Martha Marcy May Marlene
Mesmerizing, haunting and tense. Martha Marcy May Marlene is a fantastic debut for director Sean Durkin and star Elizabeth Olsen.
Olsen is incredibly watchable with her unique features and ability to quickly yet subtlety float between naivety, anger, paranoia and girlishness. You never feel like she is acting. It doesn’t feel like some actress pouting in front of the camera whilst the director pans slowly over a wide shot. Olsen’s Marcy May is a person who is smart enough to escape a cult but still shell-shocked by all the things she has seen. Imagine harboring the verbal and mental scars of two years of horror while trying to act normal at a swanky dinner party. She needs her family but they don’t understand her because she doesn’t know how to communicate years of insanity and brain washing.
The film draws you in by being compulsively watchable. Your eyes are drawn to the screen due to Olsen’s natural performance and John Hawkes increasingly threatening character. He is an ultra skinny alpha male who has a way with words to mask the venom and insanity flowing through his blood stream. He is the type of man who will do something terrible to you then convince you that it was good for you. Everytime he is on-screen you realize this man could take confused homeless youth and turn them into his followers. Hawkes manages to be insane without acting crazy. The fact that this willowy man becomes a threatening force is a credit to the writing and acting.
The film feels natural without being pretentious. It creates dread without scaring you. It shocks you without being graphic. Watch this movie in a dark room with the phone off. You will be doing yourself a big disservice if you don’t give it all your attention.
The only complaint I have is the eating and drinking sound effects. The beer drinking is accompanied with loud fake slurps and the eating is very squishy. When you are immersed in a world there is nothing worse than slurps and squishes.
Watch Martha Marcy May Marlene. Butcher the title multiple times. Love the fact that there are engrossing movies like this.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: AVP/AVPR/Predators
These three movies hold a special place in my heart. They’ve taught me that even the best ideas can be screwed up. All three of them featured spectacular ideas that couldn’t be capitalized on because they forgot to create likable characters. For instance, Predators (read the review) focused on a bunch of tough bland people being sent to a planet to be hunted. The movie lacked any suspense and featured Adrien Brody speaking like he had gravel in his mouth and was coming off a severe sore throat
AVPR brought back the R rating but the dialogue and characters were so poorly realized you had to laugh. You couldn’t appreciate the Alien/Predator hybrid that was running amuck because you were two busy scratching your head at the dumbness of it all.
I would love to teach a class about these bad films because every ingredient was in place. Every measurement was perfect, the oven was preheated to perfection and a fool-proof timer was set.. However, something strange happened in the oven. Something unexplainable.
I would love to write a syllabus on the badness of these films. Chapter one would be entitled “Weyland’s Folly.”
When I was at FSU I watched AVP with my friend 9.5 (he said he was a 9.5 out of 10 on the good-looking scale) and his brother Legs (looked like a barbarian…shaved his legs) We would laugh at the ineptitude and shared many inside jokes that would annoy casual acquaintances. Eight years later we still quote one line from this film.
“Don’t turn your back on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
This is the best scene in a movie full of bad (in a great way) moments. Weyland’s folly refers to the most unnecessary cheap shot in the history of film. If you’ve followed the AVP series you will know that Lance Henriksen played the cyborg Bishop in the classic Aliens. In this film you see him before he becomes a cyborg. In AVP he is a billionaire who has the sweetest inhaler ever.
He leads an expedition to Antarctica where they get stuck in a large pyramid where predators hunt aliens. Things go bad and everybody dies. One of the victims is Mr. Henrikson.
This is how it goes down. A predator grabs Weyland and scans his guts to check his health. The monster sees that Lance is ridden with cancer so he lets him live. Weyland is put down gently and the predator starts walking away. However, when the dreadlocked creature is several steps away Lance tries to light it on fire.
When Lance unleashes the flame you think it will be a huge blast that will incinerate the unsuspecting creature. However, when the flame hits the predator it simply wipes it off. Lance quickly gets stabbed by a large blade and the monster walks away saddened.
This epic moment was so un-epic that it became epic. The predator was going to let him live and got second degree burns for being nice.
These three movie are much like the Weyland Folly. They could have lived and planned out a better attack. However, they ignored all logic and went straight to futility.
Next week we will cover Chapter two. I will call it “PG-13?”
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Big Budget Bonanza: Snow White and the Huntsman
Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1, 2012)
A morose Kristen Stewart picks up a steel sword and battles an evil queen while an odd posing huntsman attempts to woo her via strategic hunting techniques.
I don’t know much about this film but the cast intrigues me. Any movie that can gather Stewart, Hemsworth, Theron, Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Ian McShane and Eddie Marsan must have something going for it. We are at least guaranteed good acting in a bad movie.
This movie is the “huh?” film of 2012. Who pitched this? Who thought Stewart could be a believable action star? Why did Hemsworth trade a hammer for an axe? Will the apple be red or green?
Why you should see this: Strange casting and the wonderment of whether or not Stewart can pick up a steel sword is worth the watch. Also, Hemsworth and Theron make anything watchable. This is big budget film that will look great and potentially be a fun Medieval popcorn flick. An added bonus is that it will be dueling with the cheeky Snow White movie Mirror Mirror.
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Wanderlust
Wanderlust is all over the place. It is like a roller coaster twisting between the absurd and the predictable. It works best when it is exploring the multiple zany characters that exist in David Wain’s (Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models) world.
The film focuses on two uptight/unemployed New Yorker’s who start living in an intentional community (AKA Hippie Commune). The residents are all kooky and the concept of doors is nonexistent to them.
The movie doesn’t work when it is exploring whether or not Rudd and Aniston should be monogamous amidst the hippies. The plot goes off course and delivers 20 minutes of Paul Rudd improvisation. Normally, I’m all for Ruddisms but it seemed to slow the plot.
You love the crazy characters that exist in Wain’s films. This movie doesn’t disappoint. Ken Marino and his wife Michaela Watkins steal the show as Rudd’s brother and sister-in-law. Their house is an example of perfect set decoration. It is full of DVDs, Televisions, BBQs and Margarita mixers. You can tell Marino wrote the script because his character gets the best moments in the film.
The reason to watch this film is for the little character moments. Whether they are driving cars into ponds, writing books about Washington D.C. or hating Paul Rudd’s guitar solos. However, The overall plot is extremely thin and predictable to a fault. When it sticks too closely to the familiar it loses the unique charm of a Wain joint.
I am a big time David Wain fan. Wet Hot is a miracle of randomness and Role Models created a rare blend of funny and likable characters amidst a world of larking (fake medieval warfare).
This film shows he is more confident behind the camera but it also proves he needs a few more films to blend the random with the normal.
Watch Wanderlust. Dig the characters. Learn that it is easy to get your car in a lake.
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Big Budget Bonanza: The Hunger Games
The Hunger Games (March 23, 2012)
Goodbye Bella. Hello Katniss!
The Most Dangerous Games + No Escape + The Running Man + Good Teen Drama = The Hunger Games
I am stoked to see this movie. My girlfriend read the three book series in one week and she filled me in on the plot while driving to Florida. I love the plot, Jennifer Lawrence is a perfect choice for Katniss and the cast and set design look great. This is a neat story that hopefully will erase the taste of Twilight from everyone’s minds.
The midnight pre-sale screenings have already broken sales records. Which is encouraging. The Hunger Games is a unique story that should be rewarded with an international fanbase. This movie looks to get it right.
An added bonus is that Woody Harrelson wears a crazy wig.
I still have a hard time believing that fans of the book complained about the casting of Jennifer Lawrence (X-Men First Class, Winters Bone). Lawrence has proven capable of playing strong young adults who are sassy and smart.
Why you should see it: The books are loved and the story is intriguing. Also, the movie needs to make a lot of money to warrant a sequel.
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Big Budget Bonanza: G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation
G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation (June 29, 2012)
Many people disliked the G.I. Joe movie that came out a few years ago. The general thought was that it was CGI dumb and it was lampooned for its marketing push around Sienna Miller’s costume. I understand all of the complaints but for some reason my brain was able to turn off its “logic, intelligence and rational thinking” synapses. I enjoyed the movie despite all of its flaws. It was popcorn entertainment that I didn’t expect to be good.
This new G.I. Joe seems leaner, meaner and kills off almost all the original characters and brings back some from the dead. Director Jon. M Chu must have seen Byung-Hun Lee in I Saw the Devil and requested him back as a sweaty Storm Shadow.
The wisest addition to the cast is The Rock. He is guaranteed sequel gold (Fast Five, Journey 2). I’m also stoked to see Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) and Joseph Mazzelo (The Pacific). They will bring a healthy dose of acting and karate chops.
From what I gather from the trailer is that COBRA is kicking ass and a few badass Joes have to fight back. This will be no easy task because they will have to defeat tough guy extraordinaire Ray Stevenson and his masked minions.
The trailer did a great job of showing a grittier plot and rocked a thumping White Stripes techno remix of Seven Nation Army. Watch for the random Bruce Willis cameo in which he does that face when he shoots a gun. I’m wagering Joe 2 is going to be a decent popcorn flick that will improve upon the original.
Why you should see it: The Rock + Bruce Willis = a new and improved G.I. Joe that ditches the dumb for a slightly less dumb.
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Big Budget Bonanza: Marvel’s The Avengers
Marvel’s The Avengers (May 4, 2012)
“We are not a team. We are a time bomb.” Bruce Banner (Cue the Beck soundtrack)
After what feels like 70 years in the making The Avenger’s will finally be on the big screen. Joss Whedon takes the directing duties of this massive film and looks to have it all figured it.
Whedon has gone on record saying that the film’s perspective will come from Captain America’s. Originally, Downey Jr. wanted to be the central character but the plot and script couldn’t be worked out. By putting Captain America front and center it will keep the viewpoint from being too familiar. Also, I’m stoked to see the main bad guy is the incredibly dangerous Loki. The big surprise is who Loki uses to help him dominated the world. Who will he recruit? Aliens, Vikings or Viking aliens?
Sam Jackson FINALLY after years of putting a team together in the ending credits gets to unleash his team of super heroes to save the earth, pose and quip aplenty.
Here is the new trailer that hit the web yesterday. It looks expensive, thrilling and the flying alien ships look straight out of Transformers 3
Why you should see it: This is one of the most expensive films ever made that has been years in the making. Can all the celebrities work as an ensemble? Will RDJ work well with others? This film is a huge gamble that could decide super hero movies for years to come. Sounds like fun to me!
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Tower Heist
Tower Heist will be played on TNT, FX and TBS for years to come. It is one of those movies that provides decent background filler. There is a little bit of humor, theft and intrigue. It is watchable but not good. The plot does not need to be followed too closely. Plus, it answers some very interesting questions about expensive cars and elevators.
Roger Ebert sums this film up perfectly:
“This movie would fall to pieces if it didn’t hurdle headlong through its absurdist plot without ever pausing for explanations.”
When I first heard about the cast Brett Ratner was assembling (Rush Hour 1-54) I was stoked and worried. How could a movie with Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Tea Leoni, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena, Casey Affleck and Alan Alda be bad? The problem is that they are not given room to make their characters real. The only person who gets the good lines is Eddie Murphy. Murphy’s facial expressions are fun and he gets the best quip”I will blow your face off your face!”
Michael Pena who was the best part of Observe and Report and 30 Minutes or Less gets a couple decent moments involving ski caps and Burger King. Broderick looks worried. Affleck isn’t smart, Alda is a prick, Leoni is feisty and Stiller is Stiller.
The movie focuses on a group of New York employees who work in the fictional “The Tower.” Alan Alda swindles all their money and they plan a heist. The heist is incredibly implausible and it features events that defy logic and gravity. However, as Ebert pointed out there is never an explanation for how a car ends up in an elevator. They never attempt to explain how it would work….so, it actually works. This movie plows ahead and it makes the logic gaps excusable.
Tower Heist is not a good film. However, it tries to be a nice straight forward heist film that doesn’t offend with lowest common denominator jokes. The film may be simple but I don’t think it ever wanted to be complicated.
Sit back. Relax. Don’t think. Put this movie on and do something around the house.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: The Double
The Double has been made 50 times before. Two FBI guys defined by their hair have to track an implausibly good assassin. The two agents are Richard “silver fox” Gere teaming up with a Topher “hair gell” Grace.
What is their mission? The retired guy and the “librarian” have to hunt down the greatest killer in the history of the world.
Cassius the killer is a ghost that ghosts are afraid of. Cassius walks on raindrops and disappears into thin air. His motives are studied and killing methods revered. He is a mystery…an unknown force…..UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHO IS IN THE PREVIEW.
Who is this famous killer of killers. It is none other than Mr. Gere himself.
Richard Gere plays the frustratingly good killer Cassius. Half man…..Half ice…..All hair. There is a scene in the film when he executes an assassination so perfectly it leaves you annoyed. The only way this kill could have happened is if 1,000 pieces fell together at the same time. Gere times the throat slit perfectly in a crowded street then walks away while people are looking at something else.
Take a look at this picture. He timed another kill perfectly between roving security cameras. He shouldn’t be called Cassius. He should be named Rolex (because of his timing and the fact that he hides the sharp wire in his watch). I’m surprised he didn’t kill the guy than revive him. Then, when the guy was healing in a hospital he’d kill him again and put him back in the original crime scene.
Who is Gere’s biggest foe. It is Topher Grace. His character knows everything about Cassius. Which provides for unintentionally funny scenes where Gere reacts to all the correct assumptions. Topher says Cassius drinks Scotch when Gere asks for scotch. Topher says Cassius returns to crime scenes and Gere is at the crime scene. You keep waiting for the lightbulb to go off in Grace’s head but it never does…..Until the end when you find out he is a Russian spy who was sent to flush out Cassius.
The Double lacks humor, tension and receding hair lines. I know both Topher and Gere are solid actors so I was mystified at the lack of anything. It is a bland film that needed Chris Klein’s character from Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (Read the Bad Movie Tuesday review). In that film Klein’s character Nash is hunting down the best criminal in the world. Nash is borderline insane, slightly dumb and highly entertaining. To see him paired with Gere would have been hilarious.
Sidenote: Nash would not make this movie good. However, he would make it entertainingly bad. Which is better than boring.
Between this movie and Salt I’m worried about how many Russian spies there are in the United States. If these movies are correct 1 out of 5 CIA/FBI agents are undercover Russians who do not know that there are other undercover Russians. That would actually be a very funny satire. Dr. Stangelove 2?
In the world of Bad Movie Tuesday I believe this movie was made because Richard Gere was angry he wasn’t the assassin in The Jackal. So, he found a director and had him make the movie.
Gere: In this scene I want to kill 17 people by just looking at them.
Director: I liked you better as a pacifist.
Do not watch The Double. Watch the preview instead. Imagine Nash chasing Cassius.
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Big Budget Bonanza Part 1
2012 has been good to movies. The Grey, The Devil Inside, Chronicle and The Woman in Black, The Vow, Safe House and Ghost Rider 2 have performed well and lifted the box office total to unexpected heights.
Many people scoff at big budget summer films. However, people forget that the classic Jaws (my favorite movie) was the original summer blockbuster. When a big budget movie works it can be a marvelous spectacle.
Now that the Superbowl premiered the teaser trailers you are going to be blasted with previews and advertisements. I’m going to investigate these films to see if they are worth your time.
John Carter (March 9, 2012)
Of all the big budget films coming out this year I’m most curious about John Carter. It has a huge budget and is not a sequel. Carter is a HUGE gamble and that is why I like it. This movie has been five years in the making and cost $250 million.
John Carter of Mars is a big budget adaptation of the famous graphic novel written by Edward Rice Burroughs. John Carter has influenced Star Wars, Avatar and many other popular science fiction films. What I’m worried about is that people will say it is a “rip off” when it has influenced everything.
The movie features Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights) and is directed by Andrew Stanton (Wall-E). So, the film has a solid unknown actor and a director who made his name in animated Pixar films.
My prediction is that John Carter will be a hit. Disney has already green lit a sequel and Brad Bird (The incredibles) just made Tom Cruise relevant again so I’m betting Stanton will provide a similar visual spectacle.
The best shot this film has is by word of mouth. If Stanton is correct the movie will make its budget back and more. The movie also has a strong international push due to the CGI and fantasy elements which worked for the Transformers series. One problem is that the previews do not make the story line clear. There was a big buzz via movie bloggers about this fan made trailer that did a much better job than Disney’s current marketing.
Mondo also created a neat looking poster to celebrate the world of John Carter.
I can’t wait to see if this gamble pays off.
Battle Ship (May 18, 2012)
This film is another big question mark. A board game adapted into a $200 million dollar movie action bonanza.
Taylor Kitsch (John Carter) stars in another summer blockbuster. Kitsch reunites with director Peter Berg (Run Down, Friday Night Lights, The Kingdom) to blow up enemy aliens. I’m convinced this movie will be fun. Hasbro is marketing it as a Transformers like film and Berg is an incredibly gifted director who makes smart action and creates likable characters.
The biggest problem this film has to be the title. To invest $200 million in a board game adaptation is tricky. The thing I’m excited for is that I don’t think the previews give away everything. I think this will be a loud, fun and exciting film that is full of surprises.
An added bonus is that it features Liam Neeson as a cranky general.
Wrath of the Titans (March 30, 2012)
The remake of Clash of the Titans was solid but unspectacular. This new film looks to have gotten it right. The film looks bigger, badder and hairier.
Director Jonathan Liebesman (Battle Los Angeles) was brought in to add some more chaos and spice to the world of titans, demigods and lava giants.
Sidenote: I thought the Kraken was bad but imagine having to fight a Kraken made of lava. There is absolutely no way to win that fight. Sam Worthington already beheaded Medusa so the only thing that can save the world is Tommy Lee Jones. If you remember Jones bested a volcano in Los Angeles.
Wrath also upgrades Andromeda by recasting the role with Rosamund Pike. She should add a solid acting premise amidst the chaos.
The plot focuses on the released Titans that run amuck while Sam Worthington yells a lot. The remake had a surprisingly straight forward plot that kept it afloat and fun. I’m hoping this new one keeps to the script and doesn’t become too bombastic and incoherent. All this film needs is a defined plot and lots of titan mayhem.
Sam Worthington yell prediction: 900 times.
Another added bonus is uber bearded Liam Neeson!
Movies, Films & Flix 