Storage 24
What happens when you put several good-looking people, relationship trouble and a very pissed off alien in a massive self-storage facility? Hearts are torn out (literally and figuratively), people go into way too many closets and perfectly acceptable B-movie mayhem ensues. Storage 24 was made for science fiction fans who want something between Syfy’s shlock and Alien’s pedigree. This British import exists somewhere in the middle and will not annoy legions of late night horror fans who appreciate good-looking head stomps.
I admire Storage 24 because it attempted to create three-dimensional characters but gave in at the 20 minute mark and proceeded straight to carnage town. The relationship foibles in the beginning prove more nauseating than the following blood sprays. Heads are smooshed, guts are spilled and a storage unit hermit compares the alien to his ex-wife (then gets head smooshed). Also, I’m pretty sure a twenty-foot alien is thwarted by fireworks and a screwdriver. It also features the greatest excuse for not having a cell phone.
Guy 1: Call the cops.
Guy 2: I threw my cell phone into a river.
Guy 1: Why?
Guy 2: That is what happens when somebody breaks up with you over the phone.
You could harp about the faults all day (stock characters, recycled plot, skinniest lead actress ever, loud noises). However, I recommend you simply enjoy the carnage and appreciate the original offering. Storage 24 is a nice late night horror film that you and your friends can enjoy when you don’t want the pain of V/H/S or banality The House at the End of the Street . There are enough cheeky moments( alien is scared of toy dog) to appease the masses and not enough gore to turn people off.
Sidenote: A face is slashed off but in more of a “look at this cool makeup we did on a budget” as opposed to gore porn face rips.
I appreciate this film because it knows it’s limitations. It uses the storage facility to maximum effect and the alien is pretty nifty. I watched the film (Netflix) on a day off while I was catching up on writing and it was over before I knew it. I like seeing competence on a budget and this movie accomplishes that.
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Movienomics: How do you know when a Jason Statham movie will be good?.
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John’s Horror Corner: Kill List
Hello all. Mark here.
I am a big fan of original horror, new voices and twist endings that work. Kill List director Ben Wheatley is quickly becoming an important voice in the genre. I recently watched his wonderful/crazy/bonkers film and wanted to add it to the Horror Corner canon. Also, check out my posts about Tank Top Horror, Day Time Horror and Horror Czars.
Kill List is equal parts domestic drama, British hit man violence and absolute insanity. It moves at a deliberate and dread filled pace that guides us toward a final act that punches you in the face and forces you to Google the ending so you can figure out what you just watched. You may not enjoy it when watching but I guarantee you will look back at the face crushing and bonkers plot twist with fondness. It reminded me of the Korean film I Saw the Devil. Devil dived headlong into a violent world of cat and mouse that I did not enjoy watching. However, upon further reflection with a non-traumatized brain I realized it was an expertly directed genre piece.
I knew nothing about Kill List other than the Netflix synopsis and that director Ben Wheatley recently made a big splash with the film Sightseers. The tiny drama earned massive raves and put Wheatley on my radar. Empire magazine raved about his movies and he he sounded like an affable fellow on their podcast. I knew Kill List was going to hurt but I am always curious when directors make big splashes in the horror genre/crime genre. Wheatley manages to find humor and realism in the absurdity of murder and domestic squabbles. He understands dark humor and uses it to sickening effect. When a horror director is at the top of his game I have absolute faith that the original story and following darkness will be more than the standard stab and awe.
The film centers on two hitmen who get entangled in a web of murder, femme fatales and the occult. The actors Neil Maskall and Michael Smiley have a real chemistry together and add a believable dose of menace to the in over their heads hitmen. They are joined by MyAnna Buring (The Descent, Doomsday) who play’s Neil’s retired Swedish military wife. MyAnna handles herself well and is equally as tough as her male counterparts. Together, they find dead rabbits, occult imagery and lots of weird.
Kill List is not easy and doesn’t hand anything on a plate (other than rabbit). The ending is purposefully vague and allowed the viewer to revolt or ponder what just unfolded in front of their eyes. Kill List is an insular film full of surprises, realism and straw masks. It is bleak, unforgiving and confidently done. I can’t wait to watch Sightseers and see what else Wheatley dreams up.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Gangster Squad
Gangster Squad is the movie you want to like but know your personalities don’t mesh. You realize it’s potential but as you begin to ponder grenade physics and are reminded of Alien vs. Predator it is evident you’ve begun to nitpick. You don’t want to be negative so you begin looking for positives. Josh Brolin is believable beating people up, Ryan Gosling is Ryan Gosling and you are happy the guy from the cancelled television show Lights Out is getting work.
The positives fade as you watch in glum desperation while nothing works. You realize Michael Pena created more of character with one sentence in 30 Minutes or less than in the entirety of Gangster Squad. You feel dirty with the thought of what Sean Penn does to poor Emma Stone. You’d rather watch Gosling not eat his cereal.
You feel bad for Mireille Enos who is stuck playing the wife in two delayed films (Gangster Squad, World War Z) and forced to stand under rain machines on the much maligned The Killing. You cringe as she says “you are a demon in the sack.” to a confused Brolin.
In the midst of all the drudgery you find another silver lining. These people get to dress up in gangster gear, shoot guns and hang out with a plethora of cool actors. Stone and Gosling get to reunite after Crazy Stupid Love. Also, You are stoked that Josh Brolin survived Jonah Hex. However, the silver lining gets dirty when a grenade explodes right next to the heroes car and there is zero shrapnel or damage.
Gangster Squad is the type of film where Giovani Ribisi is the normal one. When has he been the normal one? He is always kidnapping teddy bears, stealing cars, acting squirrelly and crunching blue people. In GS he is the nice guy with a family who will be murdered because he is the nice guy who has a family. I remember looking at my fiancee (who advised me not to watch the movie) and asking “they don’t kill his kid do they?”
Many people are murdered in Saw type ways. They murder people as if they studied the “Sam Raimi Guide to Blood Sprays. People get lit on fire, torn in half, fed to wolves, blown up, stabbed, tortured and one guy receives a drill to the head. I found this particular death to be very unnecessary due to the immense clean up afterward. There had to be a mass blood explosion as the drill hit the head. Suits were ruined, electricity was used and it didn’t send out a message because nobody saw it. It reminded me of a scene in Fast Five where the bad guy bashes a henchmen over the head with a metal object. Bloods gushes all over the office and the bloody death instrument is placed back on a glass table. Who cleans this up? How did they carry them dead guy out? Movie deaths are way too convenient.
Gangster Squad had one of the best casts of 2012 (Brolin, Gosling, Stone, Pena, Penn, Nolte, Mackie, Ribisi). However, it was plagued by reshoots (Aurora shooting) no cohesion and a director who couldn’t stick the landing on the much smaller crime caper 30 Minutes or Less. I wouldn’t place any blame on any one in particular. The movie just didn’t work. It reminded me of the 2012/2013 Los Angeles Lakers. A team that should have won a championship but due to egos, injuries and the Princeton offense didn’t make it past the first round of the playoffs. No legacies will be garnished because both the Lakers and Gangster Squad will be looked at as failed experiments.
Gangster Squad is not so bad it is good. However, it is not so bad that it is memorable. Gangster Squad is a forgettable experiment that in making a hybrid gangster film.
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After watching Fast & Furious 6 I declare 05/24 to be “National Fast and the Furious Day.”
1. Talk about family while eating BBQ at a corporate meeting/lunch date,
2. Entitle your TPS report//PowerPoint presentation “Live life a quarter mile at a time.”
3. Call your friends/family/clients/co-workers “bruh”
4. Order Corona during happy hour and only drink 1/3 of it.
5. If you work at a bar/restaurant/garage play the entire series in order 1,2,4,5,3
6. Appreciate a bonkers series that is still ridiculously fun six films in by drifting for pink slips in a nearby parking garage (The police will understand).
The FF series has survived and thrived due to a confident director, likable cast and total commitment to wonderful insanity. It has established it’s identity and lets it’s car crash flag thrive. Where else will you see cars drive out of moving airplanes, 10 mile runways, a guy bigger than The Rock, Gina Carano losing to Michelle Rodriguez, a tank being destroyed by a sport car anchor and an F1 type vehicle modified to become a car flipping monster?
The populace loves these films. Has there ever been a series that people still love six films in? When most series are floundering the Fast series is thriving and pulling in tons of money ($120 million opening weekend, $197 million worldwide). What started as a good Point Break ripoff has become a roller coaster of likable films. My favorite is 2 Fast 2 Furious. I love the relationship between Tyrese and Paul Walker. It is a small Miami story that features petty theft, Ludacris and the greatest “bruh” banter ever. Shakespeare it ain’t. However, it is a cheeky little film that features likable characters who still inhabit the FF world.
What the series has excelled at is bringing back characters to the cohesive yet bonkers world. Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese, Vin Diesel, The Rock, Gal Gadot, Sung Kang, Ludacris, Michelle Rodriguez, Else Pataky, Shea Whigham, John Ortiz, Don Omar, Thom Barry, Matt Schulze and Tego Lee all appear in more than one film. When it comes down to it the FF series is about family, BBQ, coronas, ridiculous car chases and more family. The international cast gells well together and they somehow manage to destroy everything yet hurt no civilians.
The plot of Six focuses on Dom and crew hunting down a doppelganger gang lead by the insane Luke Evans. If they bring Evans down The Rock will give the crew full pardons. What follows is Tyrese and Sung Kang eating a lot, Gal Gadot shooting dudes and riding motorcycles and Vin attempting to bring Michelle Rodriguez back to the BBQ side of the force. Also, Paul Walker throws his patented flying punch, The Rock wears Under Armor shirts that are too small are him (not sure they make bigger sizes) and Luke Evans is no Cole Hauser.
Fast & Furious 6 is a pure blast of adrenaline that should be enjoyed with an open mind and knowledge of the series. I’ve loved watching the series evolve while still focusing on family. It is too easy to analyze this film and hopefully critics and the general public realize the incredible treat that Justin Lin, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker have given us! I’m stoked to see what horror maestro James Wan can do with Fast 7. I wouldn’t be surprised if he brings the red monster from Insidious with him!
You have a year to prepare for May 24th! Stock up on Corona, buy too much meat and practice up on your “bruhs.”
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Bad Movie Tuesday: The Best Worst Movie Villain!
The results are in! The shark who ate Sam Jackson in Deep Blue Sea is the champion. The intelligent shark cruised it’s way to victory past The old lady who fell face first into a table in The Skeleton Key, The Crocodile from Lake Placid, The motherf***ing snakes from Snakes on a Plane, Parker Posey in Blade: Trinity and Gerard Butler’s hair in Dracula 2000. The only thing that could have defeated the shark is Sam Jackson with Gerard Butler’s hair in Dracula 2000. Imagine Sam Jackson doing this audition with the same hair.
The shark attack represents a unique milestone among film aficionados and cinema novices. Everybody loves the moment because it is so bonkers. It is equal parts dumb, kinda smart and uber awesome. Deep Blue Sea lives on as a surprising surprise of a movie. It could have been super idiotic and stock but the Jackson kill made it a beast all it’s own. Director Renny Harlin injected Finnish steroids into it and DBS became the 12th highest grossing creature feature of all time. It also developed a cult following and Entertainment weekly gave the kill an A+.
The shark resembles director Renny Harlin’s career. Weird timing, bombastic eccentricities and initially undervalued. Harlin has directed such odd delights as Nightmare on Elm Street 4, Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger, Driven, Cleaner The Long Kiss Midnight, Cutthroat Island, Mindhunters, Exorcist: The beginning, The Covenant, 12 Rounds and now Hercules 3D.
Interesting fact: Actors must love acting for Harlin because he has worked multiple times with Geena Davis (ex-wife), Syllvester Stallone, Stellan Skarsgard, Sam Jackson, LL Cool J, Val Kilmer and Rex Linn.
Harlin owns the Guinness world record for Biggest Box-Office Flop of all time with the 1995 debacle Cutthroat Island (Budget $115 million, Grossed $10 million). Percentage wise it is still the biggest flop ever. Harlin goes big or goes home much like the sharks in Deep Blue Sea.
Later in his career Harlin was brought in to finish films after the directors were fired. He added more action and created wonderfully jumbled films that confused while bringing lots of boom. Harlin punched up Mindhunters (a movie about people using their super brains to hunt criminals) and Exorcist 2 (It needed more action?). Both were borderline unwatchable while being strangely magnetic.
Harlin also owns the distinction of being fired from one of the biggest flops ever. Here is the how it happened via Ray Bradbury:
“He’d been on the project for more than a year, and he’s a fine director… But then, about four weeks ago, quite suddenly, [he said,] ‘Why don’t we take the butterfly out of SOUND OF THUNDER?’ Can you believe that? When I heard it, I whooped with laughter. I said, ‘Oh my God,… if you wanted to be accurate about being stupid, this was it.’ So they fired him, and we’ve got a new director now.”
I’d wager if they kept him on the film it would have been loud, dumb and not as bad. Watch the trailer here.
Renny Harlin has had a strange career. There have been ups (Die Hard 2), downs (Mindhunters?) and everything in between (17 years later The Long Kiss Goodnight is being considered an action classic). However, Harlin should be proud of the work he did on Deep Blue Sea. I was working in a theater when it was released and it received more crowd reaction then any movie I’ve ever watched in a theater. DBS is perfect popcorn cinema and as evidenced by this tournament still very relevant. Thank you Renny for your loud Finnish ways.
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The Hangover III and The Dreaded Trilogy
There is a moment at the end of The Hangover III when it flashes back to the first film and shows the Wolfpack looking young, a bit pudgy and on the verge of stardom. There was something charming about these four guys who indulge in all forms of debauchery while staying sweetly loyal to each other. The friendship and hazy recollection won over the populace earned $467 million worldwide. The men became stars, wolfpack shirts were sold and blue blockers were popular again. People loved Hangover so much they flocked to the sequel ($85 million opening weekend). However, it followed the rules of sequels by being bigger, dumber and more of the same (They cut and pasted the original script in Thailand). A trilogy was inevitable and The Hangover III was dumped in the theaters this weekend.
Critics (21% RT) and audiences ($44 million opening weekend) have not been nice to the film. This should come as no surprise to cinema goers who understand the rules of trilogies. The final installment of the Hangover series is essentially the same as Matrix Revolutions, Little Fockers, Blade: Trinity, X-Men The Last Stand, Jaws 3D, Spider Man 3, and Men in Black 3. The first film was a sleeper hit, the second film made tons of money and the third was just really weird and messed with the familiarity by going too far in the other direction.
There is nothing new about this film even as it switches gears. It changes up the hungover mystery while bringing back old characters. The story centers around the Wolfpack being tasked to find Mr. Chow who is out of prison and holding $21 million in gold bars. If they do not succeed Doug (Justin Bartha) will be shot in the face by big baddie John Goodman. The trio travel to tijuana and Las Vegas while doing drugs, killing animals and talking a lot of sh** to each other. My favorite moment of H3 is a downer delight when Chow sings Hurt (I love the Johnny Cash cover) by the Nine Inch Nails in a Tijuana karaoke bar. It is strange, momentum killing and very random.
The biggest flaw of the third Hangover is that it forgets what made the first film so likable (Wolfpack speech, sense of family, funny moments). There is zero sweetness or likable moments among the sweat, blood and dirt. Director Todd Phillips made his name by making raunchy albeit nice films about male bonding. Road Trip, Starsky and Hutch, Old School and The Hangover featured male characters who bond, talk dirty and become better friends. They all received decent critical reception (Fresh 65%) and went on to make lots of money and have long lives on DVD. Phillips other films School for Scoundrels, Hangover 2, Due Date and Hangover 3 were nasty little things featuring angry characters, selfish motives and more nastiness. These four film were not well received (30% RT) and made money due to the big names stars (Robert Downey Jr.) or prior installment momentum.
While watching H3 I kept thinking about Silver Linings Playbook, Cedar Rapids, Community, Out Cold and the scene from the upcoming comedy We’re the Millers where Ed Helm’s orca eats a dolphin. The cast and crew can do much better and it is a shame that the finale to a beloved film felt so lazy and nasty.
Go ahead and watch The Hangover 3. If you’ve watched the first two you might as well close out the series. Stay after the credits to see what the fourth film would have looked like.
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Freakonomics (2010)
http://fermineighbor.blogspot.com/2010/10/freakonomics-movie.html
MY CALL: A light-hearted, funny and informative film adaptation of the book that most viewers should enjoy. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Super Size Me (2008), Bigger Faster Stronger (2004).
I’ll start by saying that I’ve read the book years ago. I also read about one chapter of the book(chosen randomly) every few months as a refresher. Needless to say, I really like this book. It’s highly informative on things that you see, encounter and deal with every day but just never stopped to think about it. So, that said, why bother with the movie?
http://ecotalker.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/freakonomics-movie/
Arguably the book covers a greater breadth of issues and addresses each one in greater detail, discussing finer points; really educating us. The movie covers less. But the movie serves as a Cliff’s Notes edition to give you a taste of what Freakonomics really is. What’s more is that it does so with a well-composed charm. You see, this is neither a fictitious plot nor a true documentary. Rather the author and economist explain things to us in their own words with their own personable nature accompanied by some cute animations.
http://ecotalker.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/freakonomics-movie/
They address things like…
Does your real estate agent really have any incentive to wait a week to sell your house for an additional $10,000 if you already have an offer for $290,000?
Should we do everything that our parents did when parenting our own kids? Will books on parenting help me be a better parent?
What are the consequences to the names we give our children? Or are chosen names consequences of some other trends?
How do you identify cheating based only on SAT scan-tron sheet data?
How can we distinguish causality from happenstance correlations?
In addressing each of these bullet points (chapters in the book), they give their own opinions and present testimonies from random people on the street (“regular people”) and experts on things we didn’t even know there were experts for (like “baby name experts”).
http://learntheblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/freakonomics/
What do you suppose she majored in?
This movie (and the book) makes a good point. We should stop trying to predict what people are going to do in certain situations and instead first consider their incentives AND THEN predict their actions. Once you understand people’s incentives it becomes much easier to predict what they’re going to do. All too often when we view the world we wrongly interpret correlations as causality when, in fact, causality is the greatest mystery behind the veil of what we think we see.
This was light-hearted, funny and informative. Most should be able to enjoy it.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Shrine (2010), a different story told in a very different way
MY CALL: An effective low budget horror telling a different story with some less utilized, effective methods. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: This movie reminded me of Dagon (2001), which was also a pleasant surprise.
I chose to watch this movie thinking “Man, it’s been a while since I deliberately watched a movie that I knew would be awful.” Then I learned who was behind it. Director Jon Knautz brought us Jack Brooks Monster Slayer (2007) which, by the way, was a surprisingly fun horror comedy with a humble budget tactfully utilized. So now I had reason to be optimistic. Then I saw some surprisingly positive reviews on Amazon…now I’m really intrigued. How have I–The Horror Czar and founder of John’s Horror Corner–never heard of this until both Netflix and Amazon “suggested” it?
Carmen (Cindy Sampson; Supernatural, Being Human) is a journalist investigating the disappearance of an American tourist in Poland–evidently this tourist is one of many to disappear near a small village. She is joined by her photographer boyfriend Marcus (Aaron Ashmore; Warehouse 13, Lost Girl, Smallville) and Carmen’s colleague Sara (Meghan Heffern; The Fog [the 2005 remake], Chloe).
When they arrive to the strange, time forgotten village they are met by the most inhospitable people. In fact, the locals are quite hostile! Amid a mix of fear and anger the locals manage to shoe off the Americans. Deciding to ignore some obvious warning signs, our journalists venture into the nearby woods in which an other-worldly fog surrounds a shrine. It’s a statue of a demon…and it is CREEPY.
The strangeness of this story accelerates when our investigators are captured by the locals, who speak Polish (without subtitles) and force the Americans to “participate” in a creepy, brutal ritual. As the movie progresses, we learn more about what these people are trying to accomplish with this ritual.
A lot of the dialogue in this movie is in Polish, but isn’t subtitled for the audience. This is an interesting approach on the director’s part. Many movies will have a scene or two in which we’re meant to be as nervous as the protagonist over what it is their captors might be saying. But, in this film, this persists. This keeps the nature of their rituals all the more mysterious. This storytelling strategy (or secretive strategy) is what clearly separates this film from so many others. I, for one, rather appreciated that the director considered his audience to be capable of following this story without holding our hand via subtitles. After all, we’d never feel the Americans’ terror of “not” knowing what they’re saying when we “do know” what their intentions are. We don’t need our hands held.
The blood work and gore was effective with some nasty, brutal scenes. But the latex-based make-up work was very disappointing; far too ambitious for too small a budget and too little talent. Thankfully, the scenes were well-composed enough to defend themselves against this technical flaw.
The best word to describe this low budget horror release would have to be effective. Most horror actually fails to deliver any sense of horror beyond a few jump-scares or some too-gross-to-look moments or torture-porn-esque limb-sawing tactics. This movie succeeded at being truly creepy and mysterious. There may be better films out there aiming to accomplish the same goals, but probably not with such a low budget.
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The Painted Skin: Resurrection (2012), a Chinese romantic tragedy in an action fantasy setting
http://jbspins.blogspot.com/2012/08/painted-skin-resurrectionprepare-to.html
MY CALL: A poetic, Chinese romantic fantasy tragedy with a dash of stylistic anime-esque action. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Maybe Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000), Shinobi (2005) or Legend of the Tsunami Warrior (2008). All enjoy their own stylistic brand of action, love and fantasy.
http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cinema-file-90-painted-skin.html
The Fox Demon
This mythology-flavored story begins when a fox demon in the form of a beautiful woman (Xun Zhou; Cloud Atlas, Painted Skin) is freed from an icy prison by her bird demon sister (Mini Yang; Wu Dang). They are called demons. But they’re not your typical satanic, drooling, toothy-mawed monster demons. They’re more like evil immortal beings.
The obscure story is driven by our two female leads. The millennia-old Fox seeks the willing heart of a mortal man in order to become human and a warrior Princess (Wei Zhao; Red Cliff, Painted Skin) who hides a facial battle wound behind a mask seeks her one past love (Kun Chen; Flying Swords of Dragon Gate, Painted Skin). They meet and the Fox offers to help the princess–a favor which comes with a price. The rest of the story is hard to explain without giving too much away…I won’t even try. All I’ll say is that this is a romantic tragedy told in a fantasy setting in which all of the love-seeking protagonists are deeply and differently flawed.
http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cinema-file-90-painted-skin.html
http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cinema-file-90-painted-skin.html
The Fox and the princess making a deal that will change both of their lives.
This film makes every effort to please the eyes with long wispy dresses, impossibly long hair flowing in the wind, a scintillatingly colored wardrobe for the Fox and princess, and CGI-enhanced lighting. The CGI elements are far behind their time, much as we would see in an early 90s movie (when it would have been first rate). However, despite its obviousness, it is occasionally crisp and beautiful…other times just plain lame.
http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cinema-file-90-painted-skin.html
The Bird Demon enjoys the comic relief in the movie when she encounters a demon hunter.
The special effects techniques–among other components of the film–contribute to a strong sense of high fantasy with story-telling that feels like a story-driven videogame. The presence of a dire bear, magical items, forbidden love and demons contribute to this feeling.
http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-cinema-file-90-painted-skin.html
Though rare, the action is uniquely stylized. While I am often disappointed by film editing which obscures the execution of techniques such that you don’t really “see” them being executed from start to finish in one clip, this film delivers action in a way that I can compare to none other; it’s impressive. Some of these moves couldn’t possibly be executed by stunt men and sometimes CGI-ing the impossible just cheapens the experience. Yet here I enjoyed it as I would a comic book, a glimpse at a time with a notion of anime-action transition. It’s hard to explain.
http://kianfai87.blogspot.com/2012/07/ii-painted-skin-resurrection-2012.html
The finale may be exciting for early teens, but I found it all quite silly. This movie fell apart in the last 40 (of 130) minutes for me. But I guess it was still worth watching this beautiful movie.
Movies, Films & Flix 