Skip to content

John’s Horror Corner: The Howling: Reborn (2011), another damn teeny bopper high school relationship movie masquerading as a horror

January 27, 2013

MY CALL:  Just when I thought the world was done with sparkly vampires I stumbled across this: another damn teeny bopper high school relationship movie masquerading as a horror.  SKIP IT!  WHAT TO WATCH INSTEAD:  Well, if you’re in the market for a great werewolf movie that has a sense of humor, then see An American Werewolf in London (1981)–hands down the best werewolf movie ever made!  Second best would be The Howling (1981), which takes itself quite seriously.  Another fun one is Cursed (2005), which is loaded with clichés and honors many past horror flicks.  If you want another utterly ridiculous werewolf movie, then move on to Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985) and Howling 3: The Marsupials (1987).  But maybe skip Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988) unless you’re die hard about this franchise..

Shit!  This looks like a Twilight sequel.

I wouldn’t call it a remake.  This contemporized franchise reboot chronicles the “coming of adulthood” of high school senior Will (Landon Liboiron; Altitude).  Will has a thing for Eliana (Lindsey Shaw; No One Lives), one of his classmates that refers to her clique as a “pack.”  Much to his surprise, she invites him to party where he is drugged, shares some time with Eliana and thinks he sees a werewolf.

After the “attack” Will turns to his best friend and horror trivia expert to learn about werewolves.  Meanwhile Will notices that he doesn’t seem to need his prescription glasses anymore (like in Wolf), he’s stronger and more assertive, his wounds heal before his eyes and he spends more time with Eliana.  Their relationship is really coming along.  This flick focuses more on the emotions, self-discovery  and Will’s relationship with Eliana than werewolves.  Speaking as a 30-something adult, this movie is pretty lame.

Kay (Ivana Milicevic; Banshee) is the mother of a fellow student. She puts the moves on Will’s dad and shifts from kind-hearted and mild-mannered to sultry.  But there’s something special about Kay.  She has a special interest in Will and she knows something special about him–whereas there is nothing special about this movie.

Lots of people die; we don’t see it happen.  There are lots of werewolves; we don’t see them.  I mean, we get a glimpse and the costume/make-up were okay despite their long ugly rat tails.  But the werewolf screen time was very little until the last 20 minutes.

It’s one of those albino vampire Moorlocks from The Descent.

A giant wererat.

My Little Pony on steroids.

Will’s girlfriend turns into a “male” werewolf.

Transformation is much easier nowadays with CGI.  Spinal vertebrae pulsate before pushing out the skin.  But after the first transformation they were reduced to hideously simplified instantaneous CGI morphs without stages, pain, etc.  This flick, while awful, keeps in line with franchise tradition and includes a mid-coitus transformation scene.  With the exception of Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985), these sex scenes always include a female werewolf and a regular guy who’s in for a big surprise.

The only thing this movie does well is reinforce the admonishing trend that the newer a “Howling” movie is the less advisable it is to watch.

13 Comments leave one →

Trackbacks

  1. John’s Old School Horror Corner: Howling V: The Rebirth (1989) « Movies, Films & Flix
  2. John’s Horror Corner: Howling VI: The Freaks (1991) | Movies, Films & Flix
  3. John’s Horror Corner [INDEX] | Movies, Films & Flix
  4. John’s Horror Corner: Ginger Snaps (2000), a coming of age tale of lycanthropy | Movies, Films & Flix
  5. John’s Horror Corner: Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004) | Movies, Films & Flix
  6. John’s Old School Horror Corner: An American Werewolf in London (1981), the greatest werewolf movie of all time! | Movies, Films & Flix
  7. The Best Horror Came from the 80s: Horror movies that stand the Test of Time and their more modern counterparts, Part 2 | Movies, Films & Flix
  8. Wer (2013), a fresh and realistic take on the werewolf concept. | Movies, Films & Flix
  9. 15 Days until Halloween! October Suggestion #3: An American Werewolf in London (1981), the greatest werewolf movie of all time! | Movies, Films & Flix
  10. John’s Horror Corner: Late Phases (2014), throwing tropes out the window to deliver a fresh indie werewolf movie with a blind elderly antihero. | Movies, Films & Flix
  11. John’s Horror Corner: The Company of Wolves (1984), featuring two of the most stylishly weird transformation scenes in the genre. | Movies, Films & Flix
  12. John’s Horror Corner: Truth or Dare (2018), another serviceably enjoyable Blumhouse film mixing It Follows (2014) and Final Destination (2000), but packing little punch. | Movies, Films & Flix
  13. John’s Horror Corner: Good Manners (2017; As Boas Maneiras), a Disney-esque Brazilian horror-musical werewolf movie. | Movies, Films & Flix

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: