MY CALL: This was one of the most ridiculous movies I’ve seen in a long time, and I love it for that. The gore and death scenes are poor. But the story is so batshit crazy that the storytelling itself (and the goofy-looking looking evil elf) make this a bad movie diamond in the rough. MORE MOVIES LIKE Elves: For more holiday horror, check out Black Christmas (1974, 2006 remake, 2019 reimagining), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), Await Further Instructions (2018), Holidays (2016; Christmas), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), Krampus (2015), Better Watch Out (2016), Silent Night Deadly Night (1984), Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Gremlins (1984), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989; And All Through the House) and Tales from the Crypt (1972; And All Through the House). Skip The Oracle (1985) and Silent Night Deadly Night part 2 (1987).
After unknowingly summoning a mutant elf using her grandfather’s occult work, Kirsten (Julie Austin; Fatal Exposure) and her friends wander home from the forest as a Ghoulies-like rubber, mucus-glazed monster claw emerges from the earth. Yup. This is gonna’ be good!
This rubber elf claw is the kind of prop you imagine being at the end of a stick, held just out of camera frame, as it motions towards things stiffly and menacingly. And as a fan of cheap 80s horror, these hardly-prehensile monster limbs often feel like characters themselves (like the stand-in for the monster before it appears in the late-movie full-body shot). But yes, this limb is attached to a gnarly malformed elf which follows Kirsten home, breaks into the house, and attacks her perverted little brother who was peeping at Kirsten naked in the shower. Staying in perverted theme, a lude department store Santa that gets handsy with Kirsten is stabbed to death in his genitalia by the elf. With the death of the sex-offender mall Santa, a down and out Grizzly Adams (Dan Haggerty; The Chilling, Terror Night) is hired the same day as his replacement.
It turns out that while Kirsten’s mother suspects a rabid racoon for the domestic elf attacks, Kirsten’s grandfather knows all too well what is happening. He knows about this evil elf and its purpose—which is to breed (with Kirsten) and create a superhuman race of Nazi lineage! And just in case that little plot point wasn’t ridiculous enough, her grandfather is also her father! She was created by selective inbreeding by her ex-Nazi father/grandfather to carry the perfect set of genes for elf-breeding. About now you might wonder how this could be ideal… they don’t explain it. But as a sliver of redemptive morality, her grandfather—who admitted to drugging and impregnating his own daughter—has had a change of heart and no longer wants the Elven Nazi master race to come to fruition. But fret not, there are other contemporary Nazis who plan to see that this happens! Apparently the Nazis had been studying elves for decades, and one of gramps’ old colleagues still believes in the rise of the next Reich.
NAZI HORROR SIDEBAR: For yet more Nazi horror, you should explore seeing Iron Sky (2012), Iron Sky 2: The Coming Race (2019), Dead Snow (2009), Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014), Overlord (2018), Hellboy (2004), Green Room (2015), Yoga Hosers (2016), Manborg (2011), Zombie Lake (1981), Oasis of the Zombies (1982), The Keep (1983), Frankenstein’s Army (2013), Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge (1991), Puppet Master: The Legacy (2003), Puppet Master: Axis of Evil (2010), Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012) and Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017). And while not using Nazis as a direct antagonist, I’ll include Blood Vessel (2019).
I was somewhat disappointed and, in my head, blaming a meager budget when I discovered there was only one “elf” in this movie called Elves. But you know what? Our one elf’s face is awesome. He has a permanent expression of slack-jawed horrific disdain like he just smelled a life-threateningly bad fart while simultaneously becoming enraged as he realized who dealt it.
Half the action is human on human, guns and fists, and is quite unexciting. The monster effects are incredibly weak, infrequent, and very little worthy gore or horror action happens on screen. But I found this surprisingly forgivable. Rather than rubber guts and death scenes, this movie instead thrives on the wacktastic appearance of the elf and the complete lunacy of the story. And boy is it a bonkers laugh. I really enjoyed hearing the layers of drug-induced storytelling.
One of the most horrifying things in this movie is when Kirsten’s sociopathic mother (Deanna Lund; Roots of Evil, Superstition 2) drowns a cat in a toilet, wrongly thinking the cat attacked her young son—you know, before the rabid racoon theory. Thankfully, she gets hers when the elf electrocutes her in the bathtub.
Director and co-writer Jeffrey Mandel (Cyber-C.H.I.C) has made more of an unintentional comedy than a horror movie here. And I am just fine with that. While I enjoy or even rave about some entertaining bad movies, most of them I’d never really care to see again. However, much like Christmas, I could see myself enjoying Elves every year as I give new movie-goers the gift of this bad movie gem.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 466 – Grizzly (1976), Movie Bears, and Jaws Rip-Off Films
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Cross (@ItsMeDavidCross on Twitter) discuss the 1976 creature feature Grizzly. Directed by William Girdler, and starring Christopher George, Andrew Prine, Richard Jaeckel, and a large bear, the movie focuses on what happens when a man-eating grizzly starts eating campers. In this episode, they also talk about monster movies, famous bears, and films that did a great job ripping off Jaws. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
MY CALL: This is the second film in Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy and a worthy education in early non-Romero zombie horror for any genre film fan. The storytelling is a bit discombobulated, but there’s a satisfying diversity of special effects and gore. Highly recommended to fans of 80s horror and gorehounds, and it doesn’t particularly matter if you see these movies in order. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Beyond: Easily the best choice is Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Fulci’s Zombie (1979), City of the Living Dead (1980) and The House by the Cemetery (1981)—the latter two being two-thirds of Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy.
The Lovecraftian connection is weak, but present—and the Cthulhu Wiki recognizes that The Beyond is perhaps a rather loose adaptation of The Dunwich Horror (1970). Just as in City of the Living Dead (1980), a priest from Dunwich somehow opens a gateway to Hell (or some dark void beyond).
Over 50 years after a warlock is tortured, graphically crucified and partially melted in 1927, Liza (Catriona MacColl; The House by the Cemetery, City of the Living Dead) inherits the old hotel where it all happened.
Shortly after this inheritance, Liza finds a strange blind woman Emily (Cinzia Monreale; Beyond the Darkness, Cave of the Sharks) and her dog in the middle of nowhere. So for no good reason at all, Liza brings this stranger to the hotel, where she remains for reasons that go unexplained. Possessing some psychic powers, Emily explains that the hotel was built on one of the Seven Gateways to Hell. This is probably about where I’d ask Emily to leave. But Liza is a much kinder host than I. And whereas Emily is the harbinger of supernatural things to come, Dr. McCabe (David Warbeck; Breakfast with Dracula, Miami Golem, Trog) balances things as our resident skeptic.
As is so often the case, the first sightings of evil zombie-ish fare transpire in some elaborate, hidden-away corridors in the basement. After the strange mutilating death of Liza’s plumber, the discovery of a 60-year-old water-logged cadaver, and the freak accident acid-melting death of the plumber’s wife in the morgue, Liza intends to continue with her plans to re-open this old hotel.
Being a Lucio Fulci movie, your gory expectations shall be kindly met. We enjoy graphic eye-gauging, chunky gore-spewing corpses, yet more frothy face-melting, the most brutal tarantula attack ever, grimy groaty pus-covered muck faces, a viciously messy throat-ripping dog bite, a head-exploding gunshot wounds, and then there’s the deceased plumber’s daughter. After seeing her mother melted down into a fizzy puddle, the young daughter of the molten woman in the morgue—perhaps a supernatural madness afflicted by what she had witnessed—also develops harrowingly white blind eyes just like Emily’s.
The tarantula scene is comically long, and imbues these spiders with supernatural brutality. They bite and tear away flesh after swarming a body like a school of slow-motion piranhas. They even bite his eyeball! Lot of eye trauma in this movie, by the way. Like three different scenes! Ever since Zombie (1979) Fulci has had a thing for that. Not complaining, though. I love me some graphic corneal trauma. And especially silly is that some of the tarantulas are real whereas others in the background are clunky animatronics.
The story and delivery lack the synthesis of City or Cemetery. A lot of things happen and I’m left wondering the whys and hows. In comparing The Beyond and City of the Living Dead (1980), their basic plots are strikingly similar. The gates of Hell are opened via the death of a priest (or warlock). And while we’re on the topic of similarity, you may recognize many of the actors from City of the Living Dead (1980) or The House by the Cemetery (1981) in The Beyond. However, none of them are playing the same characters.
Whereas City ends with destroying the “head zombie” thwarting the apocalypse and Cemetery ends with slaying the death-defying evil doctor, this closes with evil winning out as our heroes wander through the infernal doorway in order to escape being besieged by zombies. Then it sort of just ends… and then they go blind with weird white eyes like Emily and the girl… with them presumably alone in a Hellscape.
This is the second film in Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy and a worthy education in early non-Romero zombie horror for any genre film fan. It has a decent premise (even if ill-realized in its storytelling compared to City and Cemetery), good pacing, and a satisfying diversity and abundance of special effects like the other two films of this trilogy. Highly recommended to fans of 80s horror and gorehounds, and it doesn’t particularly matter if you see these movies in order.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 465: The Black Phone, Ethan Hawke, and Joe Hill
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Chris Kelly (of the Classic American Movies podcast) discuss the 2022 horror film The Black Phone. Directed by Scott Derrickson, and starring Mason Thames, Madeleine McGraw, Ethan Hawke, and a few ghost kids, the movie focuses on what happens when an industrious kid is kidnapped by a buff Ethan Hawke. In this episode, they also talk about Joe Hill’s short story, killer masks, and the excellence of Gwen. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: Smile (2022), a very well-made, pleasant surprise rich in creepiness and fun startling jumpiness.
MY CALL: Very well-made, very well-produced, very entertaining, very creepy movie. It wasn’t riveting or wowing. But it is a solid popcorn horror good for jumps, atmosphere, creep factor and gore. MORE MOVIES LIKE Smile: Lights Out (2016) is another highly satisfying, very jumpy and creepy, well-executed popcorn horror.
After witnessing the death of our first victim (Caitlin Stasey; All Cheerleaders Die) I am awash with awkward tension. A woman with an almost too big of a smile lacerates her face and throat, never breaking her intense smiling gaze while bleeding a river down her chest. Scenes like this are not rare in horror. But with the excellent performances of the entire cast, on-point editing and solid direction, the execution is what makes it so strong. And there’s a great strength of this horror film, it’s very well-produced and intuitively executed. Everything makes for an unnervingly creepy atmosphere, and I enjoy basking in it, awaiting my next startle.
After witnessing this suicide in the middle of an emergency psychiatric assessment, Dr. Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon; 13 Reasons Why) is haunted by exaggerated sinister smiles that gradually drive her insane. But as she clings to her remaining sanity, she must learn the reason and pattern behind the suicide she witnessed so that she can escape the same macabrely grinning fate. All the while her boss (Kal Penn; American Horror Story) and husband (Jessie T. Usher; The Boys) offer no aid or understanding of her unique malady, so she reluctantly accepts the help of her detective ex-boyfriend (Kyle Gallner; The Cleansing Hour, The Cleanse, Jennifer’s Body).
What unravels is a pattern of death much like The Ring (2002), One Missed Call (2008) or It Follows (2015). The polymorphism of our evil entity harkens of It Follows (2015), whereas its appearance is unmistakably similar to the demonic possessions in Truth or Dare (2018). And while nothing about this film feels unique, creative or especially different, it’s just made so well! And therein is what makes it feel fresh to the genre.
The visuals are effective. We enjoy one of the most mangled faces since that first victim in The Ring (2002), one of the most pendular neck swings since Terrified (2017), a gangly-limbed horror, an outstanding and gory face peeling scene, and a variety of other shocking imagery. The gore is just frequent enough, and the gaps therebetween are compensated by tactful, well-executed jump scares after slow builds in tension.
Writer and director Parker Finn’s first feature film is a creepy, jumpy success, whose greatest strength is execution. I was quite entertained by this very well-made, very well-produced, very creepy movie. It wasn’t riveting or wowing. But it is a solid popcorn horror good for jumps, atmosphere, creep factor and gore. More importantly, I can’t wait to see what Parker Finn does next!
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 464: Troll (2022), Monster Movies, and Large Rocks
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Zanandi (@ZaNandi on Twitter) discuss the 2022 creature feature Troll. Directed by Roar Uthaug, and starring Ine Marie Wilmann, Mads Sjøgård Pettersen, Kim Falck, and a gigantic troll, the movie focuses on what happens when an ancient monster starts strolling across Norway. In this episode, they also talk about troll movies, likable monsters, and church bells. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
John’s Horror Corner: The Hills Run Red (2009), a pleasant surprise of a grimy, gritty, gory slasher wrapped up in a movie within the movie.
MY CALL: The raunchiness and gory feistiness of Wrong Turn 3 (2009) meet the brutal, grimy Leatherface of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) in this unexpectedly pleasant surprise. The writing and acting may feel more than a bit unpracticed, but this movie still does an excellent job delivering the goods from story, pacing and over-the-top villainy to mean, gritty gore and wild twists.
Most likely inspired by The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and aiming to take its grotesque themes to the next level, the opening scenes of this movie are successfully wincing in this bloody, flesh-snipping endeavor with graphic imagery of visceral self-mutilation.
After the release and subsequent ban of a sadistic slasher movie in 1982, no sign of any film prints nor cast members nor even the director Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler; The Grudge, VFW, Ava’s Possessions, Tales from the Crypt) were ever found. Determined to find the long-lost original film, Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink) sets out to make a documentary of his investigation as he visits each 1982 filming site. After recruiting the filmmaker’s daughter Alexa Concannon (Sophie Monk; Blood Feast), Tyler is joined by his girlfriend Serina (Janet Montgomery; Salem, Wrong Turn 3) and friend Lalo (Alex Wyndham; Yellowjackets) to pursue this project.
Visiting one site at a time, they interview locals and people who saw the movie back in 1982 as they trek deeper into the woods and farther from humanity. We also enjoy gory flashback recounts of the lost movie’s scenes as they arrive to locations of death scenes. The “tree scene” is grotesque and reminds me of the gory, booby trap feistiness to be found in Wrong Turn 2-3 (2007, 2009).
Something that took me aback is that this movie features a LOT of nudity. So much, in fact, that I was highly skeptical of the quality of the film to come. It’s not unlike when an adult filmmaker tries his hand at horror, but sticks to what he knows to an uncomfortable degree. However, much to my surprise, this movie needed no such thing. Yes, there’s a lot of completely gratuitous nudity; so much that it doesn’t make sense sometimes. Yet, this is a substantially entertaining horror film all on its own. It never needed these cheap tactics.
Director Dave Parker (Tales of Halloween, Puppet Master: Doktor Death) combines the raunchiness and gory feistiness of Wrong Turn 3 (2009) and the brutal, grimy Leatherface of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) in this really pleasant surprise of a movie! Among the gore, we see a meat hook-impaled victim ripped in half at the middle, a menagerie of elaborately mangled corpses, a vile and long torture scene, and various acts of brutal bloody violence.
The Babyface killer (Danko Jordanov; Wrong Turn 6) is a dark force of nature, with an incredibly creepy cracked mask. His hair and skin harken of Jason Voorhees whereas his mask, behavior and backstory smack more of Leatherface’s origin. When this hulk springs into action, he is fast, agile, skilled and shocking. Any gorehound ought to be quite pleased with this.
The writing and much of the acting is B-movie quality (but more by inexperience than just plain badness), and the story takes some wildly interesting turns. Truth be told, I wasn’t wowed with the twists within, but it didn’t matter. I was still very entertained by this movie overall, from the plot points and back story to the death scenes. The end is a fun, bloody, double-crossing free for all. Very fun watch for gorehounds and fans of the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) (and sequels) and Wrong Turn 2-5 (2007-2012).
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 463: Scream 3, Parker Posey, and Trilogies
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Zanandi (@ZaNandi on Twitter) discuss the 2000 horror sequel Scream 3. Directed by Wes Craven, and starring Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette and the always great Parker Posey, the movie focuses on what happens when the Scream franchise goes to Hollywood. In this episode, they also talk about costume design, excessive screaming and the brilliance of Parker Posey. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Share this post:
MY CALL: Right up there with Fulci’s Zombie (1979), all three films in Lucio Fulci’s “Gates of Hell” trilogy (this being one of them) are delightfully gory affairs. A must-see for gorehounds who desire to cover their influential horror of the 80s.
This movie gets off to a gruesome start right away with a horribly mangled body and a stab “through” the back of the head (Daniela Doria; The Black Cat, City of the Living Dead, The New York Ripper) and out the mouth! Gorehounds will delight in this deliciously gross film.
Along with their young boy Bob (Giovanni Frezza; Manhattan Baby, Demons, A Blade in the Dark), Norman (Paolo Malco; The New York Ripper, Demons 3) and Lucy (Catriona MacColl; City of the Living Dead, The Beyond) rent a New England home at the edge of a cemetery. There for Norman’s academic research, it is readily apparent that Norman knows more about the house than he is letting on to his wife. He is there to continue the research of the late Dr. Peterson, who was researching a turn-of-the-century surgeon known for his questionable practices: Dr. Freudstein (Giovanni De Nava; Murder Rock).
We find suspicious warnings of the dangers ahead from a local little girl Mae (Silvia Collatina; Murder Rock, The Great Alligator) and their babysitter Ann (Ania Pieroni; Inferno, Tenebrae), who also secretively seems to be up to something in the old Freudstein house. And if that shouldn’t be enough to scare someone away, not only does the cemetery encroach the yard and driveway of the house, but Freudstein’s sarcophagus is in the floor of the house.
Of course, the more time spent in the house, the more weird and dire things develop. There is a comically insane, over-the-top scene involving a manic bat attack and the extremely bloody dispatching of the bat. Blood bubbles and spurts and sprays across the room and paints the floor. Fulci certainly had fun with this one. The plentiful corpses in this movie are so mangled and gross with chunky, scrappy wounds. As hokey as some of the stabbery may appear by today’s standards, I’m thrilled by how much of it is fully showcased on-screen. This movie also features one of the grossest, “most maggoty” stabs ever. And when we finally see him, Dr. Freudstein is a monstrosity.
This seems to be on the more coherent side of director Lucio Fulci’s (Demonia, City of the Living Dead, Zombie, The Beyond) filmography. But regardless of its comprehensibility (as some prefer the zany incomprehensible Italian horror fare more), this was a pleasant, fun, nostalgic rewatch for this horror fan.
Share this post:
The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 462 – The Pulp Fiction and A Night at the Roxbury Soundtrack Draft
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Nicholas Rehak (@TheRehak on Twitter) draft their favorite songs from the Pulp Fiction and A Night at the Roxbury soundtracks. In this episode, they also talk about 1990s dance hits, surf rock, and how Tarantino puts together his soundtracks. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
Movies, Films & Flix 