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Bad Movie Tuesday: Playing for Keeps

April 2, 2013

Playing for keeps movie poster


Desperation is a stinky cologne and Playing for Keeps smells of old Stetson mixed with Brians Fantana’s Sex Panther.

Playing for Keeps is the oddest romantic comedy I’ve watched in years. I sat dumbfounded as a plethora of good actors slummed in the worst way possible. The production design was non-existent, the acting bonkers and script written by a forty three year old man named Doug (not researched). It is movies like this that are necessary for the general populace and Hollywood. It makes decent films good by comparison and somehow makes the Katherine Heigl film One for the Money seem better than terrible. Hollywood cannot produce too many of these films because the audience gets hip to the badness and the actors involved strive for better work after a flop. It is the equivalent of hitting rock bottom. They only place to go is up.  Also, the lack of good roles has forced actresses like Rashida Jones to write their own scripts that make for much better films like Celeste and Jesse Forever.

Playing for Keeps is an odd film about a former soccer legend scoring with soccer moms as he tries to rekindle his ex-wife’s love. He also proves to be a terrible father as he continually lets his kid down while he is busy sleeping with various housewives who may or may not be married. The women break into his house, show up uninvited and throw themselves at Butler with reckless abandon. Playing for Keeps is odd stuff. It looks like it was shot  in two weeks, has zero production value and Dennis Quiad seems very close to rehab.

Playing For Keeps Dennis


The most depressing aspect of the film is that it features  several wonderful actresses who are nothing but fodder for Gerard Butler’s Lothario. Uma Thurman, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Judy Greer literally stalk Butler and throw themselves at him in sad moments. In your head you are wondering why these women are playing such thankless roles in a borderline mysoginist movie. They’ve proven themselves with Oscar nominations, Oscar wins and critical praise yet they still find themselves in 4% Rotten Tomato rated films. I think they went the Caine route. Michael Caine famously couldn’t collect his Oscar because he was busy filming Jaws: The Revenge. When asked about the film years later he gave this famous quote

“I have never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.”

Here are the actresses thoughts while filming Playing for Keeps.

Playing For Keeps Catherine Zeta Jones


New Boat!

PLaying for Keeps Judy Greer


New brownstone and cell phone!

Playing for Keeps Jessica Biel


People will finally forget about Stealth!

Playing for Keeps was originally entitled Playing the Field. That change happened because the original title made too much sense. This change was important because the movie needed to make zero sense. It is a mind boggling thing and it baffled me at every turn. I’d like to see a movie about how the director and writer were able to acquire the cast with such a mind numbing script. Then, I’d like to see the sequel about filming the movie because there must have been some very depressed crew.

Don’t watch Playing for Keeps. If you want to watch a movie about soccer watch The Damned United. If you want to watch a good romantic comedy check out Celeste and Jesse Forever. If you rent this film they might make a sequel called Playing the Field for Keeps.

One Comment leave one →
  1. johnleavengood permalink
    April 2, 2013 4:56 pm

    I had comfortably forgotten about Stealth…that is, until you re-opened that old wound. LOL

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