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Bad Movie Tuesday: One for the Money

May 22, 2012

42, 8, 40, 11, 0, 90, 41, 13, 28, 11, 7 and 2. Guess what those numbers represent? They represent the Rotten Tomatoes scores for Katherine Heigls latest films. Only one of those movies was certified fresh. That movie was Knocked Up. The lovely comedy grossed $150 million and was positively reviewed by 90% of the nations critics. It is one of the highest grossing R-rated comedies of all time.

Heigl also starred in the lowest grossing theatrically released film of all time according to Entertainment Weekly. The 2006 film Zyzzyx Road made $30 theatrically.

Guess which movie she publicly attacked? Heigl lashed out at Knocked Up for being sexist. That is why Heigl is awesome. She is like the female Nic Cage. Heigl unnecessarily lashes out at her good roles and Cage buys dinosaur fossils. Cage spent himself into bankruptcy. Now, he has to act in terrible/enjoyable (AKA terribly enjoyable) films like Season of the Witch, Ghost Rider 2, Drive Angry 3D and an upcoming film where he plays an Alaskan Cop hunting John Cusack.

Heigl talked her way out of being an A list movie star. She spoke out against the roles that made her famous and got stuck playing a New Jersey bail recovery person. Her words wrote checks her acting skills couldn’t cash. She spent all of her good will and her films are seeing dwindling returns.  Heigl is stuck in romantic comedy purgatory (AKA New Years Eve, Killers, The Ugly Truth and Life as We Know it.)

You gotta respect that because it makes for some wonderful reviews of her films. Take for instance this fantastic article from Grantland:

Does Everyone Still Hate Katherine Heigl? A Thoroughly Unscientific Grantland Survey

One for the Money is about a New Jersey woman who becomes a bounty hunter because she got fired from her job at Macy’s. She gets a job with her shady cousin who smacks his food angrily. In fact, this movie features intense smacking. The worst part is that each bite sounds squishy. So, you have squishy chewing, bad dialogue, bored Heigl and a depressed looking John Leguizamo.

That is all the summary I can muster. If I only had to write one sentence for the film I’d write this:

One for the Money is not a prequel to Two for the Money.

I had to watch this film due to the 2% Rotten Tomato score and my past, present and future support of John Leguizamo. I hope he performs another one man show where he talks about his time on this film…

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