Big Budget Bonanaza: The Expendables Two

Release Date: August 17, 2012

More guns, biceps and zany Lundgren. The only thing The Expendables 2 will not have is another loud breathing Mickey Rourke monologue. I don’t really care what the plot of Expendables Two is about. If it features more of Dolph Lundgren’s Viking obsessed Gunnar Jensen I will be happy.

Sylvester Stallone stepped down from his directing duties and handed them off to Mr. Con Air (AKA Simon West). This has me worried because West’s resume includes When a Stranger Calls, Tomb Raider and Bad Movie Tuesday victim The Mechanic. These movies are not good. They are capably made but they lack humor, excitement and panache. West’s best film is Con Air. Air was a bombastic movie that convinced the world that Nic Cage could be a buffed up action star. Hopefully, with Stallone’s guiding hand the film we fall into place and provide action lovers with explosions aplenty.

Another problem is Chuck Norris. Norris would only do the film if it was PG-13. However, now it has gone back an R-rating. Will the R rated cut just be a few random decapitations and stab wounds? The tonal inconsistencies of revolving ratings is never something you should have to worry about while filming.

Sylvester Stallone has pulled off a wonderful career resurgence due to his refocus on characters and story. His career disappeared due to 90s excess. Will this film collapse under all the egos and expectations? I’m hoping this film won’t just be a collection of moments that allow the actors to showcase their abilities to blow stuff up.

The first Expendables was not a great film. However, I would argue that it was pure entertainment. Stallone wanted to make a movie that audiences would appreciate. There was no pretentiousness amidst the mayhem.

From what I’ve heard JCVD is one of the bad guys, Chuck Norris is one of the good guys and Dolph Lundgren is Swedish.