The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 594: Risky Business, Tom Cruise, and Glass Eggs
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Mark and Erik talk about the 1983 cult classic Risky Business. Directed by Paul Brickman, and starring Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay and a glass egg, the movie expertly tackles teen angst and 1980s business practices. In this episode, they also talk about movie soundtracks, expensive movie cars, and Guido the killer pimp
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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By Erik Hofmeyer
Every once in a while, a good example of a “tweener” movie pops up that straddles genres, and critics and audiences aren’t sure what to make of it. That was exactly the case with the 2009 “comedy” Couples Retreat co-written by Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn, and also starring Malin Akerman, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis, Kali Hawk, and Faizon Love. It had sprinkles of comedy, romance, and some drama with its genuine commentary on relationships, but it didn’t go hard in any one area to make it bite or stand out.
The plot focuses on four couples who take off to a tropical-island resort called “Eden” in support of one couple (Bell & Bateman) who were considering a divorce. Ironically, it’s nothing like the 90s flick Exit to Eden that marketed Dan Aykroid and Roise O’Donnell as police officers investigating a heist, but instead it delivered kinky sex resort escapades. Here, on this different Eden, the couples were thinking jet skis, partying, drinks, etc., however they were surprised the resort was indeed serious about a strict couples coaching program. As they reluctantly participated, all the couples realized they needed a tune-up.
Critics were likely expecting an offshoot of Old School or Made but came out annoyed by the lack of edgy, uproarious laughter. Vince Vaughn and John Favreau had a proven writing history of authentic dynamic, sharp witted conversations, and heartfelt undertones, and that’s what they delivered. I’m not sure why audiences expected anything different. I’m sure people were also wondering “who is Hollywood to tell me what a healthy marriage looks like?” So, expectations were subverted, and the movie was hammered with a 10% critics score (39% audience score) on Rotten Tomatoes.
Here are a couple reasons why Couples Retreat should be revisited.
A “streaming movie” in disguise.
Couples Retreat would be under-whelming experience in a theater, but it’s way better than most of the original “romantic comedies” in the past few years. I’d say the only recent rom-com better than Couples Retreat would be Anyone But You, but I digress.
Screen Rant published a neat article in January 2024 when fellow “rotten” (49% Rotten Tomato score) and 2009 movie, The Proposal, made its way to the Netflix Top 10 list 15 years after its release. The article discussed how new rom-coms are released fairly regularly on streaming platforms with much lower budget productions. For example, Couples Retreat had a $60M budget. In contrast, Anyone But You had a budget of $25 million, and an AI search estimated the average rom-com movie budget in the past 5 years is somewhere in the neighborhood of $30 million. Additionally, newer rom-coms typically don’t land the big-name actors of past years, with the exception of Jennifer Lawrence in No Hard Feelings. It goes to show that there’s still interest in the genre, and it’s a matter of time before other overlooked rom-coms resurface.
Couples Retreat would fit in perfectly today as streaming services crank out all kinds of hybrid, genre blending movies for more diverse audience bases. There’s more room to create with dramedies, adult animation, superhero dark comedy, etc. Take a look at Richard Linklater’s Hit Man, for example. There are elements of comedy, thriller, and romance in this big “hit.” There’s lots of room for these types of hybrid topics that don’t fit cleanly into one box.
Favreau’s and Vaughn’s script was more original than the audience realized.
- Most movies or shows about groups clustered at a beautiful destination revolve around a juxtaposition between the gorgeous scenery and something nightmarish or a scathing societal critique. For example, The Banshees of Inisherin, Midsommar, or The Beach. Whereas Couples Retreat used the beautiful destination as a tool for positive outcomes.
- It was a rom-com by committee. The movie strayed from the rom-com mold by featuring four featured couples instead of one couple. Each had their own distinct storyline and rom-com tropes of “lightbulb moments,” “grand gestures,” and happy endings.
- The “great sidekicks” trope was substituted with funny supporting characters on the island. For example, Ken Jeong pulled off a fantastic therapist and delivered some of the funniest lines in the movie about hypothetical guns and comparing Bateman’s character’s approach to the marriage as “puppy cradle death syndrome.”
- A search on IMDB about “marriage counseling movies” unearths a pretty light list of results. The psychology-angle seems to be dominated in the TV content realm with shows like “Shrinking,” the Frasier reboot, etc.
Summary
Ultimately, Couples Retreat was successful as it hauled in $171 million in sales. Critics weren’t as kind as it was hammered as “tepid,” “lethargic,” or taking too long to get moving. Critics weren’t necessarily wrong, however, the movie should be revisited because it was on an unconventional island (pun intended) in a sea of other high-profile rom-coms. Instead of relying on raunch or pushing comedy in the audience’s face, Couples Retreat tried to capture relatable themes, such as the dangers of pushing off vacations or rediscovering spontaneity, into relatable storylines without getting into too much melodrama. Writing an uplifting comedy about marriage counseling is a tall task, which we think is ripe for re-discovery on Netflix.
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John’s Horror Corner: The Shaft (2001; aka, Down), the “elevator horror” remake you probably never knew existed.
MY CALL: A great cast, a nonsensical plot, and intelligent homicidal elevators make for a just serviceable enough remake of a just rare enough subgenre (killer machines) movie to be maybe just worth watching. MORE MOVIES LIKE The Shaft: The obvious choice is Devil (2010), which is fantastic. The Platform (2019) is a different take on “elevator horror,” but it would still make a decent themed double-feature. There’s also The Lift (1983; aka, De Lift), Thang Máy (2020) from Vietnam, and Elevator Game (2023).
Writer and director Dick Maas returns nearly two decades later to deliver this remake of The Lift (1983; aka, De Lift). The plot points and highlights are all the same, only now the writing and acting are a bit better, the movie is somewhat expanded, and the budget and cast are much better. Like Sam Raimi had Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2, so does Maas have The Lift (1983) and The Shaft (2001).
The Millennium Building in New York has 102 floors and 73 elevators, which start having some mechanical problems. But once a security guard is decapitated by an elevator, elevator-phobic Lt. McBain (Dan Hedaya; Endangered Species, The Hunger, Alien: Resurrection) is on the investigation. After more gruesome accidents accumulate, elevator repairman Mark (James Marshall; Gladiator, Twin Peaks) teams up with investigative reporter Jennifer (Naomi Watts; The Ring 1-2, Goodnight Mommy, Children of the Corn IV) to get to the bottom of these strange deaths.
Some of the murderous elevator shenanigans reach wacktastic levels of CGI mayhem. None of these scenes are particularly good… but if you walked into this in the mood for a fun bad movie then you’ll enjoy a good laugh. Like the 1983 original, the mystery leads to biological computer chips that reproduce and take on a mind of their own in the form of a goopy fuse box.
The finale leads us into a third act that is more like an action movie than a horror movie. There’s bazookas, explosions, and intelligent elevator systems that somehow have telekinetic control over elevator cables. Kinda’ fun… really dumb. Adding to the fun is how you’ll recognize so many actors from the cameos, which include Edward Herrmann (The Lost Boys, The Town that Dreaded Sundown), Michael Ironside (Children of the Corn VII, The Vagrant, Prom Night II, Still/Born, Extraterrestrial, Scanners, Turbo Kid) and Ron Perlman (The Last Winter, Pacific Rim, Hellboy 1-2, Cronos).
The writing is very bad. Though, still not as bad as in The Lift (1983). And to be totally fair, while still a bad movie, it’s a much better bad movie than the original. I enjoyed both of them enough not to regret these viewings.
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John’s Horror Corner: Insidious 5: The Red Door (2023), this horror-lite sequel is like the Diet Coke of Insidious.
MY CALL: This recent attempt to defibrillate the franchise is a finely produced “soft PG-13” horror that seems best suited for anyone who felt that parts 1-4 were too scary. MOVIES LIKE Insidious 5: Insidious (2011), Insidious Chapter 2 (2013), Insidious Chapter 3 (2015; a positive review and a more negative review), and Insidious 4: The Last Key (2018). I’d also suggest venturing deep into the Waniverse with The Conjuring (2013), Annabelle (2014), The Conjuring 2 (2016) and Annabelle: Creation (2017) to round out the first half of the The Conjuring Universe.
Franchise Timeline SIDEBAR: Here are the movies in chronological order… Insidious Chapter 3 (2015), Insidious 4: The Last Key (2018), Insidious (2011), Insidious Chapter 2 (2013), Insidious 5: The Red Door (2023).
Nine years after the events of Insidious Chapter 2 (2013) and memory suppression hypnotherapy to forget the horrible events and The Further, we catch up with the Lamberts. They have just lost their kids’ grandmother, gone through a divorce, Dalton (Ty Simpkins) is about to leave for college, Josh (Patrick Wilson) is trying to find ways to reconnect, and both of them feel displaced without knowing why. We don’t spend a lot of time on this introduction, but the emotional tension feels palpable and credibly lived-in.
Dalton has lived with the knowledge that he spent his 10th year of life in a coma, and he understands very little about it much to his frustration. But as both father and son wrestle with their past, Dalton’s new art professor (Hiam Abbass) mentors him to disconnect from this past and embrace the future. In a class exercise, Dalton’s Further-suppressing hypnosis seems to be reversed and he effects on paper The Red Door. Meanwhile, Josh seeks medical help for the emotional fog and disconnection in his life, beginning with an MRI, which likewise seems to trigger a reopening to his connection to The Further. Both endure unpleasant visions, including a truly horrifying (or maybe just ultra-gross) vomit scene. For me, this grossness was the best part of the movie.
And now, of course, this means we revisit The Further. Unfortunately, this doesn’t come with the unique demons and harrowing visuals of past sequels. These visuals feel simultaneously unoriginal and phoned-in, with monstrosities which feel much less otherworldly (but more like simple goblins or zombies), and seem less powerful, menacing and dire than past Further demonic iterations. So unless the goal was to lighten the franchise for a younger, greener, weaker-stomached audience, I’d say this otherwise well-produced and well-acted sequel is something of a failure. Moreover, it completely squanders the atmosphere and terror for which it was once known. The creep factor in this movie is perhaps an all-time franchise low, and the cultivation of dread is woefully very limited. Even the revisited, once-terrifying denizens of this spirit realm are now presented as little more than glimpses of Carnival Funhouse Horrors.
This movie starts out strong, middles moderately, and finishes weakly. With all of the teen-college vibe and the generally lighter execution of the horror, this is about as PG-13 as PG-13 gets. But it’s definitely well made in terms of the non-horror components of the film. All told, I hope this can be the end of it. Instead of trying to defibrillate this franchise again, can we just try something new instead?
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MFF Quick Reviews – Hard Truths, MadS, Gladiator II, Memoir of a Snail and Evil Does Not Exist
With Awards Season in full-effect I’ve been watching a lot of the contenders to make sure that my ballot for the Georgia Film Critics Association is as thorough as possible. In a perfect world it would be great to write 1,000 words about these films, but since I don’t have the time I wanted to write some quick reviews to share my thoughts about some cool movies.
Hard Truths – Grade – A
In a year of excellent performances, Marianne Jean-Bapiste’s performance as a tormented and depressed woman named Pansy – may be one of the finest. She’s already been nominated for a plethora of awards and I hope the momentum continues all the way to the Academy Awards (Her first Oscar nomination came in 1997 for the Mike Leigh directed film Secrets & Lies). Hard Truths works because of the humanity it finds in Pansy as she’s stuck in a world of grief and distress that’s articulated with outbursts towards family, friends, clerks, strangers and pretty much everyone else. Between Jean-Bapiste’s performance, Mike Leigh’s (Secrets & Lies, Happy Go-Lucky, Vera Drake, Mr. Turner) direction and writing, and Dick Pope’s cinematography (Mr. Turner, The Illusionist), Hard Truths feels alive and vibrant. Jean-Bapiste’s is at her best when she’s verbally berating her husband Curtley (David Webber), harping on her son Moses (Tuwaine Barrett) and becoming somewhat human while interacting with her kind-hearted sister Chantelle (Michele Austin). You need to watch Hard Truths before putting together your 2024 “best of “ list.
Evil Does Not Exist – Grade – B+
Directed by Ryusuke Hamaguchi, this beautiful film features one of the best scenes of 2024 and builds towards an ending you won’t forget. Like Hamaguchi’s Oscar nominated Drive My Car, Evil Does Not Exist excels during its quiet moments that showcase the gorgeous Japanese mountain village of Mizubiki, and inhabitants who call it home. The movie focuses on the hubbub around a glamping (glamorous camping) site that will potentially be built on the mountain. The highlight of the movie is a town meeting between the local residents and two developer representatives who constantly say “We’ll take that into consideration.” Evil Does Not Exist focuses on what happens when companies don’t respect what they send downstream and the effects it has on people who rely on the steam’s clean water. If you’re looking for a patient and beautiful film, I totally recommend that you watch this movie.
MadS (2024) – Grade – B+
If you’re looking for a thrilling French film about a zombie apocalypse that is filmed in one take you will love MadS. Directed and written by David Moreau (Them), this madcap thriller focuses on what happens when a college kid named Roman (Milton Riche) comes across a heavily bandaged woman who hops into his car and promptly kills herself. This kicks off a wild night of infection spreading as Roman drives to his house to hide the body, and then goes to a party with his girlfriend Anais (Lucille Guillaume). In a fun turn of events, the narrative shifts its focus to Anais as she succumbs to the zombie infection and starts rampaging all over her town. Guillaume deserves some sort of award because she delivers a free-wheeling performance that is loaded with wonderful tics, screams, and twitches as she rides around on a bicycle looking for prey. The great thing about MadS is that it’s all about chaos and simply wants to revel in the insanity of a zombie apocalypse. It’s an audacious and wonderfully acted experience and I really hope more people watch it and enjoy the insanity.
Memoir of Snail – Grade – A
Directed and written by Oscar winner Adam Elliot (Mary and Max), Memoir of a Snail is a tragicomic exploration of loneliness that is equal parts bleak and hopeful. The story focuses on twin Australian siblings Grace Pudel (Sarah Snook) and Gilbert Pudel (Kodi Smit-McPhee), who are separated after the death of their paraplegic alcoholic father (who loved his kids dearly). The book-loving and melancholic Grace is sent to the city of Canberra where she’s adopted by a kind married couple (who are also swingers), and the pyromaniac Gilbert is sent to live with hyper-christian apple farmers in Perth. Things are bleak for both of them, but Grace finds solace in her hoarded collection of snails and her friendship with Pinky (Jackie Weaver), an eccentric woman who takes Grace under her wing and provides needed companionship. It all leads to a heartwarming finale that’s most welcome after 90-minutes of abuse heaped on the central characters. For a film that’s loaded with abuse, death, melancholia, theft, fetishes, electric shock punishment, arson, and Alzheimer’s, Memoir of a Snail manages to leave the audience uplifted – which is quite a beautiful feat.
Gladiator II – Grade – B
Gladiator II is a lot – and I love it. While talking to fellow film critic Aaron Neuwirth he told me that it’s a “perfect Mark movie,” and I agree. The following list breaks down why it’s a perfect Mark movie.
- The opening battle scene features dozens of catapults and trebuchets that are catapulting rocks and explosives at two opposing armies. An added bonus is that some of the catapults are attached to Roman boats that are about to smash into the large city walls of the North African kingdom of Numidia. This makes me very happy.
- SHARKS! There is a naval battle in the coliseum between gladiators led by Lucius Verus Aurelius (Paul Mescal), and a boat of unlucky Romans who are swiftly defeated. The best thing about this fight is that the Romans were able to transport hungry sharks to the coliseum. These hungry sharks eat the unlucky combatants who fall in the water during the fight. It’s insane – and I love it.
- Denzel Washington delivers a front kick to Paul Mescal. I don’t want to say much more, just know that it’s awesome.
- I’m a big fan of Aftersun, so seeing inde-darling Paul Mescal battling Pedro Pascal in a $200+ million budgeted film is incredible.
Overall, Gladiator II is an ambitious and chaotic mess that works because of the solid performances (Denzel Washington is the best) and bombastic battle scenes.
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Girls School Screamers (1985), it’s not the kind of movie the crappy title suggests…
MY CALL: A totally forgettable, but totally serviceable selection for a bad movie night. The gore is weak, the effects are infrequent, but the acting and story are surprising not terrible and there are a few effects scenes that are almost worth the very discounted price of admission. MOVIES LIKE Girls School Screamers: For more campy horror dropping a cast of victims in a haunted mansion, consider The Legacy (1978), Spookies (1986), Doom Asylum (1987), Spellcaster (1988), and Cthulhu Mansion (1992).
First things first. With a title like Girls School Screamers, you’d probably expect a raunchy horror loaded with sex scenes and gratuitous nudity. These elements are completely absent here, and this title is clearly doing this capable campy horror movie a disservice. I almost didn’t watch this based on the title alone! Moreover, this is not the kind of movie that typically dons the Troma label. Truly, this movie is classy when compared to its title and Troma association.
This clunky flick opens with a ghostly woman’s voice luring a preteen deep into her haunted house. Upon cackling revelation, she has a gooey flesh-melty face with writhing worms and all manner of grossness—for low budget b-horror, it’s actually pretty cool. Truth be told, this very screen grab lured me to watch this movie.
The haunted house, along with millions of dollars’ worth of art and other contents, has been willed to the Trinity Girls College. But before they can take custody of the estate, the top seven students and one nun chaperone have been selected to stay there for a weekend and inventory its contents.
A brief séance leads to the discovery that one of the girls shares an uncanny likeness with a long-dead resident of this mansion. Now fascinated by her connection to the house, she reads her historical doppelganger’s old journal and learns more about the history of the mansion’s old family. It seems her wealthy uncle was obsessed with her and was grooming her for eventual seduction and marriage! She rejects his advances and is shoved down the stairs to her death. So what then happened to the incestuous uncle, now also a murderer, you might ask? No clue. Perhaps the end of the movie will tell us.
After the pretty cool and gross opening scene, essentially nothing remotely interesting happens for the next 45 minutes. It’s as if it’s not even a horror movie for this duration. But the movie isn’t so bad that I’m hating life in this absence of horror. I’m just wondering what’s up.
The first death scene is a total throwaway where we don’t see anything juicy… not until they find the ho-hum bloody body. Deaths #2-4 are equally lackluster, involving a meat hook, a worm-covered zombie arm (no clue what’s going on there), and an unmanned car (no clue what’s going on there either). The pitchfork death scene (#6) is equally throwaway bad. The electrocution death (#5), however, was fun, gooey, gross and graphic. I had no idea that being electrocuted could result in melting flesh, facelessness, and dismemberment. That’s a PSA for all you do-it-yourselfers at home.
So who’s doing the killing here? Well, it turns out to be the ghost or somehow undying incestuous uncle! And like Dracula stalking his lost love’s reincarnation, he wants to marry the college girl who bears the likeness of his long-dead niece who had rejected him, using her dead co-eds as bridesmaids that he literally dressed up for the occasion. So… he had the bridemaids’ dresses this whole time?
And how does our reincarnated co-ed defeat this perhaps undead, undying incestuous uncle…? She just pokes him in the eyes with her fingers. That’s it. And now with five of her classmates dead and a confused, tired, elderly nun chaperone, what does she do? No clue. The movie ends with her ominously looking out the window as if she planned on staying there forever. These and so many of the aforementioned details herein make this, in my humble opinion, a delightfully bad movie worthy of any bad movie night. Just be patient between the first awesome scene and the next 45 minutes.
Writer and director John P. Finnegan (Blades) delivers a campy, enjoyably bad movie with pleasantly unawful acting and somewhat decent storytelling.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 593: Ghosts of Mars, John Carpenter, and Space Gibberish
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and Jonny Numb discuss the 2001 action horror film Ghosts of Mars, directed by John Carpenter, and starring Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge, Jason Statham and some ill-tempered ghosts, the movie focuses on what happens when an elite force of space cops battle a group of unintelligible ghost people. In this episode, they also talk about trampolines, John Carpenter’s filmography, and space gibberish. Enjoy!
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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John’s Horror Corner: Azrael (2024), a post-apocalyptic, folk horror, pseudo-zombie-demon movie.
MY CALL: This film spans various subgenres and encapsulates a lot of intensity. It’s very violent, very graphic, and goes very unexplained. I thought it was great and, frankly, a noble step up for the writer and director involved. PS—don’t trust the trailer. It doesn’t represent the movie well. MOVIES LIKE Azrael:. For more horror films that make good use of silence, try The Descent (2005), A Quiet Place (2018), or The Silence (2019).
“Many years after the Rapture… among the survivors, some are driven to renounce their sin of speech.”
For reasons unknown to us, Azrael (Samara Weaving; Mayhem, The Babysitter, Ready or Not) is captured by her mute fellow locals as if she were a criminal. She is bound and left to be sacrificed to a bloodthirsty forest demon that is summoned by ritualistic, trance-like, heavy-breathing. This demon seems to be drawn to blood, and may very well be blind (I wasn’t sure at first)—hence the mute behavior.
Early on, I’m feeling some Mad Max(1979-2024) meets The Village (204) vibes. Everyone’s clothes are ragged, patched and discolored, encampments are rough and salvaged, guns and vehicles are few; but the setting is in woods where nature is in charge, and the people are steeped in superstition. While not so dialogueless, I’m especially reminded of The Shrine (2010), a film which leaves its protagonists (and we the audience) in the dark as all around them speak another language which is not subtitled for the audience. As such, the motives of their antagonists are unclear, leaving a lot to the imagination.
Azrael escapes her ritual sacrifice and is now hunted like an escaped convict, sought after by the villagers and the elders (including Vic Carmen Sonne). Some of these encounters get brutal, with sufficient gore and graphic violence. Likewise, the zombie mob-like gore and biting and flesh-rending of our Rapture demons is very stereotypical—but not in any unsatisfying way. Hehe. These demons behave much like those flesh-eating troglodytes from The Descent (2005). This essentially shifts from folk horror to a bloody zombie movie to folk horror again… with a dash of very bloody post-apocalyptic action movie and religious horror in there. The long finale action sequence is dire upon mean upon dire!
This film, with not one word of comprehensible dialogue, leaves a lot to the imagination both in terms of the villagers’ beliefs, their reasons for pursuing Azrael, and the harrowing ending. Those of you who like explanations may be bothered by this; whereas those who appreciate the occasional mystique of being left in the dark will likely celebrate this. I fall among those pleased with this film. Director E. L. Katz (Cheap Thrills, ABCs of Death 2, Teacup) and writer Simon Barrett (Dead Birds, You’re Next, V/H/S 1-2 & 94, Blair Witch) have moved up a weight class in my opinion. This is a beautifully shot, atmospheric, intense, very cool film!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 592: Insidious, James Wan and Blumhouse Horror
You can download or stream the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker (or wherever you listen to podcasts…..we’re almost everywhere).
If you get a chance please make sure to review, rate and share. You are awesome.
Mark and David Cross discuss the 2010 horror film Insidious. Directed by James Wan, and starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye and a real jerk of a demon, the movie focuses on what happens when horrible creatures attack a nice family. In this episode, they also talk about Blumhouse horror, Leigh Whannell, and why Insidious helped spark a horror renaissance
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
You can download the pod on Apple Podcasts, Tune In, Podbean, or Spreaker.
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John’s Horror Corner: Body Bags (1993), a light but gory, “Tales from the Crypty” horror anthology.
MY CALL: This was pretty fun. There’s no clever writing or inspired ideas to be found here. The stories are pretty basic. Just plain old-fashioned, simple murderous fun in the form of some silly horror shorts. This would be great for introducing a young person (like an early teen with a dark sense of humor) to the genre.
MORE HORROR ANTHOLOGIES: Dead of Night (1945), Black Sabbath (1963), Tales from the Crypt (1972), The Vault of Horror (1973), The Uncanny (1977), Screams of a Winter Night (1979), Creepshow (1982), Screamtime (1983), Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983), Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye (1985), Deadtime Stories (1986), Creepshow 2 (1987), From a Whisper to a Scream (1987; aka The Offspring), After Midnight (1989), Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (1989), Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), Grimm Prairie Tales (1990), The Willies (1990), Two Evil Eyes (1990), Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Campfire Tales (1997), Dark Tales of Japan (2004), 3 Extremes (2004), Creepshow 3 (2006), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Chillerama (2011), Little Deaths (2011), V/H/S (2012), The Theater Bizarre (2012), The ABCs of Death (2013), V/H/S 2 (2013), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), The Profane Exhibit (2013), The ABCs of Death 2 (2014), V/H/S Viral (2014), Southbound (2015), Tales of Halloween (2015), A Christmas Horror Story (2015), The ABCs of Death 2.5 (2016), Holidays (2016), Terrified (2017; aka Aterrados, a pseudo-anthology), Oats Studios, Vol. 1 (2017), Ghost Stories (2017), XX (2017), All the Creatures Were Stirring (2018), The Field Guide to Evil (2018), Nightmare Cinema (2018), Blood Clots (2018), Shudder’s series Creepshow (2019-2021), Scare Package (2019), The Mortuary Collection (2019), Xenophobia (2019), V/H/S/94 (2021), Netflix’s series Cabinet of Curiosities (2022), V/H/S/99 (2022), V/H/S/85 (2023) and V/H/S/Beyond (2024).
This anthology essentially feels like three Tales from the Crypt episodes were strung together into a movie. And like the Tales from the Crypt series, this is a who’s who of major cameos both in terms of actors and major horror filmmakers. The stories may be a bit gory at times. But the tone is rather light and playful. This is clearly meant more to amuse, and not to scare.
Hosted by a kooky coroner (John Carpenter) who cuts his steak with a bonesaw and sips formaldehyde martinis, we are introduced to each anthology segment with Crypt Keeper-esque style. Between anthology segments, we enjoy some dark humor and corpse shenanigans. Tom Arnold (Freddy’s Dead) and Tobe Hooper have cameos as coroners in this wraparound segment called The Morgue.
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Gas Station
The story of a new employee, an unlucky homeless guy, her employer, her employer’s murderer, and a hero who forgot his credit card. Anne (Alex Datcher; Netherworld) starts her first graveyard shift at a gas station the night a murder takes place in Haddonfield. She encounters a ragged creepy customer (Wes Craven; Wes Craven’s New Nightmare), gets locked out of the attendant’s box trying to help a customer (David Naughton; Amityville: A New Generation, An American Werewolf in London), a creepy homeless man turns up dead in the garage… and so does her co-worker (Sam Raimi; Intruder). The highlight is when a guy is crushed under the car lift and spews out gouts of blood.
Hair
Despite every bit of support and assurance his girlfriend Megan (Sheena Easton) can muster, Richard (Stacy Keach; Children of the Corn 666, Class of 1999) is incredibly insecure about losing his hair. His fear of balding is driving Megan mad, and away from him.
Richard contacts a hair-rejuvenation doctor (David Warner; Waxwork, Necronomicon: Book of the Dead, The Company of Wolves, The Unnamable II, Ice Cream Man) from a TV ad, and after his treatment he instantly has a ridiculous head of long, rock star locks. Unfortunately, he keeps growing hair—it continues to grow rapidly and from places it shouldn’t… including his face. It turns out there’s more to this hair treatment than he thought.
Eye
A baseball (Mark Hamill; The Guyver, Child’s Play) player suffers a gory, career-ending eye injury in a car accident. After undergoing an experimental eye transplant, he begins to see things that slowly drive him mad. With the eye of a murderer in his head, he begins to see past victims and behave like a complete psychopath. It gets a bit stressful (from a domestic violence perspective) and culminates in him stabbing out his new eye to free himself of his madness.
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Directors John Carpenter (Gas Station, Hair) and Tobe Hooper (Eye) deliver three light horror segments in the vein of Tales from the Crypt. The audience is graced with some great chonky wound, latex and blood work, as well as numerous cameos including Greg Nicotero (The Walking Dead), Debbie Harry (aka, Blondie; Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie, Videodrome), ex-model Twiggy, and producer Roger Corman.
There’s nothing special to be found here. It’s just something nice to watch with a lot of familiar faces for films fans of the era.
Movies, Films & Flix 