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What to Expect When You’re Expecting

September 19, 2012


I watched What to Expect and Resident Evil 5 on the same day. They shared a couple of similarities. I don’t remember any of the character names and they were full of underused likable actors. However, I laughed more during RE5 and What to Expect didn’t have any zombies running a muck. Maybe the title should have been What to Expect When You are Having a Zombie Baby.

What to Expect is shiny bland gloss. It features minimal laughs, many groans and only one fart joke. There are about 1,700 characters and not nearly enough time is spent on anyone. J Lo plays a mousy free-lance photographer, Diaz is a Jillian Michaels clone, Elizabeth Banks is Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick is likable bland and Brooklyn Decker has an odd accent.

The biggest problem I have with this film is that they under utilize Anna Kendrick, Chris Rock and Elizabeth Banks. It is like acquiring Drew Brees and making him play linebacker. Brees will try really hard but it is inevitable that Adrian Peterson will run him over. After Up in the Air,  Out of Sight and Wet Hot American Summer it pained me to watch Kendrick, Lopez and Banks do nothing except pose for these posters.


Mixed in with the romance and heartbreak is Chris Rock and his Greek chorus of fellow fathers. They walk around Piedmont park in Atlanta and provide the comedy and Joe Manganiello love. Chris Rock is incredibly muzzled and he unleashes the diet cola version of his shtick. I wonder if he needed some money or had to do this film to get Pootie Tang 2 off of the ground? In the famous words of Michael Caine after Jaws: The Revenge “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”


What to Expect is not a good film. It is too safe and bland to entertain. However, it is not a cynical mess or soul crushing like New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. The films main flaw is that is doesn’t let the cast have room to breathe and show you why they are so popular in the first place.


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