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John’s Old School Horror Corner: House II: The Second Story (1987)

February 16, 2013

http://forgottenflix.com/top-10-1980s-horror-movie-posters/house-2-the-second-story-1987/

MY CALL:  This is like a horror-adventure movie for children.  Adults and horror fans should expect to be disappointed.  Unless you’re high.  I suppose if you were high then this movie may see hilarious.  However, not being high, this movie commanded none of my attention or interest.  [D-WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD:  I like “house” movies, but I prefer they take themselves more seriously like in The Amityville Horror (1979, 2005), the last short from V/H/S (2012), Grave Encounters (2011) or Poltergeist (1982).  Even Paranormal Activity 2 (2010), although we later learn it’s less of a “house” movie and more of an evil spirit movie.  SEQUEL SIDEBAR:  I assume you saw House (1986).  Well, this is completely unrelated.

Jesse and Kate (Lar Park Lincoln; Friday the 13th part VII, Freddy’s Nightmares) move into Jesse’s great, great grandfather’s house.  Looking for some ancient, immortalizing crystal skull that his great-great found years ago, Jesse digs up his great-great’s grave only to be strangled by him–still alive from his immortalizing skull.  After a little getting to know you, Gramps (Royal Dano; Ghoulies II, Kiler Klowns from Outer Space) informs Jesse that he has to help him protect the skull from the forces of evil.  Although the forces of evil don’t seem too menacing.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/houseii/

http://foritismansnumber.blogspot.com/2012/02/house-ii-second-story-1987.html
Gramps.

There is no horror to this movie at all.  It feels like it was aiming to make Gramps seem lovable and the story concept “fun.”  I expect this movie to be quite pleasing to 8-year olds, but certainly not to me.  It’s rated PG-13, but I can find nothing keeping it from a humble PG except for a stop-motion monster that reminded me of Beetlejuice.

http://sorrellscreepshow.blogspot.com/2012/10/movie-review-house-ii-second-story.html
A giant prehistoric fledgling vulture thing.  And the guy is smiling and playing with it. In a horror movie?

http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2010/10/doom-house-house-ii-second-story.html
A pro wrestler posing as an Aztec warrior…and he’s a white dude.  Horrifying.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/houseii/

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/houseii/
The bad guy.

While this may well serve families with “swear jars” on the kitchen counter, it hardly suits John’s Horror Corner.  As such, I’ll end this review here and question if this flick should really even be considered horror at all.  Maybe they should have changed the title to The Aztec Dinosaur Adventure.

This is hands down the worst movie ever to feature a crystal skull.  Yes!  Much worse than the latest Indiana Jones movie.  The only thing I liked about this movie was the adorable prehistoric caterpillar dog.

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/houseii/
Awwwww.  I want a caterpillar dog!

12 Comments leave one →
  1. Deborah Preiss permalink
    February 21, 2013 1:14 pm

    Where can i buy this movie. I had the movie but lost it in the house fire. I looked everywhere and can’t find it. Love it me and my grandkids want to watch it again.

    • Deborah Preiss permalink
      February 21, 2013 1:16 pm

      Please send me an email with hopeful where i can get it.

  2. johnleavengood permalink
    February 21, 2013 1:35 pm

    Right now it’s $9 for a new DVD on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/House-II-Second-Midnight-Madness/dp/B0053TWVA0/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1361471655&sr=1-1&keywords=house+ii). Or Amazon Instant Video for 2 or 3 bucks.

    • Deborah Preiss permalink
      February 22, 2013 8:24 pm

      Thank’s so much! I am going to order it right now.It was an amazing movie for us.THANK’S

    • Deborah Preiss permalink
      February 23, 2013 2:59 pm

      i want the movie with john cusack can you still help me

  3. Deborah Preiss permalink
    February 22, 2013 8:33 pm

    I want the one with John Cusack in it.Can you help me find it .

    • johnleavengood permalink
      February 24, 2013 4:40 pm

      I am not sure what movie that would be. You should check his filmography on IMDB.com and then check possible titles on Amazon.

Trackbacks

  1. John’s Horror Corner [INDEX] | Movies, Films & Flix
  2. John’s Old School Horror Corner: Ghoulies 2 (1988) | Movies, Films & Flix
  3. John’s Horror Corner: Fright Night (2011), reflecting on the 1985 original through the lens of a remake. | Movies, Films & Flix
  4. John’s Horror Corner: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), where psychotherapy meets telekinesis and Kane Hodder’s zombie Jason. | Movies, Films & Flix
  5. John’s Horror Corner: Society (1989), uniting “classy” high society flesh-melding orgies and monstrously gory creature effects. | Movies, Films & Flix

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