Big Budget Bonanza: The Dark Knight Rises
The Dark Knight Rises (July 20, 2012)
Batman battles Bane while dealing with Catwoman.
Joining these three are Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Nestor Carbonell and Gary Oldman.I’m not worried about the massive cast because Christopher Nolan is involved. The man has made short-term memory loss, insomnia and magicians intriguing.
I love the Bane storyline and I have the comic where Bane breaks Batman’s back. (Thanks Don. V). The casting of Tom Hardy is perfect because if you’ve watched the movies Bronson and Warrior you know he is a formidable man who can act. I’m hoping Bane vs. Batman will be a battle for the ages.
The loudest criticism from the fan boys is that Bane’s voice is inaudible beneath the mask. Early previews left audiences wondering what Bane was saying. Nolan recently cleared up the sound levels and assured worried fans that they wouldn’t need subtitles. With great success comes very needy fans.
My biggest hope is that this film doesn’t turn out to be Pirates 3 or Matrix 3. I’m hoping that the Batman saga gets the conclusion it needs…………until they make the next one.
Why you should watch this: This movie has a lot to live up to. Chris Nolan has added a plethora of new characters into the mix and it will be interesting to see how they are incorporated into the Batman world. There has been a lot of criticism about Bane’s mask and how well people can hear his voice. The Dark Knight Rises will be a big time spectacle that is expected to be intelligent and violent. I’m hoping the Nolan Batman saga ends with a bang.
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Big Budget Bonanza: Prometheus
Prometheus
Ridley Scott goes back to Alien territory with the coolest cast of 2012 (Idris Elba, Charlize Theron, Noomi Rapace, Guy Pearce, Michael Fassbender, Patrick Wilson, Rafe Spall). Everything about this film looks cool. I bet the thing that Ridley Scott is pointing at is cool.
This movie is a prequel to Alien that takes place in the same world but isn’t directly a prequel. I’m certain the only person who isn’t confused about the plot is Sir Ridley Scott himself. There is a whole lot of secrecy surrounding this project and it has me intrigued. Scott is talking a big game about Prometheus and I’ve been craving a decent acid blood spewing Alien flick for a long time. These pictures drip of cool so I’m stoked.
Why you should watch it: It is an Alien prequel that might or might not tell the story of the space jockey. This will be a visual delight much like the beautiful film Sunshine that will provide science fiction fans with a new world to ponder.
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Big Budget Bonanza: Men in Black III
Men in Black III
This movie has been through rewrites, re-shoots and new casting. The buzz surrounding this BIG budget film is a mixture of curiosity and hope. Early word is not good but I wouldn’t bet against Will Smith. People love seeing him on-screen and the goodwill from the first MIB has not disappeared.
MIB 3 revolves around J (Will Smith) going back to the 1960s and teaming up with a young K (Josh Brolin) to save the earth. Along the way they deal with cheeky aliens, cool toys and large space ships.
The coolest aspect of this film is the appearance of Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Concords) as the bad guy. The original MIB had a great villain so I’m hoping Mr. Clement will provide a unique force of cosmic funny and menace.
I’m assuming he will be helped by curiously cast Nicole Scherzinger who looks to be giving him a cake to escape prison. The newest preview keeps their characters under wraps. Also, kept out of the preview is Alice Eve playing a younger version of Emma Thompson’s Oh.
Why you should watch this: Will Smith is always good, Tommy Lee Jones deadpans like no other and Brolin seems to have TLJ’s mannerisms perfected. This movie has an air of secrecy around it that has me intrigued. Will this movie be a huge misstep or will it be benefited by the re-shoots, rewrites and delays?
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Big Budget Bonanza: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer
I really want to see this movie. I listened to the audiobook and I loved the detailed biography with a sprinkling of vampire violence. What makes this movie better is that insane Russian director Timur Bekmanbetov is making this film. Also, the cast is full of people I like (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Anthony Mackie, Dominic Cooper, Rufus Sewell).
I guarantee you will NEVER see another movie where Abraham Lincoln swings an axe convincingly while chopping up the undead. This is going to be a visual feast with an 1800s vibe. I cannot wait to see honest Abe bust some heads.
Why you should watch this: A crazy Russian director + a great screenplay = a visual feast full of vampires getting hit by axes.
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Martha Marcy May Marlene
Mesmerizing, haunting and tense. Martha Marcy May Marlene is a fantastic debut for director Sean Durkin and star Elizabeth Olsen.
Olsen is incredibly watchable with her unique features and ability to quickly yet subtlety float between naivety, anger, paranoia and girlishness. You never feel like she is acting. It doesn’t feel like some actress pouting in front of the camera whilst the director pans slowly over a wide shot. Olsen’s Marcy May is a person who is smart enough to escape a cult but still shell-shocked by all the things she has seen. Imagine harboring the verbal and mental scars of two years of horror while trying to act normal at a swanky dinner party. She needs her family but they don’t understand her because she doesn’t know how to communicate years of insanity and brain washing.
The film draws you in by being compulsively watchable. Your eyes are drawn to the screen due to Olsen’s natural performance and John Hawkes increasingly threatening character. He is an ultra skinny alpha male who has a way with words to mask the venom and insanity flowing through his blood stream. He is the type of man who will do something terrible to you then convince you that it was good for you. Everytime he is on-screen you realize this man could take confused homeless youth and turn them into his followers. Hawkes manages to be insane without acting crazy. The fact that this willowy man becomes a threatening force is a credit to the writing and acting.
The film feels natural without being pretentious. It creates dread without scaring you. It shocks you without being graphic. Watch this movie in a dark room with the phone off. You will be doing yourself a big disservice if you don’t give it all your attention.
The only complaint I have is the eating and drinking sound effects. The beer drinking is accompanied with loud fake slurps and the eating is very squishy. When you are immersed in a world there is nothing worse than slurps and squishes.
Watch Martha Marcy May Marlene. Butcher the title multiple times. Love the fact that there are engrossing movies like this.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: AVP/AVPR/Predators
These three movies hold a special place in my heart. They’ve taught me that even the best ideas can be screwed up. All three of them featured spectacular ideas that couldn’t be capitalized on because they forgot to create likable characters. For instance, Predators (read the review) focused on a bunch of tough bland people being sent to a planet to be hunted. The movie lacked any suspense and featured Adrien Brody speaking like he had gravel in his mouth and was coming off a severe sore throat
AVPR brought back the R rating but the dialogue and characters were so poorly realized you had to laugh. You couldn’t appreciate the Alien/Predator hybrid that was running amuck because you were two busy scratching your head at the dumbness of it all.
I would love to teach a class about these bad films because every ingredient was in place. Every measurement was perfect, the oven was preheated to perfection and a fool-proof timer was set.. However, something strange happened in the oven. Something unexplainable.
I would love to write a syllabus on the badness of these films. Chapter one would be entitled “Weyland’s Folly.”
When I was at FSU I watched AVP with my friend 9.5 (he said he was a 9.5 out of 10 on the good-looking scale) and his brother Legs (looked like a barbarian…shaved his legs) We would laugh at the ineptitude and shared many inside jokes that would annoy casual acquaintances. Eight years later we still quote one line from this film.
“Don’t turn your back on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
This is the best scene in a movie full of bad (in a great way) moments. Weyland’s folly refers to the most unnecessary cheap shot in the history of film. If you’ve followed the AVP series you will know that Lance Henriksen played the cyborg Bishop in the classic Aliens. In this film you see him before he becomes a cyborg. In AVP he is a billionaire who has the sweetest inhaler ever.
He leads an expedition to Antarctica where they get stuck in a large pyramid where predators hunt aliens. Things go bad and everybody dies. One of the victims is Mr. Henrikson.
This is how it goes down. A predator grabs Weyland and scans his guts to check his health. The monster sees that Lance is ridden with cancer so he lets him live. Weyland is put down gently and the predator starts walking away. However, when the dreadlocked creature is several steps away Lance tries to light it on fire.
When Lance unleashes the flame you think it will be a huge blast that will incinerate the unsuspecting creature. However, when the flame hits the predator it simply wipes it off. Lance quickly gets stabbed by a large blade and the monster walks away saddened.
This epic moment was so un-epic that it became epic. The predator was going to let him live and got second degree burns for being nice.
These three movie are much like the Weyland Folly. They could have lived and planned out a better attack. However, they ignored all logic and went straight to futility.
Next week we will cover Chapter two. I will call it “PG-13?”
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Big Budget Bonanza: Snow White and the Huntsman
Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1, 2012)
A morose Kristen Stewart picks up a steel sword and battles an evil queen while an odd posing huntsman attempts to woo her via strategic hunting techniques.
I don’t know much about this film but the cast intrigues me. Any movie that can gather Stewart, Hemsworth, Theron, Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Ian McShane and Eddie Marsan must have something going for it. We are at least guaranteed good acting in a bad movie.
This movie is the “huh?” film of 2012. Who pitched this? Who thought Stewart could be a believable action star? Why did Hemsworth trade a hammer for an axe? Will the apple be red or green?
Why you should see this: Strange casting and the wonderment of whether or not Stewart can pick up a steel sword is worth the watch. Also, Hemsworth and Theron make anything watchable. This is big budget film that will look great and potentially be a fun Medieval popcorn flick. An added bonus is that it will be dueling with the cheeky Snow White movie Mirror Mirror.
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Wanderlust
Wanderlust is all over the place. It is like a roller coaster twisting between the absurd and the predictable. It works best when it is exploring the multiple zany characters that exist in David Wain’s (Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models) world.
The film focuses on two uptight/unemployed New Yorker’s who start living in an intentional community (AKA Hippie Commune). The residents are all kooky and the concept of doors is nonexistent to them.
The movie doesn’t work when it is exploring whether or not Rudd and Aniston should be monogamous amidst the hippies. The plot goes off course and delivers 20 minutes of Paul Rudd improvisation. Normally, I’m all for Ruddisms but it seemed to slow the plot.
You love the crazy characters that exist in Wain’s films. This movie doesn’t disappoint. Ken Marino and his wife Michaela Watkins steal the show as Rudd’s brother and sister-in-law. Their house is an example of perfect set decoration. It is full of DVDs, Televisions, BBQs and Margarita mixers. You can tell Marino wrote the script because his character gets the best moments in the film.
The reason to watch this film is for the little character moments. Whether they are driving cars into ponds, writing books about Washington D.C. or hating Paul Rudd’s guitar solos. However, The overall plot is extremely thin and predictable to a fault. When it sticks too closely to the familiar it loses the unique charm of a Wain joint.
I am a big time David Wain fan. Wet Hot is a miracle of randomness and Role Models created a rare blend of funny and likable characters amidst a world of larking (fake medieval warfare).
This film shows he is more confident behind the camera but it also proves he needs a few more films to blend the random with the normal.
Watch Wanderlust. Dig the characters. Learn that it is easy to get your car in a lake.
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Big Budget Bonanza: The Hunger Games
The Hunger Games (March 23, 2012)
Goodbye Bella. Hello Katniss!
The Most Dangerous Games + No Escape + The Running Man + Good Teen Drama = The Hunger Games
I am stoked to see this movie. My girlfriend read the three book series in one week and she filled me in on the plot while driving to Florida. I love the plot, Jennifer Lawrence is a perfect choice for Katniss and the cast and set design look great. This is a neat story that hopefully will erase the taste of Twilight from everyone’s minds.
The midnight pre-sale screenings have already broken sales records. Which is encouraging. The Hunger Games is a unique story that should be rewarded with an international fanbase. This movie looks to get it right.
An added bonus is that Woody Harrelson wears a crazy wig.
I still have a hard time believing that fans of the book complained about the casting of Jennifer Lawrence (X-Men First Class, Winters Bone). Lawrence has proven capable of playing strong young adults who are sassy and smart.
Why you should see it: The books are loved and the story is intriguing. Also, the movie needs to make a lot of money to warrant a sequel.
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Big Budget Bonanza: G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation
G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation (June 29, 2012)
Many people disliked the G.I. Joe movie that came out a few years ago. The general thought was that it was CGI dumb and it was lampooned for its marketing push around Sienna Miller’s costume. I understand all of the complaints but for some reason my brain was able to turn off its “logic, intelligence and rational thinking” synapses. I enjoyed the movie despite all of its flaws. It was popcorn entertainment that I didn’t expect to be good.
This new G.I. Joe seems leaner, meaner and kills off almost all the original characters and brings back some from the dead. Director Jon. M Chu must have seen Byung-Hun Lee in I Saw the Devil and requested him back as a sweaty Storm Shadow.
The wisest addition to the cast is The Rock. He is guaranteed sequel gold (Fast Five, Journey 2). I’m also stoked to see Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights) and Joseph Mazzelo (The Pacific). They will bring a healthy dose of acting and karate chops.
From what I gather from the trailer is that COBRA is kicking ass and a few badass Joes have to fight back. This will be no easy task because they will have to defeat tough guy extraordinaire Ray Stevenson and his masked minions.
The trailer did a great job of showing a grittier plot and rocked a thumping White Stripes techno remix of Seven Nation Army. Watch for the random Bruce Willis cameo in which he does that face when he shoots a gun. I’m wagering Joe 2 is going to be a decent popcorn flick that will improve upon the original.
Why you should see it: The Rock + Bruce Willis = a new and improved G.I. Joe that ditches the dumb for a slightly less dumb.
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