Hello all. Mark here.
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The MFF podcast is back and we are asking “what if?” We ponder if Jack Burton was the star of Escape From New York, populate the eventual Predator remake and answer beautifully random questions. As always we talk about Kurt Russell, and as an added bonus we somehow combine Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I Know What You Did Last Summer.
If you have any questions for the pod please ask! We love taking random questions and making them much more random. Please review, rate and share the pod. Thank you for all the listens and support!
You can stream the podcast on the Sharkdropper website or you can download the pod on Itunes!
Sidenote: Itunes recently dubbed us “What’s hot!” Itunes don’t lie. We are hot.
Enjoy!
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MY CALL: Far from anything resembling horror, this boring art-house Iranian film features a skateboarding hipster vampire. Amazon boasts numerous positive reviews, but horror fans should beware. MORE MOVIES LIKE THIS: Film noir, I guess. Pretty much stuff that film students love and I hate.
Knowing that we are in for an Iranian vampire story, this black and white art-house endeavor opens in a manner which immediately strays from our expectations. From his snug white t-shirt to his hair, our protagonist smacks of a young Middle Eastern Marlon Brando, like a 50s greaser who at any moment may break into a dance number snapping his fingers and chanting some West Side Story Jets/Sharks theme or scream “Stellllllllllla.” Further Americanizing this film the sets, wardrobe and neighborhood could just as easily, or even more easily so, have been set in suburban Ohio rather than Iran. (It was actually filmed in California, by the way.)
But, oh yeah, this movie is also about a vampire. A vampire who only preys upon bad people—and who ensures that notion is well understood to the audience through over-exposition more deafeningly than a nearby jackhammer. For just a moment this reminded me of Innocent Blood (1992) in premise alone. Our most contemporary vampire (a young woman) listens to American LPs demonstrating to her audience two things: 1) hipsters in Iran are just as annoying as they are here, and 2) the score was the most (or only) brilliant part of this film. However, whatever the artistic intent behind her music and dancing and wardrobe and other Americanized themes, I failed to find any other brilliance here. Also on the “neat” side, the opening scene includes a cat which is later utilized as a device, like a judgmental observer of the truth behind the protagonist’s father’s addiction and paranoia. But this didn’t really lead anywhere special either.
Although I must acknowledge that the black and white helps the film by masking racial and cultural differences by obscuring skin and clothing color. But other than witnessing a sympathetic relationship between a young 50s style man and a young hipsterish vampire, I got nothing out of this. I was excited to see this film, yet it was boring since the opening scene.
Was this art? No—but I’m sure many will disagree. Was it artistic? VERY. Using a skateboard as something of a symbol for the discovery of compassion was artistic, maybe a little “neat,” but ultimately fell shy of making any impact on me (or my girlfriend). I imagine I’ll get some flack from “film fans” out there complaining that this is not a horror movie and shouldn’t be assessed as one. But guess what? This is JOHN’S HORROR CORNER and I’ll warn my readers as I see fit. LOL. Besides, I doubt anyone who would like this film reads my articles and, furthermore, I didn’t enjoy this as a non-horror film either. I didn’t enjoy it, in any form, at all.
Yup. That’s a skateboard in the bottom left.
In my eyes, writer/director Ana Lily Amirpour proves that she can make artsy films. She clearly wasn’t trying to make anything resembling horror—or so, I hope she wasn’t trying to—so horror fans should probably steer clear of this film much as I wish I had. I’m sure many will see greatness in this; but I also think those will be people who are disgusted by studio blockbusters, gore or mainstream comedies.
Somewhere in this story I think there was a plot, but I felt more like I sat through a series of scenes that simply “seemed to be linked.” A guy owes a drug dealer (who got the protagonist’s father hooked on drugs), he meets a friendly vampire who takes a shining to him, she helps him with his drug dealer problem, they find a mutual affection.
If you are a lovelorn film student, this may be for you. If you are a horror fan: RUN. Run far away and fast in the opposite direction. Amazon is producing a wealth of positive reviews, none of them praising any component of actual horror. Such praising reviews consider the film “a tale of love and loneliness set in a fictional Iranian town”; “a vampire romance”; and “a visual metamorphosis of the characters as they both make life-altering decisions, without any dialogue required.”
Horror fans, don’t be fooled by these positive reviews. To use a line closer to horror: “It’s a trick. Get an axe.”
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Hello all. Mark here.
Before we get into voting for the champion I wanted to include a list of 10 people that were left out. I got a lot of comments about who should of made the 16 cut and I want to give them a chance to shine. You can vote for two people!
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Now onto the Championship!
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The 16 have become two and they are very similar. Both Dredd and The Raid feature ultimate badasses who work their up tower blocks to take down a drug kingpin. They are action classics that feature urgency, splendid choreography and lots of death.
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What I love about Rama is he is a good dude who goes out of his way to stop the bad guys. He puts life and limb on the line in order to do a job that nobody will know he did. Whether he is fighting a villain with a baseball bat or 50 prisoners he always comes out victorious and only slightly winded. Rama is an action character perfected.
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What I love about Dredd is that he seems unperturbed by all the action. It is just another day and the way he vanquishes his foes seems believable. He is methodical in his killing and seems slightly annoyed at the attackers. Everybody is wasting their time trying to fight this guy because they have no chance of survival.
What do you do after killing 200 people? More work!
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Proudly sponsored by the audiobook company Audible, your new MFF podcast episode is here!
We hope you enjoyed our previous action-packed episode on Corona, Belgian Beer, BBQ and the Fast and Furious Films (Episode 10).
This week the MFF crew discuss their favorite in-theater movie experiences, dissect the “rules of the ghost” from It Follows and assess the “art vs. exploitation” of The Human Centipede franchise.
We also answer such important questions as…
“What made The Cabin in the Woods, Love Actually and Total Recall such amazing theatrical experiences?”
“Can Coors Light make Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li watchable?”
“What is the connection between The Fast and the Furious and Point Break…and ultimate Frisbee?”
“What makes a great dread-building scene in a horror movie?”
“When does It Follows take place?”
“What movies would benefit from recasting the lead role with Zac Efron?”
This week’s podcast is based on the following MFF reviews and articles:
It Follows: A Fantastic Horror Film Full of Dread, Urgency and Patience
The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (2011), an ass-to-mouth film about psychosis and poor hygiene
The Cabin in the Woods (2012), blowing away expectations
Bad Movie Tuesday: Street fighter The Legend of Chun Li
Is it film art? Or is it just an exploitative grindhouse film?
Sit back, relax and learn about everything you missed.
If you haven’t seen some of these movies, be comforted that we will geekily inform you as to why you should watch them.
You can stream the pod at the Sharkdropper website, listen to us on with your mobile app OneCast, or download the pod on Itunes.
If you get a chance please REVIEW, RATE and SHARE the pod!
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Hello all. Mark here
The 16 have become four and the battle lines have been drawn. I am amazed at some of the upsets and can’t wait to see who wins this tournament. It has been a roller coaster of surprises and I have no idea where it is going.
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Can Black Widow upset Dredd like she did to John Wick? Will they have answers for every attack and resort to a game of chess? Can Dredd keep this face for the entire fight?
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Can Rita Vrataski use her years of experience to out duel Rama? It will be a battle of endless cardio as Rita and Rama destroy a beach resort and still have something left in the gas tank. The cardio these two have is amazing. In one day Rita does yoga, jumps out of a plane, fights on a beach, steals a car, flies a plane and attacks a lair! Don’t get me started on Rama. I get tired watching the Raid 1 & 2.
This gif exhausts me.
Vote. Share. Come back tomorrow to vote for the winner!
Black Widow vs. Dredd
The Hulk Tamer vs. The guy who gave The Hulk a speeding ticket
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The Woman who saved the world from 100,000 deadly aliens vs. The Guy who beat up 800 thugs battled three bosses and threw 12 spin kicks in two seconds.
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Check back tomorrow and vote! Please share!
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THE VOTING HAS CLOSED! THANK YOU FOR A GREAT DAY OF UPSETS. CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR THE FINAL FOUR.
Hello all. Mark here
In case you were wondering….
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John Wick is back and joined by seven other butt-kickers. The opening round of the tournament was a fun success and there were some upsets, demolitions and split decision victories. John Wick steamrolled poor Scott Pilgrim and I am still bummed about the Conlon brothers being knocked out of the tournament. However, much like Rama in the The Raid the tournament needs to keep moving.
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Here are the Elite 8! Vote! Share! Come back tomorrow for the final four!
John Wick vs. Black Widow
The brawl would be an amazing display of spin kicks, hurricaranas and gun shenanigans.
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Luke Hobbs vs. Dredd
What happens when two immovable forces of the law meet? A whole lot of chin definition and biceps coming together. Can Dredd’s technical gun prowess take out the human equivalent of a tank?
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Rama vs. Mallory Kane
This fight would be a marvel of Pencak silat and jui jitsu. I would to see these two destroy several floors of a hotel.
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Django vs. Rita Vrataski
Django was trained by a master killer and has deadly aim. However, Rita has years worth of combat experience and doesn’t back down from killer aliens. This fight would be cool, calm and amazing.
Come back tomorrow to vote for the final four!
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POLLS ARE CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR A GREAT DAY OF VOTING! CHECK OUT THE NEXT ROUND: THE ELITE 8 and cast your vote.
Hello all. Mark here.
In honor of Daredevil and the upcoming Mad Max: Fury Road I decided to unleash this tournament upon the world. What does this tournament have to do with Mad Max and Daredevil? In a summer full of superheroes, dinosaurs and more superheroes it is a breath of fresh air to have some old fashioned human violence. The beatdowns of Daredevil and practical car damage of Mad Max are things of beauty. I could care less about Hulk vs. The Hulkbuster. I want to see John Wick vs. The Raid’s Rama.
The 16 cinematic characters I’ve included have saved the world, won MMA tournaments and taken out 77 people in 101 minutes. However, if a large green man smashed them they would be 100% dead (not mostly dead). Some of these butt-kickers may be able to kill the boogeyman but if they jump out of a plane without a parachute they will end up like The Rock and Sam Jackson in The Other Guy’s.
Sidenote: Characters who have been on screen before 2010 have been excluded. Brian Mills (Taken) crushed folks in 2008 so I didn’t add him to the list even though he was in two sequels. However, Luke Hobbs (The Rock) was in 2011’s Fast Five so he made the cut even though he was in an established series. Dredd is a remake but it was Karl Urban’s first film so he made the list. I also left out people who died. Sadly, characters like Eli (Book of Eli), Curtis (Snowpiercer), Stacker Pentecost (Pacific Rim) and Artemisia (300) have been left out.
Vote below and check back tomorrow for the Elite 8! If one of your favorite characters is losing rally your like minded friends and boost their score. THEY NEED YOUR VOTES!!!!
John Wick (John Wick) vs. Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)
The Boogeyman Killer or The Ex Destroyer?
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Black Widow (Avengers) vs. Driver (Drive)
The Human Avenger or The Scorpion?
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Luke Hobbs (Fast Five) vs. Ottway (The Grey)
The Human Tank vs. The Ultimate Survivor (AKA Wolf Fighter)
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Dredd (Dredd) vs. Tommy Conlon (Warrior)
The Law or The Human Trapezius Muscle
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Rama (The Raid) vs. Brendan Conlon (Warrior)
Violence Incarnate or The MMA Champ?
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Mallory Kane (Haywire) vs. Andy Knightley (The World’s End)
The Black Op Badass or The Drunken Bar Brawler?
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Django (Django Unchained) vs. Shinzaemon (13 Assassins)
The Silver Tongued Devil or The OG Samurai
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Rita Vrataski (Edge of Tomorrow) vs. Harry Hart (The Kingsman)
The Full Metal Bitch or The Super Svelte Spy?
Quick note: I think Harry will be back in the sequel.
sssss
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When filmmakers push the envelope, test limits and do that which no one before them has done, we often call it art. But when filmmakers push the envelope and then shove the contents of the envelope down your throat, it often loses its luster and shifts to an altogether different genre. In horror, disturbing art joins the likes of Martyrs (2008), whereas the overkill gets sorted into a pile of shocky-schlocky exploitation movies.
In a recent podcast episode we had a discussion about the line between such “art” and crap. Here’s what we discussed…
Yeah….I’m somewhat hesitant to call it art.
The Human Centipede: The First Sequence (2009) was strongly marketed far before its release. Not much was revealed about it, except for the–and pardon the expression I use here–but the “ass-to-mouth” theme being embraced by a German mad scientist. At this point in cinematic history we have seen a lot of harsh, gritty movies…I Spit on Your Grave (2010; and the original), The Last House on the Left (1972, 2009), Cannibal Holocaust (1980), Salo (1975), Martyrs (2008), Inside (2007), the Cube and Hostel and Saw franchises were already upon us. As a group of horror fans, we’ve become pretty hard to shock. So, admittedly, creative filmmakers are left with little choice but to go to extremes to shock us.
This first film brought its three-man monstrosity intended as a piece of intense shock film art. I’m not sure if it was art, nor would it bring pleasure to most viewers, but this film brought us something we had never seen before…something conceptually gross, disturbing and terrifying. Making it more effective was how (as with Hostel) it was told through the perspective of the victims. Dare I say it, but the victims’ experience was very well-acted. Their sympathy, horror and suffering were palpable. What little nudity there was never felt exploitative; rather it revealed vulnerability. It was very effective and there was very little gore or violence. In a strange way, this distasteful film was done…tastefully? No pun intended.
To quote my podcasting comrade, John Lasavath: “There’s a good chance this movie wasn’t made for you.”
The Human Centipede 2: The Full Sequence (2011) followed suit with the marketing campaign of the first. Tom Sixx boasted that this human centipede would be much, much bigger, and it was! But more isn’t always better, Tom. We grew from 3 to 12 segments (i.e., victims) and our assembling amateur scientist was far more grotesque than his predecessor.
In this sequel, The Human Centipede: The First Sequence (2009) exists as a movie “in the movie,” making this something of a metamovie. A mentally retarded, severely disturbed and abused man obsessed with Tom Sixx’s movie takes it as medical canon and pursues his own dreams of a bigger, better human centipede. This sequel (again, now as with Hostel 2) presents its story through the mad scientist’s perspective.
Contrasting the original, this sequel had a lot of gore and violence and the nudity felt less organic and more on the side of exploitative…everything felt more that way. This film was just “more” of what we saw before, viewed through a sicker and more gritty lens. It absolutely wasn’t necessary to bring us this film, but it still continued its story in a different way that felt like more than a simplistic rehashing of its precursor.
The Human Centipede 3: The Final Sequence (2015)… Thank God for this being the “final” sequence. I don’t think I could handle another. Watch the trailer and gather your thoughts…
So now you’ve seen it, in all it’s Grindhouse awfulness. How many victims does it take to shock us now? 500!!! The shit has hit the fan and disturbed a butterfly, that butterfly flew off and landed on the nose of a yak which sneezes and causes a yak stampede quaking the nearby mountains to the point of a Himalayan avalanche leading to an irregular cooling and transpiration event as all the snow melts at lower altitudes causing a huge storm…and that storm rains yak shit on all who view this movie!
This is a bad movie that was made bad on purpose. The previous two films were told with a straight face. This third film is the Sharknado of Human Centipedes.
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Hello all. Mark here.
You can download the pod on Itunes or can you stream it on the Sharkdropper website!
The Audible sponsored MFF Podcast is back! We want to thank everyone for tuning in and making us a “New and Noteworthy” pod on Itunes! We are having a blast with the show and we plan on continuing to build upon our random base built on Kurt Russell, Snowpiercer discussions and hipster Superman poses.
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In honor of our tenth episode we are dubbing it “10 Fast 10 Furious.” We wax poetic about the evolution of the Fast world and ponder what kind of Belgian beer Kurt Russell was drinking. It is a spirited discussion that is heavy on puns, 2 Fast 2 Furious love, Better Luck Tomorrow references and badass Paul Walker moments.
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If you get a chance please rate, review and share!
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MY CALL: An artificial intelligence thriller told in a manner you have not seen before. It will play on your sympathies as powerfully as your suspicions. MOVIES LIKE Ex Machina: The Machine (2013), Transcendence (2014) and Chappie (2015) all explore self-awareness, our judgment of it and its evolution in different ways. I recommend all three.
Almost entirely taking place in one location, Ex Machina keeps us mentally on our toes while never really pulling us out of our comfort zone. This sense of “comfort” works all too well as we, along with Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson; About Time, Dredd, Star Wars Episode VII), get carried away sympathizing for artificial intelligence creation Ava (Alicia Vikander; Seventh Son).
Caleb, a talented coder working for a huge search engine company called BlueBook (much like Google), is charged with performing a week-long Turing test on Ava to establish that her self-awareness is more than just a stunningly accurate simulation of sentience. But Ava surprises Caleb with her elegant mind…and heart.
Ava’s creator Nathan (Oscar Isaac; A Most Violent Year, Drive, Robin Hood) is friendly yet arrogant and well-God-complexed–perhaps not surprising being a young billionaire genius engineer who may have created the first ever truly self-aware artificial intelligence. He boasts friendship over beers and then pushes and manipulates to uncover the truths about Ava that he feels Caleb withholds.
As Caleb conducts his Turing inquiry, Ava and Nathan engage in a tug-of-war to earn Caleb’s trust. We are given convincing evidence to distrust either of them, but Ava naturally garners more sympathy being that she is kept against her will by her Frankensteinian creator. Ava is not surprisingly brilliant yet carries a mildly naïve air about her and the likewise naïve Caleb is almost immediately taken by her.
So who do we trust? The controlling Creator or the created machine? Or do we trust the innocent tester Caleb, whose apparent lack of emotional maturity may blur his judgment? We find that all three of them have their own plan…and we are left to question whose plans match, overlap, or conflict with each other’s.
Written and directed by Alex Garland (writer of Dredd, Sunshine, 28 Days Later), this film plays on our sympathy and trust. Driving the story is both Caleb and Ava’s innocence, which is starkly contrasted by their craftiness and a shared resistance to Nathan.
As the astute but lonely Caleb, Gleeson is stellar as usual. Ava was carefully and precisely acted by Vikander–her facial expressions and eyes telling us far more than her brilliantly scripted dialogue ever could. But for me Oscar Isaac was the one who truly stole the show as Nathan. Nathan has all the quirks we might expect from a locked in savant…fixation, a bipolar grip on hospitality and temperament, addiction, patience in some regards and impatient in others. Perfectly duplicitous, yet understandably so, Nathan is handled like a villain playing a relatively fair game. At times his behavior skirts that of a sociopath–watch out for the almost surreal “dance scene.” He self-medicates his solitude with alcohol, which serves to alienate the obsessed programming paragon from Caleb, befriend Caleb, and even empower Caleb.
As we learn more about the motives driving each of our three players, we see our expectations crumble before our eyes into such a simple, sensible conclusion that we somehow never saw coming. My only successful prediction: that something bad was going to happen to someone.
We adjourn with an ending that is powerful. Its impact will haunt you.
Movies, Films & Flix 
