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The MFF 1995 Random Awards: Part Two: A collection of nut shots, raspberries and swimming pools

March 26, 2015

Hello all. Mark here.

The 1995 train is rolling! So far Mallrats, Before Sunrise, Heist crews,  Best Horror Moments, and part one of the Random Awards have been released. While working on the random awards I compiled a list so long it became two posts! I couldn’t cheat the world of random awards involving step siblings, Volkswagen back seats and John Leguizamo.

Here is part two of the random awards!

Best nut shot of 1995

How do you stop a four armed killing machine? Punch him in the balls. Is it honorable? Nope. Will you still be alive. Yep! Mortal Kombat is a weird film.


Best killing of an aquatic sea beast that is probably endangered 

Kevin Costner and crew were hungry so he killed a 20 ton beast. Wasteful? Yes. Practical. No. Did it make Costner look amazing. Yep.

Sea eater waterworld

Worst movie theater patron ever

If Sam Neil from In the Mouth of Madness is in your theater I suggest you get a refund and find a bomb shelter.


Best moment involving David Allen Grier being frightened by a crocodile

Grier is hands down the best cinematic yeller

John Leguizamo can do anything award

Dude needs more fanfare.

wong fu

When bringing a knife to a gun fight actually works award

Desperado was the coolest thing ever when I was 13. It had violence, music, more violence and Salma Hayek. My favorite moment involved Danny Trejo wiping people out with a whole lot of throwing knives. The dude was lethal.


I’m glad I wasn’t a troubled youth who ran into Nicole Kidman’s To Die For character award

Joaquin Phoenix never had a chance.

to die for

Best walking and talking

Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke have the walking and waxing poetic market cornered. I love Before Sunrise. 

Before Sunrise

Sandra Bullock is such likable person she is able to pull off being a stalker award

While You Were Sleeping is about a subway attendant who weasels her way into a family via pretending to be the fiance of a man in a convenient movie coma. She pulls it off!


Best armored truck robbery disguises

The face paint work is glorious in Dead Presidents. However, what happened if they got sweaty? You would have tons of makeup in your eyes.


Emma Thompson is the best award

She wrote the adpated screenplay for Sense and Sensibility and proved she is pretty awesome. I’m still mad at Alan Rickman for his Love Actually antics.


Best yelling of the word “freedom” while being disemboweled

I’m amazed it was so coherent. My “freedom” yelling would have sound like “AAAHHHHHHHDOM”


Best neck stab via an angry Italian

Joe Pesci is really good at stabbing necks.

Best swimming pool gyrating by a Saved by the Bell cast member

Showgirls is insane! It has become a cult classic that is applauded for being so insane! This pool scene is bonkers.


You turned the word “raspberry” into “rahsperry.” award

Harvey Korman is a Mel Brooks All Star


Remember how good Stephen Baldwin was in Usual Suspects award

Before movies like Sharks in Venice he was pulling off great roles in really good movies.


Best union of step-siblings

I love Clueless. Paul Rudd and Alicia Silverstone are so darn likable you can’t help but cheer for them to get together.


The back of Volkswagens are uncomfortable award

Kudos to Kevin Smith for driving a joke about Volkswagens being uncomfortable into the ground. I love Mallrats.


Best shopping cart full of booze

Nicolas Cage drank himself into the world’s hearts in Leaving Las Vegas. He also won an Oscar and has confused everybody for 20 years.

las vegas

Best reaction to stuff

Friday is a really good film. Their “damn!” reaction has been stuck in the lexicon and temporary caused world peace.


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