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The 2016 Mid-Year Random Awards: Celebrating Wasted Scotch, Teeth Piercings and Sweaters

July 1, 2016

The Random Awards are back and they are celebrating the best of 2016 (so far)! I love randomness (just listen to the pod) and because of this I put deep thought into dumb awards. The films of 2016 have given me ample material to work my randomness and I hope  you enjoy the inane and cheeky awards

Sit back, relax and enjoy the 2016 Mid-Year Random Awards!

Best Plum

Bucky never got to eat his plum in Captain America: Civil War. Poor guy, just let him eat his plums!

plums civil war

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Best Usage of Baby Goo Award

Here is the setup. A witch steals a baby and smooshes it into a gross glob of baby goo. Then, she smears it on a broomstick and flies away. It is very gross and memorable. The Witch is messed up.

baby witch

You won’t find the baby when you open your eyes.

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Best Jean Jacket

Midnight Special is a brilliant film. Michael Shannon rocks a great jean jacket. He also buttons his shirt all the way up. Awesome!

MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

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I’m Amazed That the Concert Venue in Green Room Actually Had a Green Room Award

If you get a chance check out Green Room. It is an incredibly tense thriller that puts your nerves in a headlock.

Green room band members

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Best Fourth Wall Break Inside a Fourth Wall Break Award

Deadpool breaks the fourth wall 23 times in Deadpool (thanks Mashable). The best wall break features Wade Wilson talking about meeting his blind roommate. In the process, 16 walls get obliterated. Pure gold.

Deadpool

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Best Movie, Mustaches, Dialogue and Usage of Kurt Russell’s Son Wyatt Award

Everybody Wants Some!! is the best movie of 2016 (so far)

Everybody wants some cast

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Best Sweater Award

Vision has a strong sweater game. Also, Vision and Wanda should’ve kissed in Captain America: Civil War instead of Steve and Sharon Carter (that was weird). The world needs more purple people in sweaters.

Vision sweater

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Best Rope Work Award

I love Hail, Caesar! Alden Ehrenreich’s character Hobie Doyle steals the show. You will love his rope skills, observations and dealings with Ralph Fiennes. I still don’t know how he managed to use a spaghetti lasso.

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Best Flare Gun Usage Since The Last Stand Award

The Shallows was a pleasant surprise that features the best flare gun work since Johnny Knoxville in The Last Stand.

Flare gun the shallows

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Lex Luthor Drinks the Same Bourbon as I Do Award

Lex Luthor and I have similar taste in bourbon. Does that mean I plan on conjuring up an overly-intricate plan to kill a superhero?

Lex Luthor bourbon

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I Hate That You Wasted Scotch. However, You Get a Free Pass on This One Award

I love 10 Cloverfield Lane. However, I hate that Scotch was wasted. I understand why it was wasted, but it should never have come to that. What did the Scotch do to deserve such a fate?

scotch 10 cloverfield lane

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Best Polar Bear Riding Award

How did the new Huntsman movie end up with Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron and Jessica Chastain? That is a casting coup.

emily blunt polar bear

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MVTS (Most Valuable Toilet Stall) Award

The toilet stall in The Nice Guys did some great work. It stole the scene from Ryan Gosling.

The nice guys toilet

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Best Standing Around in a Semicircle Award

Apocalypse and his four horsemen do nothing but look fabulous and stand around in a semicircle for two hours.  X-Men: Apocalypse is not good.

X-Men Apocalypse four horsemen

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Couldn’t We Battle a Marshmallow Demon Instead(?) Award

I feel for the Warrens in The Conjuring 2. They have to battle the jerkiest villains.

evil nun conjuring 2 painting

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Huh? What? Really? No? Wait? Huh? What? Really? You Made This? Who Signed Off on This? Really? Huh? Gerry Butler? Egypt? Gods? Huh? Award

Gods of Egypt is insane. I don’t know why it happened. Who thought it was a good idea?

GodsOfEgypt_DOMTrlr1_Texted_HD 3593.tif

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Best Usage of Spanx Award

Alison Brie has a fantasitc breakdown in How to be Single that involves her frightening children, pulling out hair extensions and getting entwined in her spanx. Best freakout of 2016 (so far)

brie larson how to be single

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Best Mafia Boss in an Animated Film Award

Mr. Big steals the show in Zootopia. He is a Godfather-esque artic shrew how throws a great wedding. Also, I read that arctic shrews are actually very tough. Solid decision Disney.

zootopia mr. big

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When a Crazy Premise Makes a Mediocre Movie Slightly Better Than Mediocre

The Boy is a weird movie. It isn’t good, but the whole evil doll premise is kinda awesome. I love that the “babysitter” doesn’t follow a single rule as well. She basically ignores everything and suffers harassment via doll.

What-Twist-End-Boy-Horror-Movie

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This is How You Introduce New Characters Award

Black Panther and Spider-Man are perfectly introduced in Captain America: Civil War. I hate that Marvel is so good. All my money goes to them.

civil war black panther

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Ryan Reynolds Loves Swapping Bodies Award

Between Self/less, R.I.P.D., The Change-Up, Big Monster on Campus and now Criminal, Ryan Reynolds can’t stop swapping bodies. Did anybody watch Criminal?

Criminal

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Best Teeth, Ear and Nose Piercings Award

Orcs love their piercings in Warcraft. I’d love to see the Orcs get their teeth pierced. They’d act all cool and calm, but I guarantee they’d be hurting.

Orc piercings

 

 

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. John Leavengood permalink
    July 1, 2016 11:37 am

    If I couldn’t sleep because of Demon Nun nightmares, painting the Demon Nun in question would not help me relax and sleep again. lol

    • July 1, 2016 3:40 pm

      He is a great painter too. He did all that from memory! Dreams are normally so blurry.

      • John Leavengood permalink
        July 1, 2016 4:30 pm

        Well, as with a dream diary he went and did it right away. You know, because while it’s fresh in our minds we need to preserve that kind of evil imagery–what am I saying? Throw down your brush, Ed! Forget that awful nightmare! Kick that easel over and burn the canvas, you fool! lol

  2. John Leavengood permalink
    July 1, 2016 4:28 pm

    Let it be known, I can handle almost all manner of piercings and tattoos, but if you have tooth piercings I am labeling you an enemy in my head! Big bunch of nope there.

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  1. The MFF Podcast #64: The 2016 Mid-Year Random Awards | Movies, Films & Flix

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