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Bad Movie Tuesday: Red Riding Hood

August 16, 2011

Hello all. Mark here

I asked my girlfriend Megan to write this weeks BMT. I’ve been in Chicago and wasn’t able to write.
Before I left we rented Red Riding Hood. I knew there was a very good chance it would be bad. I was right.  It reeks of badness… a good way. I has fun time watching this ridiculous film from Twilight director Catherine Hardwick. She really knows how to make a bad film with a decent cast.

Red Riding Hood

By: Megan Arnall

Often times I find myself in disagreement with the ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, but on this movie I’d have to say they are spot on (11% Rotten…woah).
A small village is haunted by a werewolf and a young woman is determined to save her village and find out who the werewolf is…while also navigating a love triangle?  On paper, this really should’t be a bad movie, kind of.
What I liked:
-I like Amanda Seyfried as an actress; Big Love, Veronica Mars, Mean Girls..I think she has potential, but she needs the right part.
-Gary Oldman…can you say Sirius Black? He is great in the Harry Potter films.
-The cheesy side of my personality loved the wolf puns and lines they used from your classic wolf stories (‘Grandmother, my what big eyes you have…” etc).

What I didn’t like:
-Gary Oldman; In this movie his talent goes to waste, he plays a priest with experience in ridding towns of werewolves. That sounds all honorable and great…until he and his soldiers start murdering people…what?!  Yea, murdering them, isn’t he supposed to be helping? Isn’t he a priest?
-The Brazen Bull, Father Soloman (Oldman) brings an instrument of torture with him from far away lands.  Said instrument is a giant, hollow iron elephant.  Question: this is a village in the mountains, how did he get this thing through the forests? This thing must weigh a ton.
-The snow…but it’s not snow. It is clearly sand.  I grew up around beaches my entire life guys and I know what sand looks, sounds and moves like that that is definitely what is covering the ground in this village.
-Leo DiCaprio co-produced this.  Leo, I like you…couldn’t you use your time more constructively…you know, acting in movies like Inception and The Departed?
-The Seyfried-Fernandez-Max Irons love triangle. My only comment is: Why?
-The majority of the people in this movie are NOT good people, who am I supposed to root for?  Even nice little Seyfried stabs her boyfriend in the stomach, when he is just checking to make sure she is safe.
Folks, this is NEVER a good way to start off when making a movie:

Director Catherine Hardwicke had to persuade her Red Riding Hood star Amanda Seyfried to work with newcomer Shiloh Fernandez, “Amanda had met Shiloh before and did not like him, so when I told Amanda I was going to bring him in to audition, she made a face. But she tried it, and they hit it off.”

I haven’t made many movies, unless you count this and this, but seriously? How does that conversation go?
A: Shiloh who? Isn’t that one of the Jolie-Pitt kids?
C: Give him a chance, I totally almost picked this guy for Edward Cullen, a casting choice that would set the tone for the entire multi-billion dollar Twilight franchise…but then I didn’t.  So you should love him.
I’m going to pull a John here and suggest some wolf movies you should watch:
Wolfman–  Great cast, pretty amazing visuals
Underworld (the first one)- Because who doesn’t like an epic battle between wolves and vampires?
True Blood: Season 3– What? How did that get in there? 😉
-This movie was shipped to theaters under the code name, “Fangs of Affection.”


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