MY CALL: I mean, it’s okay. If you’re like me and you wanna’ see basically every 80s horror movie, this one is not likely to be regretted nor lauded. There’s just enough action, just enough gore, just enough silly gags to keep my attention span afloat. MORE MOVIES LIKE Primal Rage: Primates were pretty popular around this time—check out Monkey Shines (1988) and Shakma (1990).
While striving to develop the greatest breakthrough in modern medicine, a scientist at a Florida university accidently creates a rage virus while experimenting on baboon brains… while the baboons are alive. Sounds like a future founder of the Umbrella Corporation or perhaps a past researcher on the team behind The Crazies (1973, 2010).
Never heard of this film. And when I’ve never heard of an 80s movie, I usually assume (and more often than not, correctly so) that it’s pure drivel—even if often deliciously bad. But as far as filmmaking and production value goes, this movie opens with a promising campus-life montage and surprisingly capable acting.
College journalist Sam (Patrick Lowe) plans to break into an on-campus animal-testing lab to get a story. Sam’s friend breaks in (on Sam’s behalf), is bitten by a test subject baboon, and gets sick. The virus spreads by bite… and even by first date hickey. Victims become wildly violent and ill-tempered. Their skin looks sickly with lesions and boils, they drool, they become stronger from the adrenaline rush, they become furiously homicidal—everything you’d expect from a rage virus movie. They even get somewhat zombie-ish. Before 28 Days Later (2002), Resident Evil (2002) and The Sadness (2021), there was Primal Rage with its much lower budget 80s rage virus.
Trying to solve this problem, Sam teams up with his love interest Lauren (Cheryl Arutt) and her roommate Debbie (Sarah Buxton; Nightmare Beach).
The special effects of this movie are nothing special. Not terrible by any means, but clearly budget limited and not trying to make waves with wild death scenes. Sure, there’s blood and drooling and strangling. Still nothing particularly titillating transpires on screen. A zombie grabs a victim by the hair and rip-scalps him, another rips the skin off someone’s hand, and another rips out someone’s throat. But you see so little and so briefly, these scenes lack any impact. Still, the movie is trying and you feel that. It’s not so bad really. The groaty monstrous face makeup is consistently gross, there’s plenty of blood along with some silly gags, a hilarious falling death and a silly crushing death, and there was a nice decapitation. When a baboon is hit by a car, the visual effects are ridiculous. Best part of the movie for me.
Not so rare for 80s movies, but a small warning. The movie includes some very toxic masculinity, violence against women, sexual assault, attempted rape, and other unsavory social content. None of it comes to strong fruition or becomes graphic on screen. But it’s there.
In the end, Sam and Lauren kill all those infected and go about their business like pretty much nothing happened. See what happens when you perform inhumane science experiments on animals? I’m looking at you, scientists!
This is a light, easy going but still mildly gross and bloody horror entry. Recommended for major fans of 80s horror. This is no hidden gem or must-see. But it’s a breezy watch even if absent of gee-wow horror effects or inspired death scenes.
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Mark and Jonny Numb (@JonnyNumb on Twitter) talk about their favorite cinematic chainsaw fights in movies like White Fire, Mandy, 31, Maximum Risk, Motel Hell and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Enjoy!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 512 – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Nicolas Cage and Shoe Swapping
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Mark and Niall (@elniallo on Twitter) discuss the 2022 action comedy The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Directed by Tom Gormican, and starring Nicolas Cage, Pedro Pascal, Sharon Horgan, and a lot of movie memorabilia, the movie focuses on what happens when Nicolas Cage becomes a CIA operative. In this episode, they also talk about shoe swaps, calamari, and the greatness of Mandy (2018). Enjoy!
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John’s Horror Corner: Malum (2023), this incredibly well-produced macabre madness is an ambitiously inspired goregasm.
MY CALL: Intense, mean, dire and very, very, very graphically macabre at every chunky gory opportunity. I loved this film. MORE MOVIES LIKE Malum: Last Shift (2014).
Very much like Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 2 (1987), Malum is writer/director Anthony DiBlasi’s (Dread, Last Shift, The Profane Exhibit, Cassadaga) reimagined Last Shift (2014) with the same plot but a different cast. But, full disclosure, I have not seen Last Shift (2014) since I initially reviewed it almost ten years ago. So I cannot offer a good side-by-side comparison of the two films.
From its very first scene, this movie makes it abundantly clear that devil worshippers and Satanic ritual will be thematically important. Our cold open presents a cop brutally murdering his fellow cadets and then committing suicide to join his ‘master.’ The exploding face gore from the gunshot is spectacular. A year later, his daughter Jessica (Jessica Sula; Split) is a rookie police officer preparing for her first shift. Upon her request, this first shift is standing watch by herself overnight in the near-abandoned police station where her father’s massacre transpired. Young, attractive and perhaps too meek for conflict, she strikes me as no more than tenderized final girl victim bait for whatever evils herein lurk. She is left with one instruction: “stay out of holding (cells).”
Without easing us into a false sense of security, our cadet encounters all manner of flickering lights, strange noises, momentary sightings of another uniformed cadet in the shadows, objects moving on their own, a disturbed hobo (Kevin Wayne), a manic hooker who hears voices, slamming doors and mysterious threatening phone calls. Among the disordered melee of distractions, no single event seems nearly as dire as expected… at first. But they build in magnitude and seem to create a vile synergy projecting an ever more infernal atmosphere. Yeah, it gets creepier. But even more so it gets… more Hellish. Like Jessica’s own personal Hell curated perfectly for her suffering.
With all the supernatural and weird distracting goings-on on Jessica doesn’t seem to acknowledge how weird this all is until she’s in too deep. It’s like she never gets a break long enough to realize how eff’d up this all is. Every encounter Jessica has is suspiciously weird, and things get yet weirder when she finds a flash drive with Satanic videos.
Great gore in this movie! Really fleshy and nasty. A brutally gory face-smashing scene, another shot-gunned goretastic face, even more super gory chunky faces, and multiple events of sloppy stabby murder round out a lot of good gore. The gory stylings really play well into the demonic themes well. It’s really gnarly and deliciously gross! A hanging scene was truly amazing. Hanged by some supernatural means, the victim’s fingers are scythed from her hand, her eyes grotesquely bulge, and her body drops from her squeezed and sundered neck in a pinata-like dowsing of blood. Wow.
Just like Last Shift (2014), the cultists at the end were next level off-putting and unlike anything I’ve seen in movies before. As if imagined through a Lovecraftian lens, they are inhuman and slimy, their hoods are saturated in their evil ectoplasm, and their eyes and skin are not of this world.
With all the jumpy shenanigans, goopy splattered bloody murder, and wildly unrelated goings-on, this movie feels like an incredibly well-made B-movie. It’s entertaining, but not necessarily interesting (since there’s no mystery to it, only lunacy).
I’ve gotta’ say, this is pretty cool. I definitely favor this to the original. Admittedly, the original just seemed to rub me the wrong way. And even though this is quite similar to the original, I feel the staging and execution of the storytelling along with the very ambitiously magnified and inspired gore effects both really elevate this well above its source material.
Likely somewhat Hellraiser-inspired in the best ways possible, the sum of macabre visuals of this film are amazing. Let’s please give Anthony DiBlasi all the money so he can continue to make graphic, inspired horror for the depraved masses.
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John’s Horror Corner: Baby Blood (1990; aka, The Evil Within), a Eurosleaze, splatterfest of a French horror.
MY CALL: Well, it’s gross, exploitative and very gory… and it’s about a monstrous blood-drinking fetus. Sooooo… you know if this movie is for you. MORE MOVIES LIKE Baby Blood: For more baby horror, try Seeding of a Ghost (1983), The Suckling (1990), The Unborn (1991), The Unborn II (1994), Grace (2009), The Night Feeder (1988), It’s Alive (1974), It’s Alive II: It Lives Again (1978), It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive (1987), the remake of It’s Alive (2009); and for pregnancy horror go for Rosemary’s Baby (1968), Demon Seed (1977), Inside (2016), Inside (2007), Still/Born (2017) and Good Manners (2017; As Boas Maneiras).
Looking for something different? How about a sleazy, splatterfest of a French horror movie about a monstrous impregnation? Now you’d think this would surely be the lowest caliber of schlock filmmaking. Yet the opening scenes offer a narration by the monster of the movie storytelling of the origins of life on Earth including its own Primordial creation. Say what you want about all the blood and boobs in this movie, but it’s really going for it.
The acting, direction, photography and writing are all at least average when weighed against other horror releases for its time. That’s not to say this is “well-written.” But simply that this is echelons above the adult movie-like drivel that comprised so many releases of the era (e.g., Night Angel, The Haunting of Morella).
A French circus performer in an abusive relationship with her carney boyfriend (ChristianSinniger), Yanka (Emmanuelle Escourrou; Lady Blood, Empire of the Wolves) leads an empty life. After a jaguar explodes into a gory mess, a serpentine monster from within its body finds Yanka asleep and crawls into her… ummm… uterus (via the most readily available throughfare). Like a sexualized spin on The Hidden (1987), Yanka goes on the run to feed the newfound cravings of her ‘baby.’ Her impregnated parasite talks to her with a little feisty demon voice, beckoning her to kill for it so it can grow and be born. In this way, it’s also reminiscent of Brain Damage (1988).
As if playing on Mathilda May’s fanfare from Lifeforce (1985), Yanka is naked quite a bit. Like, very naked. We even see her soaked in blood while in a nude stabbing frenzy. Like I said before, this is a Eurosleaze splatterfest and, at times, it seems to have a sense of humor to its spastic stabby murders.
Yanka grifts from town to town, preying on the sleaziest of men. It’s nice to see that she’s only killing the worst of them, drinking their blood to nourish her parasite. At one point she ends up on a bus of very rape-y hooligans. Don’t worry, they get theirs.
The gore in the film is quite satisfying. The dream sequence birth scene is pretty wild and groaty, with bloody gore-slathered arms emerging from Yanka’s abdomen. At one point, a man is gas-inflated to a bursting death. After Yanka gives birth, the baby eats out a man’s chest cavity and sheds its infant skin like a molting lizard, now leaving a goopy trail of thick mucus wherever it goes. Now in the form of a tentacle monster, the newborn tears the hooligan bus driver’s face apart.
The movie ends, but there is really no ending at all. A bus crashes and the newborn has made its way into the ocean as it intended for its next evolutionary step. I guess this spells doom for mankind. But alas, there was never a sequel to answer this consequence.
There’s nothing sensational or original about this very sleazy, very bloody flick. However, the execution of the premise, the dynamic between Yanka and her fetal parasite, and the manic intensity of the spastic splatter murders make for an interesting horror endeavor. Strongly recommended for fans of schlock and exploitation horror.
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John’s Horror Corner: Blades (1989), an obscure, indie, very hokey, killer lawnmower movie.
MY CALL: Just bad enough in a good way that an adventurous B-movie connoisseur would doubtfully regret it. MORE MOVIES LIKE Blades: Slaxx (2020) and Rubber (2010) spring to mind.
IMDB summary—“Somewhere in New Jersey, a killer lawnmower stalks a small town’s golf course.” And with that description, how could you possibly not feel the need to watch this?!
For a little indie 80s horror movie I’ve never heard of, this is much better made than I would have expected. I expected intolerably bad editing, acting, writing, ultra-cheap sets and clunky sound and scoring—more like Nightmare Weekend (1986). But this is not the case. I’m not calling this some overlooked hidden gem or anything. I’m just saying it’s not complete and utter crap right outta’ the gates at all.
Our first (off-screen) lawnmower death scene results in a pile of a young couple’s body parts in a sand trap. While clearly low budget, even this seemed to exceed my expectations. Baffled by the massacre, the new golf pro and club owner decide to keep things quiet since there’s a major televised golf tournament coming up. So basically, they’re pulling a “mayor from Jaws (1975)” and putting everyone at risk.
The tone of the movie is very light. This is practically a horror comedy, even if light on the comedy. The death scenes are all somewhat silly in execution. They are all off-screen, and after-the-fact remains of the victims are nothing special—some bloody, torn clothes and some occasional severed limbs. Two attacks feature some on-screen (implied) leg shredding and squirming bloody stumps, but that’s about it. Not that it isn’t worth a good grin or two. There just isn’t enough. Still, this remains better than I expected. Despite being very capably produced, the budget limitations reduce the pacing to boredom more frequently than most viewers would prefer.
It’s kind of funny how they “hunt” the lawnmower in the end. But nothing notably eventful comes of it. The lawnmower even has its own local folklore—deliciously laughable. And again, this is where I defend this movie’s merits, however few they may be and even when lacking in the classically integral scares and gore departments.
The final fight with this lawnmower is senselessly stupid. Our protagonists shoot at it and throw grenades from a van while the mower rams the vehicle, then runs away and charges back at them like a remote-control car requiring a wide birth. Ultimately, this killer gardening tool is defeated by golf. Yes—golf. So dumb, yet so perfect.
Definitely got a few laughs out of this movie. Again, there’s just enough “good” in this bad movie to recommend it (to fans of bad movies). I’m not ranking it high in this respect. I’m just saying that adventurous B-movie connoisseurs would doubtfully regret it.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 511 – The Fly, Jeff Goldblum, and Experiments Gone Horribly Awry
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Mark and Norbert (@eddiecaine on Twitter) discuss the 1986 science fiction film The Fly. Directed by David Cronenberg, and starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, John Getz, and lots of goo, the movie focuses on what happens when scientists get jealous. In this episode, they also talk about arm wrestling, body horror, and horror remakes. Enjoy!
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Oppenheimer (2023) – Review
Quick Thoughts – Grade – A – Oppenheimer is a grand achievement and will be a major player come awards time. Director Christopher Nolan has crafted a beautiful film and I still can’t believe that he shot it in only 57 days. Also, it’s nice seeing Nolan back in Memento and The Prestige-esque storytelling mode as he focuses on character interactions and interweaving plotlines (and non-linear storytelling) that build to something great.
Nolan has described Oppenheimer as being ”part hero’s journey, part heist film and part courtroom drama, set against the imagery of a western.” The miracle is that it’s all of these things and it doesn’t feel bloated or unnecessary. I can’t really explain or fully articulate what an accomplishment this film is, but I can say that it feels like Nolan and everyone else involved came together and hit another level to create this three-hour beauty. In interviews, cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema discussed his “very intuitive, no-nonsense, no-bulls*** shorthand” that he has with Nolan, and star Cillian Murphy, who has worked with Nolan six times (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Dunkirk, Oppenheimer), went to extreme lengths (weight loss, alienation from the rest of the cast) to put himself in the mindset of J. Robert Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer is a film that happens when a cast and crew totally dedicate themselves to a director’s vision, and they did all of this with only 12 weeks of prep!
Adapted from Pulitzer Prize-winning biography, American Prometheus, by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin, Oppenheimer tells a non-linear story that focuses on the creation of the famous/infamous Manhattan Project, which led to the world’s first atomic bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. Since it’s a Christopher Nolan film, time is a major storytelling element as Oppenheimer and his team of scientists work around the clock, for years, in an attempt to get ahead of the Germans and Russians who were concurrently building their own atomic weapons. Adding more stress to the stressful situation is that Oppenheimer’s past associations with the Communist party hinder him at every step as his associations come back to haunt him during the following decades as he becomes a vocal advocate against the stockpiling of nuclear weapons. This leads to a trial inside a dingy boardroom that leaves Oppenheimer and his lawyer Lloyd Garrison (Macon Blair) up against hostile opposition in the form of prosecutor Roger Robb (Jason Clarke) and Gordon Gray (Tony Goldwyn). Adding even more stress is the fact that Oppenheimer and his team were building an explosive weapon that would inevitably lead to thousands dying and a chance that the world could be destroyed due to a chain reaction of explosions. Toss in subplots involving Lewis Strauss’s (Robert Downey Jr.) nomination for Secretary of Commerce, and the relationship between Oppenheimer and Kitty Oppenheimer (Emily Blunt), and you have a film that’s stuffed with dozens of characters, and multiple timelines. It seems like a lot, but Nolan and editor Jennifer Lame make everything easy to follow and absorb.
The acting is exceptional too, as Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Rami Malek, Florence Pugh, Matthew Modine, Alden Ehrenreich, David Krumholtz, Robert Downey Jr., Josh Hartnett, Olivia Thrilby, Casey Affleck, Benny Safdie, Dane DeHaan, Gary Oldman, and Gustaf Skarsgard are all excellent, and I’m 98.5% certain the majority of the “Ensemble Acting” awards will go this film. I can’t think of the last time when seeing so many familiar faces didn’t feel distracting. Oppenheimer could’ve easily become “Hey! I know that actor,” but instead everyone feels like they belong and seeing Gary Oldman pop up as Harry Truman doesn’t feel distracting.
I deeply admire Oppenheimer and I hope that it goes on to make loads of money and gets the respect it deserves. Nolan is firing on all cylinders here, and I can’t wait to watch the film again.
Final thoughts – Watch Oppenheimer on the biggest screen possible.
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The Movies, Films and Flix tradition continues! Mark and Megan hand out random awards to their favorite moments and movies of 2023 (so far). In this episode, they celebrate movies like Fist of the Condor, Plane, Polite Society, Knock at the Cabin, Rye Lane, Scream 6, Blackberry, Asteroid City and many more. Enjoy!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 509 (Godzilla: The Soundtrack, Roland Emmerich, and Giant Monsters
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Mark and Billy Patterson (@billyapatterson on Twitter) continue their 1990’s soundtrack series by picking their favorite songs from Godzilla: The Album. It’s a beautiful soundtrack featuring songs from Rage Against the Machine, Jamiroquai, The Wallflowers, Puff Diddy, Ben Folds Five, Silverchair, Foo Fighters, and several other bands who received loads of money for their contributions. In this episode, they also talk about Roland Emmerich, massive movie marketing and Taco Bell. Enjoy!
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Movies, Films & Flix 