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Movies, Films & Flix Random Awards: The Best of Summer

August 24, 2012

The Best Film of the Summer

Moonrise Kingdom – It is funny, warm and features Bill Murray throwing a shoe at Edward Norton.

Best Performance in a bad movie that made you like the bad movie until you thought about it later  and realized the badness award

Josh BrolinMIB 3 – The guy is so good you forget the plot is terrible and that production had to be shut down for three months to make this film.

Best Vita Coco product placement/Close to jumping the shark award

The Dictator – Cohen needs to ditch the script and embrace spontaneity.

Best Character of the Summer

Loki – He catches arrows, leads an army and still manages to lose in spectacular fashion.

Dumber than dirt Award (I still like the director though)

God Bless America – Turn off the TV/Radio and read a book. Maybe that will stop you from going on a rampage.

Why did the guy who created the maps get lost award

Prometheus – This movie was suppossed to be smart. But, then the guy who created the greatest maps ever can’t find his way out of a catacomb.

Cast I’d like to spend more time with

Safety not Guaranteed – Everybody is just so nice. Fantastic little indie.

Safety Not Guaranteed Jake Johnson

Ouch, huh? and Oof award

Rock of Ages, Thats My Boy, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Friends With Kids

Funniest Movie of the summer and greatest cameo award

Ted – This film provides genuine big laughs that come from wonderful dialogue and moments. Also, seeing Flash Gordon takes shots with a CGI teddy bear is pretty aweswome.

Matthew McConaughey will finally get an Oscar Nomination and prove I was right about Lincoln Lawyer being a springboard/Finding a way to put John Leguizamo in this post award

Magic Mike, The Paper Boy, Killer Joe and Bernie…..Almost makes up for Fools Gold.

Performance that can only be described as “drab” award

Steve CarrellSeeking a Friend for the End of the World – I began to wonder if he was heavily sedated while filming this.

I still haven’t seen it award

The Amazing Spider Man

You will love Battleship if you go into it knowing you will watch a film called Battleship award

Battleship – Seriously folks. It is a movie about dudes trying to kill aliens. Enjoy it.

Best reason to not include a Ben Stiller sterility subplot in your film award

The Watch – I still don’t get it.

Cillian Murphy is in it!…Oh, modern-day DeNiro is in it too….Rental award?

Red Lights – Viva la Scarecrow!

Gratuitous beauty shot award/best excuse to marry a director award

Total Recall – Squint, beauty shot, squint, unnecessary Beckinsale flip, squint, sexy pose, squint, why is Jessica Biel wearing Cargo pants, squint.

Best writing, Best Norton and Best fleeces award

The Bourne Legacy – The definition of smart filmmaking

Come back of the year/gratuitous Dolph appearance in the blog Award

The Expendables 2 – JCVD for President! Dolph for Vice President!

You can make a film for $10 and still create a wonderful vision full of imagination award

Beasts of the Southern Wild – A creative vision of wonderfulness and beauty.

Best Hair award

Brave – It must have cost $15 million to animated every strand of hair. It is a fun movie too.

The film that proves Kristen Stewart can look at stuff award

Snow White and the Huntsman – We will always have Adventureland.

I can’t believe it is all over award

The Dark Knight Rises – Goodbye and thanks for all the monologues.

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