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Movies, Films & Flix Roundtable: Total Recall and Bourne Legacy

June 25, 2012

Mark: I’m stoked that Edward Norton is seemingly back in 90s awesome mode. Jeremy Renner is a wonderful actor. However, where does the dude get all his wonderful fleeces and leather jackets? The same thing happened with Tom Cruise in MI4. I believed he could climb on the world’s tallest building and beat the snot out of a 50-year-old dude. But, I couldn’t believe that he would find a perfectly tailored leather jacket/hoodie randomly on the street. Does Renner have time to stop in at the GAP and find a perfect outfit? This is a strange thing to think about in a movie where he makes a fire extinguisher blow dart.

Sweet Sugar: I have to think that replacing Matt Damon in a movie series would feel like putting on a wet swimsuit.  The producers felt sorry for Renner and gave him a genetic cocktail of skills

Chuck Finley: Does anyone else feel like the CIA and whoever else in the Bourne collection are totally inept? Like how hard is it really to keep tabs on one dude? They shouldn’t have been spending all that time turning Ferrari’s into lawnmowers (?) or whatever other ridiculous aphorism you use for incompetence.

Mark: I love the moment where he asks one question and the assassin next to him says “you ask too many questions.”

Chuck Finley: I still can’t get over the “That’s all I have, got to go” scene. If you drop the line that Jason Bourne is in New York City currently you better follow-up with some more information. That would be like calling someone and going “Don’t leave your house this week”-“What?! wait, why?!”-“That’s all I have, go to go”. That prick just made you a hermit for no reason.

Mark:  I would tell every cop to look for custom fleeces.

Mark: I predict four things for the Total Recall remake.

1. It will be very shiny.

2. Jessica Biel will squint a lot.

3. Kate Beckinsale will do several unnecessary flips.

4. Colin Farrell will choose to get the memories of his character from In Bruges. He will then be annoyed by all the futuristic shenanigans.

Chuck Finley: I like in movies like this and the first Bourne movie you can forget how to kick major league ass like you would your new neighbor’s name and then all of a sudden it’s like “Holy shit, I know how to do Krav Maga and Jiu Jitsu”. That seems like something you would fucking remember, Colin. Also, asking someone why they are trying to kill you is the most asinine question possible. He might as well ask why the sky is blue and the  grass is green at that point. Just accept it as a fact and move on. And try not to get donkey kicked too hard by Kate Becks. The second to last scene with the falling car also begs the questions: Are they even on Mars? Because when they fired that whip back up it looked more like modern-day Seattle. And is someone going to dramatically suffocate or have a man-child living inside them? If not, I’ll pass.

Mark: Very true. They are in some sort of futuristic city then they are crushing a car in Vancouver. I hope the car they crush is owned by Arnold Schwarenegger…He then drops his paper grocery bag and says “Bullsh**.”

Mark: I love the scene in the Total Recall trailer when Kate Beckinsale unloads mass quantities of exposition then says “You haven’t even begun to see me try to kill you.”

When I was a bouncer I tried to throw those indie kids out as quickly as possible. I didn’t toss them around for a bit because what if I tweaked my back or got them stuck behind the dart machine? Farrell then escapes and they go on the most expensive flying car chase ever.

Chuck Finley: The scene with Colin and Kate is just grating. I never understand why people have to explain things about the situation before trying to kill someone else. It reminds me of The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly scene: “Don’t talk, just shoot” and The Incredibles: “You got me monologuing”. Just shoot first and then say something cool. Ex: *shoots person* “Looks like your idea of living…*puts on glasses*….”just got shot down”.YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mark: A Eurotrash villain kills a couple CIA agents then tells a joke. There is no reaction. He then says: The Crowd is dead tonight.”

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