The Best Fights of Horror: A Collection of Brawls featuring Spelunkers, Trolls and Euro Vampires

Hello all. Mark here.

The horror world is chock full of jerky creatures wiping out nubile co-eds. These poor people never had a chance as dream creatures, immortal hockey players and raisers of Hell crushed their skulls and spirits.

Yuck

These fights feature my favorite human vs. monster/vampire/troll battles. These folk didn’t back down and tried really hard to prevent themselves from becoming blood geysers. They stood up to insurmountable odds and occasionally survived against terrible odds. You have to appreciate people who put their neck on the line to prevent a greater evil from hurting the world.

Sidenote: It is because of the human/creature rule that this beautiful fight didn’t make the list.

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Sit back, relax and enjoy the following fights!

The Descent – The opening Crawler fight

This is the direction that director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, Doomsday) gave to the participants of the fights.

Neil: (to crawlers) Go for the neck.  (to women) Don’t let them get your neck.

The fights were primal brawls that featured lots of flailing, blood and death. They weren’t drawn out and played believably. The opening fight between Juno and one of the crawlers was brilliant. The poor lady was struggling to save her friend from being dragged away and it resulted in a violent scrap for life.  I left the theater out of breath and really stressed out. They don’t make urgent horror like this anymore.

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30 Days of Night – The townsfolk get wiped out

Tristan Sinns of Dread Central wrote a fantastic review for 30 Days of Night that was quoted by Roger Ebert. I will let Sinns sum up the fight.

The townsfolk’s fight to survive is a horrendous and passionate battle. There’s one shot in particular that is simply stunning; a bird’s eye view of a frozen street, panning slowly over the breadth of nearly the entire town, capturing a long and frenzied battle between the vampires and their victims. This shot goes on and on and does so much to impress the impact and scale of the devastation and horror faced by the small Alaskan town.

Drag Me To Hell – Car park throwdown

I beat you, you old bitch!

Leave it up to Sam Raimi to provide an entertaining brawl between an elderly gypsy woman and a young heroine. In one fight we get an old woman being stapled in the face, dentures exploding out of a mouth and a full on face gumming. It is a bonkers fight that is pure popcorn fun. Sam Raimi knows how to entertain and he adds levity to the horror which makes every fight surprising. I love every second of this fight and consider Drag Me To Hell to be my favorite horror film.

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Aliens – Pacific Rim but cooler

Get away from her you bitch.

I think it is awesome that Ripley would say this to a pissed off alien queen. This is one of the most iconic fight scenes ever.  I love that Ripley put her neck on the line to battle an acid blooded and dagger tailed alien that was really pissed off. It set the standard for badass women and will never not be awesome.

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28 Days Later – Staircase beatdown

There isn’t too much to this fight but I love that it happens. Basically, Brendan Gleeson gets decked out in full riot gear and stands on top of a staircase waiting for the rage infested zombies to get to him. He lays a brutal beating on them and saves the heroes. Has he done this before? Has he adapted his strategy? It was a ballsy move and he didn’t have to help the travelers. I love 28 Days Later.

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Ernest Scared Stupid – Troll meets Miak and a large truck

How about a bumper sandwich booger lips!

Ernest and Trantor battle in schools, tree houses and on highways. They trade barbs, bruises and bad jokes. Ernest Scared Stupid is the only film to ever give me nightmares and this troll is a perfect example of an evil killing force. The director admitted to making this creature too scary and it shows as Trantor continually tries to murder Ernest in terrible ways. You gotta appreciate that Ernest hangs in there and unwittingly dances his way to victory.