The Movies Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 540: Dragonslayer, Cranky Dragons, and Hot Lakes
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Mark and Adam Hodgins (of the GoFigure show on YouTube) discuss the 1981 fantasy film Dragonslayer. Directed by Matthew Robbins, and starring Caitlin Clarke, Peter MacNicol, Ralph Richardson and a cranky dragon, the movie focuses on what happens when a young wizard thinks he can defeat a powerful dragon. In this episode, they also talk about practical effects, 1980’s fantasy movies, and being the last of something.
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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MFF Data – Audiences and Critics Love Cold Stallone
While working on an assignment last year I was reminded that 1993 was a massive year for Sylvester Stallone. After several years of flops (Rocky V, Oscar, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot), Stallone needed a hit and they came in the form of Cliffhanger and Demolition Man. The critically respected action films pulled in over $400 million worldwide and gave Stallone’s career a much needed boost. These movies don’t have much in common (aside from being awesome), but they do feature Stallone in some very cold situations. In Demolition Man, he’s sentenced to decades inside an ice cube, and in Cliffhanger he battles John Lithgow atop the Rocky Mountains. This got me thinking about other Stallone movies and I started noticing a pattern. Between Rocky, First Blood, Rocky II, Rocky IV, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and The Expendables 2, his “Cold Stallone” films do well with critics and audiences when he’s in a cold location, or frozen inside an ice prison. Also, his love of fur coats inspired Ryan Gosling’s Ken character in Barbie. Good things happen when Stallone is cold.
Here are some examples:
- Expendables 2 – When he meets JCVD’s character for the first time, it’s cold outside. This is the only time in the franchise when Sly seems chilly, and it’s the highest rated film in the franchise.
- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – He’s introduced on an ice planet.
- Creed – Super cold – Sly’s highest-rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes
- First Blood – Super cold – Highest-rated Rambo movie
- Rocky IV – He goes to Russia and trains in the snow. It’s the highest grossing movie in the Rocky franchise.
- Creed and Rocky – He’s been nominated for three Academy Awards for his work in Rocky and Creed. Very cold.
I wanted to see if this assumption held up so I rewatched most of his films (I already knew he was super cold in Cliffhanger, Rocky 4, and Demolition Man) and lumped them into three categories
- Not Cold or Chilly – There are no instances in which he seems chilly
- Chilly – It’s not freezing outside, but it’s still cold. For instance, In Cobra, a character says “It’s getting cold out here, huh? Yeah. Better get inside..”
- Cold – In Creed II while he’s sitting by Adrian’s grave he rubs his hands together and blows warm air into them. Dude is cold. He doesn’t have to be cold for the entire film, he just needs to be really cold at least once.
Here are some quick overall stats for Stallone’s career
- Average Worldwide Box Office – $149 million
- Average Tomatometer Score – 44%
- Average IMDb User Score – 6.06
Box Office
- Cold – $193 million
- Chilly – $93 million
- Hot – $130 million
Tomatometer
- Cold – 63%
- Chilly – 38%
- Hot – 35%
IMDb
- Cold – 6.78
- Chilly – 5.98
- Hot – 5.725
Conclusion – Cold Stallone (plus a good script, direction, editing and solid supporting characters) is the best Stallone!
Take a look at this timeline and you’ll notice that Stallone is at his best (for the most part) when he’s cold.
Here’s a quick timeline to further solidify this dumb data.
- 1976 – Rocky – Cold
- 1979 – Rocky II – Cold – Huge hit – Elevated him further into A-list territory
- 1982 – First Blood – Cold – Excellent action film
- 1985 – Rocky IV – Cold – Highest grossing Rocky movie
- 1985 – 1993 – He had some big hits, but nothing huge or critically adored
- 1993 – Cold – Career Comeback – Demolition Man and Cliffhanger
- 1993 – 2006 – Had a few cool films like Copland and Daylight, but it wasn’t great
- 2006 – Cold – Rocky Balboa – It was smart going back to Rocky, and it was very smart to make him cold again.
- 2006 – 2012 – solid run, but nothing Oscar worthy or Rocky IV huge.
- 2012 – The Expendables 2 – Chilly (not cold) – $312 million worldwide. Only chilly Expendables movie and it made bank and has a Fresh Tomatometer score.
- 2016 – Cold – Creed – Huge hit and he got an Oscar nominated
- 2017 – Cold – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. II – Highest grossing film (unadjusted for inflation)
- 2018 – Cold – Creed II – Gross over $200 million and is one of his highest rated films
Here’s a breakdown of his stats so you can check them out. Sure, some of the Cold Stallone movies are soul crushing, but on average, it’s best to go with Cold Stallone.
If you’re bored and want to listen to some podcast episodes about Sylvester Stallone movies, On my Movies, Films and Flix podcast (you can find it anywhere), I’ve talked about Rocky 4 (Episode 526) – Driven (Episode 271), and Cliffhanger (Final Fights episode 32).
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MY CALL: Some blood, weak death scenes, no actual gore, and nothing scary. Still, solid characters and story (even if highly and obviously derivative) made this an experience I did not regret. I’m not recommending it. But I’m impressed with what was accomplished with little FX budget and a genuine care for at least passable writing in a genre starved for anything more than throwaway characters and often topless victims. MORE MOVIES LIKE Sorority House Massacre: For more sorority horror, try Black Christmas (1974), The House on Sorority Row (1982), The Initiation (1984), Sorority House Massacre II (1990), Black Christmas (2006) and Happy Death Day (2017). However, I’d skip the remakes of Sorority Row (2009) and Black Christmas (2006).
Giving her account from a hospital bed, Beth (Angela O’Neill; Grandmother’s House, Alien Nation) explains her recent stay at a sorority house that ended in mass murder. Her arrival was admonished by a trio of NOES-ish young girls during a surreal, mildly bloody nightmare. Then, by day, she has waking visions of a man with a knife interdimensionally stabbing at her. It seems that director Carol Frank is sampling some Freddy Kruegerisms. Meanwhile, in a nearby mental hospital, a male patient becomes rambunctious. He lives in a perpetual half-sleep state and has visions of Beth! Oh, boy. Yet another 80s slasher with a psychic link.
Our mental patient escapes from the hospital, steals a knife and a car, and heads to the sorority house which was once his house where he killed his entire family except for his little sister (spoiler alert, it’s Beth!)… in a manner that in no way smacks really hard of Michael Myers’ return to Haddonfield. And returning to the NOES connection, Beth awakens with a bloody knife wound that occurred during one of her visions. Yeah, Frank’s influences are pretty obvious.
The nudity is present, but not so salacious. I mean, it’s abundant but it never feels so dirty as typical horror nudity. Plus, as an equal opportunist movie, we see a guy scrambling and running from the killer totally buck naked as well. It’s refreshingly amusing seeing a naked dude sprint in sneakers and nothing else.
Our silent killer picks off the sorority girls and their boyfriends one by one in generally boring fashion. None of the death scenes are worthy of mention. I was annoyed by their simplicity and clearly budget-challenged execution.
This was director Carol Frank’s (The Slumber Party Massacre) second 80s slasher pitting a male slasher against a bunch of cute coeds. But despite the generally goreless, very weak death scenes, this movie was somewhat entertaining. The characters were likable and far above the typical slasher fodder, and the story—though blatantly highly derivative—actually worked. Not going out of my way to recommend this. But it’s not bad.
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MY CALL: If you often feel that horror fails to cultivate the dread, utter shock, and dire hopelessness it deserves, then this is the gut-punching atmospheric film you need in your life. That is all. MORE MOVIES LIKE When Evil Lurks: For more Argentinian horror, go for Terrified (2017). For something similarly primordial and utterly dire, try The Dark and the Wicked (2020). Additional Spanish language horror recommendations include The Passenger (2021; La Pasajera), The Platform (2019; aka El Hoyo), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and [REC] 1-3 (2007-2012)—but not [REC] 4 (2014).
Casual agrarian frontier life takes a dire turn when brothers Pedro (Ezequiel Rodríguez; Juego de Brujas, Legions) and Jimi (Demián Salomón; Into the Abyss, Satanic Hispanics) happen upon a mutilated body near their ranchland. The macabrely disfigured man who is claimed to be possessed by a demon threatens to birth greater evil upon the land.
Upon discovery of the bloated, oozing body of Uriel, it is imperative that they take his body far away and kill him to halt the evil inside him from moving to the next vulnerable soul, the unborn child of a neighbor. While often reduced to a group of panicked men discussing the matter on the ranch, the atmosphere is incredibly stressful. For what they feel they must do is as unsettling as the perceived consequences of inaction. Moving the corpulent demonic vessel is a likewise unnerving matter. He seeps pus from his lips when disturbed, and his skin is an amalgamation of bedsores and clusters of cysts. The very sight of Uriel admonishes what lies within.
Despite only affecting three small neighboring ranchland households, this dilemma feels intensely large. With no help from local authorities and uncertain of the best way to handle this unique problem, they do what they think is best. But to us viewers, their actions feel anything but.
From here, the wild superstition is as horrendous as the imagery is brutal. Characters are murdered under hopeless circumstances, for reasons combining possession and fear of demonic forces. As the story continues; the desperate superstition mounts. Leaving all possessions behind, burning clothes exposed to the evil, and fleeing the afflicted land eventually seems to be the only option. They run. The evil follows.
The cinematography and general camerawork are excellent! But what about blood and guts…? There is a brutally grounded abruptness to death in this movie. The special effects gore of the severed lower half of a man to the festering obese body of the ranchland neighbor Uriel will surely shock viewers. Multiple self-inflicted suicidal ax wounds to the face will leave you slack-jawed at the visuals as well as with other awkwardly unique and undeserving deaths. The animal attack comes out of nowhere and is truly astounding! In fact, this movie will make you nervous whenever you see a camera linger on an animal. Oh, and the car death… that, too!!! Not to mention a LOT of skull crushing squishy head trauma. Yeah, this film brings a lot to the table.
What this film lacks (for me) is a satisfying resolution to the story. Some people didn’t like the story or the “rules” of the possession because they didn’t fully get it—or so I’ve read online. But as someone who got it, I still didn’t care for the turns or revelations of the third act. However, even with this criticism stated, I thought this film was awesome and the execution of aspects I liked less remained thoughtfully crafted.
Writer and director Demián Rugna (Terrified, Cursed Bastards, Satanic Hispanics) has regaled horror fans again, and his greatest flaw may also be the source of his strength: his patience. After all, his previous feature film was in 2017! So rather than rush him, I simply hope he has another soul-rattling groundbreaker in store for us by 2029… but yeah, sooner would be better! In the meantime, I need to find the horror anthologies to which he has contributed short segments.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Evil (1978), this “classic” haunting would best be left forgotten in the 70s where you found it.
MY CALL: This was… not good. Lame, boring, bad death scenes… I have nothing good to say about this.
Perhaps because of the director’s (Gus Trikonis; Baywatch, Beauty and the Beast) general inexperience in the genre, the opening sequence feels unlike classic horror even though we viewers know better based, if nothing else, on the movie title alone. The property caretaker wanders through a huge house following the sounds of perhaps kids or women talking and giggling. It leads him to his fiery death at the basement furnace. So now, just in case the audience wasn’t sure, haunted!
Dr. Caroline Arnold (Joanna Pettet; Casino Royale) is a psychologist hoping to start a drug rehab center. She buys a grand Civil War-era mansion and hires a few friends and grad school interns to fix it up. But just as soon as she was deciding to buy the place, Caroline started having persistent visions of a ghostly form that only she can see, and it seems to be guiding her to something. Eventually it leads her to a dust-covered diary… and then other stuff.
Other than the ghostly sounds and form (seen by Caroline), we begin with the typical early-stage haunting antics. A dog freaks out, stumbling across a dead body in the dumbwaiter (the burned to death caretaker), the discovery of an archaically locked cellar door (that someone naturally unlocks), ghostly psychokinetic force throwing someone across a room and later rather aggressively undressing a women, doors are opening and slamming shut on their own, oh… and the house has locked and trapped everyone inside and rendered the glass windows unbreakable (apparently).
The death scenes… they’re not good. The burning death (caretaker) is just okay even if perhaps more shocking in the 70s. The electrical wire death is super lame as the victim is holding and shaking the wire which eventually is strangling him. Some dude just catches fire while climbing a rope. You know what… I’m done reviewing lame death scenes in this lame movie. Although, there is a pretty gnarly scene when a guy nearly buzzsaws off his own hand. But that’s about it. One scene that was meant to be intense felt nothing of the sort—again, I wonder if it would have been more intense by 70s standards. The theme here is that all the horror elements are falling short.
This was pretty much boring for its entire running time. So, here’s to another “classic” that would best be left forgotten. Lame. Not recommended.
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The 2023 Random Movie Awards! Mark and Megan hand out random awards to their favorite 2023 films. in this episode, you’ll hear them talk about Full Time, Poor Things, Perfect Days, Ferrari, Fremont, Bottoms, Dream Scenario, Godzilla Minus One, Past Lives, Fallen Leaves, Insidious: The Red Door, Scrapper, All of Us Strangers and many more 2023 films. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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The 2023 Random Movie Awards!
It’s the 2023 edition of the MFF Random Awards! I love putting these awards together and hopefully you’ll be inspired and watch some of the awarded films. If you’re bored please comment with your 2023 random awards. Also, make sure to listen to our 2023 Mid-Year Random Award episode.
Before checking out the awards, here are my 10 favorites films of 2023. This is based on how long the movies have lingered in my memory or featured a scene that floored me.
- Fist of the Condor – it’s a very unique Chilean action film that plays like an arthouse film.
- Past Lives – It’s beautiful, mature and patient.
- Sisu – Bombastic Finnish action film that GOES for it.
- Asteroid City – ScarJo and Schwartzman are perfect together.
- Full Time – A tense and stressful film that features the best ending of 2023.
- Polite Society – A thrillingly alive and fun movie.
- Plane – I love how simple and effective it is. Very refreshing.
- Perfect Days – It’s a relaxing film with some beautiful moments
- Priscilla – Sofia Coppola is the best.
- BlackBerry – Thrilling, fun and perfectly performed.
Here are the awards! Enjoy!
You Made Me Cry Award – The ending of Insidious: The Red Door made me cry. Seriously….
Best Luggage Work Award – Past Lives is one of the best 2023 movies, and it features some excellent luggage work.
Best Skype Work Award – Flora and Son will put a gigantic smile on your face and make you want to pay a guitar instructor for some lessons.
Best Securing of an Address Award – Fallen Leaves is an absolute charmer and I love the moment when the lead character secures an address.
Best Chocolates That Make You Drunk Award – Wonka is delightful and I’ve learned to always trust Paul King.
Best Experiencing the World Award – Emma Stone will win many awards for Poor Things, and I loved watching his experience the world (and annoy Mark Ruffalo)
Best Ending of the Year Award – Full Time is a stress bomb that features a very cathartic ending
Most Inspired Jacket Push Award – There’s a moment in Thanksgiving when a kid pushes the jacket on his girlfriend’s shoulders (put there by her ex-boyfriend) off onto the ground and it’s hilarious.
Best Sawing Off of a Leg Award – Only two Saw movies feature a limb being sawed off by a saw. Saw X is one of them.
Best Restaurant Tears Award – All of Us Strangers features a tear-jerking scene in a restaurant. It will hurt you.
Best Bug Punch Award – Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is a good time and I love when Momoa punches a large bug in the face.
Best Walking Award – Scrapper features the best walking of 2023. Watch it. You’ll see.
Best Worst Usage of an Axe – Holy moly, When Evil Lurks is a soul crusher.
I Want Like 50 More of These Movies Award – A Haunting in Venice is so good, and I want Kenneth Branagh to direct more Agatha Christie movies.
Best Oyster Eating Award – I can’t shake Quasi, it’s an odd little movie and I think the Broken Lizard crew have made another fun movie.
Best Quest For Research Award – It’s a lot and not always smooth, but the facts that Origin presents are worth knowing.
Best Scotch Whisky Ordering – I really like when Emily orders a Macallan 25 in Fair Play.
Best Scotch Drinking Award – I love The Killer, and I could watch Tilda Swinton drink whisky all day.
Best Fake Nut Allergy Award – Sick of Myself is a jet black comedy and I love how far Signe goes for attention.
Best Seann William Scott Award – WRATH OF BECKY! He’s so good.
Best Farts in an A24 Movie Award – Dream Scenario stands alongside The Lighthouse and Swiss Army Man as an elite A24 film that features memorable flatulence.
Best Kitchen Fight Award – The Conference features a beauty of a kitchen fight.
Best Dancing Award – Passages is an excellent film and I love when Franz Rogowski and Adèle Exarchopoulos dance.
Best Sinking of a Kaiju Award – Godzilla Minus One is the rare kaiju movie that uses its brain and attempts to do something with the genre.
Best 2023 Quote From a Horror Film – “They used dance against us?” Totally Killer is a lot of fun.
Best Bathtub Water Drinking – Saltburn isn’t the best, but it features a few very memorable moments and an excellent performance from Barry Keoghan.
Best Sturgill Simpson Award – He’s really good in The Creator, but I like his performance in Killers of the Flower Moon a lot.
Best Moped Riding Award – Scooter Crowe needs to appear in more movies. He’s a hoot in The Pope’s Exorcist.
Best Fortune Cookie Opening Award – Fremont is a droll delight and I could watch Tim Heidecker open up fortune cookies all day (because he could probably only open like six of them).
Best Eyebrow Raise Award – Penélope Cruz is wonderful in Ferrari and she drops an all-time eyebrow raise.
Best Bathroom Cleaning Award – Perfect Days is delightful. Watch it.
Best Usage of the Avril Lavigne song “Complicated” Award – Bottoms is a very funny movie.
Best Bit About Lasagna Award – My favorite moment in No Hard Feelings involves a very funny joke about a guy named Laird.
Best Jet Ski Action Scene Award – It makes me happy that jet ski king Jason Statham battles a large shark while riding on a jet ski in Meg 2: The Trench.
Best Roof Scene Award – May December features an all-timer roof scene between a father and his kid.
Best Injured Bird Since The Shallows Award – Showing Up is a neat movie about art, it also features Michelle Williams nursing a pigeon back to health after her cat attacks it.
Best Crying By a Professional Wrestler Award – Zac Efron is really good in The Iron Claw. His crying will make you cry.
Best Surly Writer Award – Christian Petzold’s latest film Afire is excellent and Leon (Thomas Schubert) might be the best surly writer of 2023.
Best Robot Stuck on a Beach Award – Robot Dreams is my favorite animated film of 2023 and it broke my heart watching the nice robot get stuck on the beach.
Best Catastrophically Broken People Award – Scarlett Johansson and Jason Schwartzman are wonderful in Asteroid City. Their first meeting is one of my favorite 2023 scenes.
I’d Hire That Guy Award – Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant is a very good film, and I’d totally hire Ahmed (Dar Salim)
Best Horse Book Award – Barbie is wonderful, and I appreciate all the horse references in the movie.
Here are some Random Awards from the MFF crew!
Megan Hofmeyer
- When I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses I lost interest award – Barbie
- Best governmental shit. “A pimp a hoe and a drug dealer walk into a bar. If we are gonna buy into the insanity, let a pimp freshen up.” – They Cloned Tyrone
- Rosa Parks sweatshirt award -wouldn’t be sitting down right now – The Blackening
- No absolutely not award – Flora and Son
- Best package throwing – No one will save you
- Worst drones award “These drones are not very good’ – Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
- Best passing the banana scene – Ferrari
- Best gaggle of old ladies sniffing a suitcase – The Boy and the Heron
- Best fake kpop band and internet friends – Joy Ride
- Best Emotional Guards – Wonka
- Best destiny’s lamb chop award – Napoleon
- Stop running and let the flerkens eat you award – The Marvels
- Get in, I have a surprise award – Poor Things
- I should have been a dancer award – The Eras Tour
- Best opera for fish and crabs – Chevalier
Aaron Neuwirth
- The Peanuts Award for Best Use of Snoopy – Maestro
- Best Director Cameo – Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon
- Best Use of a WeWork – The Killer
- Best Use of Oversized Genitalia – Beau is Afraid
- Best Robot that Should Have Been a Linebacker in the NFL – The Creator
- Best Use of Nuclear Bomb Imagery as an Evocative Reminder of the Past – tie – Godzilla Minus One/Oppenheimer
- Best Matching of Costumes to Guns – Priscilla
- Best Axe to the Face – When Evil Lurks
- Best Road Trip – Guy Ritchie’s the Covenant
- Best Josh Hartnett Performance – Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
- Best Prison Warden – Jawan
- Best Take on the Phrase: “I’ll allow it, but I’m watching you counselor.” – The Burial
- Best Powell & Pressburger Homage – Barbie
- Best Mad Scientist – tie – Viola Davis in The Hunger Games / Laya DeLeon Hayes in The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster
- Best Conversion of a Mexican Warehouse into a Torture Chamber – Saw X
- Most Surprisingly Good Remake – River Wild
Erik Hofmeyer
- Best ill-Fated Getaway Attempt – No Hard Feelings
- Funniest Web-Shooting – T-Rex baby arms in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
David Cross
- Most Surprising Spin Kick – Scott Adkins in a fat suit in John Wick: Chapter 4
- Best Usage of a Potato as a Weapon – Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
- Best On-Screen use of a Vespa – Russel Crowe in The Pope’s Exorcist
Joey Lewandowski
- Best Educator – Marshawn Lynch as Mr. G in BOTTOMS
- Best Bird – The Pigeon in SHOWING UP
- Best Model 3 Generative Android – M3GAN in M3GAN
- Best Dance Scene – Margaret Qualley in SANCTUARY
- Best Retro-Future Tech – The Fingernail Machine in FINGERNAILS
Jon Sizemore
- No Hard Feelings – most unique use of a chinese finger trap
- The Killer – best product placement (Amazon drop box)
- Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning – best use of magic tricks
- Oppenheimer – best use of sunscreen
- Best use of the band Blackstreet: Leave The World BehindI had a mini meltdown when that song came on early in the film (not talking about the dance scene)
Jay Cluitt
- Best Walking Over a Big Rock: Rege-Jean Page, Dungeons & Dragons
- Worst posture: Awkwafina – Quiz Lady
- Best homage to the cliff scene in The Lost World: Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (climactic train carriage climbing)
Makes sure to listen to the MFF podcast episode we recorded to celebrate the awards!
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John’s Horror Corner: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), the dregs of the Elm Street barrel.
MY CALL: If you are working your way through the Freddy movies for the first time, this may be the first movie you regret. Sorry. I love NOES 1-5 to varying degrees—but no love remains for this ‘part 6’ offense. MOVIES LIKE Freddy’s Dead: First off, you should first see the original A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985), A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987), A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master (1988) and A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)—parts 3-5 of which form one cohesive story arc.
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: After the excellent story arc and mythology-building of NOES 3-5, we seem to have thrown away all that has been edified before as if this was a sequel to the 1984 original with the supposition that more dream demon terror plagued Springwood from 1985-1990.
Where or when did this movie go wrong? My guess is that it started as early as the writing and pre-production. And since this was director Rachel Talalay’s (Ghost in the Machine, Tank Girl, A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting) first film—and she’d go on to direct better projects—I assume she was grateful for the job and just did as she was told. Many times watching this I had the feeling I was watching a stale TV movie, and not the 5th sequel of a tremendously successful franchise. Perhaps a consequence of the video era; or maybe everyone on board just got lazy. Because it’s not just the film quality. The scoring, editing and dialogue likewise feel notably inferior, and our teen protagonists feel randomly thrown in our lap in such a way that we’re far less invested in them (if at all). I never really felt the loss when one of them would die. Sorry to say it, but this reminded me of the quality and main characters of some of the later trash can Children of the Corn sequels… like CotC5 kinda’ bad!
Returning to Springwood with his therapist (Lisa Zane; The Nurse) in hopes of solving his strange case of amnesia, John Doe (Shon Greenblatt) is accompanied by three more troubled teens (incl. Breckin Meyer; Creepshow, Stag Night, The Craft) to the cursed town where it all began. Springwood is literally devoid of children and populated with bizarrely insane adults. Like, weirdly insane. It’s cartoonishly surreal, a bit just plain dumb and, frankly, would make more sense if this distorted perception of reality was in Freddy’s dream world. But it’s not! The journey leads us into an uninteresting investigation into just how John Doe may be tied to Freddy’s past.
The antics we all love in these movies have grown foul and moldy. Seeing Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund; Dead & Buried, Killer Tongue, A Nightmare on Elm Street 1-5, Galaxy of Terror, Hatchet II, The Phantom of the Opera) flying on a broom like the Wicked Witch is the kind of silly we’ve now come to expect from the franchise. But the neat novelty starts and ends there. And what we all showed up for, the death scenes… not good. The Q-tip gag will make you wince, and the monstrous hearing aid death is stupidly funny. But the overall scenes didn’t feel developed enough and certainly not in comparison to the movie’s predecessors. These death scenes didn’t build up—they were brief and squandered and lazy. The “Super Freddy” videogame sequence is just plain weak. It aged very poorly, to be fair. Nowadays it just appears aggravatingly dumb. Even Freddy’s dialogue is so crass… even for Freddy. Even minor roles and cameos by Yaphet Kotto (Alien, The Running Man, The Puppet Masters), Roseanne Barr (She-Devil) and Tom Arnold (Body Bags, True Lies) couldn’t save many scenes.
This sequel reveals a bit about Fred Krueger’s home and family life when he was alive. It’s not so interesting, provocative or exploratory as in the previous sequels, nor does it build to anything satisfying into Freddy’s mythology. The past sequels (NOES 3-5) served audiences thoughtful dives into Freddy’s origins, pathos and dual-world existence. But not this sequel, which has al the cohesiveness of a homework assignment slapped together ten minutes before the homeroom bell.
The feeling I get is that no one ever put any thoughtful work into this and, for what was thrown together, this movie seems to think that it’s clever when it never actually is. And that’s just sad. Basically every scene in this movie is weak. This is truly the only Freddy movie I wouldn’t be excited to see again. But I’m sure my next franchise review will taunt me back one day yet again, as it has now.
I’ll go so far as to call this the one truly bad Freddy movie. It may also be the only franchise installment I seem to like less with each viewing and the more I think about it. Oof!
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John’s Horror Corner: Waxwork (1988), a bloody and creature-diverse anthology-like horror comedy.
MY CALL: This movie opens and closes clumsily on its ‘not the best’ comedic components. But fret not! For its redeeming creature effects, blood ‘n gore, and engaging story components more than make up for these shortcomings and make this a solid 80s classic. Strongly recommended. MORE MOVIES LIKE Waxwork: Well, Waxwork II (1992) immediately continues the story from the ending scene of part 1. So, if you enjoy this movie, go right on to the sequel. Or for a true anthology film of the time, Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie (1990).
Walking to school together, a pair of college girls notice a building they’ve somehow never noticed before. It’s a wax museum (in the middle of the affluent suburbs), and it’s mysterious steward (David Warner; Necronomicon: Book of the Dead, The Company of Wolves, The Unnamable II, Ice Cream Man) invites the girls to bring a group of six friends for a private viewing at midnight on a school night… sounds legit!
Director and writer Anthony Hickox (Warlock 2, Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth) assembles a cast of horror-seasoned actors to play these college students: Mark (Zach Galligan; Warlock 2, Hatchet 3, Gremlins 1-2), Sarah (Deborah Foreman; April Fool’s Day, Destroyer), China (Michelle Johnson; Dr. Giggles, The Jigsaw Murders) and Tony (Dana Ashbrook; Return of the Living Dead II, Girlfriend from Hell, The Willies), among others.
Upon their midnight arrival, their host for the evening is the diminutive and spunky Hans (Mihaly ‘Michu’ Meszaros; Warlock 2), who introduces them to the main hall where the wax exhibits are generally eerie, supernatural and murderous. But mind the velvet ropes. For one who steps across the ropes into the exhibit is transported to another time and dimension, becoming a character in the story of the exhibit. Whatever fate befalls them, becomes the exhibit. The premise is simple, fun, and well-executed.
As our victims step into this or that exhibit, the movie plays out like an anthology film. Each victim gets their own exhibit and their own story, with the wraparound story being the students at the wax museum not inside the exhibits’ alternate dimensions at the moment.
We learn that Hans and the museum steward have a sinister goal in absorbing souls into the wax work exhibits. The exhibits include a werewolf (John Rhys-Davies; The Unnamable 2), Count Dracula (Miles O’Keeffe), zombies, a mummy… oh, and the Marquis de Sade!
As far as effects go, the werewolf looked great! Drooly, slimy, stylish and good animatronics controlling the face and ears made it a satisfying spectacle. That werewolf tears a guy’s head in half like a rotten pumpkin. Other great gory visuals include a man’s leg butchered to the bloody bone, and a great champagne-stabbing gag. The movie is pretty bloody.
I’ll be the first to admit, the first twenty minutes of this movie are filled with clumsy lame comedy, and the twenty-minute finale loaded with clumsy silly action pandemonium. But the hour within, bookended by the weaker opening and closer, is pretty great 80s horror with a satisfying diversity of effects, gore, monster make-up and deaths. Despite some of the comedy landing much weaker than the rest, this movie overall is an 80s delight!
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The 2023 Horor Movie Awards! Mark and Zanandi (@ZaNandi on X) talk about their favorite horror films released in 2023. In this episode, you’ll hear them discuss their favorite moments in Thanksgiving, The Pope’s Exorcist, Brooklyn 45, Saw X, Insidious: The Red Door, The Wrath of Becky, No One Will Save You, The Blackening, The Conference, Birth/Rebirth, Dark Harvest and more! Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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