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Movies, Films & Flix Roundtable: Alex Cross

July 14, 2012

Hello all, Mark here.

This weeks trailer talk is Alex Cross. I have a strange fascination for this film because Tyler Perry speaks entirely in a monotone voice while talking about following Mathew Fox to the gates of hell. Following somebody that far sounds like a lot of work. Another activity that is labor intensive is knowing every scenario that cops can think of. Fox has done just that and it all leads to him scuba diving in skyscraper pipes…..

Watch, read and enjoy!

 

 

Mark: Tyler Perry takes over Morgan Freeman’s role as Alex Cross. He has to battle a diabolical killer played by Mathew Fox who has done someting worse than Ben Stiller in Simple Jack. Fox has gone full “Christian Bale.” You will see. I love that this movie can be summed up as Madea, Dr. Cox and a Brothers McMullen chase down Dr. jack.

Sweet Sugar: If you tell a serial killer that he’s sick and twisted, wouldn’t that be a compliment? You might as well have said, “man, I love your shoes.”

Mark: What would be the best way to insult an insane killer?

Sweet Sugar: I would say “sorry, no time for tense banter right now, Keeping up with the Kardashians is about to come on”

John: Imagine saying to Kevin Spacey from Seven: “You know, dude, I’m impressed.  You’ve just really got yourself together.”

Mark: Hey Hannibal Lector. Didn’t you know Chianti is a terrible choice for human body parts? Wouldn’t a chilled merlot be better with brains and fava beans? Or,  Hey Buffalo Bill. You’re using the wrong lotion!

Chuck Finley: Hey Jason…uhh…nice mask. dammit I’m bad at this. shut up.

John: Who’s actually crazier?  Matthew Fox the serial killer or Matthew Fox “Lost” on his magical island–or wasn’t he on an island, or is he in the afterlife, or was there ever really an island at all?  Oh, I’ve got it.  That’s why he wants to kill.  That’s his motivation.  He’s still mad that after 10 seasons and that cursed babbling finale that he still doesn’t know what the damned deal was with that island!

Mark: I think his character from Party of Five went crazy because Neve Campbell, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Lacey Chabret all starred in serial killer movies and he didn’t. So, on the island he trained medical, gun and beard growing skills in preparation for his battle with Madea.

Mark: “There is not one scenario that you have thought of that he hasn’t figured out.” That sounds like a lot of work….

O’Lasavath: That’s probably how he plays chess. He figures out all possible scenarios of his opponent’s moves, and then he kills them. It’s no wonder why he’s not invited to chess tournaments.

John: Well Gerard Butler evidently turned his pecs and eight-pack into extra brains so that he could do exactly that in Law Abiding Citizen.

Mark: Do these bad guys go to Starbucks with their Ipad and write down every scenario? They order a grande latte, listen to Mozart and check off sky diving, scuba in pipes and bad acting.

Sweet Sugar: This movie makes being a FBI profiler look really easy.  I’d just drink coffee, smoke cigars, and say random things like “This guy is checking off the list” or “He’s focused” or “He’s got a clear path.”  In the trailer, I think I also heard “We’ve got to get in his head – where will he be next?”

‎Chuck Finley: *four women dead* “he targeting women dammit!”

Mark: The killer has been targeting blond women with blue eyes who stand approximately 5’2…. What does it all mean? We’ve got to get in his head and wonder who he will kill next!”

John: Oh, not Kristen Bell.  I like her.

Mark: Chief: “Manetti, get a patrol car on Kristen Bells house ASAP. I’m still hoping for a Veronica Mars movie.

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