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Bad Movie Tuesday: The Good Bad, the Bad Bad and the Ugly Bad of Summer

September 13, 2011

Summer wouldn’t be summer without bad movies. big budgets, bad writing and recycled plots. These films enter the theaters hoping for big opening weekends and international grosses.

I’ve put together the first annual Bad Summer Movie Awards and I’m awarding the multiple bad films that have graced the cinemas this summer.

1.Movie Poster that raises the most inadvertent questions about how a guy could get on top of thousands of skulls award

 

2.I spilled coca cola on my girlfriend while at the Drive-in and when we looked up the movie was over award.

Super 8. Decent film but it ends incredibly abrupt and leaves you scratching your head…Not only was I a bit disappointed with the movie but I had lost most of my soda.

 

3. Didn’t I see a better version of this a couple of years ago award?

The Hangover Part 2 follows all the rules of sequels. Bigger, badder, meaner, grosser, angrier, unfunnier, dumber,  longer. It almost loses every bit of good will The Hangover amassed

 

4. Most  hilarious use of that guy with the deep voice who talks on the previews award.

Hearing the guys booming voice while he says “One day a year these good-looking white people find love and companionship” had me laughing in the theater.

 

5. MFF award for achievement in making two very bad movies starring a bored Paul Bettany as an angel/priest award.

 

6. The only movie in the world that can be described as milquetoast.

I felt zero emotions towards this movie. Nothing about it evoked any type of reaction. I didn’t even think about this during the movie because thinking this would have evoked emotions.

 

7. How can a movie called Final Destination have four sequels award?

 

8. How were they able to rip 0ff  117 films during 100 minutes award?

 Yes, Priest is the Gone With the Wind of the Moviesfilmsandflix summer awards.

 

9. Why is Mickey Rourke flying on Megan Fox’s back  Award?

 

If you made it through Passion Play you find out Rourke is dead and Fox is an angel he saved from Bill Murray.

 

10.Movie I thought I would hate yet didn’t hate despite it giving me every reason to hate it award.

 

Transformers 3. Better than the second, not as good as the first, sorta fun

 

11.Worst movie of the summer/year/last year/near future/post-apocalyptic future award

 

Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides

200 Million Dollar Budget

One Billion Dollar World Wide Gross

3-D aplenty

0 Fun + 0 Originality = An Annoyed Hofmeyer

One Comment leave one →
  1. John Leavengood permalink
    September 13, 2011 7:43 am

    And the “longest name for an award Award” goes to Mark’s “Bad Movie Tuesday: The Good Bad, the Bad Bad and the Ugly Bad of Summer”!

    Enjoyed it, Marko! Lengthy disclaimers and roundabout, too-verbose-to-follow, hyphen-rich, ranting, jargonous movie prattle are my bag, too.

    Word to ya’ motha’.

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