Bad Movie Tuesday: The Apparition

via

John already covered this film with a wonderful examination of dirty hands, mold that devalues homes, pulse sucking and the futility of battling a ghost with a baseball bat. John’s talk of annoying sheet choking and ghosts that burped chairs intrigued me so I needed to watch The Apparition and write a BMT for it.

The Apparition is the story of attractive people who awaken various ghosts then are killed by those ghosts. I still can’t get over the hubris of the attractive scientists as they conjure a butt kicking. The problem is that the ghost is a prankster who enjoys growing mold, wrapping people in sheets and closing doors loudly. This of course leads to many scenes of svelte people looking at stuff while trying to act scared.

John was correct to say the mold was evil and capable of mass property destruction. I don’t know why the ghost loves mold but it spent a lot of time hiding strategic spores under the house and in kitchen corners. There is a particularly thrilling scene dedicated to a man poking the mold with a broomstick. Did ghosts create penicillin? Are we dosing ourselves with ghost matter. Is this their ploy to make us look at stuff?

via

This movie reminded me of the fantastically bad The Darkest Hour. A movie so wonderful we reviewed it twice. The movie features good looking people looking at stuff.

via

This movie is the same. People walk around the house and look at stuff.  They look at dolls, computer, ceilings, walls, pictures and speakers. There is wild scene where the evil demon has tied up all the scarves in a closet. Which must have taken a lot of commitment and a weird sense of humor. Also,  The ghost steals a camera and uses it to look at magazine cover queen Ashley Greene. The best part about this film is that you can look at these pictures and know exactly what will happen without ever watching the movie.

All pics via Rotten Tomatoes

Queen of the magazine covers Ashley Greene is used for nothing more than to dress down and have fantastic hair. I haven’t watched a Twilight movie in a while but I remember her being the spunky one among the sullen Cullens. Her performance in this film is surprising because she does the opposite of acting. There is a scene where she has to convey fear and her face doesn’t move which means she is very stoic or the act of fear is lost on Greene.

The Apparition fully deserved the 4% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. However, it is bad fun. It can be enjoyable to watch with friends. It didn’t make me fall asleep like I did  in Texas Chainsaw remakes. It isn’t gross like the Human Centipede and breaks The Grudges record for dirty ghost hands. The best part about it is that it doesn’t have those evil demon kids whom never cease to annoy me.

Watch The Apparition. Watch the cast as they look at stuff. Watch as the ghosts looks at stuff. Never threaten a ghost with a baseball bat.