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The Best/Worst Monster of 1995: The Big Slimy Worm/Shark (AKA Dinner) in Waterworld

March 27, 2015

water world

 

Roger Ebert explained Waterworld perfectly when he said:

I’ll remember some of the sights in “Waterworld” for a long time. But I won’t necessarily want to see them again.

I 100% agree with this sentiment for 118 of the 120 minutes of the film. The 118 minutes (including the credits) are excessive to the extreme and are a mixture of intriguing and dumb. There is a longer cut out in the world somewhere and I bet they explain the two minutes I became obsessed with.

Have you ever experienced a movie moment that leaves you perplexed? It could be a fleeting glance or a huge plot hole but you just can’t shake it. You stay awake at night and wonder why that moment happened. The 1995 film Waterworld features a monster scene that I’ve never been able to quit. When I watched Waterworld in the theater I had no idea what happened because I was digging into my twizzler bag and missed the sea beast entirely. I was confused, mystified and hungry after watching the group dig into delicious sea beast meat. I had to wait until the film came out on VHS to figure out what happened.

What happened? Not much. In the words of a CHUD article about the beast.

I am. I chomped Costner. I was

.

.

Here is the how the questionable moment occurs. Kevin Costner is annoyed that the women on his boat are hungry. So, he jumps into the ocean armed with a tiny spear gun and starts trolling behind the boat. His nonchalance shows that he has done this before and it must be annoying. The women look on in awe (because Costner is amazing) and their expressions change as something starts bubbling up to the surface. A MASSIVE SEA BEAST WITH LIKE 6,000 TEETH SWALLOWS COSTNER WHOLE! We then get an underwater shot of the spear exploding out of the creatures belly. The women get fed.

Where did this monster come from?

Isn’t this a massive gamble?

How did the teeth miss Costner?

If this monster was so close why aren’t there more coming around to eat the giant carcass?

Couldn’t Mr. Sea Beast flip the boat?

Why is the beast laying flat when it came directly up from the ocean floor?

Sea eater waterworld

Wouldn’t the stupid Smoker jet skis be perfect food?

I’m guessing that a throwaway scene in one of the most expensive movies ever made hasn’t bothered many people. It was simply another moment of excess in an excessive film. However, I love movie monsters and have spent lengths discussing how the Sarlacc pit became a pit in Return of the Jedi. The wonky editing, rewrites and Costner’s ego (I kill big creatures easily!) created a very random scene that explains nothing while giving us something cool. The lack of information and ease of it all created a weird moment that has been burnt in my memory for 20 years.

Viva la easily killed sea beast!

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. March 28, 2015 11:29 am

    Waterworld would have rocked had it been about massive, prehistoric sea creatures!

    • March 28, 2015 11:32 am

      They should have renamed the movie “Massive Prehistoric Sea Creatures.” Less Dennis Hopper. More sea creatures!

  2. Nove Mura permalink
    February 16, 2016 3:09 pm

    Ah yes… The terrifying “SEA BEAT.” Blogs that don’t proofread their shit are the worst.

    • February 16, 2016 3:15 pm

      Edited! Thanks! It slipped through the cracks while disguised in all the capital letters.

  3. December 3, 2016 10:15 am

    Um, how about HOW DID THEY GET IT ON THE BOAT AFTER KILLING IT

    • December 5, 2016 9:31 am

      Yes! I feel like they wasted a lot and only took a few pounds of meat on-board. Why kill an ancient beast for only 10 pounds of meat?

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