses (2025) – Review
Quick Thoughts:
1. I could watch Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch insult each other all day. There’s something comforting about intelligent people being mean to each other.
2. Best whale saving scene of 2025.
3. Director Jay Roach (Meet the Parents, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery) and screenwriter Tony McNamara (The Favourite, Poor Things) are not on the same wavelength, which makes the overall experience feel disjointed.
4. It’s understandable why it doesn’t go full “caustic,” but the addition of silly characters (who seem like they should be in another movie) causes tonal whiplash.
5. As always, Allison Janney steals the show.
When I saw the trailer for The Jay Roach-directed The Roses, I was struck by the bright colors and rom-com stylings that differentiated the 2025 reimagining from Danny DeVito’s 1989 adaptation of William Adler’s 1981 novel The War of the Roses. DeVito’s film is loaded with dark humor and punctuated by Kathleen Turner’s acerbic wit and Michael Douglas’s brutal line delivery. The 1989 film gets so bleak that it becomes funny, and the final moments sell the idea that an actual war happened in the white collar household. DeVito’s film is drenched in shadows, and the beautiful house the couple lives in becomes a living nightmare. The same cannot be said for The Roses, which feels like a rom-com that met The War of the Roses and became a disjointed divorce comedy. This isn’t a bad thing because nobody wanted a shot-for-shot remake; however Jay Roach’s bright direction and Tony McNamara’s biting script don’t seamlessly blend.
The Roses justify its existence by casting Olivia Coleman and Benedict Cumberbatch as the unhappy married couple. Their chemistry is through the English-moss-covered roof, and the best decision made by Roach and McNamara was to put a lot of focus on their relationship. In the book and Devito’s film, marriage problems arise when Barbara Rose (Kathleen Turner) realizes she couldn’t care less if her husband Oliver (Michael Douglas) dies after he has a heart attack. In The Roses, Ivy (Colman) and Theo (Cumberbatch) allow 13+ years of small aggressions to slowly add up. There aren’t any sudden revelations, instead, their collapsing marriage is like watching unchecked English ivy slowly engulfing a tree.
This time, the location is swapped from Washington, D.C. to the northern coast of California, which is where Ivy (Olivia Colman) and Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch) have their battles. Ivy and Theo meet during a meet-cute in a London restaurant, and soon move to California, where Theo can pursue his dream of becoming a big-time architect. While in California, the couple has two children, and Theo makes enough money to buy a shuttered restaurant located on a piece of beautiful California coastline. The money was originally supposed to go towards their dream home, but he wants Ivy to have a place where she can work part-time and cook up delicious seafood and desserts. At first, Ivy doesn’t take her business seriously as she names her restaurant “We’ve Got Crabs” and doesn’t expect any business. The restaurant proves to be financially important when a building designed by Theo collapses during a gusty storm. Between the destruction of the building and Theo’s viral reaction, he loses his job and becomes unemployable. During the storm, Ivy’s restaurant is bombarded by stranded travelers, and her food becomes famous when a revered food critic writes a glowing review. This forces Ivy to become the family breadwinner, while Theo becomes a stay-at-home dad who turns his kids into a pair of exercise machines. From there, their marriage starts falling apart, and it leads to drugged soup, terrible dinners, and drunk arguments.
The problem with the film isn’t the whipsmart dialogue written by Tony McNamara (The Favourite, The Great, Poor Things) – a man who loves putting rich people through the wringer. There are some great jokes about two-hour circular arguments and watching two intelligent people blow up their lives because they are unable to apologize is interesting. However, The Roses never fully unleashes its thorns and is content with a few thorn pricks. An interesting aspect of The Roses is that it looks like a glossy romantic comedy. This creates tonal discombobulation as the supposedly horrible things they do to each other don’t have any weight and feel like cheeky shenanigans. For instance, there’s a moment when Theo secretly doses the “We Got Crabs” food with magic mushrooms. This leads to a restaurant full of drugged people who don’t sue the restaurant for gross misconduct. It’s a romantic comedy, so it exists in a reality with rom-com rules; however, the caustic and broad comedic elements don’t blend well. Toss in Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, Belinda Bromilow, Sunita Man, Ncuti Gatwa, Jamie Demetriou and Zoë Chao, and you have a roster of likable actors who feel like they are acting in different movies.
The Jay Roach-directed films Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and Meet the Parents went all-in on spy nonsense and peak cringe, and they both were big hits that spawned franchises. The Roses isn’t laser-forced, and instead works as a pleasant distraction involving people being terrible to each other. From a box office perspective, it’s understandable that it doesn’t lean into pitch-black humor, but by trying to make it more audience-friendly waters down the proceedings. It’s worth a watch because Colman and Cumberbatch are great, just don’t expect anything other than a mildly pleasing experience.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 644: Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Room Service, and Keanu Reeves
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Mark and Professor Mike Dillon discuss the 1995 cyberpunk action film Johnny Mnemonic. Directed by Robert Longo, and starring Keanu Reeves, Dina Meyer, Dolph Lundgren and Jones the Dolphin, the movie focuses on a mnemonic courier who loves room service. In this episode, they also talk about cyberpunk cinema, club sandwiches, and Starship Troopers.
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Star Trek: Insurrection (1998), Bad Admirals, and Holodecks
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Mark and Niall discuss the 1998 sequel Star Trek: Insurrection. Directed by Jonathan Frakes, and starring Patrick Stewart, F. Murray Abraham and lots of cosmetic surgery, the movie focuses on what happens when the Enterprise crew battle a bad admiral (AKA badmiral). In this episode, they also talk about holodecks, pimples, and metaphasic particles. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Aaron Neuwirth (@AaronsPS4 on X) draft their favorite scenes from 2013 action movies. In this episode, you’ll hear them talk about the neat action scenes in The Wolverine, Pacific Rim, The World’s End, Rush, Only God Forgives, Now You See Me, Fast & Furious 6, The Grandmaster and many more cool movies. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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Nobody 2 (2025) – Review
Nobody 2 thoughts:
- It’s a lot of fun.
- Watch “The Night Comes for Us” and “Shadow Strays.” Director Timo Tjahanto rules.
- Sharon Stone is having the time of her life
- I want more.
- 89 minutes!
- I love a good boat fight
- There’s a moment in an arcade that had the entire audience cheering. You’ll know.
One of the highlights of 2021 cinema was watching a lean-and-mean Bob Odenkirk fistfight his way through dozens of goons in the film Nobody. The $16 million budgeted film directed by Ilya Naishuller (Hardcore Henry, Heads of State) pulled in $58 million worldwide and features one of the best action scenes of this decade. The bus fight between a jacked-up Odenkirk and revered stuntmen Daniel Bernhardt and Alain Moussi is a marvel of close-quartered mayhem that showcases the skills Odenkirk acquired over years of training. Before Nobody, audiences had grown accustomed to watching Odenkirk buy well-priced speakers in Mr. Show, or wheeling and dealing his way through Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, so seeing him obliterate large men in a public transit bus was a welcome surprise.
Between the decent box office haul and near-universal praise from audiences and critics, a sequel was inevitable, and I’m happy to say that Nobody 2 is a good time. The film’s quality was never in doubt because director Timo Tjahanto (The Night Comes for Us, The Shadow Strays) is one of the most exciting directors working today and Bob Odenkirk, Sharon Stone, Connie Nielsen, RZA, Christopher Lloyd, John Ortiz, Colin Hanks, Paisley Cadorath, and Gage Munroe are all in fine form.
After the events of Nobody, former government assassin Hutch Mansell (Bob Odenkirk) is forced to pay off his debts ($30+ million) to his government handler, The Barber (Colin Salmon). To pay off his debts, he’s tasked with “auditing” targets across the country, which keeps him away from his family, who have gotten used to him not making it home for dinner. After a particularly hard job, which sees him battling Corsicans, Brazilians and other various murderers, Hutch decides it’s time for a vacation, so he packs up his family and travels to Plummerville, the home of the world’s oldest waterpark. At first, it seems like a random place to visit, but it turns out that Hutch only went on one family vacation when he was a child, and he wants to return to Plummerville because he has fond memories of the place.
Aside from hotel rooms that smell like cigars and the lack of real duck boats, the vacation goes well until Hutch’s son Brady (Gage Munroe) gets into a fight at an arcade that ends with a bouncer slapping Hutch’s daughter Sammy (Paisley Cadorath) in the back of her head. This incredibly stupid decision pushes Hutch into killer mode, and he violently assaults the bouncer and the rest of the arcade staff. The brawl puts him on the radar of a quasi-mulleted Sheriff (Colin Hanks) and local druglord/waterpark owner Henry (John Diaz), who tell Hutch to leave the town immediately. Hutch and his wife Becca (Connie Neilsen) ignore their threat and decide to keep their heads down and continue their vacation. It’s a bad idea because after a boat fight and a warehouse explosion (Hutch loves burning money), Hutch is targeted by the biblically evil Lendina (Sharon Stone), an uber-druglord who kills entire families with glee. With Hutch’s family in danger, his dad (Christopher Lloyd) and brother Harry (RZA) come to town, and it all ends with a spectacular action scene in an amusement park.
Director Timo Tjahanto calls the film a “summer rage outburst” compared to the “moody winter meditation” that was the first film. After 10+ years of moody ultra-violence, it’s fun watching Timo have fun. He and Odenkirk had a lot of discussions about the character of Hutch, and they made sure to give his family more to do so they can all grow together. The film is all about Hutch balancing work and family, while trying not to murder people who annoy him. The idea of a government assassin (who looks like Bob Odenkirk – no offense Bob), trying to subdue his killer spirit so he can exist in the real world, is very interesting, and I think the two films have expertly tackled the unique duality of Hutch Mansell.
Final thoughts – Nobody 2 is a lot of fun, and it will put a smile on many people’s faces who have gone on good/bad summer vacations.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 641: – Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), Todd Phillips, and Blank Check Movies
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and Nathan discuss the 2024 sequel Joker: Folie à Deux. Directed by Todd Phillips, and starring Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga and lots of face paint, the movie focuses on what happens when the Joker goes on trial. In this episode, they also talk about non-musicals, blank check movies, and courtroom shenanigans.
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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Baby Assassins: Nice Days (2024) – Review
Quick Thoughts:
- I love it
- It features several beautifully staged action scenes from Kensuke Sonomura
- Director Yugo Sakamoto is becoming more confident
- Saori Izawa and Akari Takaishi are the best. I want 30 more of these films
- Baby Assassins 3 features the most action in the franchise. This might disappoint fans who love watching Mahiro and Chisato being slackers
Baby Assassins 3 (or Baby Assassins: Nice Days) rules. Director/writer Yugo Sakamoto and action choreographer Kensuke Sonomura make the most of their increased budget by crafting a more action-oriented Baby Assassins film that focuses on what happens when Mahiro (Saori Izawa) and Chisato ( Akari Takaishi) are forced to battle a brutal assassin on the island of Miyazaki, Japan. The new action-first direction might annoy fans who love the slacker vibes of the previous two films, however, the new phase is smart because the professional murderers need to grow up and leave the safety of their apartment couch as they get older and become more effective murders That being said, a lot of screen time is dedicated to their friendship and the addition of two older agency assassins (Atsuko Maeda and Mondo Otani) allows them to be sassy to their elders.
After watching Mahiro and Chisato assassinate people for years (and eat food on their couch), it’s easy to forget that they are still teenagers. In the film, Mahiro celebrates her 20th birthday by drinking warm beer inside the home of one of their targets, and it’s a good reminder that they are psychopathic teenagers who became contract killers after graduating from high school a couple of years prior. Also, because their employers are worried about Japanese tax officials, the baby assassins have to work day jobs to prevent audits. Typically, forcing legit maniacs to blend into modern Japanese society isn’t wise, but it’s what makes the franchise great. In Baby Assassins 3, it’s fun watching them battle more experienced villains and teaming up with adult assassins who are flummoxed by their teenage coworkers.
The villain in the film is Kaede Fuyumura (Sosuke Ikematsu), an assassin who is close to completing a years-long assignment that saw him murdering 150 people. Before he can kill his final victim, Mahiro and Chisato interrupt the milestone and a beautifully staged battle takes place in the hallways and offices of a government building. The highlight of the action scene is a fight between Mahiro and Kaede that shows what happens when two elite Japanese assassins engage in hand-to-hand combat (some gun stuff is thrown in as well). The two actors bring it, and their 5-minute battle is a marvel of action choreography, inventive staging and lightning-quick strikes.
In the script stage, Kaede wasn’t too violent, but Sakamoto, a fan of violent movies, went overboard and created a maniac while filming. What’s nice is that Kaede never earns sympathy, but you understand his character via flashbacks and his interactions with the equally deadly Mahiro. There’s a moment when he’s waiting for a kill order, and he spends the time hitting a punching bag while the victim lies tied up on the floor next to him. It’s a startling image, which is surprising because despite all the carnage in the franchise, it’s never been something cruel. With villains like Kaede, the two baby assassins need to grow up because as they make their way up the hitperson ladder, their competition gets much deadlier.
Final thoughts – Baby Assassins 3 is one of the best action films of recent memory, and the 13-minute final fight in an abandoned warehouse is one of the best fights of the decade.
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Weapons (2025) – Review
Quick Thoughts:
- Zach Cregger is the best. His follow-up to Barbarian (2022) is an ambitious crowd-pleaser.
- Josh Brolin, Julia Garner, Cary Christopher, Alden Ehrenreich, Austin Abrams, Benedict Wong, and Amy Madigan understood the assignment and delivered fun performances
- Cinematographer Larkin Seiple (Swiss Army Man, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Beef) will hopefully be remembered come awards time.
- Cregger loves a creepy house.
- Don’t watch any trailers, stay away from spoilers and go into the movie with zero idea of what’s going to happen (after reading this spoiler-free review).
- Don’t be annoyed if it doesn’t surprise you as much as Barbarian. Barbarian came out of nowhere and had the luxury of not having much hype or anticipation.
Weapons is great because it’s ambitious, fun, and proves that writer/director Zach Cregger can go big. Much like Jordan Peele, Julia Ducournau, Coralie Fargeat, Parker Finn, Ari Aster, Robert Eggers and the Philippou brothers, Cregger used the success of his first horror film to craft a technically ambitious follow-up that doesn’t disappoint. It’s fun watching Cregger become more confident behind the camera while still understanding what made Barbarian (2022) so great (it’s an audacious and unpredictable experience).
Weapons revolves around the sudden disappearance of 17 elementary school kids and the effect it has on a small community. There are no clues, witnesses or a clear motive, so the cops and local authorities come to a standstill. The only facts they know are that the children were in the same class taught by a new teacher, Justine Gandy (Julia Garner), and 17 of the 18 kids woke up at 2:17 a.m. on the same morning and ran out of their houses towards an unknown location. Spoiling anything more wouldn’t be cool, just know that the film skips around between a teacher Justine), a bereaved father (Josh Brolin), a local cop (Alden Ehrenreich), a junkie (Austin Abrams) and a school principal (Benedict Wong) who all are dealing with the aftermath of the mysterious tragedy differently (or not at all). Like Barbarian, the film is broken up into multiple chapters, and a lot of credit needs to go to editor Joe Murphy (Barbarian, Swallow) for successfully tying together multiple storylines into a coherent and enjoyable manner.
What I like most about Weapons is how the characters are given time to become interesting people. After Julia Garner was wasted in Wolf Man (2025), it’s fun watching her play a complex character who loves her students but can’t stop crossing boundaries. She spends most of the film being shot in profile, and she has excellent chemistry with Ehrenreich, Brolin and Wong. The central actors must’ve been a fan of Barbarian, because you can tell that they enjoy being in this film and relish their opportunity to be serious, silly and scared stupid
The story behind Weapons is interesting because of how quickly it came together (and was hit by multiple roadblocks). Cregger needed years to fine-tune the Barbarian screenplay (while looking for funding), but Weapons poured out of him after the sudden death of one of his closest friends. After the tragedy, Cregger parked himself in his garage/laundry room (where he also wrote Barbarian) and started writing his “epic” script. Drawing inspiration from the Paul Thomas Anderson-directed Magnolia (1999), Weapons is an ensemble piece that’s simultaneously funny and melancholic. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, he uses the word “bigger” three times in one paragraph, and he isn’t wrong. The good news is that the bigger plot doesn’t create an unwieldy mess. The film is easy to follow and there are several very funny moments that blend well with the melancholic story. Like Barbarian, there are moments in Weapons that made the audience erupt in laughter, which is impressive for a film about the disappearance of children.
The cinematography from Larkin Seiple (Swiss Army Man, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Beef) is fantastic, and I love the way he shoots the characters in profile and his wide shots are a thing of beauty. When awards season rolls around, I hope people remember his work because it’s perfect.
Between Barbarian and Weapons, Cregger has found a way to combine comedy with terror in a way that doesn’t grind the film to a stop. This partly comes from his experience with The Whitest Kids You Know sketch comedy troupe, but comedy sketches and 128-minute films are a different beast. There are violent moments in Weapons that are genuinely hilarious (it features the best person being thrown around moments of 2025), and the punchlines never halt the narrative. It’s also interesting how Cregger creates vast amounts of tension and then drops a joke to relieve the tension. This may annoy people looking for a 128-minute tension bomb, but his brand of “tense and release” works for me.
Final thoughts – Watch it in theaters.
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Mark and Norbert draft their favorite movie jerks from films like Hall Pass (2011), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Aliens (1986), 12 Monkeys (1995) and Hereditary (2018). If you’re a fan of cinematic jerks you’ll love this episode!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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Warning – Spoilers – Barbarian rules and I recommend you watch it before reading this dumb movie data article.
Once again – Spoilers
I love Barbarian. It’s hilarious, stressful, scary, unpredictable and pretty much every other complimentary word I can think of. Shea Serrano recently watched it for the first time and posted about it on his Good Movie Substack page and it reminded me of a moment in the film when a character named AJ (Justin Long) discovers a labyrinthian basement and tunnel system underneath one of his rental properties in Detroit. Instead of being scared, he’s over-the-moon and immediately starts researching whether it adds to the square footage of the property. Sadly, it doesn’t, but “it can be noted separately in the listing’s total area (yeah…b**ch).” Shortly, after learning this, he finds a tape measure and starts measuring the square footage of the subterranean torture tunnels. He doesn’t get to finish the measurements because horrible things happen, so I decided to analyze the movie and figure it out for him. Here’s what I did
- Rewatched the movie
- Listened to the director’s commentary (very helpful) and watched the behind the scenes docs.
- I also used a tape measure at certain moments to figure out house length (when compared to the 6’2 Richard Brake).
- I analyzed rectangular pallet length, counted stairs, and figured out step counts
- Counted how steps the characters walked, then I walked the same amount and measure the distance
- Drew a color-coded visual
- Did it all again because I’m a maniac
- Collected timestamps
- I researched the production – Zach Kuperstein’s Instagram page was very helpful because it provided me with a nice layout of the area.
Quick Note – Yes – I put way too much work into getting the numbers because these posts only work when they are wildly detailed. I can’t stand lazy numbers or guestimates pulled from nowhere, so I always make sure to base my numbers on something tangible and researched. There’s no way to get a 100% correct estimate, but I tried my best!
Several Assumptions
- With a trial looming, AJ is going to need $140,000 for legal fees. Since he has no new money coming in, I am 100% certain that he was going to measure every inch of the basement. It doesn’t matter if it’s not on his property, he seemed hellbent on getting the numbers.
- I initially thought AJ was using a 25-foot tape measure. However, when he measures the distance between two rooms (01:04:00 – Cage Room to Mother’s Room) he takes close to 38 steps (of varying distance) which would max out the 25 feet. So, I have to assume he has a 50-foot tape measure. It’s too small to be a 50-foot tape measure, but it’s a fictional world where tape measure logistics are different
- Doug’s (Frank’s neighbor) house doesn’t have a basement. Only 33% percent of homes in Wayne County (where Detroit is located) have basements – so I feel pretty good about this assumption. I say this because of tunnel setup, there can’t be a basement
- In the commentary, Zach (with some uncertainty) says 150 meters of tunnels were built for the production, (01:03:10). My numbers are close but they don’t reach the 150 meter mark. So, I decided to use my numbers and calculations.
- During the commentary, Zach is adamant that the staircase is 30 meters long (00:40:00), but I only counted 27 steps. The math doesn’t add up. I’m not saying he’s wrong, I just like using numbers I can vouch for.
- They used Zeiss Supreme Prime lenses that exaggerate the space. It may make the rooms seem larger than they are.
To get to the total, I’ll start with the rooms (and the hole in the ground).
There are five rooms in the underground tunnels
- Video Camera Room
- Cage Room
- Mother’s Room (with the TV)
- Hole in the ground – Prisoner holding
- Frank’s Room
Video Camera Room – 108 square feet. After measuring the room, AJ says to himself “This comes in at 9 by 12.” (01:02:20) The average guest room in the US is 120 square feet, so I feel good about this number.
Cage Room – 104 square feet – There are four rectangular pallets in the room (01:03:25). They are typically four-feet long,. Based on the way they are placed in the room, I was able to get a solid estimate.
Mother’s Room – 108 square feet – I went with 9 by 12 based on the length of the bed and location of the television (01:04:25).
Hole in the Ground (Prisoner Holding) – 36 Square Feet – There isn’t much room to maneuver in the hole – so six by six works for me. Also, based on a few photos I saw on Instagram, the estimate seems right (01:14:00)
Frank’s Room – 144 square feet – Based on research of similar military-style beds (they’re typically a little over 6-feet long), I calculated the room to be around 12 x 12 (01:21:39).
Total Square Footage of Underground Dungeon Rooms (and hole in the ground) – 500 Square Feet
Hallway to stairs leading further underground – 120 Square Feet – (01:02:15) – based on the amount of steps I feel safe saying the hallway is about 25 to 30 feet. Also, in the script (page 41), it says “it seems to go on for some 25 feet at least.” Later In the script (page 75) Cale (switched to AJ) says the hallway is “30 by 4.”
Staircase – 115 square feet – If there are 27 steps, the math comes out to 115 Square Feet (based on tread depth, riser height, and stair width).
Bottom of Stars to Cage Room – 131 square feet – It’s about 10 feet to the metal door (after the stairs end), and this is where AJ starts his measurements. I went 22.75 feet. This guess makes sense because it took Georgina Campbell (who is 5’6) 10 steps to reach the room. (01:03:20).
Quick Note – In the script (page 75), when he gets to the bottom of the stairs he measures the width of the hallway and says “Four Feet.” I’m going with a width of four feet for the hallway.
Cage Room to Mother’s Room – 182 square feet – AJ takes 23 tiny backward steps before he stops and sees light coming from Mother’s room (01:04:00). I retraced his steps and covered 16.5 feet. Then. He then takes about 18 steps toward the room which is around 29 feet (I took 18 steps and measured them. It’s close).
Mother’s Room to the End of the Tunnel (it branches off left and right) – 240 Square Feet – AJ runs/jogs for 8 seconds (01:05:07) before he has to make a decision whether he should go left or right. Based on a similar running speed he covered close to 60 feet during his eight-second jog.
Quick Note – After Tess escapes the hole in the ground, she makes it to Mother’s room much faster than AJ (01:16:16 – She takes about 12 steps from the bell). The two distances don’t match, so I went with the longer running scene. Also, while Tess is walking to Mother’s room, there’s a cut, so it might’ve skipped a bunch of steps to make things zippier. Last thing, shortly after AJ escapes the room he needs 17 steps to get to the bell. The numbers are all over the place, so I trust the straightforward running scene.
AJ Takes a Left and Falls Into a Hole – 250 square feet – AJ runs for three seconds before dropping his flashlight (01:05:15). He crawls backward for several seconds, and runs for 4 seconds before falling into the hole in the ground.
AJ Gets to the Bell and Takes a Right Towards Frank’s room – 288 Square Feet – This one is tricky, AJ walks for a total of 16 seconds (I only counted on-screen walking) before he stops and sees Mother lurking in the tunnels. When he turns around, he’s about seven feet from Frank’s door (01:19:02).
Conclusion – If AJ has been able to complete his measurements, he would’ve come up with a total of at least 1,826 square feet (169.641 square meters). This number isn’t exact, but based on an absurd amount of research (and measuring my steps), I’m happy with it.
Here’s the twist!
I’ve mapped out the tunnel system and it expands well past AJ’s property line, so he’d only be able to add part of the first tunnel and camera room. Based on the property lines, and distance between the homes, it’s about 77 square feet that could be added to the total listing area. This is an inflated number for sure, but AJ would give it a shot.
Movies, Films & Flix 