John’s Horror Corner: The Convent (2000), a poor man’s Night of the Demons rip-off.
MY CALL: This is bad. Really bad. Though, often laughably bad. I’d call this an awful, very cheap reimagining of Night of the Demons 2. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Convent: For pretty bad movies that are less regrettably bad than The Convent, I’d recommend The Granny (1995), Rabid Grannies (1988) or Killer Tongue (1996). If you watched The Convent and want to see the far better source material—Night of the Demons (1988) and Night of the Demons 2 (1992). The Hazing (2004) was also a good NotD knock-off.
40 years after the slaughter of an entire clergy, uptight Clorissa (Joanna Canton; Masters of Sex), her goth friend Mo (Megahn Perry; The Perfect Host, The Gravedancers), and five more college friends head to the cursed convent. The local folklore is that Christine was impregnated by Father O’Malley, who kidnapped her and aborted her child against her will—hence the clergy slaughter vengeance and now present-day haunting. Almost immediately after breaking into the convent, the co-eds pair off, do drugs and get horny.
Some cultists capture Mo and sacrifice her on a pentagram of glow-in-the-dark paint. The result—Mo is now a glowing-veined, glowing-eyed, glowing-toothed demon-possessed murderer. After being killed by scalding water from a convent shower, a cultist likewise becomes another orc-faced “glow demon.” Their fake gnarly big-gummed teeth, general appearance, and method of demon possession/infection is a cheapened, out of focus, carbon copy of Night of the Demons (1988) and Night of the Demons 2 (1992). But truly, this is more like a copy of a copy of copy with a coffee stain on it, with much quality lost in the across the transfer.
The acting and writing are rough. This is so bad! Kind of fun bad, but mostly just bad bad. Lol. No regrets. This movie was lame. But I must admit, I shook my head with a disapproving grin quite a lot. Apparently the demons can use a virgin for the rebirth of the devil and such. So there’s that. This was the topic of the cultists’ dialogue, which leads to some laughable ends including some inoffensive homophobia (in that the straight guy was the butt of the joke from the very funny LGBT character and actor Kelly Mantle). Some additional laughs which suffered greatly from the writing come from smaller cameo roles by Coolio (Pterodactyl, Dracula 3000, Leprechaun 5: In the Hood) and Bill Moseley (Boar, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, House of 1000 Corpses, Texas Chainsaw 3-D, The Blob, Smothered), and co-star Adrienne Barbeau (The Fog, Swamp Thing, Escape from New York, Creepshow, Two Evil Eyes).
The budget is very low. But I appreciate director Mike Mendez’ (Tales of Halloween, Satanic Hispanics) and his cast and crew’s efforts. A guy gets some fatal oral sex from a demon, a girl’s face is ripped off, someone’s head is partially punched off, and there’s loads of bright orange blood. None of it looks particularly “good,” but it’s nonsense fun. And that’s what this movie is—laughable nonsense. It’s not exactly the type of “so bad it’s good” I prefer, but it works juuust enough. And while this viewing experience isn’t completely regrettable, it makes me long for the good old days when my bad movies were more like The Granny (1995), Rabid Grannies (1988) or Killer Tongue (1996)—all more satisfying than The Convent.
Share this post:
Bonus Movies, Films and Flix Podcast Episode – The Tom Cruise Science Fiction and Fantasy Movie Draft
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Cross (@ItsMeDavidCross on Twitter) draft their favorite Tom Cruise fantasy and science fiction movies. In this episode they discuss Edge of Tomorrow, War of the Worlds, Vanilla Sky, Legend, Minority Report, The Mummy, Oblivion and Interview With the Vampire. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
Project Wolf Hunting (2022) – Review
Quick Thoughts – Grade – B – If you’re in the mood for blood geysers, blood explosions, and exploding blood geysers, it doesn’t get any better than Project Wolf Hunting. There are too many characters (or not enough?). The action isn’t staged particularly well (or are they staged brilliantly?), and the convoluted plot involves a boat, some criminals, a few cops, a deadly monster, a shadowy governmental agency, and many flashbacks. However, none of this matters because director Kim Hong-Sun is only interested in showing the world what happens when a tough-as-nails cop bites the arm off of a super soldier. Project Wolf Hunting is an exercise in practical effects that show what happens when a head meets a blunt object, or how far blood sprays when a knife meets a neck.
During a recording of Con Air – The Podcast, movie critic Courtney Smalls told us about Project Wolf Hunting. He suggested it because he considers it to be a solid Con Air-adjacent film that tells the story of cops and criminals battling each other inside a boat that’s headed for Busan, South Korea. It was a great suggestion, as the movie plays like Con Air met Primal, and then teamed up with Mandy to form a supergroup of movies that also occasionally allow Face/Off and Drive Angry to hang out and jam. The best way to experience the movie is to ignore the trailer (and the rest of this review) and watch it knowing as little as possible about what transpires.
For the sake of the review, it’s safe to say that the movie is about what happens when a group of criminals start battling a group of cops inside a large boat headed for South Korea. Normally, this would be enough to carry a film. However, once they start killing each other, they are forced to start brawling with a deadly super soldier named Alpha (Alpha (Choi Gwi-hwa), who even with stapled shut eyes finds a way to destroy folks. From there, it becomes an absolute free for all as everyone gets separated and eventually obliterated in creative ways.
In an interview with Screenrant, director Kim Hong-Sun unleashed this gem of a quote: “We created new blood pumps, and my intention was to do something as real or even more real than what Tarantino does. As you know, blood does not just seep out. If you cut an artery, it might pump out. That’s what I wanted, so I’m happy. I understand that some of my audience is not so happy, but fortunately, I am happy.” If you’re an action lover who enjoys blood spray, this movie was tailored for your tastes. The blood is thick and heavy and so are the action scenes that feature people dying in kitchens, hallways, elevators, control rooms, maintenance closets, mechanical rooms, regular rooms, and everywhere else possible you could find yourself on a ship.
The cast is extremely game, and their selflessness should be applauded as their characters deliver approximately zero offense when attacked. The standouts are Seo In-Guk, Choi Gwi-hwa, Jang Dong-Yoon and Jang Young-Nam, who are all given moments to shine before their faces look like lasagna that’s been dropped off a skyscraper and landed on the sidewalk. The true MVP’s are the special effects crew, makeup designers, and sound designers who must’ve been exhausted during and after the shoot as they had to unleash hundreds of gallons of blood and create about 7,000 squishy noises.
Final thoughts – Many people die, that’s the point. If you like creative special effects, and people being killed when they are bludgeoned with another person’s arm, you will love this movie. Watch it!
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Terrifier 2 (2022), the brutally mean-spirited evil clown movie that will haunt your gory nightmares… again.
MY CALL: After watching this you’ll feel like you need a bath and a confession booth. Top choice for fans of brutal, goretastic and mean-spirited horror and for anyone who claims they “can’t be shocked anymore.” The performance of the villain continues to honor part 1. I was truly slack-jawed-wowed by the special effects team. MORE MOVIES LIKE Terrifier 2: Well, obviously Terrifier (2016). Then The Sadness (2021)… maybe Adam Chaplin (2011) and No Reason (2010). For more mainstream brutally mean-spirited movies, try The Texas Chainsaw Massacre films, Wolf Creek (2005), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), Hatchet (2006), or even The Strangers (2008, 2018) or The Purge (2013) movies. For more evil clown movies, try Stephen King’s It (1990, 2017), Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988), Stitches (2012), Scary or Die (2012) and Clown (2014).
If you enjoyed the goretastic, destitute meanness of Terrifier (2016), then fear not. For Art continues to deliver from scene one as he fragments, macerates and pulverizes a man’s skull in gooey, graphic glory before yanking out the victim’s long-vein-bundled eye to jam into his socket and replace his own. I am more than happy to simply “find more of the same” in sequels, but this sequel immediately finds new and creative ways to utterly gross out and shock audiences.
In this sequel, Sienna (Lauren LaVera) joins Allie (Casey Hartnett; What We Found) and Brooke (Kailey Hyman) to a Halloween party one year after Art’s previous massacre. No shock, Art is somehow alive again and begins resumes massacring people. Only this Halloween his killing spree crosses Sienna’s family and to save her brother she’ll have to face Art on her own.
Brooke is done-dirty in a seriously mean-ass death scene. Poor Allie gets it the worst, though. So sinisterly macabre; like something out of Leatherface’s wet dream. This movie features some of the goriest scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie so nearly mainstream. Adam Chaplin (2011) and No Reason (2010) are incredibly violent and gory, but tread further from mainstream attention and accessibility. As far as more mainstream movies go, The Sadness (2021) comes close-ish while really not even being in the same ballpark.
Terrifier 2 capitalizes on gore in the most vile ways. Among them are putrefied female bodily functions, squeezing and toying with guts, a jaw-droppingly intense scalping scene that rivals Maniac (1980), bruuuuutal limb-breaking and limb-ripping, flesh-peeling and face-tearing, a wild celebration of crotch stabbing and genital tearing, and so more.
This movie essentially has a “theme” of intense skull, eyeball and head trauma. I caught myself mouthing the word wow so many times in gleeful shock at the boundaries being pushed by the effects team. So much extensive imagery of mutilation. This is so not for the weak-stomached. I was truly slack-jawed-wowed by the special effects team.
A pleasant addition, we find a twisted young girl Clown of the same makings as Art. She manages to look even more disturbing than Art, with every shot of her effectively off-putting. Neither of them talk… ever. They just offer unnerving facial expressions and occasionally mime their sick intentions.
The finale fight doesn’t measure up to the outrageous violence, shock or gore of the earlier scenes… but how could it? I still enjoyed every bit of it. And this is really a hard movie to end. It’s full-tilt meat grinder scene after scene, and eventually Sienna has her brother and the credits roll. So overall, I was so splendidly pleased with this immense piece of shock cinema. I didn’t know how one could possibly continue to please audiences after part 1, but writer/director Damien Leone (All Hallow’s Eve, Terrifier) and his Art portrayer David Howard Thornton (Terrifier, Stream) have certainly done it, finding just enough ways to tweak Art’s evil and murder with more creative zest than before. To that end, the entire cast fares well for us, and the increased production value was also a welcome upgrade.
After watching this you’ll feel like you need a bath and a confession booth. Dare I say, I don’t know how Leone could possibly do more than ‘more of same’ for a part 3… but he certainly proved my expectations wrong about part 2. Bravo!
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 474: Hell or High Water, Taylor Sheridan and Ben Foster
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and John (@MFFHorrorCorner on Twitter) discuss the 2016 thriller Hell or High Water. Directed by David Mackenzie, and starring Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges, Gil Birmingham, and several banks, the movie focuses on what happens when two brothers start robbing banks to save their family ranch. In this episode, they also talk about Taylor Sheridan, movie brothers, and the excellence of Ben Foster. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: A Wounded Fawn (2022), a weirdly satisfying indie arthouse horror embracing Greek mythology.
MY CALL: Arthouse films are not my jam. But this trippy indie hooked me with a good serial killer vibe and its utility of Greek mythology. Weird and well done. MORE MOVIES LIKE A Wounded Fawn: Looking for more weird, trippy, surreal horror? Maybe try Mandy (2018), Antichrist (2009) or Natural Born Killers (1994).
Off for a weekend retreat to get to know one another better, Meredith (Sarah Lind; Wolfcop, Jakob’s Wife, The Exorcism of Molly Hartley) and Bruce (Josh Ruben; Scare Me, Werewolves Within, Blood Relatives) are off for a cabin retreat. Something awkward about their dialogue, I came to realize, is that this weekend is essentially their second date (or so)—they really don’t know much about each other at all.
Bruce’s cabin is an artistic splendor, but something haunts Meredith upon her arrival. There seems to be a woman skulking about the cabin. All the while, we can see that Bruce is fighting off some sort of dark murderous compulsion in the shadows of his subconscious which he occasionally “sees” standing before him, as if beckoning the sin. Their first evening grows tense by dinner time and Meredith already wants to go home back to the city. I think anyone who’s ever been on a bad or strange date will readily relate to this deliberately restrained panic and urge to flee, purely to avoid inciting unwanted reactions from the other party. After all, you don’t just suddenly scream, turn and sprint when you cross a bear on a forest path.
Most pleasing to me was the use of a small “Erinyes” sculpture as a plot device. The exposition behind the piece was organic, it served as a plot device, and was ultimately thematic to the Greek Mythology-inspired fate of our characters.
This film has a very, very indie look to it, as well as some very strong, recurring arthouse elements. Indeed, this is an arthouse film. But there are also some more mainstream visceral, graphic wounds and blood. The fleshy gore is not frequent nor thematic to this film, but effective. The atmosphere is sufficiently creepy, and occasionally lulls us into surreal dream sequences and threatening visions.
All told, this was neither riveting nor exciting—truly, this just isn’t “my kind of movie.” However, it was very interesting. I was ever curious about what was going on, where it was leading, what it all means… and unlike most horror movies, I found some satisfaction to its resolution.
The atmosphere was well-cultivated, I was always curious where it was heading next, and while not my style at all, the arthouse components sure threw a curveball into the mix. So I’d call this an intriguing arthouse horror for the more inquisitive viewer. I’m definitely glad I gave this a shot and will now seek out more films by director Travis Stevens’ (Girl on the Third Floor, Jakob’s Wife). I also enjoyed Girl on the Third Floor (2019), so Jakob’s Wife (2021) is next for me!
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Nightmare Cinema (2018), a solid horror anthology worth your time.
MY CALL: This was good. I’ve encountered plenty of anthologies of short films by inexperienced filmmakers and aggravatingly low budgets Frankensteined together into 90 minutes. At times they can feel like an assembly of short films that failed to find acclaim, so they bundled them together and called it a movie of a different name. This is not one of them. Nightmare Cinema is an enjoyable anthology with a broad range of themes, filmmaking styles, and solid special effects and gore. I’m even more impressed at the special effects quality considering these shorts were all made independently of one another.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Screams of a Winter Night (1979), Creepshow (1982), Screamtime (1983), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), From a Whisper to a Scream (1987; aka The Offspring), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), Dark Tales of Japan (2004), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017), XX (2017), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), The Field Guide to Evil (2018), Shudder’s series Creepshow (2019-2021), Scare Package (2019), The Mortuary Collection (2019), Xenophobia (2019), V/H/S/94 (2021), Netflix’s series Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) and V/H/S/99 (2022).
This horror anthology’s segments lack any theme or story-based links to one another, and are all made by different filmmakers. This generally produces the greatest diversity in anthology segments for those seeking a lot of different flavors (e.g., The Field Guide to Evil). But it also means we’ll find no consistency in quality or style, nor storytelling synthesis (e.g., Trick ‘r Treat) for those who prefer that.
In this anthology, the flavors at hand to tickle our horror taste buds include manic horror-comedy, a solid Twilight Zone throwback, demonic possession, surreal trippy psychological horror, alien spiders, botched plastic surgery medical horror, a sword-wielding priest on a gory killing rampage in a church, and generally high-quality gore and latex effects at high frequency.
The Projectionist—Our wraparound story presents a series of people wandering into an empty theater led by some spectral force to watch their own fates transpire on the screen. Mickey Rourke (Angel Heart) gives an empty husk of a performance as the Grim Reaperly projectionist. This wraparound is the only “segment” I didn’t care for at all.
Director and writer Mick Garris (Sleepwalkers, Psycho IV, Critters 2).
The Thing in the Woods— Hunted by a pickaxe-wielding maniac, an attractive young woman (Sarah Elizabeth Withers) covered in blood sprints through the woods with the camera fawning over breast and butt angles, clearly doing so deliberately and overtly. She trips and falls face first into a rotting corpse, fumbling through its entrails as she struggles to get up. That scene really sets the tone well! The gore is abundant and grotesque with a head split wide open and gaping for the world to see like a flower opening for the sun.
The gore is on-point, deliciously executed, and tiptoes slapstick with a chuckle-worthy gun mishap and a wonderful exploding head gag. There are multiple scenes of head splitting awesomeness! This is delightful, relentlessly silly, horror comedy. We have our Welder-killer (Eric Nelson), a spirited final girl fight, and alien meteorite spiders that crawl in your mouth and possess you. Constant action and gore to match this “slasher-plus” theme made for an outstanding segment. This was wonderful!
Director and writer Alejandro Brugués (Juan of the Dead).
Mirari—Recently engaged Anna (Zarah Mahler; The Wretched) consults a plastic surgeon at the Mirari Clinic to help with facial scarring after a car accident. The charismatic doctor convinces her to have additional work done… and then yet more. Medical horror, medical abuse, coerced surgery and imagery of surgical mutilation are the themes of this segment, much like that old Twilight Zone episode Eye of the Beholder (1960; S2 E6). Much more tame in pacing than The Thing in the Woods, but this leads us to a great reveal. Very satisfying down to the Twilight Zone-ish delivery style.
Director Joe Dante (Burying the Ex, The Howling, Piranha).
Mashit—This “religious horror” segment opens with a possessed Catholic school boy falls to his bloody death; and what a great gruesome shot it is! Mashit is a demon who leads children to suicide, and this demon is hard at work today as we enjoy creepy contorted possession-walking/crawling/backwalking.
By my critical eye, the exposition doesn’t feel well-executed, and the writing and acting don’t quite do the gravity of the premise justice. But this is more than forgiven when we reach the incredibly violent, gory battle between a sword-wielding priest (Maurice Benard) and an army of small possessed children biting, stabbing and headbutting the priest as he hatchets heads in half and jettisons severed heads from their shoulders spinning through the air spiraling blood like a sprinkler. This very extended scene felt like the church fight in Kingsman (2014) with horror flair, and it’s quite satisfying in its lunacy.
Director Ryûhei Kitamura (Azumi, Versus).
This Way to Egress—A woman (Elizabeth Reaser; Ouija: Origin of Evil, The Haunting of Hill House) visits a therapist to discuss her fear of change. Everyone around her seems to be changing over time, for the worse, and for the uglier—literally. The world becomes filthy and people become truly macabre, deformed and distorted to her. Feels like something from Cronenberg’s mind crossed with a dark Black Mirror episode. Her paranoia really elevates and things get weirdly surreal. There are very interesting ideas and visuals—I felt like I was in a drug-induced nightmare.
Director David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night).
Dead—A carjacking results in the violent death of a family of three with seriously graphic gun violence. In the hospital, the revived boy encounters a stitchwork horror of a patient. Turns out after his brush with death, now he sees dead people wandering the hospital as they were in their bloody final moments. This segment features some great gore and violence, but weak writing. Still, it is visually satisfying and finishes strong.
Director and writer Mick Garris (Sleepwalkers, Psycho IV, Critters 2).
Although I prefer my anthologies to have more cohesively linked stories (e.g., The Mortuary Collection, Trick ‘r Treat) or richer stories to tell with clever twists, themes or moral spins (e.g., Terrified, Holidays), this anthology still manages to deliver the goods in the form of solid filmmaking across the board and a nice mix of themes, subgenres and styles. I’ve encountered plenty of anthologies Frankensteined together by fledgling filmmakers and shoestring budgets (e.g., Scare Package, Screamtime). This is not one of them. Mirari and The Thing in the Woods were delightful, and This Way to Egress captured a Cronenbergian level of surreal weirdness. Everything here is of decent quality and filmmaking prowess.
Definitely worth your time.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 473: Scream 2, Slasher Sequels, and Ooze
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Zanandi (@ZaNandi on Twitter) discuss the 1997 slasher sequel Scream 2. Directed by Wes Craven, and starring Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Timothy Olyphant and a very smart cameraman, the movie focuses on what happens when Ghostface goes to college. In this episode, they also talk about car chases, movie soundtracks, and the chemistry between Arquette and Cox. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 472: I Spit on Your Grave, Day of the Woman, and Exploitation Cinema
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Haikim discuss the 1978 exploitation film I Spit on Your Grave (AKA Day of the Woman). Directed by Meir Zarchi, and starring Camille Keaton, Eron Tabor, and Richard Pace, this violent piece of low-budget filmmaking has become one of the most notorious films ever made due to its extreme content and controversy. In this episode, they also talk about 1970s cinema, low-budget filmmaking, and horror remakes. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Screamtime (1983), an understandably obscure British horror anthology.
MY CALL: There’s good reason that you likely haven’t heard of this movie and, if you have, you’ve had trouble finding it. It’s… not good. Like, on all levels it’s not good. Weak writing, acting, premises, directing, effects–everything. MORE MOVIES LIKE Screamtime: I’m inclined to suggest Dolls (1987) for anyone who wants to see doll horror done right.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Screams of a Winter Night (1979), Creepshow (1982), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), From a Whisper to a Scream (1987; aka The Offspring), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), Dark Tales of Japan (2004), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017), XX (2017), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), The Field Guide to Evil (2018), Shudder’s series Creepshow (2019-2021), Scare Package (2019), The Mortuary Collection (2019), Xenophobia (2019), V/H/S/94 (2021), Netflix’s series Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) and V/H/S/99 (2022).
As an old school movie collector, I love that this anthology begins with two guys at a video store—even if the execution is weak. A simple wraparound story, they snatch some movies and their illegal rentals serve as the source of the anthology stories.
Awakening my nostalgia, the first story (That’s the Way We Do It) revolves around puppets called Punch and Judy—and Punch looks just like Mister Punch from Dolls (1987), who was gifted to a girl named Judy in that movie. As is so often the case with dolls in horror, the owner and crafter (Robin Bailey) is devoted to his creations, which are damaged and disrespected by his wife and snide stepson (Jonathon Morris; Vampire Journals, Subspecies 4). Unfortunately all occurring off-screen, the wife and stepson get their comeuppance when they are beaten to death by a two-by-four by Punch. You’ll probably figure out the ending—it’s very predictably cliché, though not completely unentertaining for it. Somewhat boring, somewhat cheeky.
The second story (Dreamhouse) is about a married couple in their new home. The wife constantly fears there is someone in the house at night, with no one to be found by her husband. She also has psychic visions of bloody murder and dead bodies. There are some graphic, though clumsy, scenes of murderous violence. Generally, another boring and weakly executed story that I could have done completely without.
The third story (Do You Believe in Fairies?) is about a young man who takes a job as a handyman and gardener for two elderly women who claim to have fairies tending the garden. When he decides to rob the old heiresses, their garden gnomes and fairies come to their aid. This was horrible. However, some may find a laugh when the inanimate garden gnomes converge on the thieves.
The wraparound story adds no substance whatsoever to the movie, which packs rather weak anthology entries. I guess this explains why this movie is so hard to find. This was boring. The stories were uncreative and/or uninteresting, and all levels of performance and filmmaking were poor in my opinion. Very poor. There are simply too many better anthologies to suggest one suffer through this lest (like me) they are anthology completists who simply want to see them all. If that’s your pleasure and you still want to see it, I found a rough transfer from VHS on YouTube.
Movies, Films & Flix 