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The Seven Best Usages of Staples/Staplers in Cinema History

July 24, 2015

I believe you have my stapler office space

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The stapler is a very important tool. It keeps paper together, works as a weapon and when an alien is surgically removed from your stomach staples are used to close your belly back up. It is an underrated tool that has played a part in some fantastic cinematic scenes. The following post examines my favorite usage of staples/staplers and proves that little metal things shaped like a U can make a difference.

1. Office Space and the beautiful red Swingline stapler.

Milton Office Space red swingline stapler

Poor Milton

I own a red swingline stapler and would be pissed if somebody from upper management stole my prized possession. The red stapler has become an iconic tool and a hot item to own. It seems like an act of rebellion to own the red stapler in the cubical world and as the Office Space cult grows so does Swingline’s sales.  The Wall Street Journal chronicled the red stapler phenomenon and concluded with this.

Office Space” has turned out to be one of the more effective, if unusual, recent examples of product placement in films. The movie didn’t just spark sales for Swingline: It invented the whole idea of a bright-red stapler. Now, the sleepy Midwestern company that made the first top-loading stapler more than 60 years ago has discovered a new approach to marketing office products to younger generations. Best of all, the “Office Space” plug didn’t cost Swingline a dime.

2. Drag Me to Hell and the stapling of doom.

Drag Me to Hell staple scene

What do you do if a gypsy woman attacks you in your car? You find whatever you can and hit her in the face with it. In Drag Me To Hell our hero uses a stapler to perfection and Sam Raimi’s direction and camera do the rest. It is a beautifully gonzo fight that comes out of nowhere and isn’t afraid to stick a staple in an old woman’s eye.

3. Home Alone 2 and the nose stapling of pure pain

Home Alone 2 staple gun

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Marv and Harry take an inhuman amount of pain in the Home Alone movies. The fact that they keep going almost makes me think they are Terminator rejects who somehow found their way to a life of crime. In Home Alone 2 poor Marv takes three staples that would drop anybody on this planet. Sure, he sets himself up but nobody wishes anybody the pain of a massive staple to the nose, butt and crotch.

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4. Christmas Vacation: When staples meet clothes

The Christmas light scene in Christmas Vacation is beyond iconic. It was a masterclass in over doing it and the results where pretty amazing. However, the unsung heroes of the scene were the staples. The staple gun made Clark Griswold’s life easier and because of this he wasn’t careful. In true Clark fashion he staples his jacket to the house and hilarity ensues. Where did Clark get the staples because they are strong enough to rip off his sleeve?

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5. Mickey Rourke gets stapled while wrestling

The Wrestler staples.

The Wrestler is fantastic film that features some grueling wrestling scenes. During a particularly violent hardcore match Randy The Ram takes some painful staples to the body. The scene was so visceral it made the audience hurt as the once helpful household appliance was used as a torture device. Whatever happened to leg drops and those chest slaps?

6. The Rock staples a piece of paper to David Koechner’s forehead.

Get Smart stapler

When people annoy The Rock what does he do? In Get Smart he staples a piece of paper to a guy’s head. It gets the point across and it is an easy way to make sure pieces of paper are read. Milton must love this scene.

7. Prometheus and the surgical staples of doom

Prometheus staples to the gut

So…..You’ve just had an alien pulled from your guts and the only way to close up the gaping wound is via futuristic staples to the belly. I don’t know what they were made of but they healed the wound pretty quickly and Noomi Rapace was able to make her escape and live through the terrible alien attack. Future staples will save people from aliens. That is a fantastic advertisement for future staples.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. John Leavengood permalink
    July 28, 2015 8:28 am

    Why do I laugh when people get stabbed but wince when they get stapled? LOL

    • July 28, 2015 8:41 am

      We’ve witnessed thousands of cinematic stabbings. A staple to the face is new and exotic. haha

      • John Leavengood permalink
        July 28, 2015 8:52 am

        It’s rare that you hear the argument for a stapler being an exotic weapon. I like it.

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