John’s Horror Corner: Suitable Flesh (2023), a body-swapping Lovecraftian adaptation that is a bit more mature than its 80s counterparts.
MY CALL: Folks, I love all things Lovecraftian from the wild adaptations of the 80s to more contemporary releases… and I really liked this movie. Gory, intense, boundary-pushing and insidious, it seems to capture the best of the 80s and the 2020s. MORE MOVIES LIKE Suitable Flesh: For more recent Lovecraft-adapted fare, consider Dagon (2001), Dreams in the Witch-House (2005), Cold Skin (2017) and The Color Out of Space (2019). For some clearly Lovecraft-inspired movies, move on to The Shrine (2010), Black Mountain Side (2014), Harbinger Down (2015), Baskin (2015), The Void (2016), The Beach House (2019), The Superdeep (2020) and Glorious (2022).
Dr. Beth Derby (Heather Graham; Scream 2, Blessed, From Hell) finds herself a patient in the Psych Ward of the Miskatonic Medical School, under the care of her friend and colleague Dr. Daniella Upton (Barbara Crampton; Re-Animator, From Beyond, You’re Next, Chopping Mall, We Are Still Here). From her padded room, Beth narrates the story that led her there…
It all began when she met college student Asa (Judah Lewis; The Babysitter, Summer of ‘84), a troubled young man tortured by a fear of his father and a recent out of body experience. His father (Bruce Davison; Lords of Salem, Insidious: The Last Key) is unwell, unfriendly, and studies an esoteric text with macabre illustrations enabling him to utter an incantation and possess the body of another against their will.
The body-swapping lunacy kicks into high gear during a carnal sex scene that transitions into a most brutal murder with an incredibly bloody and visceral-sounding decapitation. Ten or so rapid, brutally rough, trachea-grating cuts hastily and sloppily sever the victim’s head and, I gotta’ say, I am digging this! I loved the bloody mess of it all so much. There are only two really gory scenes in the entire film—both are well-executed, spectacularly bloody, rather mean, gruesome and awesome. The second scene (actually a long sequence) involves a brutal fall, incredibly mean vehicular manslaughter, loads of stabbing, and it even continues rolling into an autopsy and then beyond. This mangled body is an amazing macabre sight, and we see a lot of it.
There is a highly sex-driven component to all this, and Beth’s husband Edward (Johnathon Schaech; Quarantine, Flight 7500, Prom Night) certainly seems to enjoy the ride. Sometimes the sex is just for the sake of evil lust, but at one point it facilitates a bodily possession. I guess just like how the body-swapping alien in The Hidden (1987) liked red sports cars, this demon likes… well… yeah.
Director Joe Lynch (Wrong Turn 2, Chillerama, Mayhem, Creepshow series) should be our new go-to Lovecraft director—at least, for the less high-brow fare. Adapted from the H. P. Lovecraft story “The Thing on the Doorstep” by writer Dennis Paoli (Dagon, From Beyond, Re-Animator, Meridian), I also hope this film spurs more projects for this writing-directing duo. Because this was good. Really good. Although not as wild as the Lovecraftian adaptations of the 80s (e.g., Re-Animator, From Beyond), this brings a more mature spin to the occasionally off-the-wall concepts of those movies while still retaining juuuuust enough over-the-topness to remain titillating. We need more movies like this!
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Mark and David Cross (@ItsMeDavidCross on X) talk about Maestro, Killers of the Flower Moon, Poor Things, Past Lives, Oppenheimer, Anatomy of a Fall, The Zone of Interest, The Holdovers, American Fiction and Barbie. In this episode, they also rank the 10 nominees and talk about which film will win Best Picture.
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John’s Horror Corner: 976-EVIL (1988), a campy and feisty, Freddy-inspired horrorscope.
MY CALL: This is one of those horror movies that has the mildly zany flavor and style of a NOES sequel (like NOES 3-5-ish). Maybe that’s your taste. It’s certainly mine. MORE MOVIES LIKE 976-EVIL: I’d actually recommend against moving on to the very inferior 976-Evil II (1991). Instead, I’d suggest The Horror Show (1989), Prom Night II (1987) and Prison (1987) for more NOES sequel-like horror. Since this is more about the effects of the call and less about the calls themselves, I’ll not be suggesting One Missed Call (2003, 2008), The Ring (2002), Unfriended (2015).
Two high schoolers living in the religious household of their aunt, Hoax (Stephen Geoffreys; Fright Night, The Chair) and his cousin Spike (Patrick O’Bryan; 976-EVIL II) seek excitement and freedom. Spike calls in on a magazine ad for his “horrorscope”—976-EVIL. A raspy voice (Robert Picardo; Legend, The Howling) narrates what sounds like any old horoscope with a dash of ominousness. But when Spike doesn’t act as his horrorscope suggests, he receives taunting calls from random payphones. Zany things swiftly ensue, including raining fish which is investigated by Modern Miracle magazine reporter (Jim Metzler; Waxwork II, Children of the Corn III).
Eventually Hoax finds the magazine ad and calls for his own horrorscope which leads him to his crush, who happens to be Spike’s girlfriend Suzie (Lezlie Deane; Freddy’s Dead, Girlfriend from Hell). Hoax goes all in, performing a Satanic ritual to win her over after she rejects him. Succumbing to the infernal influence, Hoax begins to lose his hair, breaks out in a rash, and grows some really gnarly claws.
From the cold open death scene, the horror stunts and shenanigans kick off adequately. Victims burn in telephone booth hellfire, get facially impaled with shards of shattered glass, and some cats eat their owner’s mangled body.
Director Robert Englund (Freddy’s Nightmares, Killer Pad) injects NOES nightmare sequence flavor into many scenes of this movie. Once Hoax begins his change, the effects get more interesting as he becomes more demonic in appearance, wild personality, and gains supernatural power. We don’t see things on screen that we’d like (e.g., gory moments and kills), but even the aftermath is somewhat pleasing. Hoax is hokey in a silly “Sequel Krueger” kinda’ way that works, and it begs some forgiveness for the gore that we are denied. By the end, Hoax looks like a rock’n roll demon elf and his house turns into a gateway to an icy Hell.
You know, the death scenes are generally on the weaker side (since we mostly just see the aftermath and not the on-screen death). But the gore and monster make-up effects are swell in precisely that 80s nostalgic way that I enjoy, even if a bit lower budget than I prefer, and the story and characters worked well for me, too. This was a pretty fun re-watch. Strongly recommended to fans of 80s horror, Freddy Krueger and the somewhat wacky NOES sequels.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 546: Last Night in Soho, Edgar Wright and Mirrors
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Mark and Nathan Lahay discuss the 2021 supernatural thriller Last Night in Soho. Directed by Edgar Wright, and starring Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, Matt Smith, Diana Rigg and lots of pop songs, the movie focuses on the exploits of a fashion student named Eloiuse who over-idolizes the 1960s. In this episode, they also talk about nostalgia, dream sequences and Edgar Wright’s filmography. Enjoy!
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 545: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Toyota Tundras, and Good Sequels
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Mark and Tom discuss the 2003 science fiction action film Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines. Directed by Jonathan Mostow, and starring Claire Danes, Nick Stahl, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kristanna Loken and a Toyota Tundra, the movie focuses on what happens when more robots are sent back in time to kill John Connor. In this episode, they also talk about successful sequels, robot mayhem, and Nick Stahl’s filmography. Enjoy!
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John’s Horror Corner: Witchboard (1986), a solid classic 80s “Ouija horror” that is great despite its less impressive death scenes.
MY CALL: This movie is refreshingly well made for its era and budget. A lot is done with a little when everyone involved cares about the product. Sure, you’ll wish for more graphic horror. But you shouldn’t be disappointed if you love the 80s. MORE MOVIES LIKE Witchboard: For more quality “Ouija horror”, I’d skip Ouija (2014) altogether and go right to Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016).
At a party, Linda (Tawny Kitaen; from those White Snake music videos) and her law school classmate Brandon (Stephen Nichols; House) call to the spirit of a deceased young boy. After the party, Brandon leaves his Ouija board and Linda uses it to call the boy’s spirit again. But she forgets how Brandon taught her to be sure the spirit was not an imposter! Apparently, this is a typical spirit-calling problem.
The spirit connects personally with Linda, her boyfriend Jim’s (Todd Allen) buddy is killed in a freak accident at a construction site, and now it seems the ghost wants Jim out of the picture. The spirit wants to become Linda’s unborn child!
The spirit becomes fixated on Linda and warns her with kitchen knives and tomato sauce of the consequences of abandoning him (i.e., returning the Ouija board). As Linda becomes more obsessed with the board and exhibits increased paranoia, Brandon warns that the spirit must be exorcised. So, Jim and Brandon bring a kooky psychic medium (Kathleen Wilhoite; Fire in the Sky, Angel Heart, Dream Demon) to the house to perform a séance. Ultimately, the spirit is an imposter, a powerful evil mass murderer who was hunted down and slain in the very house where Linda and Jim live.
A scalding-hot shower scene, a possession, a throwdown between the spirit (in Linda’s body and a dapper suit) and Jim, an expository monologue explaining everything, and a bunch of bullet holes in a Ouija board all force our way through a hasty final act.
The death scenes are okay. Not great, not bad. But what makes this movie work is actually the story and the characters. I was really engaged despite the mediocre deaths. And other than some blood, the gore is minimal. Still, I really dig this movie. I didn’t when I was younger. But older, more seasoned me appreciates this film for the care of its filmmakers. Writer and director Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons, The Cellar) knows what he’s doing, and so did his cast and crew. As such, I’m issuing a strong recommendation for fans of 80s horror and “Ouija horror.”
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 544 – Columbus, Kogonada and Architecture
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Mark and Joey (@soulpopped on X) discuss the 2017 drama Columbus. Directed by Kogonada, and starring John Cho, Haley Lu Richardson, Parker Posey, and several beautiful structures located in Columbus, Indiana, the movie is the result of what happens when a film scholar decides to direct a film (and wildly succeeds!). In this episode, they also talk about production design, big swings, and their favorite films released since 2017. Enjoy!
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Bad Movie Tuesday: Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (1992), another laughably bad, mildly raunchy, B-movie horror-comedy.
MY CALL: Just another super low budget “sexy killer hot chicks luring men to their death” kinda’ bad movie. I watched it purely for the cast and in hopes that the meat pie cannibalism would lead to scenes reminiscent of Blood Diner (1987). Nope. No such satisfaction. MORE MOVIES LIKE Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies: The best match in tone and style (that you were hoping to find when you watched Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies) might be things like Blood Diner (1987), Rabid Grannies (1988), Children of the Night (1991), Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh (1991), The Granny (1995) and Killer Tongue (1995). All of these movies are much better Bad Movie Tuesday candidates.
Director and co-writer Joseph F. Robertson deviates from his career as an adult film director to attempt this horror comedy. Although, truth be told, this feels a lot like an adult film. The dialogue is crass and the line delivery is, well, pretty porny. And when all of Auntie Lee’s (Karen Black; Invaders from Mars, Children of the Night, It’s Alive III, House of 1000 Corpses, Mirror Mirror, Night Angel) nieces sit together in the living with guests, it feels like a brothel… and plays out like one, too. Lee’s scantily-clad nieces are tasked with luring men back to the house so they can harvest their meat for Auntie’s meat pies. The premise sure makes this sound like a raunchy ride. But it’s not so bad. I mean, it’s bad. But not because of graphic sex scenes or overly abundant nudity like some Fred Olen Ray flick.
Not surprisingly, the movie is rather uneventful. The writing is painful, and the acting and general pacing are yet worse. An attractive woman lures a man to Auntie Lee’s and he succumbs to a laughably silly decapitation booby trap. An adult lady (Petra Verkaik; Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV) “baby” (not sure what the heck is going on there) bites a chunk out of a guy’s neck (off-camera), one girl lamely and gorelessly gouges a guy’s eyes out, and there’s a meat hook gag that’s on camera way too briefly for me to care. To say that the deaths and gore are phoned-in would be an understatement. This movie feels a lot more like a vehicle for adult film stars (e.g., Pía Reyes, Teri Weigel, Ava Fabian, Kristine Rose) to get a shot at “real” (i.e., non-penetration) acting.
Much to my surprise, the scenes aren’t loaded with nudity. In fact, there’s very little considering what was expected (and the filmography of much of the female cast). But when there is nudity, the scenes are as cheap and out-of-place as they come. I’d even call these scenes bizarre. One girl’s gigantic “theater stage-sized” bedroom has something like a neon Stone Henge in it… yeah, in the bedroom… as if it were a dreamscape or like they stepped into another dimension. Another bedroom has a huge (like, REALLY huge) neon snake altar… again, inside the bedroom… some serious magical interdimensional square footage is going on here. As if all this wasn’t random enough, the women sacrifice a man in a totally dull murder scene in their pool in the name of Lucifer.
My greatest source of entertainment watching this nonsense was the dialogue. Good lord, it is wretched. Most lines feel like lead-ins to sex scenes. The kitchen scenes were also passable even if they never build to anything substantial. But seeing the kitchen counter festooned with severed body parts and bits of blood and meat begs a grin, even if it doesn’t beg forgiveness of the movie’s general shortcomings. Other lost opportunities include the casting. Seeing Pat Morita (The Karate Kid I-III) playing the local sheriff was only entertaining for the first stale scene; and the small derpy groundskeeper role of horror legend Michael Berryman (The Guyver, Deadly Blessing, The Hills Have Eyes) was sadly squandered. They never even play up the cannibalism aspect of the movie.
All in all, while worth a few eyerolling grins, this is not my kind of bad movie. The lame death scenes all fall flat, there’s basically no gore outside of kitchen scenes, and the point of the movie seems to be watching hot girls dressed in hot outfits lure guys to Auntie Lee’s.
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The Movies, Films and Flix Podcast – Episode 543: The 2023 Marvel Cinematic Universe Recap
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Mark and Norbert discuss the 2023 Marvel Cinematic Universe releases (and Echo) and hand out random awards to their favorite moments. In this episode you’ll hear them talk about Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, The Marvels, Secret Invasion, Loki S2, and Echo.
If you are a fan of the podcast, make sure to send in some random listener questions (we love random questions). We thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy the episode!
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John’s Horror Corner: Spellcaster (1988), a serviceably campy supernatural horror without much in the way of traditional “spellcasting.”
MY CALL: This is another one of those movies where the plot is completely vacuous, the characters all suck, and absolutely random, weird, supernatural things and/or monsters befall the victims with no rhyme or reason. But for one of those kinds of movies, it’s good enough for a one time viewing. I enjoyed it enough. MORE MOVIES LIKE Spellcaster: Want more spellcraft from your spellcasters? Well, there’s The Kiss (1988), Warlock (1989), The Craft (1996) or Spell (2020).
Tom (Harold Pruett; Embrace of the Vampire) and Jackie (Gail O’Grady; Lycan) win a TV show drawing to be million-dollar treasure hunt contestants in a castle in Italy with celebrity Cassandra Castle (Bunty Bailey; Dolls). The other contestants include the perpetually-snacking likable glutton Harlan (Michael Zorek; Teen Wolf Too), Myrna (Martha Demson), Teri (Kim Johnston Ulrich; Rumpelstiltskin, Werewolf), the Italian Casanova Tony (Marcello Modugno; Demons, You’ll Die at Midnight), the pretentious French Yvette (Traci Lind; Class of 1999, Fright Night part 2), and Jamie (Dale Wyatt; Troll, From Beyond, Ghoulies II). Our over-the-top RockTV show host (Adam Ant; Nomads) introduces everyone to the rules, amps up the enthusiasm, and makes futile efforts to mitigate Cassandra’s reckless alcoholism.
A zany cliché looming over his crystal ball, Sr. Diablo (Adam Ant; Nomads) remotely observes the contestants in his castle. They’re almost all despicable people. They lie, cheat, seduce, sexually assault, vandalize… only Tom and Jackie are nice. So let’s assume they will be our only survivors. But contrary to the movie title, our “spellcaster” Sr. Diablo does very little actual spellcasting in the classic sense. Rather, he engages in supernatural parlor tricks and has a rather constant magical control over his castle.
The first death is woefully bad. A car just explodes to no satisfaction of any viewer who enjoys death scenes. A lame deadly fall likewise falls flat. But thankfully things quickly get interesting when a goblin-like statue and a grand wooden chair come to life and kill the intolerable French woman. Yet more fun, the basement is a crypt full of the groaty living dead. There’s even a transformation scene of a werepig. Yes, were-pig! That’s right up there in the wacky category with the werepanther from Waxwork II (1992)! This werepig transformation is easily the coolest and most elaborate effect of the movie.
There’s even a demon-troll monster of sorts, a Lovecraftian flying thing that eats a guy’s face, a demonic dog… This is definitely one of those movies where I suspect the effects crew got to raid a studio’s storage closet and re-use a bunch of monstrous props, masks, suits, and the like. Because these effects seem so random it’s silly. Absolutely random, weird, supernatural things and/or monsters befall the victims with no rhyme or reason. This may sound bad—and normally it would be—yet the effects are satisfyingly diverse and decently executed! It may not be a creature feature, but it just might scratch that itch… in a zany way.
Director Rafal Zielinski (Hangman’s Curse) has never really done much—horror, I mean. So maybe we shouldn’t expect much of his movie. It’s nothing great, pretty dumb, but also pretty fun! I enjoyed this nonsense even if I never feel that I’ll see it again.
Movies, Films & Flix 