Bad Movie Tuesday: Guns, Girls and Gambling

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Non-linear, zippy dialogue and lots of guns. Watching Guns, Girls and Gambling is a like watching a dinosaur walk. It tries desperately to be Pulp Fiction but with none of the aspects that made Pulp Fiction good.  It tries hard but has a fatal flaw. Everything is repeated over and over. Everyone experiences something then explains what just happened to other people. I’ve never witnessed anything like it before. The movie could have been 20 minutes long. The same jokes are repeated over and over. For instance, people are always being corrected for saying “midget” and “Indian.” The corrections probably occur 40 times. Another problem is that the obvious is always stated.  like when a guy gets punched in the face Dane Cook’s sheriff says “Ouch, that must hurt.” Everybody states the obvious many times over. Then, they explain it again like the smirking female assassin who always shows up late and explains what just happened after somebody explained what just happened. It gets ridiculous.

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Guns, Girls and Gambling has dialogue so zippy it kinda makes you scowl. I know I am repeating this but everything is repeated and then that assassin lady comes in and repeats it all again. She has no reason to be in the film for but for obvious reasons she gets a load of screen time. The worst part about her character is that she shoots people unnecessarily. Like she tells a guy to deliver a message and she shoots him. Or when fake Elvis says he knows nothing and she kills him. It is just not practical for an assassin. When you are wondering the practicality of an assassin the movie is doing something very wrong.

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Along for the ride is Gary Oldman doing his best Elvis impersonation. He gets top billing but only seems to be doing a favor for Christian Slater. I love how he gets nominated for Oscars then appears in movies like this. Gary Oldman is up for anything and do can anything he wants. However, he ends up getting lit up by the female assassin and more stuff is repeated.

I’m thinking Christain Slater wanted to recreate the magic of True Romance. Slater is likable in this film and proves he can still anchor a film. However, he needs better material and new sunglasses.

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The oddest inclusion is girl who is called The Girl Next Door who repeats everything Slater says. When they first meet about 30 minutes into the film Slater spends five minutes recapping the prior events so she can get caught up. Then, they get cornered by the female assassin and recap everything again. If this review sounds repetitive imagine how I felt watching the film.

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I almost forgot Sheriff Dane Cook as a guy named Sheriff who is always one step behind and recapping everything that has happened after the assassin has already recapped everything.

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I understand that writers (especially first time writers) love cheeky dialogue and quirky characters. The stuff they are saying is clever and shows off a verbal acumen. However, they need to realize that the reason Pulp Fiction, Usual Suspects, In Bruges are classics is because they move forward at full speed and ask the audiences to follow the ride. You do not want to miss one moment because you will be two steps behind. With GG&G you can step outside, eat a burger and come back in ten minutes and everything will be recapped for you. It is not clever when it spells everything out and names all of it’s characters Sheriff, Chief, Rancher, Pocahontas  John Smith, Cowboy, Gay Elvis, Little Person Elvis, Deputy, Dark Eyes, Red Foot and The Blonde.

Watch the final ten minutes of this film because it will tell you everything that just happened. Of course, after those final ten minutes the Blond lady will come back and repeat everything.

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