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Bad Movie Tuesday: The Best Worst Villain Round 4

May 14, 2013

The 32 have become four. Four villains defined by hair, sneak attacks, trout references and Mark Wahlberg’s earnest acting. Not only have they survived the tournament but they’ve had to endure bad reviews (28% RT), poor box office results and lots of hair gel.

These final four villains all have one thing in common. They’ve elevated the material to memorable heights. Love them or hate them they caught you off guard.  I am not alone in my observations about these odd films. Roger Ebert appreciated  similar aspects and in honor of him I will use his wonderful prose to discuss three of the four.

Sidenote: Ebert never reviewed Dracula but one would believe he was in awe of Gerard Butler’s logic defying hairstyle and miscasting. Also, reading the reviews for Dracula was infinitely more entertaining than watching it. Critics unleashed their fangs over the role and I got to read quotes like:

“With his long black coat and incisory overbite, he’s like Neo in The Matrix played by one of the Bee Gees.”

“Gerald Butler’s Dracula seems more like a peevish male model than a true prince of darkness.”

“Butler’s Dracula might be the worst ever committed to film.”

“Butler is too busy preening to generate any sense of menace.”

If you go to the one minute mark of the trailer it looks like Dracula is wearing a helmet.


Ebert never insulted Gerard Butler but he did give The Happening three stars and said nice things about Posey in Blade: Trinity:

“Parker Posey is an actress I have always had affection for, and now it is mixed with increased admiration, for the way she soldiers through an impossible role, sneering like the good sport she is.”

Ebert also summed up Deep Blue Sea with this quote:

“There is a moment in this movie when something happens that is completely unexpected, and it’s over in a flash–a done deal–and the audience laughs in delight because it was so successfully surprised. In a genre where a lot of movies are retreads of the predictable, “Deep Blue Sea’‘ keeps you guessing.”

All of these films keep you guessing and asking questions. For instance, I asked frequent MFF contributor VJ if the shark from Deep would think twice before eating Butler’s hair. He answered with this gem:

“I have a feeling he would probably think twice then decide to eat it…however when it was digested and passed it would come out perfect. the shark would swim by it and think wait didn’t i already eat that hair? so it would gobble it up again and the cycle would continue eventually driving the shark mad. the shark would become so obsessed with the fact that it can’t take down the hair it would be begging for a deathly harpoon shot from Thomas Jane.”

The worst thing a movie can be is forgettable. When it movie hits the right bad chord they can live on in infamy. Three out of the four films have become memorable and kinda classic. The lone exception is Dracula 2000. I’m amazed it has made it to the final four. I blame the hairstylist, funny quotes by VJ and total randomness of it being on the list for it’s survival,

Without further ado. Here are the four finalists. Vote. Like. Share. Repeat.  Thanks!


Via my wonderful fiancee at MADesigns

3 Comments leave one →
  1. johnleavengood permalink
    May 14, 2013 10:15 am

    The air from the happening will make Butler cut off his Dracula hair and one long-incisored sneer from Parker Posey would cow any opponent, even Sam Jackson’s speech finalizing sea predator.

    • May 14, 2013 10:20 am

      Imagine holding up in a sea fort and seeing Posey riding the shark while Butler’s floats in The Happening air. I need that poster.

      • johnleavengood permalink
        May 14, 2013 11:38 am

        This sounds zany enough to be born of a cinephilic version of Beetlejuice’s underworld.

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