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10 “Vs.” Movies That Need To Happen: A Random Collection of Glorious Fights

April 18, 2016

In honor of the rise and fall of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice I put together some glorious “vs.” movies that will amaze and confuse everybody. These films would be impossible/impractical to film but that doesn’t stop them from being awesome. If made, they will revolutionize the boundaries of cinema (new CGI will have to be invented) and help the world understand that anything is possible.

If you enjoyed this piece make sure to listen to the MFF “vs.” podcast where we talk about more random fights. If you can think of any other “vs.” movies let me know in the comments. Enjoy!

1. Pizza the Hut (Spaceballs)  vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (You know the movie)

Movie Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A Massive Moral Quandary

Would the turtles eat Pizza the Hut? It would get really weird.

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2. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs) vs. Superman (Superman Returns)

Movie Title: Lamb of Steel or Man of Veal – Embrace the pun

Lecter would be a perfect Superman villain because he is super rich, crazy brilliant and would definitely want to eat an alien. I like Henry Cavill as Superman, but he is too conflicted. I’d rather see Brandon Routh’s nice Superman being hunted by Lecter. The movie would get super dark, but if you’ve watched the Hannibal movies/television show you will love it.

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3. Greedo (Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope) vs. Swordsmen (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

Move title: Retribution

Both Greedo and the Swordsmen were dispatched quickly by Harrison Ford. This film will finally allow these two highly trained killers a chance to showcase their skills.

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4. Rita Vrataski (Edge of Tomorrow) vs. Phil (Groundhog Day)

Movie Title: Six Weeks of Winter

Imagine a movie where these two are actually trying to kill each other. It would be amazing! The crazy montages of incredible Bill Murray machine gun carnage would make the world implode. Also, Emily Blunt was awesome in Edge of Tomorrow and this time she can have more fun and do less yoga.

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5. The Black Knight (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) vs. Frank Vitzchard (Anchorman) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith)

Movie Title: Gone With the Limb

Imagine how many limbs would be chopped off! Appendages will be flying everywhere.

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6. Leonard (Memento)  vs. Lucy Whitmore (50 First Dates)

Movie Title: Who vs. Who?

I want to this be a Kramer vs. Kramer type film where the two leads remember nothing from the prior day. The Lawyers would bleed them dry!

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7. Black Dynamite (Black Dynamite)  vs. Han (Enter the Dragon)

Movie Title: Enter the Black Dynamite

The world needs more Black Dynamite! Nothing could be better than him entering a mysterious tournament and battling the nefarious Han. Perfect film! An added bonus is Dynamite would receive some really cool strategically placed scars. I hope Han doesn’t interrupt him when he is doing his Kung Fu.

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8. Nash (Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li) vs. Nash (Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li)

Movie Title: Street Fighters

Nash is my favorite bad movie character ever. Chris Klein was on another level in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, and the worlds needs two of him battling.

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9. Quint (Jaws) vs. The Deep Blue Sea Shark (Deep Blue Sea)

Movie Title: A Bigger Boat

Imagine if Jaws was more like Deep Blue Sea, and Deep Blue Sea was more like Jaws. I don’t know what that means but it would be awesome.

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10. Death (The Seventh Seal) vs. Sam (Fresh)

Movie Title: The Checkmate is in the Mail

Samuel L. Jackson is the best. I would love to see him playing chess with Death while dispensing some great life lessons. The winner gets to play Chewbacca in that cool holographic game in Star Wars: Episode 4 – A New Hope.

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Stay tuned for Part 2 soon! If you can think of some “vs.” movies you’d like to see, comment below!

 

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. John Leavengood permalink
    April 18, 2016 8:44 am

    If Greedo fights the Swordsman, does he just pre-emptively shoot the Swordsman? Or do they have to fight with neither sword nor laser blaster to even the playing field?

    • April 18, 2016 9:59 am

      Greedo is too slow. Swordsman would throw his sword at him and win.

  2. John Leavengood permalink
    April 18, 2016 8:45 am

    If Lector has an elaborate plan to capture, kill and eat SuperRouth…what would Lector fantasize about eating first and how would he prepare it?

    • April 18, 2016 9:58 am

      He would fry his liver in a beer batter and drink some craft beer with it. Haha

      • John Leavengood permalink
        April 18, 2016 10:11 am

        Now I’m hungry. haha
        But now for the important question…which beer do you use for the batter and which do you drink?

      • April 18, 2016 10:20 am

        Batter – Ballast Point Fathom IPL
        Drink – Avery Hopslam.

      • John Leavengood permalink
        April 18, 2016 10:30 am

        And now I have two new beers to try while thinking about this awesome fantasy movie. 🙂

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