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The 2014 Magnificent Seven

December 7, 2014

Hello all. Mark here.

With the news floating around that Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt are going to star in the remake of a remake of Seven Samurai, I wanted to compile the 2014 Magnificent Seven. These seven are the cream of the crop of 2014 butt kickers and I would love to see their further exploits.

Pretend these seven characters somehow united to battle an evil warlord. The odds would be against them as endless hordes of goons hurls themselves at them with violent aplomb. However, by sheer will and face kicks they manage to save the day. The movie will be glorious and extremely implausible.

Without further ado here they are!

Lucy -Scarlett Johansson – Lucy – She can use 100% of her brain and basically destroy everything. Whoever, invades the village/town is in for a world of trouble and can probably expect to die quickly and violently.

lucy scarjo

Rita Vrataski -Emily Blunt – Edge of Tomorrow – She can relive each day and is used to battling incredibly tough aliens. She won’t be troubled by everyday thugs and it will be interesting to see her blow people away in her robot suit.

emily blunt

Artemisia – Eva Green – 300 – She probably won’t have time to kiss decapitated heads but she can certainly wreck shop all day. The biggest question is whether she can play well with others.

Eva Green

Curtis – Chris EvansSnowpiercer – Dude kicks ass and inspires people to follow him. The dude is fearless in battle and has no problem fighting axe yeilding  goons in the dark. The only caveat is that you cannot feed him gross protein bricks.


Rama – Iko Uwais – The Raid 2 The dude can take out 200 people by himself. He is a whirling dervish of violence. The Raid 2 is a beautiful example of mass chaos and he came out alive.

The Raid 2 prison fight

Sergeant – Frank GrilloPurge 2 – The movie was crap but after Warrior and Captain America 2 Frank Grillo deserves a bigger role. It will be fun watching this blue collar butt kicker take out waves and waves of thugs.

purge 2

John Wick – Keanu Reeves John Wick – He is the guy you call to kill the boogeyman. Also, after Point Break, Speed and Matrix Keanu is action movie gold

Keanu Reeves dog

Who would you pick?

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