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An Ernest Scared Stupid Theory – Trantor the Troll Doomed Himself When He Placed a Curse on the Worrell Bloodline

August 25, 2021
The troll’s curse put him up against the tenacious Ernest P. Worrell

“Hear me, Phineas Worrell. When the face of death covers the moon, one with your blood in his veins will release me, and victory will at last be mine!” Trantor the Troll

Legend has it that from that moment on, Phineas’ descendants would get dumber and dumber…and dumber – A local Briarville legend

If you enjoy this random Ernest Scared Stupid theory, make sure to listen to the podcast episode we recorded about the movie. You’ll love it, we explore Miak, and what it might be.

What I love about Ernest Scared Stupid is how the curse that Trantor the Troll places on the Worrell family helps explain everything that happens in the 10 film Ernest franchise. The reason Ernest is so “dumb” is because his relative Phineas P. Worrell caught and trapped a child killing troll. While burying the troll in its eternal grave, Trantor unleashes a curse on Phineas that helps explain why Ernest P. Worrell is who he is. Basically, the curse makes each generation of the Worrell family dumber. What’s interesting, is that while Ernest seems to have lost book smarts and the ability to be cynical, he is an inspired inventor who can build gigantic tree houses, create functional turtle parachutes, and is adept at driving any vehicle known to man (Including Santa’s sleigh). Thus, Trantor’s curse must have based on his definition of dumb, as Ernest was never able to finish high school, but, his knowledge of all things mechanical are unrivaled.

What Trantor didn’t expect was that the curse helps Ernest achieve some miraculous feats as his “child’s heart” helps him save Christmas, survive the electric chair, and fulfill a prophecy when his courage causes bullets to miss him. Also, as the curse predicted, Ernest does set Trantor free. However, Ernest is the only adult in town willing to battle Trantor, and this leads to Traitor’s demise. The things that can kill Trantor are the heart of a child, and a mother’s care. Initially, Milk (viva la Miak – David Cross took a guess as to what Miak is) could’ve done the trick. However after Trantor collects five children (horrifying), he’s able to raise his troll army and become Uber Trantor (think Jason X).

Miak = Comedy Gold

During the finale of Ernest Scared Stupid, Trantor has become too powerful for milk to stop him. Ernest learns that it’s love that can stop Trantor. So, he picks him up, dances with him, and plants a kiss on the troll. No sane human would do this, only the cursed Ernest and his “bottom of the gene pool” lineage would think of this. So, Trantor makes the Worrell lineage dumber, but he also creates someone with the heart of a child (and strength of an Ox) who can stop him. Take a look at this quote from the movie, you’ll see that someone “with the heart of a child” can stop Trantor

“From the innocence of five,

an evil army shall arise.

When blossoms shower down like rain,

my dark kingdom will come again.

There is one who can

stop me if he will dare,

with the heart of a child…

and a mother’s care.”

ERNEST TIMELINE (to prove the curse also helped Ernest P. Worrell do great things)

Long Ago – Briarville Missouri – In the beginning of Ernest Scared Stupid, Phinneas Worrell uses a child as bait to catch an evil troll that followed the settlers to the new world, and stole children so he could resurrect his army. The plan is successful, as they capture Trantor and bury him deep in the ground. Before Trantor the Troll can be buried, he says “When the face of death covers the moon, one with your blood in his veins will release me.” Trantor also curses the Worrell lineage to become “dumber, and dumber and dumber.”

Here’s a note about Phineas P. Worrell from the Fandom page – “Reverend Phineas Worrell – A distant English-born ancestor of Ernest in “Ernest Scared Stupid“. He helped banish a troll named Trantor, who Ernest accidentally released several generations later. Phineas was unique among the known Worrell family in that he appeared to have a relatively serious disposition and appeared to be quite intelligent for the brief moment that he was shown. However, as Trantor was being banished, the troll placed a curse on the Worrell family that would make members of the family considerably less intelligent with each successive generation, ultimately culminating in a member of the family that would release Trantor.”

1949 – Ernest P. Worrell is born. We don’t know about his parents. In Ernest Scared Stupid he says he didn’t know his father well (and that he didn’t have forefathers).

1959 – Fourth Grade – His teacher says “He never knew when to quit.” This is when we learn about his tenacity. Somehow the curse has made him very determined, when you watch the movies, you’ll notice that the dude always keeps going.

1987 – Ernest Goes to Camp – Ernest understands sign language, builds a makeshift catapult and makes functional parachutes for turtles. Most importantly, He passes an initiation ritual when his courage alters the course of three bullets to prevent them from striking him. Since the magic of Trantors curse is placed upon him, it’s possible that it protected him from the bullets.

1988 – Ernest Saves Christmas – Ernest helps Santa escape from jail (he believes he is Santa), and successfully steers Santa’s sleigh. He’s the only person who believes Santa is Santa. Dude saves Christmas. He also helps a runaway teenager get back on track.

1990 – Ernest Goes to Jail – Ernest survives the electric chair and foils a bank robbery. This is where the curse comes in handy. Trantor needs a dumb Worrell relative to release him. It’s possible the magic kept Ernest alive when it would’ve killed any other person on the planet. He also becomes magnetic, and gains the ability to fly for a short period of time. The magic is real.

1991 – Ernest Scared Stupid – In the beginning of the film, Ernest is trapped inside of his garbage truck, and is compacted inside a massive square heap of garbage, the hunk of trash falls out of the garbage truck and we see Ernest landing face first. He suffers zero injuries (the curse really has made him powerful). Then, after he lets Trantor out, he’s the only person who can stop him.

Here’s a quote from Old Lady Hackmore:

“You are the only troll fighter we’ve got. You’re the seventh son of the seventh son. You’re the baby. You’re the boy. You are the great redneck hope.”

This leads to Ernest finally figuring out how to defeat Trantor. Think about it, only a maniac would pick up a demonic troll and kiss it on the lips in a true showing of love. What’s great is the curse that Trantor unleashes proves to be his undoing

It’s great storytelling that makes the entire franchise make sense.

Also, The magic must’ve stayed with him as the followup films feature some gnarly happenings as well.

Ernest Rides Again – His body is so powerful it prevents nails from entering his head

Ernest Slam Dunk – He is given magical shoes

Ernest Goes to School – He receives a serum that makes him super smart.

There you have it! Trantor doomed himself when he cursed the Worrells. Thank you for reading!

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) – Review: A Top-Tier Marvel Cinematic Universe Film That is a Blast to Watch

August 24, 2021

Quick Thoughts: Grade – B+ – Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is a blast. It’s nice watching something that doesn’t have the weight of every MCU storyline on its shoulders. If you’re looking for a fun origin story featuring solid action scenes, likable characters, and adorable creatures, it doesn’t get much better

Directed and written by Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy, Short Term 12), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings is a breath of fresh air for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as it doesn’t have the weight of 20+ films on its shoulders, and it can explore different worlds that get us away from world destroying titans. Also, it’s cool seeing Tony Leung (Hard Boiled, In the Mood for Love, Hero), and Michelle Yeoh (Supercop, Tomorrow Never Lies, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) in the MCU, and they’re given juicy roles that allow them to showcase their acting and action chops. Most importantly, Simu Lu and Awkwafina are wonderful as Shang-Chi and Katy, two karaoke loving best friends who find themselves traveling around the world (and never taking themselves too seriously) after being attacked by mercenaries in San Francisco. 

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings starts off by showing us how Wenwu (Leung), found the ten rings, and achieved power through centuries of war, murder and more murder. As the centuries progress, so does Wenwu’s wealth, as he hires out his trained mercenaries to kill world leaders and cause governments to collapse. During his quest to accumulate more power, he ends up coming across Jiang-Li (Fala Chen), the only person who can match his fighting skills. After an inspired fight scene, the two fall in love, have two children Shang-Chi (Lu), and Xialing (Meng’er Zhang), and settle down for a pleasant domestic life. Since it’s a movie involving a retired ganglord, trouble comes to find the family, and Jiang-Li is killed, which pushes Wenwu back to his life of terrorism (and makes him a slightly more sympathetic villain as he tried to live a normal life). From there, things go sideways for the family, and they disperse around the world, and meet up once again when Wenwu recruits them back into action.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is easily one of the most fun MCU films as it always makes sure to provide quality gags interspersed within the creative action scenes featuring bus chases, scaffolding brawls, and gladiator-esque battles. The bus brawl might be one of the most fun moments in recent MCU memory, as it gives us a glimpse of the fighting skills of Shang-Chi, and gives Katy a moment to shine as she drives an out of control bus through the streets of San Francisco. The scene features some cheeky humor, inspired choreography that drives the scene, and a solid villain named Razor Fist (Florian Munteanu), who has a giant blade attached to his arm (he also has a cool car). 

The cinematography by Bill Pope (Darkman, The Matrix, Baby Driver) keeps the action in the camera, and it’s nice not watching jerkily shot action scenes that are edited into oblivion. Things do go CGI-heavy towards the end, but the likable characters, and new villain keep it intriguing. Also, the costume design by Kym Barrett (The Matrix, Romeo + Juliet, Speed Racer) is solid, as each character gets a chance to look great while they engage in the fights which were choreographed by Guillermo Grispo (Solo, The King’s Man) and Andy Cheng (Into the Badlands, 6 Underground). 

It would be great to see Shang-Chi tear it up at the box office, as it’s the first Marvel Studios film with an Asian director and a predominantly Asian cast. Based on the initial reaction of most critics, the film will have a very Fresh Tomatometer score, which will hopefully get people into theaters, who will then promote the movie to their friends. Shang-Chi is a blast, and while it doesn’t hit the heights of Iron Man or Black Panther, it belongs in the conversation of being one of the best standalone MCU movies.

Final Thoughts – Go watch Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 383: Never Back Down (2008), Djimon Hounsou, and A+ Movie Villains

August 23, 2021

You can download or stream the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!

Mark and Phil discuss the 2008 martial arts film Never Back Down. Directed by Jeff Wadlow, and starring Sean Faris, Amber Heard, Cam Gigandet, Evan Peters, and Djimon Hounsou, the movie focuses on what happens when you move to Florida and make enemies with an A+ movie villain. In this episode, they discuss mixed martial arts, soundtracks, and why Ryan McCarthy (Cam Gigandet) is an A+ movie villain. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean, or Spreaker.

Undine (2021) – Review: Director Christian Petzold Has Crafted Another Excellent Non-Traditional Romance

August 22, 2021

Quick Thoughts – Grade – AUndine puts a sensitive and thoughtful spin on Undine mythology. Director Christian Petzold (Phoenix – watch it) has crafted another solid film that features an award winning performance from Paula Beer (Silver Bear for Best Actress at the 70th Berlin International Film Festival).

Between Phoenix and Transit, director Christian Petzold is no stranger to complicated relationships that play out in unexpected ways. Undine is no different, as it tells the story of Undine (Paula Beers), an elemental water nymph, who lives in Berlin, and is put in a terrible situation when her boyfriend Johannes (Jacob Matschenz) breaks up with her, and then she meets a kind hearted and innocent man named Christoph (Franz Rogowski). During the breakup with Johannes, she tells him that she will have to kill him, but after meeting Christoph (who accidentally causes a fish tank to shatter), she lets Johannes off the hook, and starts a loving and likable relationship with Christoph, an underwater diver who makes money welding and fixing turbines. From there, the two have a mellow relationship that involves large catfish, trains, and red wine. 

Petzold liked working with Beers and Rogowski so much on Transit, that he lied and told them he had written a movie with them in mind. Of course, he hadn’t written a script, so he knocked out Undine in six weeks, and gave Beers the hero role, and Rogowski the “love interest” role (a flip from Transit). The end result is another beautiful story of hidden identity, loss and heartbreak. The cinematography by Hans Froom (Phoenix, Transit) is solid as always, as he relies on long static shots, handheld camera work, and excellent underwater photography to give the love story varied looks. While watching Undine, it makes you wish that American films would have the confidence to linger on shots for a little too long, or let the characters be surrounded by silence. 

It’s a bit difficult to write about Undine because it’s fueled by wordless moments that showcase the skills of Beers and Rogowski, who carry many quiet scenes with ease. Their chemistry is exceptional, and you can almost feel their love coming through the screen, which shouldn’t be a surprise considering the performances in Phoenix and Transit (the final moments of Phoenix still break my heart). If you can embrace the non-traditional narratiive, you will love this film. 

Final thoughts – Watch Undine, then check out Phoenix, Transit and Barbara.

Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast – Episode 59: The Deepest Bluest Special

August 21, 2021

You can listen to Deep Blue Sea – The Podcast on Apple Podcasts, SpreakerSpotify, Tunein, Podcast Addict, Amazon, Google Podcasts, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts. Also, make sure to like our Facebook page!

Please make sure to rate, review, share, and subscribe!

Jay and Mark discuss the 11th and final chapter on the Deep Blue Sea 3 Blu-ray. In this episode, they discuss sparks, Sweet Lou, and debate which order the characters should be ranked in the credits. Most importantly, Jay unleashes his “Deepest Bluest” list, which ranks the 50+ chapters that have been covered on the DBS podcast.

Stay tuned for more Renny Harlin and shark movie coverage! Also, let’s hope there’s an annoucement about Deep Blue Sea 4 soon.

Please make sure to rate, review and subscribe to the DBS podcast.

The Green Knight (2021) – Review: An Impressive Medieval Fantasy That Showcases the Skills of Dev Patel

August 20, 2021

Quick Thoughts – Grade – B+ – The Green Knight is a visually beautiful spectacle that features a standout performance from Dev Patel

Directed, written, edited and produced by David Lowery (A Ghost Story, Pete’s Dragon), The Green Knight puts a stylish spin on the 14th century poem Gaiwan and the Green Knight. The A24 produced film is a sight to behold, and does a fine job expanding upon the epic poem by both adhering to the story, and changing up the ending to keep things fresh and speculative. Most importantly, the cinematography by Andrew Droz Palermo (A Ghost Story, You’re Next), and production design by Jade Healy (Pete’s Dragon, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Innkeepers) do an excellent job of creating a visually fresh world that feels dangerous, mystical and beautiful. It’s wild to think that The Green Knight only had a $15 million budget because it looks sumptuous and expensively dangerous. The special effects crew certainly had their hands full as almost every location is loaded with fog/smoke/mist, which adds an eerie feel to the Irish landscapes that feel like characters in their own right. Adding to the beauty of the film are the visual effects by WETA which were supervised by Kev Cahill (Gretel & Hansel – another great looking movie), and give Gaiwan’s world an otherworldly feel full of reds, blues, and neat matte paintings. 

The movie focuses on the exploits of Gaiwan (Dev Patel), the son of the enchantress Morgana/Mother (Sarita Choudhury), and the nephew of King Arthur (Sean Harris), who bites off more than he can chew when he accepts the challenge of The Green Knight (Ralph Ineson), who barges into Arthur’s castle during a Christmas celebration looking to play a game. The Green Knight tells Gaiwan that if he can land a blow on him, Gaiwan will receive the knight’s axe, and one year later, Gaiwan will have to go on a quest to find The Green Knight, and accept the same blow in return. Feeling cocky, and needing to prove himself because he hasn’t accomplished any great feats, Gaiwan chops off The Green Knight’s head, and immediately regrets it when the immortal knight gets up, picks up his head, and rides away laughing. 

A year flies by quickly, and Gaiwan is forced to travel alone to the Green Chapel, where presumably his head will be chopped off by The Green Knight. It would be a shame to wreck what happens next on the journey, just know that he runs across Joel Edgerton, Alicia Vikander (who has two roles in the movie), Barry Keoghan, and Erin Kellyman during his quest. What’s neat about The Green Knight is how it avoids sword fighting mayhem for more thoughtful interactions that involve headless people, gross scavengers, skeletons in cages (Willow reference!) and a fox who may or may not be friendly. 

Even if you’ve read the epic poem, Lowery made sure to add changes (by working out some mother issues), to the location, and the finale, which keeps things fresh and have already led to the creation of many “ending explained” articles. Also, the $15 million budget didn’t allow Lowery to tell a full-blown medieval fantasy, which forced him and his crew to get creative. For instance, costume designer Malgosia Turzanska (You Were Never Really Here, Hell or High Water) couldn’t design period appropriate clothing, so she and Lowery got creative and found articles of clothing that were close enough, while still looking awesome. 

The one thing that kept The Green Knight from receiving an A, is the focus on style over substance. It’s easy to understand all the stylish choices, but they prevent the audience from ever getting to know the characters. Sure, you have a basic understanding of who they are, but there is never a real connection.

Final Thoughts The Green Knight is a wonderfully constructed film that’s worth a watch. Let’s hope Dev Patel is remembered come awards time.

New MFF Final Fights Episode – Examining the Epic Final Fight in Captain America: Civil War

August 19, 2021

Mark and DJ Valentine (@TryingToBeDJV on Twitter) discuss the final fight between Captain America (Chris Evans), The Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) and Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) in the 2016 film Captain America: Civil War. It’s a excellent brawl that features boot punching, bloody faces, and a sophisticated fight narrative.

Make sure to follow DJ on Twitter, and check out the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Holler (2020) – Review: An Authentic and Confident Film That Features a Standout Performance From Jessica Barden

August 18, 2021

Quick Thoughts: – Grade – A –  Holler tells a funny, unique, and confident coming-of-age story that feels authentic and unpredictable. 

Directed and written by Nicole Riegel, Holler is an excellent coming-of-age story that focuses on a high schooler named Ruth (Jessica Barden) stuck between her life in the rural town of Jackson, Ohio, and potentially going to college, and leaving her older brother Blaze (Gus Harper) and drug-addicted mother (Pamela Adlon) behind. The best thing about Holler is that it eschews melodramatic plotlines, and doesn’t look down on the residents of Jackson. You can tell that Riegel grew up in the area because she gives the town and its surrounding areas complete authenticity, and doesn’t lean into idealized small town life, or “holy crap, this place is terrible,” vibes. Most importantly, Riegel has made a movie that doesn’t go where you’d expect, and despite some familiar situations, the movie goes to places that feel new and fresh. 

The casting is spot-on too, as Barden who has been putting in solid work in movies like The Lobster, Hanna, and Mindhorn (Capoeira!), carries the film on her shoulders with an effortless ease (which must’ve been a lot of work, because she’s so good). On paper, Ruth feels familiar as she’s a smart kid who desperately needs to leave her hometown, but she’s hesitant to leave because of her family (who want her to go to college). However, she’s an entirely new creation because she takes no sh*t, is fine with thievery, and is comfortable in both scrap yards and libraries. Barden drew on her working class background to find the character, and you can tell she loves Ruth, because she plays with her smarts, resilience, and naivety. 

The movie centers around Ruth and her brother Blaze being hired by Hark (Austin Amelio – watch Everybody Wants Some!!), the owner of a local scrap yard, who needs help bringing in more scrap. Their well-paying job is to strip abandoned businesses, homes or warehouses of iron, copper, steel, cables and anything else that can be sold. The job is dangerous and illegal, and they occasionally find themselves hiding from armed owners or security guards who don’t want their precious copper pipes being stolen. It’s dangerous work that really has no long-term future, but Blaze plans on making enough to catch up on late bills, and make sure Ruth can head to college. In other movies, there would be shoot-outs, foot chases, and dangerous men, however, Holler largely avoids the obvious and instead focuses heavily on the resilience of Ruth. It’s neat watching her read books that she hides in the scrap yards, or watching her find creative places to sleep to get out of the bitter Ohio winter cold. Also, the location selection is inspired, as local roller rinks (the pizza they are eating looks like roller rink pizza – it’s neat), scrap yards, and functioning plants are used to maximum effect, and add to the realness of the movie.

If you get a moment, check out this interview that Barden and Riegel did with RogerEbert.com. It’s an enlightening read, and well worth your time.  

Final Thoughts – Watch Holler and appreciate the unique and confident storytelling.

The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 382: The Suicide Squad (2021), Nom Noms, and Polka Dots

August 18, 2021

You can download or stream the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).

If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!

Mark and Megan discuss the 2021 superhero film The Suicide Squad. Directed by James Gunn, and starring Idris Elba, Margot Robbie, Joel Kinnaman, and Viola Davis, the movie focuses on a new(ish) group of villains embarking on a suicide mission that finds them battling a justifiably angry kaiju. In this episode, they discuss exploding heads, hallway fights, and likable characters. Enjoy!

If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!

You can download the pod on Apple PodcastsTune In,  Podbean, or Spreaker.

Jolt (2021) – Review: A Disappointing Movie That Relies Too Much On Unnecessary Style

August 17, 2021

Quick Thoughts – Jolt – D – Despite featuring game performances, Jolt is let down by a script that is too focused on stylized dialogue that kills the momentum and flow. The end result is decent, but only because Kate Beckinsale, Jai Courtney, Stanley Tucci, Laverne Cox and Bobby Cannavle (the cast is stacked) commit to the insanity.

On paper, an action movie about Kate Beckinsale going on a rampage because her “boyfriend” Justin (Jai Courtney) is killed by an arms dealer, sounds fun. However, the overly-stylized camera shots, Pulp Fiction-esque dialogue, choppy editing, and stunt doubles who wear distracting wigs (it’s bad), make it an exercise in style over substance. Which is a shame because Beckinsale is an action legend, and the movie unnecessarily saddles her with super powers that come from her intermittent explosive disorder, that gives her superhuman powers of destruction. The story relies on the jolts she gives herself to curb her violent tendencies, but they are never important, or even reliable, which makes them just an element of plot that feels shoehorned in.

Jolt is the type of movie where the villains begin conversations by saying “Do you like Lobsters?” and then break into monologues about them (while smacking the lobster they are eating loudly). After they are done with their monologue, Beckinsale promptly tells them that the speech was “really boring,” which is 100% true, and it makes you wonder why you had to listen to a lobster monologue in the first place. 

 It’s easy to understand why cinematographer Jules O’Loughlin (The Hitman’s Bodyguard, Angel Has Fallen) loaded Jolt with upside down, spinning, and stylized shots, as the script and action are all highly stylized. However, the majority of the shots are pointlessly stylized and they mostly result in dizzying effects that do nothing for the story. Much like Snake Eyes, the action movie is let down by its action, but it doesn’t have any likable characters (you like the people in Snake Eyes), so you’re left wishing Beckinsale had a better vehicle to star in.

It also hurts that excellent actors like Laverne Cox, Stanley Tucci and Bobby Cannavale have nothing to do but spout stylized dialogue, and constantly be one step behind Beckinsale (and catch babies that are thrown at them….). All of the pieces seemed to be there for a fun film, but they weren’t cut right, so the jigsaw puzzle never fits together the way it should. The end result is an uneven action film that doesn’t know what it is. 

You should check out director Tanya Wexler’s fantastic 2019 film Buffaloed instead. It’s lightyears better than Jolt, and features beautiful performances from Zoey Deutch and Jai Courtney (playing a character called Wizz), who are both wonderful and funny.

Final Thoughts: Skip Jolt, and watch Buffaloed instead.