John’s Horror Corner: Ghoulies (1985)

MY CALL: Terrible special effects, but I just don’t care. I love this random, stupid movie. IF YOU LIKE THIS WATCH: Things like Puppet Master (1989) and Critters (1986).

Fun Fact: This was Mariska Hargitay’s first movie role.

Unlike most 80s horror, this movie wastes no time before revealing its slimy, latex monsters to us.  What’s more is that this horror is somewhat kid-friendly (PG-13). We open with a devil-worshipping cult holding their quarterly white-hooded meet and greet.  Like cute, slimy little mascots, the ghoulies look on as the sorcerous cult leader’s plans to sacrifice an infant are foiled.

Decades later that infant grows up into a man and inherits a creepy Hollywood mansion, complete with a pentacled grave site, black magic compendia and a weird groundskeeper (Jack Nance; Dune, The Blob).  Jonathan Graves (Peter Liapis; Ghoulies IV, Wishmaster) and his girlfriend Rebecca (Lisa Pelikan; Lionheart) throw a housewarming party and Jonathan decides it would be a cool idea to perform a ritual and summon a spirit.  When this apparently fails, he becomes obsessive of the dark arts and persists until he successfully summons the ghoulies in his back yard.

This movie is weird, neat, goofy, and doesn’t seem to have a clear direction.  Later, Jonathan summons some two-foot tall dwarves.  Then he somehow compels his friends–including Donna (Mariska Hargitay; Lake Placid) and Anastasia (Victoria Catlin; Howling V: The Rebirth, Maniac Cop)–to help him with another ritual after an awkward dinner party.  This time he summons Malcolm (Michael de Barres; Waxwork II), the guy who tried to sacrifice him as an infant!  Random.  Oh, and Malcolm is his father.  More random.

Sticking with the random theme, Malcolm strangles a guy to death with his super long tongue.  Malcolm also reclaims control of his ghoulies and intends to steal the life energy from Jonathan.  With this we got some black magic battles which are truly awful.  The terribleness of this black magic bouts is punctuated by blue and red laser special effects.

The effects are weak, but quite entertaining.   The ghoulies remind me of Boglins–those rubber puppet toys from the 90s that were an odd mix of cute and ugly.  They’re slimy, ratty, ugly and hairy, and they each have their own unique appearance.

If you’re looking for a good rainy Sunday afternoon horror that will bring some smiles, then toss Ghoulies in your DVD player and enjoy.