John’s Horror Corner: WitchTrap (1989), a haunted house movie that isn’t really a “witch movie” you could probably skip.
MY CALL: Another passable yet forgettable installment in 80s horror. MORE MOVIES LIKE WitchTrap: I’d stick with Night of the Demons (1988) and Witchboard (1986).
We open with some extra hokey haunting shenanigans with wild camera work. I’m not saying that means this movie can’t be good. But we’re off to a questionable start…
Hired by an heir to the valuable but haunted “Lauter house” estate of his uncle Avery Lauter (J.P. Luebsen; Witchboard)—which is now nicknamed the Slaughterhouse after a recent and unexplainable death—parapsychologist Dr. Agnes Goldberg (Judy Tatum; Witchboard) recruits physical medium Whitney (Kathleen Bailey; Night Visitor), mental medium Felix, and video technician Ginger (Linnea Quigley; Silent Night Deadly Night part 2, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4, Creepozoids) to investigate and exorcise the Slaughterhouse ghost.
Evidently, Avery Lauter was an alleged warlock of great power, who just may have removed his own heart, which was never found after his death. This movie has loads of long-winded exposition to make sure all viewers understand every little thing ad nauseum. It’s a bit of a struggle and unnecessary—but perhaps superior to the alternative of an ill-explained plot and then having a bunch of unrelated things seemingly happen for no reason (e.g., Ghosthouse). Still, much of this dialogue is just plain painful. There are some excruciating line readings… almost like the actor just had one take and read as if they thought the sentence was going to continue. Enhancing the cheapness, there’s a creepy, horndog, homicidal groundskeeper (Hal Havins; Night of the Demons, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) who serves no real purpose in the movie.
So our paranormal team arrive at the house, set up recording equipment, get comfortable, and start dying. Let’s assess the death scenes. The showerhead death scene is super brief, but remains oddly satisfying. The “ghost bullet” and ax to the head death scenes were likewise quick but passable. There’s also a lame but gooey wax-melting death. But there’s nothing special about the death scenes of effects. Each medium has bouts of spasms as Avery’s ghost attempts to manifest through them. And when Avery speaks through the physical medium Felix, we never feel much urgency.
In the end, our hero captures Avery’s spirit essence in a Ghostbusters-ripped off containment unit while they reunited his cursed heart with his remains in the sacrilegious chapel in the attic of the house. Then, just like in Witchboard 1-2, our ghost possesses Whitney, finishes his ritual of immortality, manifests his physical form, and dies with the destruction of the remains of his heart.
This movie is not Kevin Tenney’s (The Cellar, Night of the Demons, Witchboard, Witchboard 2) best work. Not horrible. But also not good. Pretty forgettable, though.
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Mark and Erik discuss the 1988 bartending drama Cocktail. Directed by Roger Donaldson, and starring Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue, Bryan Brown and lots of flair bartending, the movie focuses on a guy named Brian who makes cocktails and has big dreams. In this episode, they also talk about flipping bottles, sad endings, and Tom Cruise’s filmography. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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Late Night With the Devil (2023) – Review
Quick Thoughts – Grade – B+ – Directed and edited by Cameron and Colin Cairnes, this low-budget horror film packs a fun punch and features a wonderful lead performance from David Dastmalchian. If you’re a fan of single location horror films that feature a fun spin on possession horror, I totally recommend this movie.
I love IFC horror films. Between Skinamarink, Hatching, Come True, The Vigil, Relic, The Devil’s Candy, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, The Babadook, Berberian Sound Studio, Antichrist, The Human Centipede and Kill List, IFC has found a way to unleash interesting and innovative horror films on the masses. One of the best things about Late Night With the Devil is how it gives horror hound David Mastmalchian a chance to headline a film in a genre he loves. Dastmalchian describes himself as “a monster kid, a horror nerd deep in my dark and twisted little heart,” and it’s an article he wrote for Fangoria about horror hosts that got him the Late Night With the Devil gig. He’s been great in Prisoners, The Last Voyage of the Demeter, The Boogeyman, The Belko Experiment and Bird Box, but seeing him play a struggling late night host looking to boost his ratings with supernatural hijinks is a delight.
What’s great about Late Night With the Devil is how straight-forward the story is. There are some twists and turns that take place over the fateful night, but by keeping things simple inside the television studio set, the Cairnes brothers allow the actors to shine in their roles. Without spoiling anything, the movie revolves around a desperate late-night talk show host named Jack Delroy (Dastmalchian), who hosts Night Owls with Jack Delroy – a popular show that lives in the shadow of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Jack has been recently widowed, and after a short hiatus, he returns for his sixth season with more controversial topics in an attempt to gain some viewers. Jack is obviously broken and shattered from the loss of his wife, and in his attempt to regain his lost magic he makes several bad decisions that lead to a night of supernatural mayhem. The movie focuses on the taping of a Halloween-themed episode that involves a parapsychologist named Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) and her patient Lilly (Ingrid Torrelli), who survived the mass suicide of a religious cult and is most certainly possessed by some form of evil entity. Joining them are a magic skeptic named Carmichael the Conjurer (Ian Bliss) who questions Dr. June’s tactics, and is hell bent on proving that Lilly’s possession is a hoax. What follows is a trip towards inevitable destruction that is equal parts fun, scary and inventive.
With a current box office haul of $6.5 million (which is huge for IFC), and a bit of AI controversy, the movie has gotten a lot of press and it’s nice seeing the tiny-budgeted horror movie make waves internationally. You can tell that Cameron and Colin love horror movies (and their interviews prove this) and this low-budget homage to the cinema of the 1970s is absolutely worth a watch and the 7.5 IMDb and 97% Tomatometer scores reflect the quality of the movie.
Final thoughts – Watch it now!
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John’s Horror Corner: The Cellar (1988), the classic story of young boy versus the monster in the basement.
MY CALL: For 75 minutes this movie tries to cultivate a rich story and meaningful characters while slogging you through an occasional monster claw and general boredom. The last 10 minutes, however, is a blast of creature effects and silly nonsense. So this is probably a recommendation more for the “bad movie” fans than it is to the general 80s horror crew. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Cellar: I’d actually recommend Under the Bed (2012). It’s more what you hoped for when imagining a kid versus the monster in the basement or closet, etc, but with solid horror effects and no cutesy crap. For more cellar horror, consider Cellar Dweller (1988) and The Cellar (2022). For more horror with Native American themes, try Wolfen (1981), Scalps (1983), Poltergeist II (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987) or The Manitou (1978).
A solemn narration about Indian curses and consequences of the white man’s broken promises warns of a cursed tunnel in director Kevin Tenney’s (Arrival II, Night of the Demons, Witchboard, Witchboard 2) tale of a boy versus the monster in his basement–a Native American monster created to eat all the promise-breaking white men.
Mance (Patrick Kilpatrick; The Toxic Avenger, Class of 1999, Scanner Cop II, The Granny) and Emily (Suzanne Savoy; I Come in Peace) move out to a rural Texas desert town for work. The local drunk TC (Ford Rainey; Halloween II) sells his old, cursed house to them—and, given the dialogue, we are to assume it is where the aforementioned “cursed tunnel” lies. The Comanche chief disapproves of the couple occupying the home. Yet TC naively believes the chief can keep them safe. But we didn’t sit down to watch a movie about a couple safely living in a cursed house, did we?
Several scenes feature Native Americans in the background performing rituals, likely to keep the evil spirit at bay. This usually seems linked to thick green goop bubbling up from the ground (liquid evil?), which may be further linked to the cursed tunnel and a sign of how the cursed evil presence has defiled some of the local land.
Investigating the basement for animals going bump in the night and waking up his boy Willy (Chris Miller), Mance finds a slimy, flooded, sewer-like tunnel. Once he learns from the chief about the monster living beneath them that was created by a medicine man to kill all the white men… well, he’s naturally a bit skeptical. But not Willy!
Willy sets a bear trap and catches the giant rat creature. Later he confronts the beast with fire. These horror kids are brave! Both times we see just enough of the monster to not feel cheated. But still too little to be truly satisfying. Maybe if the camera lingered juuust a bit longer we’d notice too many flaws.
The creature effects start slow, with a rubber monster arm grabbing at a boy from a muddy sinkhole, dragging him to his death and it’s so laughably boring it’s. A “crow attack” leads to an incredibly dull car crash death. The coolest visual might be a chewed-off monster claw in a bear trap or seeing the muppet-headed monster rat’s jaw “fall” open. But I promise, it gets better, even if very late. Finally in the last 10 minutes we really get a good look at this monster and it looks pretty cool. So where was this for the first 75 minutes of the movie? The monster is a guy in a rubber suit, it slowly crawls toward its victims, and it is gnarly! The monster attacks and action are incredibly clumsy. But seeing the kid stab a clearly hollow and collapsing rubber monster head with a spear made up for some of the otherwise crappy monster attack with a good giggle.
Rather boring until the passably entertaining final 10 minutes, this movie is not good. It’s not really ‘so bad it’s good’ either—but opinions may differ on that. But I didn’t mind it. Having entered this with very low expectations, I found it a bit enjoyable. I’m definitely not recommending it to anyone. Still, this movie tries so hard to give us a substantial story with somewhat meaningful characters. The budget, however, rather unforgivingly did not permit enough actual horror or entertainment. Or so, that’s my take on it.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Buried Alive (1989), loosely adapted from an Edgar Allan Poe story, this is a “higher quality” bad movie.
MY CALL: Very, very loosely based on Poe’s “The Premature Burial,” this is among the finer curated Bad Movie Tuesday selections. It’s not slapstick nor deliberately stupid, there are no cheap rubber guts to be found, it’s only moderately campy, and some of the acting is proficient enough. But the writing and ridiculous story points concoct a most engaging lunacy that I particularly enjoyed much more than expected. MORE MOVIES LIKE Buried Alive: If you’re looking for more movies adapted from Edgar Allan Poe’s work, consider The Fall of the House of Usher (2023), Two Evil Eyes (1990), The Black Cat (1989; aka, Il gatto nero, Demons 6), The Black Cat (1981; Gatto nero), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), The Pit and the Pendulum (1991) and The Haunting of Morella (1990).
This movie is pretty ludicrous from the start. A teenage girl runs away from the Ravenscroft juvenile delinquent boarding school only to be intercepted by a masked man, who apparently somehow expected exactly when AND exactly where this girl would be (and on exactly which night she’d run away), who drops her down a trap door near the interstate that leads to his lair. So, the route she chose to run away just happened to be right where this trap-doored underground lair was? What if she ran literally any different direction, or even ran at a slightly different angle from the facility? Oh, well… our masked assailant then beats the girl, sedates her, puts her in a straight jacket, and lays brick to wall her off in the dark chamber of her death.
Presumably crediting (or falsely crediting) Edgar Allan Poe as a ploy to attract interest in his movie, adult film director Gérard Kikoïne introduces us to the girls of Ravenscroft like it was a women’s penitentiary movie. The girls are all hard delinquents who spit swears and threats to one another with every available breath. Among the students are Debbie (Ginger Lynn; Murdercise, New York Ninja, 31, The Devil’s Rejects) and Fingers (Nia Long; 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, Stigmata), and even a boyfriend (William Butler; Ghoulies II, Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood, Spellcaster, Texas Chainsaw Massacre III).
Starting her first day as a science teacher, Janet (Playboy Playmate Karen Witter/Lorre; Popcorn, The Vineyard) is introduced to the school by the headmaster Gary (Robert Vaughn; CHUD II, Zombie 5), who is clearly attracted to Janet in a weirdly obvious and inappropriate way. The weirdly eccentric Dr. Schaeffer (Donald Pleasence; Death Line, Prince of Darkness, Phenomena, Halloween 1-2/4-6) is also among the faculty, and this character feels like he’s from a completely different, much more zany movie. At times I half expect him to become wildly inappropriate with Janet, but that perverted flower never comes to blossom. Even the local Sheriff (Arnold Vosloo; The Mummy Returns, Odd Thomas) is sweet on Janet.
The recurring ominous presence of a black cat and the brick wall interment of victims harken Poe’s thematic influence. Janet’s visions of a pulsating brick wall provide a Telltale Heart-like sentiment. As girls disappear, Janet develops suspicions as well as more psychic visions prophetic of the girls’ fate. These visions include grabby hands from holes (and toilets), a lot of ants (for some reason), brick walls and a desperate old man (John Carradine; Evils of the Night, The Nesting, The Howling, The Sentinel).
A wonderfully gory mishap with a kitchen appliance fully de-scalps one of our delinquent co-eds. This was the scene that coaxed me to watch this movie! The scene is short, but sweet—and deliciously graphic as it yanks her flesh in one big slimy chonk from her skull! There’s also a trough head impalement and some gruesome ant-eaten corpses. But overall, this is not exactly a bloody gorefest.
While not especially eventful, this movie was surprisingly engaging. I was immersed in the bad dialogue, the weird quirky characters, the catty teen drama and shenanigans, and this weird delinquent boarding school built atop a labyrinthine subterranean mental asylum, which we learn once contained one of the main characters. The story is told with a straight face, yet it is all conceptually bonkers. At one point, Gary proposes to Janet with a ring without ever having a kiss or a date or anything. And no, you wouldn’t think some scenes got it. It just force marches its insanity right at you at a steady pace.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 551: Red Scorpion, Dolph Lundgren and 1980’s Action Movies
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and John discuss 1988 action film Red Scorpion. Directed by Joseph Zito, and starring Dolph Lundgren, Al White, M. Emmet Walsh, and some short shorts, the movie focuses on what happens when a disgraced Russian soldier starts blowing up everything in sight. In this episode, they also talk about grenade logistics, bar fights, and terrible productions. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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John’s Horror Corner: Die’ced (2023), a moderately bloody, very mean, underfinanced Scarecrowification of Art the Clown.
MY CALL: This is an ultra-low budget, poor man’s Terrifier (2016). MORE MOVIES LIKE Die’ced: Well, obviously Terrifier (2016) and Terrifier 2 (2022). They’re both superior at what Die’ced aims to be.
Once I heard the buzz that writer and director Jeremy Rudd (The Dark Side) had created a movie much in the same vain as Terrifier (2016) and Terrifier 2 (2022), the movie had my attention and I knew I needed to see it, low budget or not. Some of us are gorehounds for the simple love of blood and guts cast across the screen. Some seek the curious thrills of the meaner and more boundary-pushing films that are emotionally and/or viscerally hard to watch. Still, others of us find an internalized, personal trauma-processing benefit from these types of films, like a form of therapy. I am all three. And if you feel you are none of the above, then I suggest you steer clear of this movie as well as anything to which it has been compared.
Halloween eve 1987, high schooler Cassandra (Eden Campbell; The Mortuary Collection, They Reach, Fear Street Part 2: 1978) is getting ready for a Halloween house party. Naturally, her friends and loved ones will feed the body count.
After his accidental discharge, a patient with dissociative identity disorder and a penchant for murder is set free upon the world. And despite his very adult skill set for murder, Benjamin (Jason Brooks; The Barn Part II) perceives himself as a child… a characteristic the movie goes out of its way to explain (creating some anticipation), but that we disappointingly never see realized on screen at all. Now Rudd readily acknowledges his inspiration from Art the Clown, and we see this in Benjamin’s inhumanly exaggerated features, not to mention that he, like Art, is a playfully homicidal mute and even has a few scenes that mirror Art’s.
Obviously, I wish this film had more money for its violence and gore. But the real noticeable flaw here was the writing. In some actors’ cases, the line delivery was as clunky as the written dialogue itself. Another minor issue was the clumsiness and filming, framing and angles of the physical altercations. Rudd has the kind of vision I like, but needs to hone his skills if others are to share his vision on the screen.
There’s plenty of blood, that’s for sure. There’s a sloppy, sticky, multi-choppy limb amputation, a woman is hammered to the floor, hands are severed, and the best gag was the eye-gauging skull split! A guy’s head is torn down the middle, bare-brained and all. Still, comparisons to Terrifier (2016) are only in “bullet point” form and never in the execution of these scenes. But again… budget is a factor. Not the only factor. But a significant factor, nonetheless.
I’d say much of the execution, gore, stunts and staging fall well below the quality of Terrifier (2016). But also general filmmaking experience was wanting. I imagine Rudd was a man of perhaps too many hats on this film. Or maybe many people handling many tasks (e.g., general photography) are still more green in the industry. I also don’t know if there was anyone handling stunts. It didn’t look to be the case anyway (I think the actors did everything). Truth be told, too much happens off-screen, out of view, or in obscured view. And sure, for the nth time, the money wasn’t there to better realize this on-screen.
This movie is just too ultra-low budget for me to enjoy. The graphic, gore-pleasing scenes were too few and far between. But truly, I still appreciate what Rudd is aiming for here and I’d like to see what he can do with a more workable budget. Whatever Rudd does next, I’m there. So frankly, if this was a job interview, then Rudd, you have my attention…
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 550: Backdraft (1991), Kurt Russell and Ron Howard
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and John Leavengood (@MFFhorrorcorner on X) discuss the 1991 action drama Backdraft. Directed by Ron Howard, and starring Kurt Russell, Robert De Niro, William Baldwin and some angry fire, the movie jams about eight plotlines into a single movie and still works really well. In this episode, they also talk about Kurt Russell’s hair, Ron Howard’s filmography, and rewatchable movies. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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MFF Data – Which R-Rated Action Film Should the Baseline for All R-Rated Action Films?
Several months ago, I was talking to someone about action movies, and they said something along the lines of “I only like action movies that are as good as Predator and Die Hard.” This led me to believe that they probably only like 14 action movies. This conversation lingered in my memory as I started thinking about the truly elite R-rated action films that have been released since 1968 (when the R-rating was created). How many stone-cold (Stone Cold is a hoot, BTW) classic R-rated action films are there, and should they be the measuring sticks for action movie quality? Comparing a stock R-rated action film to Die Hard is sort of like saying the local gym basketball hero isn’t good because they’re no Michael Jordan. There has to be a better set of action films that can act as the baseline for quality. For instance, have you watched the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle Eraser? It’s a cromulent action film that’s nowhere near Arnie’s best, but it’s a movie that features laser guns, reptile death, and a fun performance from Robert Pastorelli. It’s fine. It did well at the box office ($242 million worldwide haul), had decent critical scores (43%), and is considered to be a good time. Most importantly, it’s not a cult classic, none of the scores are Die Hard-level, and I’m 97.3% certain that 96% of people who watched it couldn’t remember the name of Arnie’s character when they were leaving the theater in 1996.
It’s because of this conversation that I pulled the data on 1,002 R-rated action movies to see how many “elite” films there are and to get a better idea of a baseline R-rated action film that should be the measuring stick of action film success. Of course, I had to draw upon my personal opinions to come up with the baseline R-rated action film, so when I suggest Timecop or Predator 2 should be considered I’m not saying the rest of the world should use those specific movies. I’m just suggesting that everyone finds their own “Timecop” and hopefully all this data will help
Baseline – definition – If it’s better than Timecop,, it’s a solid action film. If it’s worse than Timecop it’s probably not that great.
Here’s a breakdown of the rest of the data piece
- Share the overall critic/audience scores of 1,002 R-rated action films to let you know the averages
- Showcase the 20+ or so truly elite R-rated action films – based on their numbers
- Figure out which movies should be the baseline for quality by using the data and my subjective opinions after spending so much time with these action films.
Things I’ve taken into account
- Technically speaking, a movie could have a 100% Tomatometer score and only receive “B” grades from every critic. The 100% means that every critic likes it, not that every critic LOVES it
- IMDb and Letterboxd are fickle beasts that I love. This is why I included scores from multiple websites. I wanted different looks.
- I tried to pull the Metacritic scores for every R-rated action film on the list. However, it’s missing many scores, and dozens of them only have 6-10 reviews, which isn’t very comprehensive. I like the system; it just doesn’t have all the data yet, which is why I didn’t use it in my ranking system. The scores are still considered and are nice to have.
- There are many action films that were excluded for various reasons. They didn’t have a Tomatometer score or an MPAA rating. However, for movies like Train to Busan, which is “Not Rated,” I included it in the dataset because the violence and gore warrant an R-rating.
- When it came to what I considered to be an action film, I was liberal with my definition. I included movies like Platoon, Infernal Affairs, Battle Royale, Dog Soldiers, Unforgiven, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Deep Blue Sea, Blade Runner, and other films that include elements of action and suspense. I wasn’t just looking at movies like Under Siege and Lethal Weapon.
- I decided only to use R-rated action films because they are a different beast than their PG or PG-13 brethren. The Raid, Kill Bill, The Night Comes for Us, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, John Wick, and Total Recall hit much harder than Fast Five (Perfect), Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Beautiful), RRR (glorious action) and The Dark Knight (solid comic book mayhem). They are different animals so I’m keeping them separate.
Overall Averages for the 1,002 R-rated action movies
- Tomatometer – 54.9%
- Metacritic – 53.3%
- IMDb – 6.35
- Letterboxd – 3.0
Interesting numbers
- 105 R-rated action movies have a 90% or higher Tomatometer Score – which is more than I expected
- 527 movies have a Letterboxd rating in the range of 3.0 to 3.9
- Only 9 movies have a 90% or higher score on Metacritic
- Seeing these numbers in their final form was fun because they gave me some different looks and an idea of how they are received across multiple platforms.
- I included some charts and graphs below for people who like charts and graphs
Top R-Rated Action Films
I figured out the top-rated films by creating a ranking system (Letterboxd, IMDb, Tomatometer) and assigning each movie a total. Here’s an example of how Mad Max: Fury Road got its score and ranking.
Mad Max: Fury Road
- IMDb Score and Ranking – 8.1 – Tied for 8th place
- Tomatometer Ranking – 97% – Tied for 3rd place
- Letterboxd Ranking – 4.2 – Tied for 4th place
- Total – 15 (3 + 8 + 4 = 15) – The lower the better.
Here are the highest rated movies based on Rotten Tomatoes/IMDb/Letterboxd scores that were ranked. I ranked them because an average of the three isn’t fair when looking at Rotten Tomatoes scores which range from 0-100
Only 12 movies went 4-for-4 on my scale of greatness.
- 90% or higher Tomatometer score
- 4 or higher Letterboxd score
- 8 or higher IMDb score
- 70% or higher Metacritic score.
- I scoured IMDb (Top 250), Letterboxd, Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic for these scores. I feel good about them.
They are The Good and the Bad and the Ugly, Aliens, Ran, Saving Private Ryan, Mad Max: Fury Road, Unforgiven, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Departed, No Country for Old Men, Die Hard, For a Few Dollars More and Logan
Based on the all-time scale of “greatness,” only 1.19% of the movies in the dataset can be considered to have elite numbers. There are others like Hard Boiled, The Matrix, The Raid, RoboCop, and Enter the Dragon that are all-timers and are wildly iconic/influential, but they don’t go 4-for-4.
So, instead of comparing or basing the quality of an R-rated action film on unicorn creations, what movies should be the baseline for quality?
Normally, someone would just take the 10 movies that are ranked in the middle of this list and use them (the list will be included below). However, I examined all the movies with a total ranking between 80 and 125 to narrow down the field. I did this because some of the scores are wildly low (Man on Fire has a 39% Tomatometer score) and I felt like I needed to dig deeper.
- The overall average of the ranking system is 82.8 (+/- 3). In that range there are movies like Constantine, Kiss of the Dragon, Shooter, The Book of Eli, Blind Fury, Bloodsport, 30 Days of Night, Man on Fire, Fulltime Killer, and Deep Blue Sea. I consider these all to be solid action films that feature some iconic moments, excellent cinematography, cool fights, and an epic overhead shot of vampires destroying a town. I don’t consider any of them to be baseline action movies despite their scores being directly in the middle.
- Deep Rising has a 32% Tomatometer score – This kind of hurts my soul because it’s devilishly fun and features a jet ski action scene.
- Cliffhanger only has a 3.2 Letterboxd score – What?
- Deep Blue Sea has a 5.9 IMDb score. It should be 10 (it’s my favorite movie and I dedicated an entire podcast to it – Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast)
- All three Punisher movies have a 28-29% Tomatometer score and Letterboxd scores under 3. They all feature memorable moments that make them fun to watch. I’d never consider them to be baseline movies based on their personalities.
- Den of Thieves has a 41% Tomatometer score and a 7.0 IMDb score. Equilibrium has a 40% Tomatometer score and a 7.3 IMDb score. Elite Squad has a 51% Tomatometer score and a 8.0 IMDb score. Law Abiding Citizen has a 26% Tomatometer Score and a 7.4 IMDb score. They have Rotten Tomatometer scores, but I wouldn’t consider these three to be a baseline action film because of their excellent IMDb scores.
- There are a lot of these – which is why I took all three scores into account when putting together a list of movies to pick from.
- Based on the rankings, Universal Soldier sits at #711. It’s a beautifully weird action film that features an Oscar worthy performance from Dolph Lundgren.
I avoided cult classics (Cobra, Action Jackson, 30 Days of Night, Mindhunters) and movies that have low ratings – but have big personalities (Invasion U.S.A., Dark Angel, Cyborg, Gymkata, Gamer, Passenger 57) because a baseline action movie shouldn’t have a cult following or a big personality. I also decided that none of the films should have fresh scores or have scores more than 6.5 or 3 on IMDb and Letterboxd.
I narrowed it down to these films.
Which movie should be the baseline for all R-rated action films?’
Timecop (1994) – The reasons I’m going with Timecop are below.
- It’s a totally fine action film that somehow takes JCVD AND time travel and comes up with something that isn’t absurd – or wildly memorable beyond being entitled Timecop.
- It doesn’t have the cult status of Bloodsport or Kickboxer, and is nowhere as good as Universal Soldier, The Expendables 2, Hard Target, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, Kickboxer: Retaliation, or Sudden Death (beautiful kitchen fight). It’s better than Universal Soldier 2, Maximum Risk, Legionnaire, Double Team, and Desert Heat. It’s a mid-tier JCVD film.
- There is WAY too much plot. JCVD movies work best when things are kept simple. Try explaining Timecop succinctly to a friend, it gets unnecessarily complicated.
- The antagonist isn’t iconic. In fact, he seemingly spends most of the film munching loudly on peanuts.
- The JCVD doing splits scenes are great, but they are only there to showcase that JCVD can do splits.
- Once again, there is way too much plot.
- JCVD travels in time. It’s a great idea.
- Ebert’s 2-star review makes perfect sense. He likes it, but doesn’t love it.
- I considered Eraser and London Has Fallen but their IMDb scores are solid which means they have an appreciative audience.
Here’s every movie in the dataset
To read the list – The Good, The Bad and the Ugly is #1, Aliens is #2. Work your way down the 10 columns (Top 100 in first column). After crossing the 1,000 mark I felt like I had a pretty good data set and had most of the classics covered. If I missed anything that’s wildly glaring let me know.
Sorry about the small text and multiple pages (act like it’s all one page)
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 549: The Replacements, Shane Falco and Quicksand
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
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Mark and Norbert discuss the 2000 sports comedy The Replacements. Directed by Howard Deutch, and starring Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman, Brooke Langton, and some wild yam, the movie focuses on what happens when a rag-tag group of replacement players get recruited to play in the NFL. In this episode, they also talk about football movies, platitudes, and kicking a football while smoking a cigarette. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Movies, Films & Flix 