The MFF Random Awards: 1995 Edition! A collection of asthmatic villains, tailored vests and hovercrafts

Hello all. Mark here.

1995 Week continues! I started off the 95 spectacular with a look back at Mallrats and now it is time for the Random Awards!

1995 was a fantastic year for cinema. Toy Story changed animation, Bond was cool again and Nic Cage won an Oscar. Among all the fantastic films there were many random moments that defined a great year of movies. The following post celebrates the randomness of 95 and cherishes the small moments involving skittles, blood explosions and leather jackets.

Look for part two soon and keep checking back for more 1995 awesomeness!

The Roger Ebert “weirdest villain since Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet” Award.

In Kiss of Death Nic cage plays a guy named “little junior brown” He loves acronyms, bench presses strippers and has asthma. Pure gold.

 

The Tropical Fruit Bubblelicious and Skittles award

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence became legends when they kept their cool, turned the tide on a gunman and requested snacks. I loved this moment when I was a teenager.

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Best death via very long fall and satellite smoosh award

Sean Bean dies often in cinema. He has been blown up, decapitated and decapitated while being blown up. My favorite Bean demise happened in Goldeneye. The dude survives a massive fall then gets smooshed by a massive satellite .

 

Daniel Craig and Kate Winslet were in A Kid in King Arthur’s Court award (?)

I still can’t believe Daniel Craig had this bowl cut.

 

Greatest vest ever award

Ed Harris rocks a tailored vest like none other in Apollo 13.

 

Best usage of blood explosions and horny shadows award

Dracula: Dead and Loving It is an underappreciated gem.

 

Fat man, tiny coat award

I love Tommy Boy. I feel really bad for the coat.

 

Best response to an incredibly long answer award

Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

 

Best “eye open” napping award

Major Payne sleeps with both eyes open. Do not plot on him.

 

Best Jack Black cameo award

I was watching Waterworld a couple years ago and I was shocked to see Jack Black trying to kill Kevin Costner. Too bad he got speared through the leg and crashed one of the last airplanes on the planet. Classic Jack Black!

 

Best Assasin/priest in a silly outfit award

I really really really really love that Dolph Lundgren played a hitman priest looking to kill Keanu Reeves in Johnny Mnenomic. His outfit looks cobbled together by a madman with a tiny costume budget. I think it works.

 

If you wear a sweet leather jacket you can easily influence troubled youth award

How do you win over a classroom full of dangerous youth? Wear a sweet leather jacket like Michelle Pfieffer did in Dangerous Minds. The world would be a better place if more people wore awesome leather jackets.

 

Drew Barrymore was in Batman Forever award?

I remember nothing about Batman Forever.…

 

Best place to work award

You can lose all the money, have a fake funeral, get stoned on brownies and fix everything via a rock show. Greatest job ever.

 

Best usage of a hovercraft award

Hovercrafts are normally very boring. However, put Jackie Chan on a hovercraft and magic happens.

hh