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The MFF Random Awards: The 2015 Spying Awards

November 7, 2015

2015 has been a banner year for spying. We’ve been blessed with a cornucopia of fantastic spy films that trot the globe and put fake mustaches on Jason Statham. In honor of Spy, Bridge of Spies, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Spectre, Kingsman and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation I’ve compiled a list of random awards that honor the fun spy films. As always the awards don’t make much sense but they highlight the best moments in some very good movies.

Here they are!

Sidenote: Hitman has been left out for obvious reasons.

Best usage of Jason Statham wearing a fake mustache

Jason Statham was really really ridiculously funny in Spy. You need to watch it.

Jason Statham Spy mustache

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Best usage of a lisping Samuel L. Jackson award

A good spy film needs a good villain. Samuel L. Jackson is a good villain in Kingsman.

Sam Jackson Kingsman

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Best background boat chase

I love that a Man From U.N.C.L.E. boat chase plays second fiddle to a guy eating cheese and drinking wine.

uncle

.

Hundreds of people are killed via decapitation, slit throats and impalement but one joke at the end had people up in arms award

The Eggsy/princess moment at the end of Kingsman sure got a lot of press.

Kingsman princess ending

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Best standing around in a barren landscape

If you are going to stand around in the middle of nowhere you better look ridiculously good like the people in Spectre.

Spectre lea Seydoux

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Best usage of whiskey

Tom Hanks never turns down whiskey in Bridge of Spies. I respect that.

Tom Hanks

Yes, I will have another.

Second best usage of whiskey

I love that Kingsman appreciates good Scotch. I am very happy they didn’t waste the 1962 Dalmore.

Dalmore Kingsman

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Best outfit that supposedly makes someone look like a “slutty dolphin trainer”

Rose Byrne is awesome and profane in Spy. She also has a lot of hair.

Rose Byrne Spy Slutty dolphin trainer

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Best Usage of a dress that allows you to look fashionable while attempting to kill somebody.

This Rogue Nation dress says “I’m practical and deadly.” Good job costume designer.

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation Rebecca Ferguson yellow dress

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Best monologuing while wearing loafers without socks.

Christoph Waltz needs to look stylish while monologuing. I guess he feels more free to be evil without socks.

Waltz1

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Best incredibly violent gunfight inside a church.

Colin Firth is my new action hero. The church scene was crazy in Kingsman.

Kingsman church fight

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Give Luther and Brandt their own movie award.

Give them a spin-off and call it Mission Impossible: Legacy. Get it?

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation Ving Rhames Jeremy Renner

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Best moment involving dentures

Mark Rylance is awesome in Bridge in Spies. In a 60 second scene involving dentures we learn everything we need to know about the guy.

Rylance

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Best reaction to being drugged

What does Napoleon Solo do when he is drugged in U.N.C.L.E.? He gets comfy on a couch and awaits unconsciousness.

The Man From Uncle Suit

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Best motorcycle riding that will make investors incredibly nervous and stuntmen cringe

Tom Cruise is a maniac and it makes the movies better and seemingly more dangerous.

Photo credit: Christian Black

Photo credit: Christian Black

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Best Moped moment involving cement

Melissa McCarthy is pure gold in Spy. She also wrecks a construction crews day.

Spy Melissa McCarthy cement

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Best usage of two tall people on a moped

Did I mention that while I dislike typing The Man From U.N.C.L.E. I think it is breezy and fun?

The man from Uncle Hammer

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Most gratuitous motorcycle themed poster

Ving Rhames should get the same poster.

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation Rebecca Ferguson

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Did I forget any random spy awards? Let me know in the comments!

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