I recently saw the trailer for the Kevin Costner film Criminal and it seemed awfully familiar. From what I gathered, Kevin Costner gets implanted with Ryan Reynolds’ memories and kicks a lot of butt. Here is the IMDb synopsis and trailer.
In a last-ditch effort to stop a diabolical plot, a dead CIA operative’s memories, secrets, and skills are implanted into a death-row inmate in hopes the he will complete the operative’s mission.
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The trailer got me thinking about the 2015 film Self/Less and it lead me down a path of random Ryan Reynolds observations. The guy has been swapping bodies/memories and hearing voices for years. The similar roles may be a coincidence, or Reynolds just loves swapping bodies and the world is finally starting to notice.The following post breaks down Reynolds long history with familiar cinematic themes.
Sidenote: I’ve left out The Nines because it felt like a stretch. Read an article with writer/director here.
Bottleneck/Big Monster on Campus (2000)
Reynolds doesn’t swap bodies in Big Monster on Campus, he swaps brains. He plays a goth kid who is killed and brought back to life via a brain swap. The problem is he receives a serial killer brain that makes him rambunctious. I never knew about this movie before today.
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The Amityville Horror (2005)
The Amityville Horror is a better than average horror remake that is probably only remembered for the shirtless scenes. This remake started the whole Ryan Reynolds hearing noises craze. Those pesky evil spirits told him to kill his family, and he listened.
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The Change-Up (2011)
The Change-Up tells the age-old story of two annoying men and a magical body swap. Basically, Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds swap bodies and spout a lot of R-rated dialogue.
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R.I.P.D. (2013)
How did this movie happen? It is an absolute mess that features terrible CGI, Jeff Bridges chewing on scenery and Reynolds dying again. The reason R.I.P.D makes the list is because when anybody in the real world sees Ryan’s paranormal cop he appears as James Wong. Hilarious!
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The Voices (2014)
The Voices was a very pleasant surprise. It features one of Reynolds best performances (alongside Adventureland and Mississippi Grind) as an endearing schizophrenic guy named Jerry. He stars in the film and provides the voices of his Scottish-accented cat Mr. Whiskers, his dog Bosco, a weird Bunny Monkey sock puppet, and a dying deer his character hits with a car. It all sounds very odd but Reynolds holds it together perfectly.
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Self/Less (2015)
Much Like R.I.P.D. I still don’t believe this movie actually happened. It went in and out of the theaters and I’m pretty certain everyone involved is happy about that. Self/Less tells the tale of Ben Kingsley’s terminally ill character getting his consciousness swapped into Ryan’s body. I feel really bad for the director Tarsem Singh (The Fall, The Cell, Immortals), the guy couldn’t do anything with this film.
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Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.
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Midnight Special: The Best Film of 2016 (So Far)
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Jeff Nichols (Shotgun Stories, Take Shelter, Mud) can do no wrong, and Midnight Special is proof of that. He is the rare director/writer who respects his audience and treats them as intellectual equals. I love how he doesn’t explain away his films with expository dialogue, and he allows them to unfold organically. He takes rural settings and makes them wondrous and exciting, and I appreciate how he never creates caricatures of the small town inhabitants.
What makes Midnight Special so great is it plays like a classic Amblin film (Back to the Future, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Gremlins, E.T.) that avoids mimicry (think Super 8). It is its own beast that creates a new world full of heart, excitement and wonder. The end product is a beautiful science fiction film about parents doing all they can to protect their child.
Midnight Special is equal parts chase film, family drama and science fiction spectacular. Nichols grounds the film in realism and the stakes become much more real because of that. The story revolves around two men rescuing a supernatural boy from a cultish “ranch” and attempting to get him to an undisclosed location. We find out that one of the men Roy (Michael Shannon) is the boy’s father and his cohort Lucas (Joel Edgerton) was a friend of Roy’s before he got sucked into the cult. Soon after their escape from the cult they find themselves being chased by the police, government and cult members. From there, we get a chase film that subverts the genre at every turn and takes us to a beautifully vague conclusion.
My favorite moment in Midnight Special is a neat little exchange between father and son. The boy Alton (Jaeden Lieberher) is worried about the amount of stress he is causing his dad and doesn’t want Roy to worry, Roy responds by saying “I like worrying about you.” It is a tiny moment, but it creates a believable bond between father and son.
Between Shotgun Stories, Take Shelter, Mud and Midnight Special, Michael Shannon and Jeff Nichols have formed a great cinematic team. Nichol’s uses Shannon’s height and intensity perfectly while somehow making him likable and endearing. Shannon in turn, does a great job creating rational and three-dimensional characters who still have an edge about them. I also loved the addition of Joel Edgerton, Kirsten Dunst and Adam Driver to the Jeff Nichol world. They all do very good work and their characters all have moments to shine.
Midnight Special is an amazing film that proves Jeff Nichol’s is one of the best working directors today. If you get a chance check it out in the theaters because it deserves an immersive experience. Let me know what you think!
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John’s Horror Corner: Dolly Dearest (1991), Poltergeist meets Mexican Child’s Play in this great evil doll movie!
MY CALL: The poster art makes this movie look like something you’d want to skip. But trust me, DON’T SKIP IT. This is solid gold B+ horror and a decent evil doll movie that borrows heavily from Child’s Play (1988) and Poltergeist (1982). MORE MOVIES LIKE Dolly Dearest: There’s no shortage of evil doll movies on the market and they come in all different flavors. Puppet Master 1-5 (1989), The Boy (2016), Child’s Play (1988), Curse of Chucky (2013) and Poltergeist (1982), from which this movie borrows heavily. But not Annabelle (2014; podcast discussion of Annabelle), which was just garbage on film. Other horror movies that take Americans to Mexico and Central America are The Ruins (2008) and Indigienous (2014).
The Wade family moves from Los Angeles into a Mexican home sight-unseen after buying a Mexican doll factory sight-unseen. Already, this plot sounds like something that would only feasibly happen in a bad horror movie…nobody does that! But this is their lucky day, because some ancient Mayan ruins are nearby and an anthropologist accidently unleashed a ball of red glowing energy–errrr, I mean, an evil spirit!
Hmmm…noticing the similarities yet?
After being given a doll from the factory, their young daughter begins acting strangely. Her mother Marylin (Denise Crosby; Pet Sematary) has caught her talking to “Dolly” frequently, she draws violent depictions of animals, hisses at priests and rosaries, and speaks in the ancient Sanzian language to their devout housekeeper.
What’s more is that we (the audience) see the Dolly move on her own and it’s implied that she scampers about the house at night very early in the film. And once her murderous intentions are known, we see Dolly’s creepy little doll hands locking doors and picking up sharp objects, sneaking, hiding and stabbing! It’s straight out of the Child’s Play (1988) playbook staged in a Mexican Poltergeist (1982) scenario.
The jump scares are tedious but Dolly is sufficiently creepy (even scary) enough to make it work…and well! As the story progresses, so too does the little girl’s weirdness. She becomes increasingly attached to Dolly and disengaged from her family…even hostile to them.
Dolly, like Chucky, gets meaner and uglier.
This may not be a good film, but it’s a solid B-horror. It’s greatest gift is its pacing. Most B-horror takes 40-60 minutes for anything at all interesting to happen. Whereas we find eerie goings on with Dolly nearly from the start, ambulatory murderous Dolly within about 30 minutes, and after an hour things continue to escalate into bonkersville. There are no great effects, but the walking talking creepy dolls are every bit as effective as we need for his to be a lot of fun.
Speaking of this being a B-movie, Rip Torn (The Man Who Fell to Earth, RoboCop 3) plays an archaeologist and seemingly shows up for no other reason than to explain that Sanzia means “Satan on Earth,” reveal the ancient burial grounds entomb a Devil child with a goat head, and to blurt out an occasional displaced Spanish phrase even though everyone is always speaking English. He is movie exposition personified, walking and talking and explaining everything.
Dolly and Chucky are both quite industrious.
By the way, the dolls follow suit behind Child’s Play (1988) pretty hard. They utter similar lines like “now we’ll be together forever” and “time to play” and their faces become more and more evil-looking as we approach the finale as if they were slowly sapping the soul and humanity from the little girl to transmute Dolly into a living entity of flesh. Then you have Rip Torn filling the Zelda Rubenstein’s Poltergeist (1982) role and the ancient burial ground unleashing spirits that want the youngest child, a little girl whose parents have moved for the father’s job, just like Carol Anne and her family–plus the slightly older boy who discovers the evil, just like Caroll Anne’s brother.
Older brothers…they’re protective and they mean well, but it usually turns out bad.
After this film, writer/director Maria Lease went on to do a few episodes of the sultry Silk Stalkings show and then backed off from direction entirely. I’m not sure why she didn’t do more horror. Not only did this movie surprisingly not suck, it was pretty solidly entertaining. I had been procrastinating seeing this for over a decade (some of the poster/cover art is not very promising LOL) and now I find myself recommending it to fans of evil doll movies and 80s-90s B-movie horror…as this was more of a B+ movie (the same can be said for Pumpkinhead and Subspecies 1-2).
Oh look, there’s more of them. And they get uglier as the movie goes on.
The poster art makes this movie look like something you’d want to skip. But trust me, DON’T SKIP IT. This is solid gold B+ horror and a decent evil doll movie!
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John’s Horror Corner: Brother (2016), Short Film Review
Disclaimer: This review was solicited by the filmmakers. However, my opinion remains unbiased as I was neither hired nor paid to produce this critical review.
MY CALL: This is a pretty damn impressive horror short film about a boyfriend who’s not as faithful as his girlfriend thinks, and his girlfriend’s monstrous family secret. MORE MOVIES LIKE Brother: Here at MFF we occasionally do horror short film reviews. Among recent solicited promotions are Order of the Ram (2013), TRAILER TALK: Blood Money and Short Film Buzz: Burn (2016). We also did a solicited review of the indie techno-horror Other Halves (2016).
Description: Directed by Alrik Bursell and starring @ComedianCapone, Brother is an indie drama/horror film starring comedian Capone Lee about family and relationships and how sometimes the two struggle to get along. Shot on location in Oakland, CA, Brother is a completely independent horror short film with a focus on strong characters and old school practical effects. Brother also stars local actor Dezi Soley and LA based actor David O’Donnell. Brother made its premiered at the 14th Oakland International Film Festival.
My greatest relief arrived in the first 5 seconds when the characters (the lead couple) were instantly likable, the writing felt totally natural, and the actors had immediate on-screen chemistry. Just trust me on this. This basically never happens. When the brother character arrived I felt that the relationships were still somewhat natural, but less organic than the pristine opening scene.
I was also impressed with the camerawork. The opening scene included a great swing-around shot when the couple approached the lake. Nice continuous shots like this in lieu of multiple cuts may go unnoticed to most viewers, but I feel they (with fewer cuts and a more natural feel) enhance everyone’s experience.
With all three characters on screen things feel good, but there’s something missing. This may sound overly critical, but honestly short films suffer this more often than feature length because we’ve had less time to engage our main characters and cultivate an investment in them.
I was especially pleased with the sound editing. The sound of pouring a glass of wine may seem trivial at times, but without such nuance the atmosphere can stale over quickly with an overly sterile feel. Great work on the texting/media presentation as well.
Right about now would be a good time for you to stop reading and give this short film a watch. No worries, it’s just a brisk 10 minutes. Then we’ll get back to our criticism…
To watch the short film CLICK HERE
I must aim my greatest criticism on the boyfriend (David O’Donnell). I actually feel that he has by far the best highlights in terms of natural line delivery. However, the revelations of his infidelity–staring at the jogger in the opening scene with little regard to his girlfriend (Dezi Solèy) possibly noticing, candidly admitting to her brother that he was seeing multiple women when he met her, and dismissively agreeing that she’s “sweet”–all should have been more subtle. I fail to believe that approaching a possible engagement that she would have never noticed his poorly hidden and frequent interests in, for example, a random runner prancing by. But again, I must offer a fair defense that we only have 10 minutes to develop our story and, as such, some things must be comparably rushed to make our points with alacrity. That said, I imagine a longer version of this film would offer a better-substantiated and more natural foundation for these monogamy-fleeting behaviors.
Likewise, her argument with her brother (Capone Lee) feels as if it advances at a rushed pace, skipping much detail. But, people, 10 minute short film. All things considered, I feel this is going resplendently compared to most of my solicited indie reviews, and I’m largely enjoying this. I want to see the feature length version of this.
I often comment that “the fledgling director has much to offer in terms of [BLANK]” or that “I like what they were trying to do, but perhaps with a larger budget…” But here I have little criticism outside of aforementioned issues. And can I just say how awesome Dezi Solèy was in her first role? Fantastic.
The special effects were part CGI and part practical. I liked both. Again, better quality than I’ve come to expect from solicited submissions by far.
All that remains is for these filmmakers to move forward and make a feature length film or a longer (perhaps 20-30 min) short film out of this…perhaps for the next V/H/S-style anthology movie. I’d certainly like to see it!
Also, just as a sidenote, anyone who thinks this is a fluff review because I’m flattered to have been asked to review this…you’re quite wrong. Just check out my previous solicited reviews (all hyperlinked above). You’ll find that I’m quite critical (even at times brutally honest) but fair to the merits presented. And these filmmakers and actors have shown the kind of merits I want to see more.
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John’s Horror Corner: Headhunter (1988), a Nigerian voodoo curse demon that loves decapitation.
This thing looks like someone got Yoda wet, then fed him after midnight. LOL
MY CALL: Any pleasure to be derived from this Voodoo demon movie–besides giggling at its general badness–is limited to just a handful of scenes surrounded by boring plot and sinful acting. Watch with caution; probably only for the obscure 80s horror fanatics out there…which I am, so I thought it was okay. MORE MOVIES LIKE Headhunter: Other horror movies set in the Sunshine State include Day of the Dead (1985) in Fort Meyers, Jaws 3-D (1983), Jupiter’s American Horror Story: Freakshow (2014) and Frogs (1972), Jeepers Creepers (2001) and Swamp Thing (1982). Other absurd 80s-era horror include Rawhead Rex (1986), Night Angel (1990), Nightwish (1990), Prince of Darkness (1987), Dreamaniac (1986), Def by Temptation (1990), Ghosthouse (1986), Manitou (1978) and Deadly Blessing (1981)…probably all of which are better than Headhunter.
This poster makes it look like a totally different movie.
Where are all the voodoo curse demons?
Looks like a possession movie poster.
It takes a while for this movie to get to the point…or to get to anything that matters at all. Opening shots long-windedly depict Voodoo rituals in Africa when something goes wrong. Something that we obviously wouldn’t get to see in the first five minutes. But we get the idea that this something is summoned when chaotic POV shots give a nod to an Evil Dead demon.
This opening sequence is unnecessarily long and at first I thought I was watching a documentary or something on the National Geographic channel. Speaking of which, we do get to see National Geographic-style nudity…but no nudity later during a shower scene. Go figure.
Meanwhile in south Florida, a Miami cop (Wayne Crawford; Barracuda) with some drinking issues discovers that his wife (June Chadwick; Forbidden World) has a lesbian lover and he starts sleeping with his partner (Kay Lenz; House). The editing is terrible, the acting is scarier than the movie, and none of the aforementioned aspects of this cop’s life really matter at all with regard to the plot.
She is sulking like all the time.
As for what little plot there is to discuss, it seems that a poor Nigerian community has brought their voodoo practices (and curses) across the Atlantic to Florida…and judging by the recent crime scenes, they brought their voodoo demon with them. A local community leader, voodoo shaman and somehow wealthy African Studies professor (to my knowledge neither shaman nor professor are lucrative careers) altruistically appears to help our Miami cops “track down” this demon…sort of…well, not really. You see, at first he finds them and says he wants to help. Then he reveals that he really can’t do any more than tell them the recent chain of murders are linked to a curse that followed his people from Nigeria. No weaknesses, no origins, no mythology or folklore…just, yeah, a decapitating curse demon that somehow needs to be stopped.
In the first hour of this tragic low budget B-movie (or D-movie), our evil force is represented by POV shots, wind/telekinesis and a curved blade (like that of a khopesh, or sword). We see heads, then we don’t see heads, there’s some blood where heads used to be…it’s all pretty weak. But it’ll make you grin.
This movie just needlessly drags. You know what’s an awesome B-movie idea? A voodoo demon that hunts people down and chops off their heads because of some curse that goes entirely unexplained. You know what’s not a cool idea? A movie about a south Florida detective whose wife is cheating on him with another woman. This unambitious D-movie gives us both and, as a result of this plot beleaguered by our protagonist’s personal crisis, this movie is only awesome for about 10 minutes. Two of these brilliantly bad minutes feature the most frantic chainsaw shopping scene in film history. A couple more minutes feature a bath tub filled with severed body parts and blood.
When we finally see our demon headhunter at the very end of the movie, we enjoy a silly latex monstrosity that looks more like the swamp hag from Legend (1985) wielding a sword than anything that makes me think of Africa or voodoo. Our hero ends up saving his lovely partner in a voodoo demon sword versus chainsaw duel. Then movie is just “over” after about 90 seconds of decent action and fun. No explanation, no catharsis, no finishing the tale of the Nigerian voodoo curse demon…we just assume everything’s fine after some cheesy chainsaw dismemberment.
Beyond that there’s a nudity-free shower scene and little gore, no good reason for not showing us the monster earlier or more often, and pretty much nothing in the way of atmosphere or scares.
Any pleasure to be derived from this movie–besides giggling at its general badness, which is often just as annoying than funny–is limited to just a handful of scenes surrounded by boring plot and sinful acting. Watch with caution; probably only for the obscure 80s horror fanatics out there…which I am, so I thought it was okay.
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The MFF Podcast #53: Batman vs Superman
You can download the pod on iTunes or LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOGTALKRADIO.
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome!
We hope you enjoyed our last episode:
The MFF Podcast #52: Drafting the Perfect Cinematic Basketball Team
SUMMARY: This week we discuss, review and spoil in extreme detail the recent DC comic blockbuster Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016). We share our feelings, delights and disillusions of Batfleck, the purity of Superman and just how Lex Luthor and Wonder Woman fit into this elaborate plot.
We also answer such important questions as…
“What VERSUS movies are we dying to see?”
“Was Wonder Woman the best part of BvS?”
“What do iconic movie characters like to drink?”
“Did the plot of BvS make any sense at all?”
“Why does Perry White think Football is more important than superheroes?”
LISTEN TO THE POD ON BLOGTALKRADIO,
or head over iTunes so you can download, REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod.
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Everybody Wants Some!! is a fantastic film that in a perfect world will make more money than Deadpool and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice combined. The film takes place in 1980, and tells the story of a team of baseball players hanging out before the fall semester starts at their Texas college. It is the rare movie that builds three-dimensional characters while being rowdy, intelligent and funny. You will laugh constantly and enjoy the three days we get to spend with the baseball players.
Between Bernie, School of Rock, Waking Life, Boyhood, Slacker, Dazed and Confused and the Before Trilogy, Linklater has proven himself to be a national treasure. His films are full of great dialogue, interesting worlds and realistic characters. Linklater knows how to balance character with story, and I love how he avoids “plot” at all costs.
Everybody Wants Some!! initially appears aimless and plot free. However, much like Dazed and Confused it stays patient and creates a world loaded with cool stories and memorable moments. It takes a lot of confidence to direct in this non-traditional style and Linklater excels at it.
Richard Linklater utilizes walking perfectly. Walking can lead to some great places.
I’ve read some articles that focus on the “bros” of Everybody Wants Some!!. The reviews focus solely on past experiences and reasons for hating the movie. The reviews have called the characters “bullies” and have completely missed the point of the film. They don’t understand that Linklater is using a baseball team to speak universally about different characters that inhabit our daily life.
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What I love about Everybody Wants Some!! is how it takes a team of baseball players and turns them into fully-formed characters. Each of the players have their own stories, and I love how they are always competing and hanging out. Their adventures take them all over the town and prove that everybody can get along. If you can put aside your preconceived notions, I guarantee you will love Everybody Wants Some!!
Richard Linklater has a knack for casting perfectly and you can tell time was spent rounding up the perfect crew. Everybody Wants Some!! is a true ensemble piece, and the actors do a great job hitting home runs whenever they are asked to deliver. Glen Powell’s (Scream Queens, Expendables 3) character Finnegan steals the show. Powell delivers Linklater’s lines perfectly and his character is the kind of guy who would fit in anywhere. The dude has a great mustache, and I think he will be the breakout star of this film.
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In the midst of the all partying and drinking there is neat romance. I was amazed how organically it fit in the story. The credit goes to Linklater’s writing and Zoey Deutch’s (Vampire Academy) performance. Deutch got some big laughs at the screening I was at, and I was really happy to see that her character wasn’t shoehorned in to add a female presence. her character Beverly feels like she belongs, and you totally understand why people would like her.
Her encounters with Blake Jenner’s character Jake are a nice break from the binge drinking. The two form a neat bond that focuses on them being genuinely nice people. I really enjoyed their quiet moments together, and was 100% shipping (yeah, I said it) their relationship.
Everybody Wants Some!! is bound to become a cult classic and I hope the general populace embraces it. What did you think about it? Let me know in the comments.
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ANIME: Vampire Hunter D (1985), Dungeons and Dragons meets Castlevania in this great dark fantasy adventure.
MY CALL: Dungeons and Dragons meets Castlevania in this great dark fantasy adventure featuring demons, vampires, mutants, cyborgs, castle lairs and magical items. If you like Anime or dark fantasy you should probably see this. MORE MOVIES LIKE Vampire Hunter D: Of course Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000) and the rumored upcoming TV series Vampire Hunter D: Resurrection. Then perhaps Demon City Shinjuku (1988), Bio Hunter (1995), Wicked City (1987), Ninja Scroll (1993), Cyber City Oedo 808 (1990 mini-series), and maybe such fantasy as The Dark Crystal (1988), Willow (1982) and Legend (1985).
The future is populated by demons and mutants, dinosaurs and werewolves, and all manner of supernatural creatures and mystical magical items with unexplained names like “the time-bewitching incense.” Sounds like a dream to any Dungeons and Dragons fan, if you ask me. And that’s exactly what I am!
Not at all as perverse or provocative as its unrelated successor Wicked City (1987), Vampire Hunter D (1985) features nothing more risqué than a few boob shots and some frequent panty glances of our strong protagonist Doris.
She can hold her own and handles a whip pretty well, but having been bitten by the 10,000-year old Count (Dracula), she hires D–a wispy and mysterious hunter, riding atop his fiendishly horned cybernetic horse.
The Dhampir offspring of a vampire and a human (like Blade), D is a most formidable swordsman bearing an antagonistic face that never shuts up on his right hand and the ability to regenerate. His eyes glow when we embraces his true nature.
Defending Doris from the romantic interests of the noble vampiric Count, D combats his mutant servants imbued with all manner of time-space-bending and magical powers. One particularly weird henchman emits spiders from him porous hunchback–yuck.
In his Castlevania meets classic Dungeons and Dragons dungeon crawl he faces the shape-shifting life-draining lamia (which strike me more as a mix of sirens and naga), traps, ghosts, a witch, a pterodactyl man, a giant, and ultimately the revered noble vampire. It’s a fun mix of enemies.
The Count possesses a most powerful telekinesis which contributes some festive gore, complete with dismemberment, blood geysers, eyeball gauges and an exploding head. All in an effort to prevent the Count from forcibly wedding Doris in his gigantic castle attended by all manner of hooded minion monks.
As the story progresses we learn that D is more powerful and more important than he lets on, but even by the end some mysteries remain as he exits to parts unknown, much as he arrived. Perhaps these are mysteries answered in the Manga books.
This movie was a blast when I was a kid and still maintains its entertainment value today. It reminds me of my Dungeons and Dragons days in the best way.
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Guillermo del Toro’s Crimson Peak is a beautifully filmed Gothic romance that is bound to become a cult-classic and give the world an interesting case study in marketing. Why will it become a cult classic and be studied for years to come? It is an R-rated, $55 million Gothic romance that sunk at the international box office ($70 million), and the majority of the blame has been pointed at its inaccurate marketing. However, The market nowadays for sumptuous R-rated Gothic romances isn’t booming, so the marketers had a quandary on their hands. They could’ve marketed it as a “beautifully filmed Gothic romance,” or simply called it a “horror” film and hoped the opening weekend was huge. They went with the horror marketing, the film flopped and many people are annoyed.
Crimson Peak was never going to be an initial success. You can be annoyed at this statement, but once you take off your “del Toro” blinders you begin to realize how different and off-trend this film really is. How often do we get an A-list (Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Mia Wasikowska) cast appearing in a Gothic romance/ghost story that gets really gory at times? The marketing wasn’t going to help Crimson Peak because horror hounds would complain that it wasn’t a “horror” flick, and lovers of “romantic” films would be turned off by the ghosts and gore. I loved the film, and thought it was beautiful to look at, but ultimately I didn’t know who it was for.
Crimson Peak tells the tale of Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska) a recently married woman who moves to England to live in her husband Thomas’ (Tom Hiddleston) vast and old estate named Crimson Peak. From there things gets suitably creepy as we are introduced to oozing red clay, several ghosts and Jessica Chastain beautifully chewing scenery. The film is brilliantly shot, incredibly sumptuous and crazy ambitious. In an interview with The Wrap director Guillermo del Toro talked about his massive set:
The house was 100 percent built, from the cellar to the top floor. We built in the largest soundstage in North America. We built a working elevator, working tap water, working fireplaces. It took about seven months to layer it on paper and about six or seven months to build it physically. Every day I would supervise the paint job, the woodwork, the arranging, the decorating. It was truly a titanic labor.
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If you’ve been a fan of director Guillermo del Toro for sometime you know his films are really hard to place in a box. Whether it be Kronos, Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy, Blade 2, Pacific Rim or The Devil’s Backbone the world never knows what they are going to get. Will it be the best “horror” film of the 21st century or will it be an incredibly dumb movie about robots punching monsters? Del Toro has a tendency to do what he wants (which is great) and build incredibly intricate worlds/sets that his core audience loves. However, the mainstream only mildly embrace the magic, and this leaves del Toro’s films to scratch and claw at the box office. To be a Del Toro fan you need to embrace the roller coaster and trust that he doesn’t follow trends.
Here is a little fact that will annoy you:
Jurassic World’s domestic haul ($652, 270,625) > All of Guillermo dl Toro’s films combined ($541,276,500)
I love this shot. Best hair of 2015
Crimson Peak will find its audience eventually, but I wouldn’t blame the marketing on the box office failure. Marketing campaigns have been wrong before, but I 100% believe they had no idea what do to with this interesting ghost story. I am really happy that del Toro continues to make movies and I hope he will go back to the low-budget beauties that he told early on. He could avoid studio meddling and make the films he wants to make. He doesn’t need massive sets and CGI, he needs to tell a story uninterrupted by external forces.
What did you think about Crimson Peak?
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MY CALL: The Devil’s Sword is no obvious knock off–it’s somewhat original in its own insane little microcosm. But it should be considered with caution when making a serious (or completely unserious) choice in whether or not to watch it. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Devil’s Sword: Do you like this 80s fantasy badness? How about Flash Gordon (1980), Sorceress (1982), Kull the Conqueror (1997), Krull (1983), Conquest (1983), Deathstalker (1983), The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984) and Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987). All of these movies are better than Barbarian Queen (1985) in every possible way except for amply breast-filled minutes of screen time. Like all the fantasy but don’t care for all the “bad”? Let’s try Legend (1985), Beastmaster (1982), Conan the Barbarian (1982), Conan the Destroyer (1984) or Willow (1988) on for size.
Little in this world is more other-worldly than foreign sword and sorcery films. Don’t believe me? Watch Conquest (1983), Lucio Fulci’s Italian lunacy. But for now let’s focus on southeast Asia…
A meteor crashes to Earth near some sort of elderly Zen monk dude, who then uses its ore to forge a sword–called the “Devil’s Sword” for probably no other reason than a poor translation to English. Because why not, right?
Biggest sheath EVER!
We are then introduced to the Invisible Queen who, after the butt-naked sacrifice of a young Indonesian warrior, becomes renamed the Crocodile Queen for the remainder of the movie and summons a harem of men for a public make-out session to appease her carnal desires (which apparently require no nudity). At this point you’re already thinking “this makes no sense.” Trust me, I know. There was no better way to explain the story so far.
See, “now” she’s no longer invisible…ergo, “Crocodile Queen.”
But she’s more like a Crocodile Slut.
And she has “fire sex”…fully clothed…with no mouth kissing.
At first the plot seems to be about combating this Crocodile Queen’s lust for male sacrifices, but then we steer in the direction of insurrection among her assassins who are all willing to kill whomever they must (including each other) to claim the “other” Devil’s Sword and rule all of the warriors of the world. So we saw an old guy forge one…but now all the sudden we are to understand there are two? Sure. WTF do I have to lose.
The action in this fantasy/martial arts movie is insane and abundant–and abundantly insane. It’s a combination of classic kung fu theater and horrible knockoff Hong Kong cinema.
We have long fight clips with choppy choreography–some of it lame and simple, some of it technically cool, but none of it matching the modern technically sound work of Tony Jaa (Ong Bak, Furious 7), Scott Adkins (El Gringo, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning) or Iko Uwais (The Raid: Redemption, Merantau). It smacks a dash of Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki (1991)…not to the same slapstick level, but with several severed heads rifling through the air and Dragonball-kicking a boulder and then “riding” it to your destination does give it quite a cartoon feel.
Is that a Flying Nimbus!?!?!
One of these movie posters gives a much more honest representation of the movie than the other. Take a gander at the images below and you tell me which one is more accurate.
Worst Cyclops ever.
Complementing the lunacy are scenes of summoning crocodile men from the earth who teleport-hop all over the place, surgical amputations, a lame cannibal pit, warriors burrowing in the sand like Tremors (1990), water crocodile warriors, an undead boatman, a dungeons and dragons lair complete with booby traps and secret doors, the worst ever Cyclops monster and laser beams. Yes, I said laser beams! Complete lunacy!
Director Ratno Timoer would later go on to do Revenge of the Ninja (1984), not to be confused with the “other” famous B-movie Revenge of the Ninja (1983). In other words, you probably haven’t heard of the cheap knock off he directed. And while Devil’s Sword is no obvious knock off–it’s somewhat original in its own insane little microcosm– it’s to be treated as one when making a serious (or completely unserious) choice in whether or not to watch it.
Movies, Films & Flix 
