Baby Assassins (2021) – Review

Quick Thoughts – Grade – B+ – The best thing about Baby Assassins is I’ve never seen anything like Baby Assassins. The Yugo Sakamoto written and directed film is a delight to watch. 

Baby Assassins revolves around teenagers Chisato (Akari Takaishi) and Mahilo (Saori Izawa) graduating from high school and learning that they have to move in together and find part-time jobs to show some income on their taxes. Why? Chisato and Mahilo are assassins, which means they don’t get their taxes deducted from their contracts, and it looks shady if two teenagers are able to afford an apartment and pay their other bills if they are unemployed. Their shadowy agency doesn’t mind the police (they own them), but are worried about the tax collectors who are more dogged about getting their money and it doesn’t matter who owes it. It’s an inspired concept because it shows what happens when two deadly sociopaths/psychopaths are forced to work at a waffle restaurant or be a hostess at a restaurant that caters toward male clientele. 

The most enjoyable aspect of Baby Assassins is the dark humor. Mahiro and Chisato kill without remorse and you can tell they actually love guiding their prey into alleys where they shoot, kill and stuff their victims into tiny boxes that will be picked up by their employers. They are stone-cold killers who also love sitting on their comfortable looking couch and playing video games all day. Their mundane daily lives provide a fun contrast to their deadly profession and their unpredictable nature adds a wildcard element to any situation they are in. It’s also fun watching two psychopaths learn to live together. Mahiro is an introverted sociopath and Mahilo is a social psychopath, and together they create a neat duo who cook each other dinner, argue about work, and apologize to each other by buying delicious looking bread as an olive branch.

Things get complicated for Mahiro and Chisato when they come across and kill some Yakuza who are attempting to hunt them down. This leads to a final showdown inside a warehouse that features Chisato blowing away people with a large gun, and Mahiro battling a “very strong” Yakuza bodyguard. The action throughout is excellent and that’s because the action director is Kensuke Sonomura (Machine Girl, Bushido Man, Manhunt), an absolute legend whose resume is stacked with fun fights and cool set pieces. He puts his imprint on the film immediately as the opening action scene features Mahiro wiping out a group of men inside a convenience store. It’s a fun fight that pits Mahiro’s speed and desire to kill against several larger men who have no clue that they are battling an absolute killer. During the fight people are stabbed, there’s lots of creative sliding and Mahiro walks out alive. 

If you are looking for a fun action-comedy that features two teenage maniacs learning how to live together, while also battling the Yakuza, it doesn’t get any better than Baby Assassins.