Bad Movie Tuesday: 2010 Moby Dick

2010: Moby Dick

There is a scene in 2010: Moby Dick where the titular whale eats a helicopter. I began to wonder how it could digest the whole thing. That must be tons of metal, fuel and wiring. Wouldn’t the whale get a cramp? He couldn’t be swimming around after that. I hate to be vulgar but how does he pass it?

This film focuses on a current day Ahab. Ahab got his leg eaten by Moby Dick and has a dark resentment……..However, after seeing the whale eat an entire helicopter  I’m thinking that Ahab got off lucky. Actually, he is incredibly fortunate that he only got his leg eaten. Imagine the stories you could tell at bars. Nobody would have a better scar story.

Sample Conversation:

Random Dude: Check out this scar. I got this while on a safari in Africa. A honey badger attacked me.

Female bar patron: Wow! nobody can top that story.

Ahab: Well! A whale the size of a football field ate my leg and now I hunt it 24/7 in a submarine I made.

Female Bar Patron: Torpedoes away!

I do have to say that this is the best looking film The Asylum has ever made. That isn’t saying much considering the other films are Megashark vs. Giant Octopus and they are responsible for this scene.

The movie still has its faults. There is a scene where Ahab is making a speech and it cuts to all the clean-shaven crew…all is good until it cuts to a guy with long hair and a chin strap beard. Then, Ahab is running around with the cheesiest looking rocket launcher ever. The thing flops up and down while he is running. The kicker is that he has to carry an ugly gun…then the harpoon from that gun proves to be his undoing.

I never thought I would say this but I’m growing tired of large aquatic creatures running amuck. I loved the megashark catching a plane out of the air but it isn’t thrilling when a whale does a belly flop on a boat. Also, the whale is a big time jerk. He destroys a random sub then he sees there is still a survivor so  he breaks through an iceberg and drags the man back into the water. You can’t support that kind of behavior from any type of angry creatures.

At the end they try to create a message. the message is that the whale hasn’t been hunting them. they’ve been hunting it. Tell that to the cruise ship Moby destroyed or the aforementioned sailboat that met Moby’s belly. There is even a scene where Moby goes onto land and actively hunts down the sailors.

What I love is that there is a movie company that consistently produces junk. In their next film they have Thor running through the streets battling Richard Greico while shooting an uzi. Gotta love it.