The Best/Worst Fight of 1995: Analyzing the Goro vs. Johnny Cage fight in Mortal Kombat

The world loves great fights. When choreography, solid editing and courageous stunt men unite we get showstopping moments that live forever. One fight scene that lives in infamy is the short and awkward fight between Johnny Cage and Goro. Two men, six arms, four legs, one nut shot and two very surprised eyes.

We are promised a brawl for the ages and instead we get a slightly practical fight that features more one-liners than punches. They don’t say it but this is the only “flawless victory” in the film. There is nothing flawless about this fight because it features two experienced fighters making terrible decisions.

Here is how it plays out. Goro enters the human circle and screams something that sounds like “WHHHHHOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAOOOOOHHHHHHH (Scream has been shortened for readers). He is cheered on by a crowd of ninjas who seem like a mixture between a stereotypical fraternity met shoddily clothed ninjas and they fell into a radioactive vat filled with Monster energy drinks. What do these guys do with their free time?

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As Goro’s yelling subsides Johnny Cage enters the dark cave wearing traditional white-collar fighting garb (button up shirt. aviator sunglasses and slacks). Before Cage can say something pithy his glasses are smooshed by Goro. Do you find it odd that an immortal killing machine finds pleasure in crushing sunglasses? I know the director was appeasing the video game fans with the glasses but what was Cage’s plan with them? Would he hand them to Raiden? Imagine having an immortal watching your sunglasses during a fight!

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Goro is then instructed to finish Cage quickly and replies “this puny mortal will be no problem. I’ll crush him in one blow.” I have a problem with this because it is a terrible strategy. What if it takes more than one blow and Goro looks silly? With four arms imagine the kind of jab/hook/jab/cross combos he could throw. Why not wear him down with combos then “finish him?” My guess is that suit was not flexible so Goro could only lift his arms up menacingly. Eventually,  Goro lifts his arms WAY above his head expecting Cage to be frozen in fear. As the arms reach maximum height Cage does a split and this happens.

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I love that they shot a close up of Goro reacting to a nut shot. Pure gold.

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I love that somebody thought to deliver Cage’s video game nut shot/split at this moment. I also love that after the punch lands Raiden (the immortal god) punches a bro-ninja in the arm and yells “Yes!” This nut shot tactic not only delivers a laugh but it saved the audience from realizing how cumbersome the Goro outfit actually was. It was like when Harrison Ford was sick on the  Indiana Jones set so they simply had him shoot his foe. Back to the fight!

As Goro’s eye enlarge  Johnny makes his escape to a dead-end cliff (of course). Cage hides up in some rocks and allows Goro to walk right past him (would an immortal fall for that?). Cage gives away his strategic position by saying “those were $500 sunglasses asshole.” The line is followed up by a kick, kick, spin kick and another kick. Goro goes flying off of the cliff and hangs perilously on a strategic rock. Instead of “finishing” the fight Cage says “this is where you fall down.” Guess what happens? Goro falls into a stormy abyss of certain death. Fight over.

So, we get one nut shot, four kicks and several one-liners. Greatest fight ever!!!!!

Final analysis: If you are an immortal killing machine never leave your nuts open to a sneaky Hollywood actor.

If you are interested in reading about more fights John (The Horror Leviathan) has written about the scraps in Bowfinger, Troy and Undefeatable. I recently covered the back-breaking fights of Nicholas Sparks films as well.

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