Bad Movie Tuesday: Visitors from the Arkana Galaxy (1981), the bonkers Sci-Fi B-movie you didn’t know you needed to see.

MY CALL: Just weird, bizarre, Sci-Fi lunacy with one part love story and one part creature feature slapstick horror poured over a half-baked bonkers roast. MORE MOVIES LIKE Visitors from the Arkana Galaxy: Let’s keep things bonkers, shall we? So I’ll recommend Demon Seed (1977), The Visitor (1979), Altered States (1980), and Flash Gordon (1980).

Science fiction writer Robert (Zarko Potocnjak; The Rat Survivor) describes the other-worldly characters of his current book project. Led by the she-robot Andra on a mission to investigate Earth, the humanoids of the planet Tugador in the Arkana Galaxy have divine powers. Robert is the most genuine of Sci-Fi geeks. He wears a replica astronaut helmet as he records his ideas, discusses plot twists with a friend in place of casual conversation, and frustrates his girlfriend Biba (Lucie Zulová), who claims she is neglected in favor of Robert’s precious and fictitious Andra.

Manifesting in reality shortly after Robert’s own realization of these ideas for his book, Andra (Ksenia Prohaska; Transylvania 6-5000) and her alien offspring land on Earth, bringing with them the almost Lovecraftian monster Mumu. Her emotionless children are mildly eerie with Village of the Damned­-platinum blond hair. These aliens have the power to alter time, shoot deadly eye lasers, change their form and the form of others, and employ telekinesis.

As if the very concept of this movie was not yet deeply rooted enough in fantasy, there are some truly bizarre moments. For example, a father spontaneously grows breasts to breastfeed his infant; one of Andra’s offspring lasers off her finger, which she regenerates, and then punishes him by whipping his hands with finger lasers; Biba is transformed into a small metal cube; and a large group of people strip buck naked (because nothing says I come in peace like nudity) in a seaside cave to welcome to the aliens to Earth.

As weird little things keep happening, the plot seems to be going nowhere fast. Andra takes it upon herself to assume a more domestic role. She manifests a vacuum extension to her arm, tidies Robert’s home, manifests super-mini steak and fries from her abdomen microwave oven, and dispenses coffee and milk from two of her fingertips. There is even a sensual scene with Andra which leads to a sexy competitive outburst from Biba. Don’t try to take Biba’s man!

And now for something completely different. Eventually Mumu is unleashed on a household where it spews green slime gore all over the place, and all over people. Mumu is a gloriously ridiculous rubber monster suit of an alien horror covered in horns and projections of generally strange morphology. You’d think this scene was from a totally different movie! The creature comically decapitates and dismembers guests at a high society dinner party, and then gouts poisonous gas from tubercles on its back and spews flames from its prehensile trunk, which also projects a long tongue to strangle victims. Mumu is pure lunacy on the screen.

For 1981, Yugoslavian director Dusan Vukotic did well enough that I wish he did more like this. This film starts slowly, very slowly. But it truly does build cumulative entertainment value as it progresses to increasingly ridiculous scenarios in this occasionally slapstick, science fiction fever dream. Does it ever reach B-movie greatness? Not quite. But this is just one-of-a-kind enough to make up for a lot of its shortcomings.