Top 5 Supporting Characters in an Action film

Hello all. Mark here.

Here’s the explanation of an action movie from my friend Andrew:

“Action is a pretty broad genre. If people (plural) are getting shot, it counts as an action movie.”

Classic action films all have something in common. They feature fantastic sidekicks, accomplices or supporting characters. The heroes and villains need help and the characters below add to the awesomeness. Enjoy the list! Comment! Let me know what you think.

Commando-Arnold’s Biceps

some

We here at MFF know great biceps when we see them. No cinematic biceps have more character than Arnold’s in Commando. Without the biceps, there is no way Arnold could have shot 7,000 bullets with one gun.  You know the scene where he’s holding the bullets up in a curl position.  I did the math.  A bullet weighs around 7.45 grams.  1 pound=453 grams.  Screw the math, that is a whole lot of weight to be holding.   Also, he never could have defeated the skinny yet somehow chubby Australian guy who wears a mesh tanktop (see below).

bicep city!

Gladiator-Juba

He saves Russel Crowe’s life by rubbing maggots in an open wound on his arm, which happens to be a technique Patrick Swayze later used in Roadhouse. Check out the first gladiatorial sequence to see why he’s so awesome: He gets chained to a little weakling. He escapes by cutting the chain loose and kills some dude in a rhino mask. He reunites back with Maximus and they kill the dude with the trident.  Also, after the fight with the tiger guy, Juba starts a slow clap that would make any sports movie envious.

Great friend!

Tombstone-Doc Holiday

I’ll be your Huckleberry! Only Val Kilmer can play a dying alcoholic who’s still light years faster than any other man, woman, child or road runner. Also, the scene where he flips the cup around like a gun is awesome. I’d love to see him play flip cup at any area college party.

Epic!

If Doc Holiday was around in the movie Poseidon, Kurt Russel might have lived.

13th Warrior-Buliwyf

Not only was this guy a badass, he was the king of Badass-istan. He invades an enemy lair and kills the queen as he is simultaneously poisoned (a lesser man would have keeled over in .0001 seconds.

However, what I love the most is when the cannibal army attacks with like 3,000 horsemen, he saunters into the fray and kills their leader with one swipe, ending the reign of terror (remember he’s still poisoned). Then, with no hint of boisterousness or self-indulgent strutting, he promptly returns to his throne, strikes a picturesque pose, and dies sitting perfectly straight.

If I killed the head honcho of a brutal tribe of cannibals, I would damn sure do a little jig and follow with years of smack talk. Without him, Antonio Banderas – the Spanish guy, playing a Persian, fighting with the Vikings – wouldn’t have lived long enough to be the “13th Warrior.”

Whoa…

Hot Fuzz Andy’s

Sure the Andy’s were jerks who rock impressive mustaches but they eventually come around and catch marinara in face whilst fighting bad guys. They are terrible at catching crooks, occasionally have beer mustaches on top of their mustaches and love ice cream. Paddy Considine and Rafe Spall are obviously having a blast and it shows in their performances. Hot Fuzz is a treasure trove of wonderful moments and Andy/Andy contribute to many of them.

Mustache city

Speed-Annie Porter

Before Sandra Bullock was winning Oscars and lost in space she was keeping a bus over 50 MPH. Speed is an action classic that still stands out 19 years later. Sandra Bullock’s character Annie Porter contributes to the popularity with her cool, calm, cute and collected performance. Her banter with Keanu was fantastic and she brings the humanity to the chaos. Plus, she was so good in this movie they put her in Speed 2, which didn’t turn out so well.