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Alec Trevelyan, Goro and Tony Perkins: The 1995 Heist Crew.

March 23, 2015

Hello all. Mark here.

JMoore (AKA Ham sandiwch) is back! The last time you heard from him he was giving the world an amazing football team comprised of Animated movie characters. Now, he has given the world the greatest 1995 thieving crew since Heat or those evil euro trash people from Die Hard With A Vengeance.

WIthout further ado here is the 95 Heist Crew!

Last year, Mark’s article The 2014 Suicide Squad of Villains highlighted the best villains of 2014 after the announcement of the cast for DC’s Suicide Squad. In the spirit of MFF 1995 week, Mark and I came up with the idea to see what criminals 1995 had to offer. Since Heat and Die Hard With a Vengeance were released in ‘95, I’m going to put a spin on this list as if it was the short list for a Heist. Since the Heat and Die Hard guys are busy with their respective heists, this list would be of untapped potential….

The Ringer: Alec Trevelyan formally Agent 006 Golden Eye

Former MI6 intelligence operative with all the necessary tools for a heist, trade craft, weapons training, slick hair and a British accent.

0066

The Heavy Foot: Captain Frank Ramsey Crimson Tide

Sure Captain Ramsey almost carried out a nuclear attack on Russia. But that is just proof he sticks to orders and never meant to command a nuclear submarine. He knows the plan and will stick to it to the tee. Perfect getaway driver.

gene hackman

The Brains: John Doe Se7en

John Doe gets the nod because he never lost control throughout the entire film. This ability to manipulate the given chess pieces would be perfect in the planning process.

seven

The Muscle: Goro Mortal Kombat

The MFF podcast touched on movies you don’t want to see again because it will most likely will ruin the nostalgia. This is one of those films. I haven’t seen Mortal Kombat since Jeremy Parson’s sleep over in the 5th grade. I’d like to keep it that way. I do remember the Johnny Cage vs. Goro fight being a massive let down. A nut shot then Cage knocks him off the cliff? I deserved better…so does Goro. Regardless, Goro is the obvious choice to be the muscle. Look at his picture for God’s sake!!!

goro

The Crazy: Tony Perkins Heavy Weights

I was 8 years old in 1995 and Heavy Weights was a well-used copy of my VHS collection. My admiration for the film carried well into my college years. It was a good ice breaker during one of the first dates with my now wife. And Tony Perkins was the perfect joke during my first job as a strength and conditioning coach. Perkins would spaz out at just the right moment causing havoc for the local authorities if the stuff hit the fan.

‘Attention campers…lunch has been canceled due to a lack of hustle…deal with it.”

tony perkins

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