John’s Horror Corner: Class of 1999 (1990), an A+ for this star-studded B-movie that should probably be a 9.9 out of 10 on IMDB.
MY CALL: If you love campy violence, evil robots, and think we need to clean up our public schools, then this old flick is for you! MOVIES LIKE Class of 1999: This would pair well with RoboCop (1990) or The Faculty (1998). For more killer robot movies, consider Saturn 3 (1980), Chopping Mall (1986), Deadly Friend (1986), Moontrap (1989), Hardware (1990), Nemesis (1992), Screamers (1995), Virus (1999), Ex Machina (2015), Willy’s Wonderland (2021), M3GAN (2022) and Subservience (2024).
In the dismal future of 1999, gangs have overtaken the country and even infected high schools. A company specializing in automation and robotics led by Dr. Forrest (Stacey Keach; Escape from New York, Body Bags, Children of the Corn 666), MegaTech has “built” the next generation of educators—robots with perfect-looking human skin, equipped with class syllabi and military-grade concealed weapons. Because many high schools are centered in gang-controlled areas where no law enforcement dare go, these advanced cyber-teachers will allow classes to continue uninterrupted. And now for an aside… how much money exactly is being spent to make sure a gang-zone high school is held in session? Of all crazy things in this movie, THAT is my greatest suspension of disbelief! That, and Stacey Keach’s cyber-douchebag haircut. Oof! He looks like the evil manager of an early 80s Synth band.
To properly test these cyber-teachers, teen convicted felons have been released from prison to attend school. Upon release, Cody (Bradley Gregg; Fire in the Sky, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3) head straight to school (like you do, directly from the prison entry gates), and quickly finds a fondness for the principal’s (Malcolm McDowell; Antiviral, 31) daughter (Traci Lind; Fright Night part 2, Spellcaster).
On their way to school, other gang kids attack Angel (Joshua John Miller; Halloween III, Near Dark, The Willies), Cody and Sonny (Darren E. Burrows; 976-EVIL) with machine guns, explosives and armored vehicles. It’s like a B-movie microbudget Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). Upon arrival, private armed security manages the school like a prison, with tower guards and a “coat check” ticket system for guns upon entry. Then Dr. Forrest dons a lab coat and monitors the school from an advanced tech command center in the basement. Again, this sounds very, very expensive. Maybe consider homeschooling. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised when I consider our national defense budget…
Our new teachers—Mr. Bryles (Patrick Kilpatrick; The Toxic Avenger, The Cellar, The Granny), Mr. Hardin (John P. Ryan; It’s Alive, It Lives Again, ) and Ms. Conners (Pam Grier; Bones, Scream Blacula Scream)—readily discipline unruly students with physical violence. What begins as stomping on feet, shoving bullies, and brutal spanking (yes, butt-spanking them black and blue!) graduates to the flat-out neck-breaking assassination of a student with a gun. From here, the fun starts. A drug-addled teen has his stash jammed down his throat for an overdose death, a flaming still-living body is thrown into a living room, a back is snapped pulling a kid throw a hole in the wall, Pam’s hand melts away to reveal a flame thrower, Patrick’s is a minigun with a rocket launcher, the third has a claw with a power drill he drills into a student’s skull, the shambling robotic remains of the gym teacher are a raggedy awesome sight, and that gym teacher bot gets the most worthy demise of the movie.
Director Mark L. Lester’s (Firestarter, Class of 1984, Commando, Showdown in Little Tokyo) dystopian future is delightfully over-the-top in all the best ways. This is kinda’ like a B-movie made better and with more budget; a top shelf B-movie. For its era, the pacing of this movie is strong, the dark humor is abundant, and the effects and action scenes are abundant.
The most realistic thing about this movie is that the three robo-teachers are roommates in a townhouse. Because even a billion-dollar trio of military cyborgs can’t survive on a public teacher’s salary alone. And like schoolteachers, they are very clicky. You’ve gotta’ admire how they have each other’s robotic backs.
