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Big Budget Bonanza: Total Recall

April 5, 2012

Total Recall is a total Len Wiseman film. Here is a perfect synopsis of Wiseman from Grantland:

“This is the guy responsible for vomiting the Underworld films onto moviegoers, and was the director who thought it was a good idea to have John McClane jump off the tail of a fighter jet onto a decrepit freeway and slide away from a fireball in Live Free or Die Hard.”

This remake looks to be loaded with loud noises, visual splendor and Kate Beckinsale kicking people in the face.

I feel like people have forgotten that Colin Farrell is a really good actor. In the recent years he has done solid work in In Bruges and Fright Night. Hollywood has finally stopped lumping him in bad action films and let him do his own thing.

If anything this will be a whiz-bang remake that boasts a stellar cast and a visual flair reminiscent of Blade Runner. Do not get mad! I said “it looks like Blade Runner.” I’m quoting Grantland again about their hilarious Jessica Biel comments. They wrote that her performance will involve “squinting and pointing guns….she’ll be fine.”

This movie will not reinvent the wheel but it will reintroduce the lady with three boobs that captivated millions of generation Xers. Don’t expect a brave new world. Expect a Biel vs. Beckinsale brawl and Colin Farrell kicking, shooting and flashing (Chuck reference) his way through hundreds of bad guys.

The best part is that there will be a super long monologue by Ethan Hawke (Mr. Generation X).

2 Comments leave one →
  1. VJ Long permalink
    April 5, 2012 11:46 am

    as long as Farrell and Beckinsale are rolling down a red sand dune with their eyes bulging out of their heads at some point in this movie it will be totally worth it…Quaid, start the reactor!!

  2. johnleavengood permalink
    April 5, 2012 1:53 pm

    I saw nothing about Mars in the trailer I watched. Farrell, “Get you’re ass to Mars.”

    Kuato better be in this. That little Chucky-through-a-SlapChop siamese mutant twin really made the first movie for me. Him and, of course, Johnny Cab and the three-breasted woman. I just hope they keep all of the key scenes–like yanking something the size of a cherry out of a nostril.

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