15 Images for 15 Years of Horror: Part 2: The Good, the Bad and the Hilarious

Hello all. Mark here.

John (The Horror Leviathan) recently wrote a post about 15 photos for 15 years of horror films. His post inspired me to look back at the last 15 years and find my favorite horror moments. I’ve picked out 15 scenes that have rocked my world, made me laugh or forced me to have this face (You gotta watch Jaws).

I started with the year 2000 and worked my way up through 2014. Basically, I looked at the horror films that were released and picked the moments that I love.

Without further ado here are the photos!

The year is 2000. The movie is Dracula: 2000. The scene is when Dracula in the year 2000 steps out in full curly-haired glory. I remembered thinking “Should Dracula have a hair helmet? Shouldn’t he look like Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker’s Dracula?” The movie has been forgotten but I will never be able to quit the hair helmet.

Jason X is pure space hooey. However, there is an amazing moment involving two co-eds, sleeping bags, a tree and this dialogue “Do you want a beer? Do you want to smoke some pot? Do you want to have premarital sex?” The two women hunker down in their sleeping bags in hopes of some Jason X. However, they end up being used for serial killer batting practice.  The scene is funny, random and cheeky. It does not belong in such a bad movie.

So…….Michael Myers didn’t get decapitated in H20. He escaped certain death, kills Jamie Lee Curtis several years later and hikes back to his childhood home and battles Busta Rhymes. Did I mention Busta throws a killer spin kick and loves Bruce Lee? How the mighty have fallen.

Dreamcatcher was a star-studded horror hybrid that should have been amazing. However, all I can remember are Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows. What did you say? I can’t hear you over those eye dwelling creatures? When eyebrows overshadow a lot of farting and an alien that looks like poop you know you’ve done something wrong (or terribly right).

Parker Posey is my favorite vampire in the history of vampire history. She is a yuppie blood sucker who kicks her assistants in the face and sets herself up to be called a “c*ck juggling thunder c*nt.” She discusses the merits of lake trouts, has wonderful hair and has no problem kneeing her old assistants in the nuts. Her interrogation scene with Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity has stood the test of time and proved she was on another level of awesome.

Keanu Reeves is an underrated actor (Yeah. I said it) and I love the moment when he traps a spider in a jar, exhales cigarette smoke into it and says “welcome to my life.” The moment is weird, self-aware and very Keanu. I love the visuals of Constantine and this moment was authentic and slightly abusive to spiders.

Imagine you are lost, hurt and stuck inside an unknown cave system. You probably think things cannot get much worse. However, you hear a noise and it turns out to be hungry mole creatures who attack with lightning quickness.   These subterranean bringers of nightmares are the perfect villains and their introduction scared the crap out of me. They have no back story, motive or father issues. They are hungry creatures who simply want to eat you. I love The Descent because it is urgent, inventive and full of interesting characters (AKA lunch).

I just can’t quit 30 Days of Night. It is bleak, cold, bloody and for some reason the vampires are really well dressed. David Slade and cinematographer Jo Willems captured a beautiful/bloody moment when the camera is looking down on the street and blood is everywhere. It is visually arresting and says everything we need to know about these vampires (they are jerks).

The Happening is a marvel of insanity. I love that it exists and that M. Night Shyamalan was able to make an R-rated film about killer air. The best moment revolves around an old lady and science teacher Mark Wahlberg.

Mrs. Jones: Planning on stealing something?

Elliot Moore: No, ma’am, we’re not.

Mrs. Jones: Plan on murdering me in my sleep?

Elliot Moore: What? No!

The House of the Devil builds to a moment so whacked it hurt my soul. This gross person scared the crap out of me and put director Ti West on my radar. I love how he patiently built to this insane moment and was able to nail the landing. I had a hard time sleeping after I watched this dang film.

I love the opening of Devil. It is atmospheric, visually inventive and sets a wonderful tone. The shot has lingered in my memory and I will champion this film forever. For all you haters out there who complain about the toast scene I want you to know that it makes sense. It is a wonderful example! I would hate to drop my toast after preparing it! Also, it is a cheap Devil detector.

The red demon in Insidious is a jerk. He pops up at the worst times and is a straight up menace to pleasant family society. This scene in Insidious shocked the world and propelled James Wan to legendary status. I hate you red demon. Patrick Wilson is cool though.

I love Grabbers. It is about Irish villagers getting drunk so they can survive an alien attack. This picture below features a drunk man being flicked a quarter-mile by an angry alien. The alien knew it couldn’t suck his blood so it improvised and added more footage to its NFL field goal kicking reel.

Byzantium is chock full of dysfunctional families, Gemma Arterton chewing scenery and a waterfall that pours blood. The visual is spectacular and gives the vampire world something new (No hair helmets here!).

The only thing I took away from Deliver Us From Evil is that cops and priests wear tailored shirts and leather jackets. It was very distracting. Also, Joel McHale (Community, The Soup) knife fights a demon guy. The scene below is the best part of the film. It features a creepy dude, a zoo and form-fitting shirts.

What moments did I miss? What would you add?